Fic: kiss me like i matter
Title: kiss me like i matter
Author:
remuslives23
Rating: PG15
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1112
Summary: Ianto had been waiting for this. As soon as Lisa’s name had fallen from his lips during Gwen’s horribly thoughtless last snog game, Ianto had been waiting for Jack to confront him about it.
Notes: I took a break from trying to write original fic and mainlining Glee fic to finally finish this months after I started. I want my Torchwood muse back NOW! Unbeta’d so please be forgiving.
Contains: Language, mild sexual situation, angst like whoa!
Episode References: Countrycide, Cyberwoman
Disclaimer: This fiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by Russell T Davies. No money is being made and no offense is intended. Characters are of legal age for sexual situations.
‘I don’t know who you were looking to punish yesterday, but consider us all chastised.’
Ianto closed his eyes. He had been so close to escaping: his foot had been in the lift before Jack’s cold words froze him in place. With a careful and resigned exhale, he stepped back and opened his eyes in time to see the lift doors close tight.
‘I never had you pegged as spiteful, Jones, Ianto Jones,’ Jack continued, closer now, voice bitter and dripping with barely suppressed anger. ‘Did you enjoy your little bit of petty revenge?’
Ianto had been waiting for this. As soon as Lisa’s name had fallen from his lips during Gwen’s horribly thoughtless last snog game, Ianto had been waiting for Jack to confront him about it. He had hurt and embarrassed both Jack and the team, and Ianto knew Jack wouldn’t take that lightly, knew that Jack would never believe he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone with his answer. Not without an explanation. Not without Ianto having to admit just how badly he had betrayed Lisa’s memory.
‘It wasn’t about revenge,’ he mumbled, voice rough from his earlier screams of horror and fear in the farmhouse. It felt as though each word was burred, scraping and scratching against his raw throat as they made their way to his lips. Ianto swallowed in an attempt to ease their passage, wincing as his brutalized larynx protested.
Jack was as sceptical as Ianto expected. ‘Really?’
Ianto could feel the heat of Jack’s body behind him, every inch of his aching body acutely aware of the other man’s proximity, and Ianto couldn’t stop himself from swaying back into the warm strength. The slight movement was enough to make him stagger, his balance compromised by exhaustion and pain, and Jack caught him as he was about to head butt the wall.
‘Come on,’ Jack snapped, impatience tinged with concern as he almost lifted Ianto into his arms. ‘You can’t go home.’
Ianto pulled away, managing to stop himself from tumbling over with a hand against the wall. ‘I’m fine,’ he insisted, but Jack gripped his arm with enough force to make Ianto whimper and led him towards the couch.
‘You’re not fine,’ Jack said, slowing his usual rapid clip so Ianto could keep up. ‘You’ll stay here tonight.’
Ianto was hurting too much to argue any further; the thumping at his temples was becoming more intense with every movement and there wasn’t a part of him that didn’t ache. He didn’t have the strength to protest. All he wanted was to lie down, pull a sheet over his head, and cry until he passed out.
Jack settled him on the couch, giving Ianto a few moments of respite as he disappeared into his office, returning with a blanket and pillow, which he shoved under Ianto’s head. Ianto moaned quietly in gratitude as his head sank into the soft cushion and the corner of Jack’s mouth quirked up as he shook the blanket out then draped it over Ianto. He crouched beside the couch, fussing unnecessarily with the blanket, his thumb casually brushing over the curve of Ianto’s neck. The skin-on-skin contact made Ianto sigh in longing, and Jack stilled at the sound.
‘Get some sleep,’ he murmured gruffly, trying to hide the affection and worry in his gaze as he stared down at Ianto. ‘We can talk some other time.’
He stood, brushing his hands off against the front of his trousers before sliding his fingers uncertainly through Ianto’s curls. ‘You were brave out there today, Ianto. Toshiko owes you her life.’
Ianto clenched his eyes closed, trying to hold back the torrent of tears that threatened at the unexpected kindness. He heard Jack click his tongue in frustration then the fingers in his hair disappeared. ‘Night, Ianto.’
His shoes scraped against the floor as he turned and a jolt of panic jagged through Ianto. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want Jack to walk away and leave him by himself with his nightmares.
‘In the seven weeks and three days since I lost her,’ Ianto said, surprised by the strength of his own voice in the silence, ‘I’ve fucked my way through a good part of Cardiff’s gay population.’
The shuffling stopped as Ianto continued, confessing his final betrayal of Lisa. ‘I look for men because I can’t stand the thought of being inside a woman that isn’t her. Pale-skinned men because I can’t stand the thought of someone with skin the colour of hers touching me.’
He bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, the thick, metallic flavour mixing with salt from the tears he hadn’t realised were pouring down his cheeks. ‘I couldn’t remember any of their names, couldn’t remember if I’d even asked, so I chose the only name - the only person - that mattered.’
Ianto turned his face into the pillow, letting the cool cotton - oh, god, it smelled like Jack - soak up the tears and wishing Evan Sherman had been a little bit faster with his blade because he can’t fucking do this anymore…
A warm hand on his shoulder startled him and Ianto tried not to wail his relief at being touched with something other than lust or greed or hunger. The couch shifted beneath him as Jack slid in under the blanket, pulling Ianto against his chest and bracing his trembling body with strong, safe arms. ‘Ianto,’ he crooned, voice soft and gentle as fingertips danced tenderly across Ianto’s scalp. ‘Oh, Ianto.’
Ianto lurched forward, pressing his blood-stained mouth against Jack’s. Jack’s breathing hitched in surprise then his mouth opened and his warm tongue flicked over Ianto’s lips. With a moan, Ianto met it with his own, tipping his head to allow Jack better access. Jack’s tongue pressed against the cut on Ianto’s lip, making the small wound sting, and the hot lick of pain sets his nerve-endings on fire. His hips stuttered, stiff cock pushing wantonly against Jack, and the reciprocal hardness Ianto felt rubbing over his thigh made him groan.
Then Jack was pulling back, gently disengaging their lips but remaining close. ‘Ianto,’ he whispered, stroking his thumb along the ridge of Ianto’s jaw. ‘What do you want?’
Ianto’s chest ached as he murmured, ‘I want to kiss someone I’ll remember. I want someone to matter.’
Jack let out a shaking breath and pressed their foreheads together. ‘And it would matter with me?’
Ianto shifted so he could look Jack in the eye. ‘Yes,’ he said softly, but firmly, and Jack smiled sweetly.
‘Good,’ he said before he leaned in and caught Ianto’s lips with his own once again.
Fin.
Author:
remuslives23
Rating: PG15
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1112
Summary: Ianto had been waiting for this. As soon as Lisa’s name had fallen from his lips during Gwen’s horribly thoughtless last snog game, Ianto had been waiting for Jack to confront him about it.
Notes: I took a break from trying to write original fic and mainlining Glee fic to finally finish this months after I started. I want my Torchwood muse back NOW! Unbeta’d so please be forgiving.
Contains: Language, mild sexual situation, angst like whoa!
Episode References: Countrycide, Cyberwoman
Disclaimer: This fiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by Russell T Davies. No money is being made and no offense is intended. Characters are of legal age for sexual situations.
‘I don’t know who you were looking to punish yesterday, but consider us all chastised.’
Ianto closed his eyes. He had been so close to escaping: his foot had been in the lift before Jack’s cold words froze him in place. With a careful and resigned exhale, he stepped back and opened his eyes in time to see the lift doors close tight.
‘I never had you pegged as spiteful, Jones, Ianto Jones,’ Jack continued, closer now, voice bitter and dripping with barely suppressed anger. ‘Did you enjoy your little bit of petty revenge?’
Ianto had been waiting for this. As soon as Lisa’s name had fallen from his lips during Gwen’s horribly thoughtless last snog game, Ianto had been waiting for Jack to confront him about it. He had hurt and embarrassed both Jack and the team, and Ianto knew Jack wouldn’t take that lightly, knew that Jack would never believe he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone with his answer. Not without an explanation. Not without Ianto having to admit just how badly he had betrayed Lisa’s memory.
‘It wasn’t about revenge,’ he mumbled, voice rough from his earlier screams of horror and fear in the farmhouse. It felt as though each word was burred, scraping and scratching against his raw throat as they made their way to his lips. Ianto swallowed in an attempt to ease their passage, wincing as his brutalized larynx protested.
Jack was as sceptical as Ianto expected. ‘Really?’
Ianto could feel the heat of Jack’s body behind him, every inch of his aching body acutely aware of the other man’s proximity, and Ianto couldn’t stop himself from swaying back into the warm strength. The slight movement was enough to make him stagger, his balance compromised by exhaustion and pain, and Jack caught him as he was about to head butt the wall.
‘Come on,’ Jack snapped, impatience tinged with concern as he almost lifted Ianto into his arms. ‘You can’t go home.’
Ianto pulled away, managing to stop himself from tumbling over with a hand against the wall. ‘I’m fine,’ he insisted, but Jack gripped his arm with enough force to make Ianto whimper and led him towards the couch.
‘You’re not fine,’ Jack said, slowing his usual rapid clip so Ianto could keep up. ‘You’ll stay here tonight.’
Ianto was hurting too much to argue any further; the thumping at his temples was becoming more intense with every movement and there wasn’t a part of him that didn’t ache. He didn’t have the strength to protest. All he wanted was to lie down, pull a sheet over his head, and cry until he passed out.
Jack settled him on the couch, giving Ianto a few moments of respite as he disappeared into his office, returning with a blanket and pillow, which he shoved under Ianto’s head. Ianto moaned quietly in gratitude as his head sank into the soft cushion and the corner of Jack’s mouth quirked up as he shook the blanket out then draped it over Ianto. He crouched beside the couch, fussing unnecessarily with the blanket, his thumb casually brushing over the curve of Ianto’s neck. The skin-on-skin contact made Ianto sigh in longing, and Jack stilled at the sound.
‘Get some sleep,’ he murmured gruffly, trying to hide the affection and worry in his gaze as he stared down at Ianto. ‘We can talk some other time.’
He stood, brushing his hands off against the front of his trousers before sliding his fingers uncertainly through Ianto’s curls. ‘You were brave out there today, Ianto. Toshiko owes you her life.’
Ianto clenched his eyes closed, trying to hold back the torrent of tears that threatened at the unexpected kindness. He heard Jack click his tongue in frustration then the fingers in his hair disappeared. ‘Night, Ianto.’
His shoes scraped against the floor as he turned and a jolt of panic jagged through Ianto. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want Jack to walk away and leave him by himself with his nightmares.
‘In the seven weeks and three days since I lost her,’ Ianto said, surprised by the strength of his own voice in the silence, ‘I’ve fucked my way through a good part of Cardiff’s gay population.’
The shuffling stopped as Ianto continued, confessing his final betrayal of Lisa. ‘I look for men because I can’t stand the thought of being inside a woman that isn’t her. Pale-skinned men because I can’t stand the thought of someone with skin the colour of hers touching me.’
He bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, the thick, metallic flavour mixing with salt from the tears he hadn’t realised were pouring down his cheeks. ‘I couldn’t remember any of their names, couldn’t remember if I’d even asked, so I chose the only name - the only person - that mattered.’
Ianto turned his face into the pillow, letting the cool cotton - oh, god, it smelled like Jack - soak up the tears and wishing Evan Sherman had been a little bit faster with his blade because he can’t fucking do this anymore…
A warm hand on his shoulder startled him and Ianto tried not to wail his relief at being touched with something other than lust or greed or hunger. The couch shifted beneath him as Jack slid in under the blanket, pulling Ianto against his chest and bracing his trembling body with strong, safe arms. ‘Ianto,’ he crooned, voice soft and gentle as fingertips danced tenderly across Ianto’s scalp. ‘Oh, Ianto.’
Ianto lurched forward, pressing his blood-stained mouth against Jack’s. Jack’s breathing hitched in surprise then his mouth opened and his warm tongue flicked over Ianto’s lips. With a moan, Ianto met it with his own, tipping his head to allow Jack better access. Jack’s tongue pressed against the cut on Ianto’s lip, making the small wound sting, and the hot lick of pain sets his nerve-endings on fire. His hips stuttered, stiff cock pushing wantonly against Jack, and the reciprocal hardness Ianto felt rubbing over his thigh made him groan.
Then Jack was pulling back, gently disengaging their lips but remaining close. ‘Ianto,’ he whispered, stroking his thumb along the ridge of Ianto’s jaw. ‘What do you want?’
Ianto’s chest ached as he murmured, ‘I want to kiss someone I’ll remember. I want someone to matter.’
Jack let out a shaking breath and pressed their foreheads together. ‘And it would matter with me?’
Ianto shifted so he could look Jack in the eye. ‘Yes,’ he said softly, but firmly, and Jack smiled sweetly.
‘Good,’ he said before he leaned in and caught Ianto’s lips with his own once again.
Fin.