Family Matters (The Behind Blue Eyes Remix)

Aug 09, 2004 10:56

Title: Family Matters (The ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ Remix)
Author: Drea (bluerosefairy)
Summary: She’s sitting in a Muggle café, waiting for a man for whom she would normally never spare a second glance. Because in the end, family is everything to Narcissa Malfoy.
Rating: PG
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Narcissa/Lucius.
Disclaimer: Not JKR, don't own the characters. The Who own the song "Behind Blue Eyes", from which the Funky Remix Subtitle is derived.
Author you were assigned: Runespoor

*********************

Original Drabble - by Runespoor

I received a note. Meeting in a Muggle pub today. From Narcissa Malfoy. God knows how she found me. I've left the wizarding world a year ago. Yet another surreal experience involving a Black. Someone remind me why I came?

"Bellatrix is in Azkaban. She claimed her alliance to the Dark Lord."

Ah. And this concerns me because?

"You could have my support, rather than wasting away amongst Muggles. Distasteful as it is, you're family. I'd do the same for Andromeda's husband."

"Thank you Narcissa. I feel better in the Muggle world." I'm not Sirius'
husband.

"It'd be easier if we didn't love them," she quietly says.

************************



"Is this seat taken?", a voice says from behind her, straining over the din of the crowd.

Truth be told, she's surprised he's even agreed to meet her. They've never been close. Met occasionally at family gatherings, when Sirius could be arsed to show up, and not skulk around in his room and speak only to Andromeda. She remembers him - a strangely centered boy of sixteen who seemed to be the only one her cousin would listen to. The one with the Gallic name and the slight accent to go with it. Remus Lupin.

"Would I have asked you here if it was?", she replies.

Merlin only knows why she's here as well. Certainly no one would think to look for Narcissa Malfoy in a Muggle pub, and it's just down the road from where Remus has been living for the past year. But then again, times have changed. Lucius has been more reserved and wary than usual, and they haven't exactly been what one might call 'appropriate' social guests. Her family is gone too. Andromeda is in Edinburgh with her Muggle husband and daughter, Mother and Father both dead in the war, and Bellatrix - well, Narcissa dislikes thinking about Bellatrix nowadays.

He pulls out the chair, and drops bonelessly into it. "What do you want?"

A loaded question, and one she's not sure she wants to answer. She doubts he wants to hear her personal anxieties about losing everyone she's ever called family. It's probably why she clings so stubbornly to Draco. He's the only member of her family that hasn't betrayed or left her. Narcissa has always put family above everything else, because if you can't count on family - well, who can you count on?

She decides to come right to the point, for once in her life. The Blacks have never been known for their brevity, after all. "Bellatrix is in Azkaban. She claimed her alliance to the Dark Lord."

No one had been surprised at the complete insanity in Bella's gesture. Sanity was never high on the list of Black attributes either. Ambition was, however, along with near-fanatical devotion to certain causes. Sirius had Dumbledore, Bella had the Dark Lord, and Andromeda and Narcissa had their families.

"Ah. And this concerns me because?" He picks at the ink-stained cuffs to his shirt - patched, like the rest of his clothing, because even in the Muggle world, he doesn't have much money - and refuses to look at her. She has a good idea why.

His tone indicates boredom and indifference to her statement, but she would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to miss the pain lying underneath the surface. Azkaban is an exceedingly sore subject for him, even more so than the death of the Potters. With Lily and James' deaths, he lost friends. But Narcissa knows as well as he does that Sirius' incarceration was Remus' loss of something beyond friendship, beyond family.

"One could say we're in a similar situation. Both of us lost family to that place, and I thought you might want to talk."

What she doesn't say is how she found out about their relationship. It's hard to miss two teenage boys snogging in a pantry, but everyone except Narcissa did that Christmas. She didn't mean to spy on them, but something wouldn't let her stop looking at them. Maybe it was the fact that her cousin, the heartthrob of Gryffindor and subject of countless female crushes, was kissing another boy. Maybe it was the taboo aspect of it - not that she hadn't seen worse over the years. Or maybe - just maybe - it was the unmistakable love they had for each other. It was never spoken aloud, but anyone who paid attention knew it was there, and Narcissa had most definitely paid attention.

Remus' glare pierces her straight to the core, and she nearly shivers under the intensity. "You know nothing of your cousin, and you know nothing of me."

Narcissa actually knows quite a bit about them, but isn't about to volunteer the information right now. Besides, Remus is downright unnerving her with his stare. "Have it your way, but stop staring at me like that. People will think you're about to attack me."

"I apologize, but I would be much obliged if you would refrain from mentioning your cousin right now."

His polite words conceal the fact that even seeing her reminds him of Sirius. She knows that Remus sees her cousin everywhere he looks, even after an entire year. And while she might not be as evocative of his side of the family as Bella and Andromeda, she and Sirius both have the same blue eyes, and Remus knows it. It's why he hasn't looked her in the eye since he sat down, why he avoids seeing her from certain angles. Just another reason for him to hate her, as he has every right to.

"Ignoring Sirius won't make him go away, Remus. Trust me, I've spent the better part of two decades trying just that.", Narcissa says, folding her hands on the table and remembering various times that her annoying little cousin was determined to poke his nose in where he wasn't wanted.

Remus' gaze softens, and the barest hint of a smile crosses his face. "No, it won't." He laughs softly at the memory, and Narcissa realizes that she likes him better when he is laughing. "In fact, it only makes him more determined."

She didn't think they were talking about the memory of Sirius anymore. But she decides to throw caution to the wind, and bring up exactly why she wanted to meet with him, though it meant revealing her source of information regarding his location - another family connection of Narcissa’s that was rarely spoken of.

"Minerva tells me you're still looking for employment.", she says. "It's hard to believe that you can't find work even amongst the Muggles." Rather than snap at her, like she expects him to, he sighs deeply and crosses his arms over his chest, plainly revealing a small crescent moon and runic symbol tattooed onto the underside of his left wrist. She is slowly realizing what his blatant revelation is, the pieces falling into place. "You're-"

"A werewolf. Yes, I'm registered with the Ministry. No, the Muggles don't know, and I don't plan on telling them. Regardless, it's impossible to find an employer that will let you miss three days every month without knowing the reason why."

Narcissa can't do anything but stare at him. What was he doing living amongst Muggles? They would be walking meals for him during the full moon, and here he was, living as one. And how had he been accepted to Hogwarts without Dumbledore finding out? Had he known, and covered it up? Did Remus spend the full moon somewhere else? Had Sirius known? And still pursued a relationship with him?

She finally finds her voice. "You're lucky we're in a public place."

He raises an eyebrow. "Why? Would you be attempting to kill me if we weren't?"

"No.", she says. "I would be asking you a good deal of questions in a very loud voice."

"I didn't know you could raise your voice, Narcissa. Doesn't Lucius just Silencio you most of the time?"

She glares at him, returning his anger from earlier, and her eyes blaze a blue fire that not many people have seen. "You have no idea what my husband is like, so refrain from speaking about him, werewolf."

If Remus was hurt by her remark, he didn't show it. Rather, he seems amused at her outburst. "So now it's 'werewolf', Narcissa? What happened to 'Remus', or does my status as a dangerous creature cancel out our previous communication?"

He has a point, but all her life, she'd been taught that werewolves were beasts incapable of human relationships, feelings, and interaction. Twenty-seven years of lessons were being hexed straight to hell by Remus Lupin, and she has no idea what to do about it.

She hadn't replied to his previous question, but he apparently doesn't care, because he continues speaking. "Well, does it?"

Narcissa replies to him hesitantly, as if the power of her voice could be heard across the miles by her husband. What she is going to say is most definitely not worthy of a Malfoy. "You could come back with me." He turns his head sharply to look at her in confusion. "I know people in just about every branch of the Ministry. You could get a job . . . or there is another option."

"And that would be?", he says, in slight amusement.

"You could have my support, rather than wasting away amongst Muggles.", she says, with a glance around the pub they’re sitting in. "Distasteful as it is, you're family. I'd do the same for Andromeda's husband."

And she would, too. As much as she resents Andromeda for running off to Scotland and having a family of her own, if her sister had passed away, she would have extended the same support to Ted. Yes, Lucius would have gone off on her for helping a Muggle, but even he understood Familias Conferlatum, or "family responsibility". In pureblooded families, when one half of a married pair died, the rest of the family was obligated to support the remaining person. No conditions, strings, or provisions were attached. All they, and Remus, had to do was accept the offer.

His jaw tightens, but he replies in a perfectly normal voice. "Thank you, Narcissa, but I feel better in the Muggle world."

"You 'feel better' living amongst slovenly, uncouth, and dim-witted excuses for human beings?", she spits out unthinkingly.

"And that is why I live as a Muggle. To get away from closed-minded bigotry like that."

Narcissa is taken aback. Sirius used to say the exact same thing during rows with Aunt Lyra, and it makes a strange sort of sense that Remus sounds so much like her cousin. For as much as Narcissa reminds Remus of Sirius, Remus is reminiscent of her cousin as well. The little unconscious habits he has picked up from Sirius over the years - the twisting of a faded gold ring around his index finger, the way he taps his foot against the table leg in impatience - all of them bespeak a connection Narcissa wishes she could have had with someone.

"I suppose you're right.", she says quietly, for the sake of compromise.

He sees right through her agreement, and pushes a lock of hair out of those distracting amber eyes of his in irritation. "Narcissa, thank you for the offer, but I'm fine. You did your good deed for the year by offering."

It is Narcissa’s turn to see right through him. She knows the real reason he refuses to take her help, and it has everything to do with his pride. Remus has always been a proud man, and he would never accept help unless he had no other choice. He is choosing to live as a Muggle rather than accept her charity, and she cannot help but admire him for it. The other reason he turned her down is most likely having to do with Sirius, and she has a good guess what it is.

“I’m not completely ignorant to what you’re going through, you know. Bella was my sister, my baby sister, and now I’m never going to see her again.”

She hasn’t spoken of this to anyone, even Lucius, but she knows that he will understand. He may not like it, but he will understand. He doesn’t disappoint, as he replies in a soft tone. “I didn’t know you two were that close.”

“Andromeda was always the odd one out. She always did her own thing. Bella and I had each other.” Narcissa tucks a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, the trait that makes her the white sheep of the Blacks. She looks nothing like the rest of the family, except for her blue eyes. “I - was lost when she got arrested. Then she wouldn’t shut up about the Dark Lord in front of the Wizengamot and I knew they’d never let her out of Azkaban. And all I could think was that it was my fault. I didn’t take good enough care of her.”

He is staring at her, like he’s seeing her for the first time - and, well, maybe he is. She figures the only things he knows about their family is what Sirius has told him, and the short impression over his sixth-year Christmas holidays. He has probably never considered that the other Black sisters were as conflicted over their heritage and beliefs as Andromeda and Sirius were. They were just quieter about it, and came to different conclusions.

He shakes his head in response to her last statement. “You can’t believe that. Bella is her own person. You cannot live her life for her, or blame yourself for what she has done with her life.”

Narcissa smiles sadly. “Like you blame yourself for what Sirius did?”

Remus opens his mouth to reply, then thinks for a moment. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re extremely perceptive?”, he asks.

“As a matter of fact, I hear it once a day.”

“Well, you should keep it up. Si- your cousin always said it was the one thing he really liked about you.”

Narcissa gets to her feet, and removes the Muggle coat she has placed there. She shrugs into it, and as Remus gets to his feet to usher her out, she leans close to whisper in his ear.

“It’d be easier if we didn’t love them, wouldn’t it?”, she says quietly, distracting him from the wand in her other hand.

Her surreptitious charm hits him square in the back, though he doesn’t notice. He nods wordlessly to her statement, and bows slightly as she takes her leave of both him and the Muggle world. She Apparates back to Malfoy Manor, humming slightly to herself, and imagining what Remus’ face will look like when he returns to his home to find the gift she left for him.

The Bipennis Gladius charm was a specialty of the Black family, and a source of their rather considerable wealth. Like everything about the family, it was both a blessing and a curse, but depended mainly on the caster’s intent and the recipient’s reaction. The upside was that, thanks to her incantation, the little Muggle money Remus had would never run out as long as he lived. He would always find a twenty-pound note tucked away somewhere whenever he had need of it.

The drawback was that it could not be spent frivolously, but only on something he truly needed. It would work on food, clothing, and shelter, but nothing else. She had amended it to include books, after recalling him wishing to receive nothing but books from his friends that Christmas. She figured she owed him that much, at least, to make up for what her husband and the other followers of the Dark Lord had done to him. Despite his status as a werewolf, and a half-blood, she had a rather strange liking for the man. She hoped that he would find some peace over the years, and have a family of his own to take care of, as she cared for hers.

Because to Narcissa Malfoy, family was everything - even when it included traitors, nutcases, murderers, and the occasional sensible educator. It made reunions eminently more interesting.
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