Internal/External (The Luck of the Draw Remix)
Title: Internal/External (The Luck of the Draw Remix)
Author: Molly (irreelle at mac dot com)
Summary: "He wants, for the thousandth time, to tell them all that sometimes he feels like he and Snape got opposite ends of the same unfortunate stick."
Rating: PG
Pairing: The tiniest hint of Remus/Sirius, if you squint hard -- and are kinda drunk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just having fun.
Assigned Author: lionessvalenti (to whom I apologize a whole lot for being a tardy schmuck).
Original drabble:
"Greasy slime." James began to stand.
Remus looked across the room at Snape, who was hunched over a book.
"Why don't you leave him alone?"
"Aww, do you fancy him, Moony?" Sirius asked in a teasing voice. He
wrapped an arm around Remus' neck and kissed his cheek.
"Of course not-"
"He earns it," James said. "Always making fun of you two, and Wormtail
here, when he turned that raccoon into a slug."
"Not always," Remus said.
"Remus," Sirius said, pulling away.
"Look, I don't fancy him, all right?" Remus said sharply to Sirius. He
looked at James. "But there's no reason to bother him when he's reading a
book."
"If he bothers us-" James said.
"I'll never say another word."
"Anything for Moony," Sirius said.
Remus looked at Snape again and sighed.
Remus only starts paying attention to the conversation around him when Peter arrives late for lunch, dropping his bag and muttering, "It was Snape, I know it was." An alarm goes off within Remus' head, and he raises his eyes from the DADA essay he has due directly after lunch and glances around at his friends. "What's happened, then?" he asks cautiously.
Sirius just shrugs, mouth crammed full of food, and James is already so busy scanning the Slytherin table that he doesn't answer. Peter scowls down at his plate. "Cauldron exploded when I put my lacewings in, and now I have a detention though it wasn't my fault."
"It wasn't?" Remus tries to keep the skepticism out of his voice; he can't understand why Peter insisted on going for a N.E.W.T. in Potions, despite damaging even more cauldrons than Remus over the years.
"No it bloody well wasn't. I *saw* him skulking around my cauldron when I was up getting ingredients. He put something in it, I know he did."
Remus raises an eyebrow and is about to question Peter some more, but James has found Snape, hunched over a book as he takes occasional, inattentive bites of his lunch, and Remus just sighs as James starts to stand, swearing under his breath. "James, don't. Let him be."
"Why should I?" James snaps. His face is flushed indignantly, and Remus bites his tongue to keep from mentioning that James would do no more than a clap on the back and a "tough luck, mate" for Peter, had the accusation been levied against anyone but Snape, or that he knows for a fact that James himself *has* slipped contaminants into Snape's cauldron in the past. "He won't stop if he always gets away with things."
"You don't know for certain he did anything at all, and as long as he's over there reading he's not bothering you. Leave him alone."
"What do you care so much for?"
Sirius, finally finished chewing his latest mouthful, slides his arm around Remus' back, hooking him around the neck and pulling him closer to kiss on the cheek. "Maybe Moony fancies him," he says. His breath is heavy and warm across Remus' face, thick with the scent of garlic.
Remus glares at him and shrugs away, suddenly angry. "You need a mint, and I don't believe I need to fancy anyone in order to tell you you're both being absolute prats." He wants to say more and to have said less all at once; he wants, for the thousandth time, to tell them all that sometimes he feels like he and Snape got opposite ends of the same unfortunate stick, and that the only difference between them is that Remus can take some care to hide his lot in life. Snape can't: it's there, written plain as day across his face, *is* his face.
Remus frowns and looks back down at his essay. There are some things he'll never be able to say, even to Sirius and James. Especially to Sirius and James.
After a long, startled silence, James settles back into his seat. "You can't deny he asks for it, Moony. You know what he said about you and Sirius last week -"
"I also know that what he said is actually true, and you still sent a fake love letter to Bellatrix from him to retaliate."
"-and now he's gone and gotten Peter a detention. Doesn't make sense for you to take his side."
"I'm not taking his side," Remus snaps. "I'm not taking his side, or fancying him, or anything else. I'm simply pointing out that you and Sirius have absolutely no room to talk in the matter of landing people in detention, that Peter has, unless I've miscounted, ruined eight cauldrons this term *alone*, and that perhaps this meal would be more pleasant for everyone if you two would keep quiet and let people get on with it."
Another long silence, and then Sirius laughs and ruffles Remus' hair, smearing another playful kiss on Remus' cheek and intentionally letting out a long, pungent breath before moving away again. "Finish your essay there, Moony. We won't bother Snape."
"Unless he bothers us," James adds firmly.
Remus sighs, and knows that's the best he can hope for.
Author: Molly (irreelle at mac dot com)
Summary: "He wants, for the thousandth time, to tell them all that sometimes he feels like he and Snape got opposite ends of the same unfortunate stick."
Rating: PG
Pairing: The tiniest hint of Remus/Sirius, if you squint hard -- and are kinda drunk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just having fun.
Assigned Author: lionessvalenti (to whom I apologize a whole lot for being a tardy schmuck).
Original drabble:
"Greasy slime." James began to stand.
Remus looked across the room at Snape, who was hunched over a book.
"Why don't you leave him alone?"
"Aww, do you fancy him, Moony?" Sirius asked in a teasing voice. He
wrapped an arm around Remus' neck and kissed his cheek.
"Of course not-"
"He earns it," James said. "Always making fun of you two, and Wormtail
here, when he turned that raccoon into a slug."
"Not always," Remus said.
"Remus," Sirius said, pulling away.
"Look, I don't fancy him, all right?" Remus said sharply to Sirius. He
looked at James. "But there's no reason to bother him when he's reading a
book."
"If he bothers us-" James said.
"I'll never say another word."
"Anything for Moony," Sirius said.
Remus looked at Snape again and sighed.
Remus only starts paying attention to the conversation around him when Peter arrives late for lunch, dropping his bag and muttering, "It was Snape, I know it was." An alarm goes off within Remus' head, and he raises his eyes from the DADA essay he has due directly after lunch and glances around at his friends. "What's happened, then?" he asks cautiously.
Sirius just shrugs, mouth crammed full of food, and James is already so busy scanning the Slytherin table that he doesn't answer. Peter scowls down at his plate. "Cauldron exploded when I put my lacewings in, and now I have a detention though it wasn't my fault."
"It wasn't?" Remus tries to keep the skepticism out of his voice; he can't understand why Peter insisted on going for a N.E.W.T. in Potions, despite damaging even more cauldrons than Remus over the years.
"No it bloody well wasn't. I *saw* him skulking around my cauldron when I was up getting ingredients. He put something in it, I know he did."
Remus raises an eyebrow and is about to question Peter some more, but James has found Snape, hunched over a book as he takes occasional, inattentive bites of his lunch, and Remus just sighs as James starts to stand, swearing under his breath. "James, don't. Let him be."
"Why should I?" James snaps. His face is flushed indignantly, and Remus bites his tongue to keep from mentioning that James would do no more than a clap on the back and a "tough luck, mate" for Peter, had the accusation been levied against anyone but Snape, or that he knows for a fact that James himself *has* slipped contaminants into Snape's cauldron in the past. "He won't stop if he always gets away with things."
"You don't know for certain he did anything at all, and as long as he's over there reading he's not bothering you. Leave him alone."
"What do you care so much for?"
Sirius, finally finished chewing his latest mouthful, slides his arm around Remus' back, hooking him around the neck and pulling him closer to kiss on the cheek. "Maybe Moony fancies him," he says. His breath is heavy and warm across Remus' face, thick with the scent of garlic.
Remus glares at him and shrugs away, suddenly angry. "You need a mint, and I don't believe I need to fancy anyone in order to tell you you're both being absolute prats." He wants to say more and to have said less all at once; he wants, for the thousandth time, to tell them all that sometimes he feels like he and Snape got opposite ends of the same unfortunate stick, and that the only difference between them is that Remus can take some care to hide his lot in life. Snape can't: it's there, written plain as day across his face, *is* his face.
Remus frowns and looks back down at his essay. There are some things he'll never be able to say, even to Sirius and James. Especially to Sirius and James.
After a long, startled silence, James settles back into his seat. "You can't deny he asks for it, Moony. You know what he said about you and Sirius last week -"
"I also know that what he said is actually true, and you still sent a fake love letter to Bellatrix from him to retaliate."
"-and now he's gone and gotten Peter a detention. Doesn't make sense for you to take his side."
"I'm not taking his side," Remus snaps. "I'm not taking his side, or fancying him, or anything else. I'm simply pointing out that you and Sirius have absolutely no room to talk in the matter of landing people in detention, that Peter has, unless I've miscounted, ruined eight cauldrons this term *alone*, and that perhaps this meal would be more pleasant for everyone if you two would keep quiet and let people get on with it."
Another long silence, and then Sirius laughs and ruffles Remus' hair, smearing another playful kiss on Remus' cheek and intentionally letting out a long, pungent breath before moving away again. "Finish your essay there, Moony. We won't bother Snape."
"Unless he bothers us," James adds firmly.
Remus sighs, and knows that's the best he can hope for.