Simply Is
Author: occasusvenustas
Title: Simply Is
Rating: R or NC-17 (still confused by ratings)
Summary: Remus is the blind French professor teaching Religions at Hogwarts University. Draco, his new student, sets out to seduce him.
Category/Warnings:Romance/Fluff/A/U non-magic
A/N: Ficlet, contains my obnoxious obsession with Is-ness and me pimping the Tao Te Ching. *wink*
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The corridors were crowded with people. The first day of term always brought with it, the brand new students, who looked lost and apprehensive, and the seasoned ones, who walked around like bloody great ponces, acting as if they owned the world.
A strange sort of trio made their way up the winding staircase of Hogwarts University towards their first class of the day. The two in front, a young woman of about twenty-four with bushy, brown hair and a man of the same age with messy black locks and startling green eyes, were staring at their timetables, a bit confused.
The slightly younger man in the back followed a few paces behind them, his pointed face looking slightly bored, his grey eyes red and sleepy from the early hour.
"You two figured it out yet?" the blonde drawled as they reached the top of the stairs.
The woman turned and rolled her eyes. "Honestly Draco, you were the one who had classes in this wing last term, you should know where the damned room is."
"Hermione, it's not worth it. You and I both know his brain won't function at this hour."
"Not our faults," Hermione declared, crossing her arms. "He's the one who signed up for this course."
"Harry," Draco whinged, "just find the damned door."
Rolling his eyes, the raven haired man disappeared round a corner and a triumphant cry alerted the other two that Harry had indeed found the proper classroom. It was hidden away down a dimly lit corridor, and quite impossible to find, as the number was the same colour as the walls.
"This is stupid," Draco snarked as he brushed past his companions. Walking into the smallish classroom, Draco took a seat towards the back, tossing his bag down beside his chair. Hermione and Harry both shared a knowing look before taking the seats in front of him and together they began to pull out their books.
"So Harry... any word on Prof Snape?" Hermione asked, her tone slightly insinuating.
Harry flushed deeply. He'd had a course with the snarky, angry art professor the term before, and after-class tutoring nearly turned into something more. Unfortunately, Snape's fear of getting sacked far eclipsed his desire for Harry, and he forced their relationship to a stand-still. Well, that is, until he was no longer Harry's professor.
"He sent me an email last week, but unfortunately I've been too busy to see him," Harry confessed with a shy smile.
"You're such a git, Potter. How d'you ever expect to bang him when you never see him," Draco snarked sleepily, ignoring Harry's insults. With a loud yawn, Draco put his head down on his arms and closed his eyes. "We're early, like we always are," Draco said irritably. "How long before class starts?"
Hemione rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. "Class starts at seven-ten, it's six fifty now, so I reckon you have time for a short kip before the professor arrives."
Draco gave another loud yawn and snuggled back down into his arms as Harry and Hermione continued their conversation. A few more students filtered into the class and a bit of loud chatter broke out.
As the time for class to begin drew nearer, the students kept looking towards the door expectantly. No one knew what this course was going to be like, it was newly added to the University and the professor was new as well.
At exactly seven-ten, the door opened and a podgy, pug-faced blonde girl sauntered in and frantically began re-arranging things. "Must have it all perfect, you know," she muttered to the students closest to her. "Had it all set up yesterday, don't know who was in here, making such a mess."
At the chatter, Draco opened his eyes and smirked. The girl cleaning up was Pansy Parkinson, and she'd followed Draco round like a lost puppy, begging for his affections. Unfortunately for her, Draco didn't swing that way.
"What are you doing?" Draco demanded loudly.
At the sound of Draco's voice, Pansy whirled round and gave a startled smile. "Oh... Draco, I didn't see you there."
"Right," Draco said with a quirked eyebrow. "Why are you acting like you've gone mad?"
"I'm just making sure everything is perfect for Prof Lupin. He's got to have everything right, you know. He uses the projector a lot as well, so you would do well to copy everything from there."
Draco frowned and looked at Harry. "What's she on about? Is he some kind of perfection nazi?"
Harry gave a half-shrug and turned back towards Pansy who was now moving a large chair out of the way. After switching the rolling table with the desk, Pansy headed back for the door. "All right, you lot, Prof Lupin should be here in a few minutes. Good luck." With that, she smiled at Draco and walked out.
"What the hell?" Draco wondered. "He must be a bastard."
"I can't believe she's his new assistant," Hermione said with a huff. "I applied for that post when I saw it advertised online. No wonder she's stopped following Draco round during the hols."
Draco shrugged indifferently. "I was happy about it, she was dead annoying." Pulling out his notebook and pencil, Draco began absently sketching. When the door opened a few moments later, he didn't look up.
A tall, tawny haired man with a kind face stepped in, accompanied by a large, black dog on a strange sort of harness. "Good morning class," he said in a very quite voice. "Sorry I was tardy. First day madness and all that." His voice carried an air of strength, despite his quiet tone and it was also thickly accented. French, by the sound.
When Draco heard the accent, having a fetish for those sorts of things, his eyes snapped up and immediately fell on the dog. "What?" he whispered softly.
The new professor chuckled as his dog began to sniff round the front row students' bags and feet. "Now, now Padfoot, no saying hello just yet." The dog quickly obeyed and plopped down at the professor's feet.
Draco leant forward, trying to get a better view of the man from his back seat and noticed something strange. Lupin's eyes seemed to have no muscle control and lolled about in his head, often rolling back so far only the whites showed. Then the harness on the dog made sense. Professor Lupin was blind.
"My name is Professor Remus Lupin, and feel free to call me Remus," the man began in his soft voice. "This is my first year teaching at this University, though I have been teaching for several years. I prefer this class for many reasons. One, being that I enjoy lecturing on the many religions of the world, and two, most who take this course are seasoned students and know what's to be expected of you in the way of behaviour and coursework."
As Draco listened to the man speak, he found himself captivated by the accent as well as Lupin's youthful, and quite frankly, beautiful face. As Lupin continued his introduction, he paced in front of the small desk, his hand every so often reaching out to keep himself oriented. The dog continued to lie on the floor, passive and un-needed, content to sleep the class away.
After speaking, Lupin placed a brown satchel atop the desk and pulled out a large binder full of thick paper. Opening it up, he pulled out several print-outs that were stapled together. "I want to make this course as easy as possible for all of us. I'd like you to get something out of it, and I'd like to get something out of it. I took the liberty of outlining everything for you, so if someone would be kind enough to hand these out..."
Hermione was instantly on her feet and took the stack. Passing one to each student, she returned the rest to Lupin. "Four left, sir," she said kindly.
"Thank you Miss... " Lupin said as he took the rest back.
"Granger. Er... Hermione Granger."
"Well, thank you Miss Granger," he said with a grin and Draco glowered.
"Kissing his arse already," he sneered.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Jealous?"
"Hardly," Draco hissed, but he was.
"Belt up," Harry whispered as Lupin continued on the lecture.
Draco rolled his eyes, but closed his mouth in favour of listening to the delicious accent. By the time class was over, he had decided on a new mission. Seduce his professor. If Harry could do it, why couldn't he.
"You have that look, Draco," Harry said as they began to gather their things. "What are you thinking... or do I want to know?"
Draco gave Harry a crooked grin and shrugged. "Oh it's nothing important. Catch me up in a moment, I need to ask Remus something."
Harry's eyes widened. "Oh no, no Draco, don't you dare. He's a sweet man, leave him be."
Draco placed his palms flat on the desk and leant in towards Harry. "Potter, why is it so wrong for me to do this when you did the same to Snape?"
Harry flushed. "I didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of... happened. And Snape could've gotten sacked for it, just like Lupin can if you're not careful."
"I'm always careful," Draco said determinedly. "Now off you get, whilst I have a word with him."
Knowing there wasn't anything to do to stop Draco once he was on a mission, Harry ushered himself and Hermione out of the class. Draco gathered his things up slowly and approached the desk where Remus was now sitting, his fingers scanning a large sheet of Braille.
"Your dog's adorable," Draco said softly.
Remus turned his face up towards Draco, his eyes looking sharply to the left, and he smiled. "Thank you, he's quite arrogant at times and I'm sure he appreciates the compliments."
Draco chuckled. "Is he quite temperamental? I heard guide dogs had to be of a certian sort."
"They do," Remus agreed, leaning his elbow on the desk. "This little sod barely passed his training, but I rather enjoy his attitude. It could be because I have a bit of one myself." Remus dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You see, neither of us like taking direction from others."
Draco giggled loudly and shook his head. "Well I think your course might be more fun than I originally thought."
"You don't fancy religions, then?" Remus asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"Not really, but to tell the truth, I've never given it much thought. My friends bullied me into taking a class with them, so I chose this. And I'm not exactly a morning person, either."
"Ah," Remus said with a grin, "nor am I, really. I have to drink at least three cups of strong coffee before I'm close to ready for a lecture."
Draco flushed at the accent, suddenly grateful that the other man couldn't see him. "Actually I had a purpose of approaching you, sir."
"Call me Remus, please. I don't much fancy formalities... I mean, we're all adults here."
"Or so we like to pretend," Draco joked and Remus chuckled. "Alright then, Remus. You see, I really don't know anything about religions and I'm afraid I might be a bit lost, and I really covet my grades. I was hoping that... well if you had time... you might be able to tutor me if I fall too far behind."
Remus frowned slightly. "Well I do have an assistant..."
"No," Draco said hurriedly. "I already know your assistant and we have a bit of... erm... personal conflict."
"Might I ask what that is?" Remus inquired, humour colouring his voice.
"She er... fancies me, has for some time, but I don't... fancy her back," Draco said lamely.
"Not a looker then, is she?" Remus joked.
Draco flushed. "It's not that.. I just don't swing her way."
Remus paled just slightly and his sightless eyes widened. "Oh. Well, that makes sense then."
"She knows it, but she won't listen," Draco insisted, desperate for Remus to agree to the tutoring. "I'll bribe you... coffee every morning," he added lightly.
Remus laughed loudly this time and stuck out his hand. "Then you have a deal Mr... er... "
"Malfoy, but call me Draco."
Remus smiled. "Draco... dragon?"
Draco flushed and rolled his eyes. "You can thank my parents, out of their damn minds when I was born."
"Draco then, and I will expect to hear from you the moment you feel that you're not understanding the material."
Draco grinned triumphantly. "You will, I promise," and with a bounce in his step, Draco exited the classroom.
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Harry, Draco, Hermione and her boyfriend Ron, all sat round the table at Harry and Draco's flat. The four of them were enjoying a huge meal of curried chicken, couscous, phyllo wrapped spinach, and seared peppers, and talking about their first day.
Well, they had been, but the conversation had turned to Draco's new mission. "I can't believe you're going through with this," Hermione said exasperatedly. "The man's nice and... he's so unsuspecting."
"And fucking beautiful," Draco said through a mouthful of chicken. "Did you hear his accent? Fucking... orgasmic is what it was!"
Ron covered his ears. "Honestly Draco, I don't need to hear about your twisted fetishes."
Draco grinned. "Believe me Weasel, those aren't close to my version of twisted."
"He's right," Harry said solemnly, "and if you treasure your sanity at all, don't ask."
Ron paled and looked at Hermione who shrugged and nodded. With a sigh, she continued to badger him, "I just don't think this is right, Draco. The poor man's blind for God's sake!"
"So?" Draco said. "What's that got to do with it?"
"It's... I mean... it's just... " Hermione floundered.
Harry sighed. "He's nice, Draco, so I hope you don't intend to see this as one of your happy little one-off's. He really doesn't strike me as the type to go for that sort of thing, and you shouldn't trick him into it."
Draco looked offended and crossed his arms. "You lot have no faith in me!"
"You've never given us proper reason to have any," Hermione countered.
"I'm nice... when there's good reason, and Remus is very good reason. I don't want a one-off with him."
"You promise?" Harry demanded.
Draco quirked an eyebrow, "Why's this so damned important to you, Potter?"
Harry shrugged and sighed. "I don't know," he confessed, "Prof Lupin just... just seems like a good sort who's had rotten luck."
Draco let a small smile grace his slightly pointed face. "Alright then, Potter, I promise."
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True to his word, Draco rose quite early the next day, and without waiting for Hermione or Harry, popped to the café for two coffees. Carrying them carefully, Draco made his way through the slightly emptied halls and towards Lupin's office.
The door was closed but a light was on so Draco attempted to knock with his foot. "Come in," Remus called after a moment.
"Er, my hands are a bit full," Draco called back and a moment later, the door was opened.
Expecting to be met by Lupin, Draco was unpleasantly surprised when he came face-to-face with Pansy. "Oh," he sneered.
"What are you doing here, Draco?" Pansy demanded.
Rolling his eyes, Draco pushed past the blonde and walked into the office where Lupin was seated behind his large writing desk. "I'm keeping my promise and I've brought Remus a coffee," Draco said with a grin. Moving towards the professor, Draco set the coffee down in front of the older man. "Bit hot, and I've added cream and sugar."
Remus smiled and felt along his desk until he came in contact with the cup. Taking a delicate sip, he leant back in his chair and smiled. "C'est parfait, merci Draco."
Draco flushed and nodded. "You're welcome."
"I confess I didn't expect the coffee today," Remus said after a long drink. "I'm not tutoring you yet."
Pansy's jaw dropped. "You're tutoring Draco?" she demanded.
"Should he need it, yes," Remus said with a soft smile.
"I thought I was to take over any tutoring," she whinged.
Remus smiled pleasantly and shrugged. "I've taken special interest in this case... hopeless as it may be," he teased.
"Oy!" Draco said, but smiled in spite of the joshing.
"We've not yet begun the course though, Draco," Remus said after a moment.
"I promised coffee every morning," Draco said, sticking his nose in the air, "and I always keep to my promises."
"That, Mr Malfoy, is something I rarely see, and very much commend you on," Remus said very seriously, and the very sound of his voice made Draco's heart flutter.
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After the initial coffee, it became a routine for the pair, Draco supplying them with their caffeine addiction, Remus supplying the wit and the excuses to keep Pansy away. Draco was falling hard, though he was doing remarkably well in the class, and Remus... seemed to be developing feelings as well.
As the class neared the end of term, the class focused on Taoism... which confused the hell out of Draco. By the end of the second lecture he was so lost that he was certain he was going to fail, even with Remus guiding him.
Pausing after class, Draco waited until the last student had filed out before approaching Remus. "I hate this," he said, leaning his head down on Remus' desk. "I'm never going to understand it."
Remus chuckled. "Why don't you stop by my office tomorrow, it's Saturday so I won't be having office hours. I've got a few things to tidy up in there and Pansy will be blessedly absent. Think carefully about what's confusing you and we can discuss it."
"Alright," Draco groaned as he straightened up. "What time?"
"Say round noon, we can even have a bit of something to eat, if you're peckish."
"I'm sure will be," Draco said with a laugh, "and since you're providing the extra lesson, why don't I provide the food. D'you fancy Indian?"
"Anything is fine with me, Draco. Au demain."
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Draco was just finishing up readying himself for his session with Lupin when a sharp knock sounded at the door. Harry was off on a weekend date with Snape, so Draco reluctantly padded to the door.
To say he was surprised would be an understatement when the blonde found his family's butler, Dobby, standing before him. "Master Malfoy, your father is waiting downstairs and wishes to have a lunch with you."
Draco's shock turned into anger and his grey eyes narrowed. "You can tell father that I've plans this afternoon, and if he wishes to have lunch with me, he should ring me first."
Dobby sighed, his eyes pleading with Draco. "Master Malfoy, your father is insistent that you dine with him, and I think it best you do."
Knowing his father, Draco sighed and rolled his eyes. "Tell him I'll be right down," and with that, he slammed the door. "Shit," he cursed loudly, as he reached for his mobile. Dialling Remus' office, Draco groaned when he was put straight through to his voice mail. "Remus, this is Draco. I'm so sorry to do this but my father ," he said, sneering the word, "has demanded my time and unfortunately I can't disagree with him. I will be by as soon as I can and I hope to catch you. Sorry for this." Ringing off, Draco shoved his mobile into his pocket and stormed down to his father's car.
Climbing in next to the older, elegant man, Draco fixed him with a glare. "So you don't see fit to ring me when you want to drop in?" Draco demanded.
"Now now, Draco," Lucius said arrogantly, "no need for such attitude. What's the harm in wanting to see my son for the day."
"The day?" Draco exclaimed. "Father, I have plans."
"Yes," Lucius drawled with a smirk, "with me. We're meeting some of my associates and I want you to be on your best behaviour."
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By the time Draco was able to get away from his father, it was well past six. Furious with the man, Draco refused to say goodbye and he stormed up to his flat where he was finally able to check his messages. There was one, and it was from Remus.
"Draco, so sorry to have missed you, but hanging round my office all day is a bit boring. I'm at my flat now and if you'd like to ring me, please do." Remus left his number and, not thinking straight, Draco dialled it.
After a few rings, a voice picked up. "Hello?"
"Remus," Draco said, suddenly flustered to be ringing his Remus on the man's personal line, "er, it's Draco. I've only just got home."
Remus chuckled. "Sounds like you've had a rough day?"
"Words can't describe it," Draco said with a huff. "I'm completely vexed that I missed the lesson, I really am lost on that Taoism rubbish."
"It isn't rubbish, and it isn't hard," Remus said gently. "I'm fixing a spot of dinner right now, why don't you come to my flat and we can go over your lessons after the meal."
Draco blushed furiously. "A-at your flat?" he stammered.
Remus was silent for a long moment. "That was forward of me Draco, Je suis désolé."
"No!" Draco said almost desperately, "It's fine, really. I'll be happy to dine with you. I'm just... just flustered from my father and whatnot."
Remus laughed just a little and quickly gave Draco his address. "See you soon?"
"I'll be right over," Draco promised. Ringing off, Draco grabbed his bag and dashed out the door. Racing to his car, he jumped in and was soon speeding down the street towards Remus' flat. He found a close place to park, and feeling intensely nervous, Draco headed up to the second floor where Remus lived.
The hall was dimly lit and the building was a bit old. He doubted many people actually lived there, and normally Draco would have been quite put off by the shabby place, but when it came to Remus, he found he didn't care.
Pausing at the door, Draco reached up a shaking fist and knocked. He waited a few moments, and then the door opened. Remus greeted Draco, wearing a black t-shirt and loose, black flannel bottoms. His feet were bare and he looked so much more normal than he did in his regular teaching suit.
"Remus," Draco greeted a little shyly.
Remus smiled and quickly showed Draco inside. "Bienvenu, Draco," he said softly as they stepped into the lounge. "It's quite small and I will have to ask you not to move anything if you can help it."
"I'll try," Draco said, feeling a bit of his confidence returning, "though it might be funny to watch you put your fag out on a book."
Remus chuckled and shook his head. "You're impossible."
"So I've been told," the blonde responded happily. His head was reeling at the casualness of their conversation and at the intimacy of being in Remus' flat, and he was nearly overwhelmed. "What are you cooking?" he asked after a tense moment, "It smells wonderful."
"Just a bit of fish and some vegetables. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," Draco answered, shifting uncomfortably.
Remus seemed to sense Draco's discomfort and quickly took him into the kitchen. "It should be ready soon, can I offer you a drink?"
"Sure, wine if you have it."
"I'm a Frenchmen," Remus said as he pulled two glasses from the cabinet. "I always have wine." He measured out the liquid with his finger, and handed a glass to Draco. Taking a small sip, Draco started when the black dog came dashing into the kitchen. The animal rushed up to Draco, sniffing him intently before plopping down on his feet.
Remus chuckled as he bent over the cooker to check the potatoes. "Sorry about him, he's a bit enthusiastic when guests are here and he's not on duty."
"On duty?" Draco asked with a frown.
"Yes, he's on duty when he has his harness on. When I take it off, he's aloud to be a regular dog... well sort of."
Draco nodded in understanding and knelt down to pet Padfoot between the ears. "He really is beautiful."
"And he knows it," Remus said with a smile. Grabbing two plates, the older man began to dish out the food before placing them on the table. "I hope you're hungry," he said as they took their seats.
"Looks delicious," was all the blonde said before the two of them tucked into the meal. Once the food was consumed, along with a few glasses of wine, Remus fixed a pot of chocolate and retired them into the lounge where they sat on the sofa.
Draco, feeling exceedingly nervous about being in close company with Remus in the man's flat, spoke very little. He accepted the cup of chocolate and sat in silence until Remus spoke.
"So Draco, shall we get to your questions."
"Er... uhm.. right," Draco floundered. Flushing, he stood up and fetched his bag, pulling out his notes. Sitting back down next to Remus, he noticed that the older man had gotten a book printed in Braille.
"The Tao really is easy to understand," Remus said softly, "if you take it for what it is."
Draco nearly groaned. "And what is that?"
Remus chuckled. "Excatly that, Draco. The Tao simply is. Once we get rid of words like good and bad, we are left with is-ness. The Tao simply is, and we must see it as such."
Draco rolled his eyes and this time did groan. "Nope, nothing."
Remus smiled gently and opened the book. Fingering the bumps, he paused on a page and turned his face towards Draco. "Let me read you this passage from the Tao Te Ching, it's one of my favourites and it's quite popular."
"Okay," Draco said, trying not to sound lost or bored, though he was.
Remus' fingers scanned the page and his accented voice flooded Draco's senses. "The wise student hears of the Tao and practises it diligently. The average student hears of the Tao and gives it thought now and again. The foolish student hears of the Tao and laughs aloud. If there were no laughter, the Tao would not be what it is." Remus paused. "That small passage just shows that the Tao is nothing more than the Tao. It is to be revered, thought on and laughed at. It simply... is."
Draco blinked when Remus stopped speaking and he sighed. "It still makes no sense to me." He fully expected his professor, the man who had devoted his life to the study of religions, to be disappointed in him, or perhaps dislike him a little for it.
But instead, Remus merely reached over and gave Draco's knee a small pat. "Not understanding the Tao is also part of it. I don't expect you to study it as I have, nor do I expect you to understand what any of it means. All I ask is that you give it your best effort."
"I know all of this... stuff... is important to you..." Draco said lamely.
"Personally, yes, but knowing the effort you've made to understand it is reward enough," Remus insisted. He set the book down and turned bodily toward the blonde.
"So... there isn't much you can tell me to make me understand it, is there?"
"I don't think there is," Remus confirmed with a nod. "I will, of course, expect you to get what you can from the lecture, but apart from that, I'm not displeased."
A small smile played at the corner of Draco's mouth and he leant back slightly. Sipping on his chocolate, his eyes trailed to Remus' fingers and he wondered what it would be like to 'see' everything that way. "Remus," he said before he lost the courage, "is being blind uhm... difficult."
"Not for me," Remus said casually. "I've been this way since I was a baby."
"So reading Braille isn't hard?"
"It's just reading to me," Remus answered with a shrug. "I suppose it might be difficult for you to learn, but if you needed to, you could do it."
Draco sighed and looked down into his cup. "You know... I never thought I'd enjoy a class without enjoying the coursework and lectures."
"Are you saying my lectures are boring?" Remus teased.
"No!" Draco defended before he realised Remus had been joking. Flushing appropriately, he gave a small chuckle. "Really though, your company is very pleasant."
"As is yours," Remus replied softly.
"Er..." Draco chanced, unsure how to make his intentions clear whilst still giving Remus room to decline without embarrassment, "my flatmate Harry, he's dating Prof Snape. You know him?"
Remus nodded a little solemnly. "I do," he said, a hint of surprise colouring his tone. "Severus has a long history with Harry's father. I'm surprised to hear they have a relationship."
"Harry and Snape worked that out last term... during a few tutoring sessions."
Remus chuckled at the implications. "Well that's one way to deal with a problem."
"How'd you know about all of that, anyway?" Draco inquired. "I thought you were new here."
"I attended Hogwarts University and unfortunately I was... present during the incident," Remus said, regret heavy in his words.
Mission momentarily eclipsed by curiosity, Draco moved closer to Remus. "Harry never told me what his father did to Snape. But you know."
"I'm not sure it's my place to give such information," Remus said slowly.
"Please," Draco begged, now moving so close that their shoulders touched. "I promise I won't tell a soul."
Remus chewed on his lower lip to try and suppress the grin but failed. "Alright, but you must swear to secrecy."
"I swear," Draco said hurriedly.
"It was our third year here and I'd made fast friends with Sirius Black and James Potter," Remus began in a low voice. "Severus was also in our dormitory and he was never friendly with the other students. James and Sirius had made it their mission in life to torment the poor sod for his entire stay, but I had seen Severus'... friendlier side," he said with a small shrug. "Severus wasn't so bad, actually, once you got round his snark, and I developed a bit of a... a crush on him."
At these words, Draco was both elated and depressed. It meant Remus fancied blokes, but it also meant he could still possibly harbour feelings for Snape. "Go on," Draco said gently.
"Well, James and Sirius were never open-minded about such things, so I never told them, but they somehow knew Severus swung that way and they were determined to out him. Mind, I didn't know this at the time, and it all became clear after the incident. Their plan was to get him pissed and catch him in the act with another boy. Unfortunately, I happened to be the unlucky boy who'd had too much to drink. I confessed my feelings to Severus, and before I knew it, we were snogging on the sofa in the commons. James and Sirius both thought I was helping them in their plan and quickly roused the entire building, telling everyone with in hearing range that Severus had gotten me drunk and seduced me whilst I was unconscious. Completely untrue, but Severus never believed me. He was ostracised for the rest of his stay there, and because of how everyone reacted to his outing, I never revealed my sexuality."
Draco, who had been listening with rapt attention, let out a slow breath. "Bloody hell," was all he could manage.
"Indeed, and whilst Severus and I have somewhat moved on from it, I'm not sure that he will every fully believe that I had no part in their cruelty. Believe me, I've had my share of bullying and I wasn't about to bring it upon another poor soul."
Draco flushed, having once been a nasty bully himself, and moved away just slightly.
"Have I said something?" Remus asked, feeling Draco pull away.
"It's just... I used to be that kind of person. Potter and I... we hated each other, did all sorts of horrid things, but we worked it out."
"How so?" Remus asked, crossing his arms casually.
Draco laughed. "Over several pints and a couple of swinging fists. We woke up with the worst hangovers and sporting black eyes. We decided it wasn't worth the pain and before we knew it, we were flatmates."
Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Wish it had been that simple for me back then."
"Do you still... er... wish that you and he could... " Draco stuttered, feeling stupid for asking such a thing.
"No," Remus said gently. "It was a silly crush and it was a very long time ago."
Draco nodded and sheepishly watched Remus' eyes which were still, but staring very sharply to the right. He felt strange about liking it, but he did. "You don't find it... well... wrong that he and Harry are together, even though they were student and teacher. And the, you know, age difference?"
"Of course not," Remus said firmly. "I understand the problems it could cause whilst they were still student and teacher, but we all are adults, for the most part. I see no problems with adults acting as such outside the classroom."
Draco felt a wave of desire hit him and he shifted to accommodate his now hardened cock. "That's good," he said.
Remus quirked an eyebrow in his direction and he gave Draco a half-smile. "Is it? Someone you have your eye on, Draco?" The tone was incredibly suggestive and Draco nearly swooned. He had fantasised about Remus fancying him back, but the older man had never given much indication of it being true.
"Would you be mortified if I told you yes?" Draco all but whispered.
"Why should I be mortified... unless it includes me," Remus said gently.
Biting back his nervousness, Draco reached out and took Remus' very soft hand in his. "It does," he said so softly Remus almost didn't hear him.
The older man froze for a moment, his movements and breathing stilled. Eventually, he returned the grip on Draco's hand and let out a slow breath. "Is that the purpose of the tutoring?" he asked softly.
Draco blinked, embarrassed. "Er... in the beginning yes, though I really didn't understand the whole Taoism thing."
Remus allowed a nervous sort of laugh. "I'm not sure whether to be flattered or wary," he confessed.
Draco felt suddenly desperate and he moved as close to Remus as he could manage. "You don't want this?" he asked, fearing rejection.
"I didn't say that," Remus said very quietly. "I just..."
"Had you thought about it?" Draco demanded.
"I had," Remus confessed. "But I never thought you would reciprocate any sort of feeling."
Draco leaned his head in close to Remus' face, his breath ghosting over the man's skin as he put his lips very near Remus' ear. "I do... I have for so long. We don't have to do this, Remus, but I very much want to."
Remus swallowed and turned his face very slowly. They were so close that their noses brushed together and Draco started at the heat in the contact. "What are you suggesting?" Remus whispered.
Instead of answering, Draco instead pressed his lips gently to Remus'. The kiss was chaste, but full of intense heat, a fiery passion lurking behind the simple act and Remus pulled away almost violently, his breathing laboured.
"Christ," he hissed.
Draco nodded and pressed his fingers to his own lips. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll leave, never speak of it again." It was Remus' out, Draco was giving it to him without hesitation or reservation.
Remus took in the words, his eyes closed and his hand still clasped firmly in Draco's. Finally, blinking rapidly, he brought his other hand around the back of Draco's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This time, lips parted and tongues sought out deeper contact. Battling for dominance, by the time both men pulled away, they were gasping for breath.
"How can I say no to such passion?" Remus asked aloud, speaking to no one in particular.
Draco smiled and pressed his forehead against Remus'. "I can say with complete honesty that I've never felt like this before. I know this could put your job in jeopardy, this could ruin your reputation as a professor and I'm sure it looks awful, you traipsing round with a boy half your age but.. I want you to be mine."
Remus made a sort of growling sound in the back of his throat and pulled Draco on top of him so that the blonde was straddling his lap. Pressing fierce kisses to Draco's cheeks and neck, he held the blonde as close to his body as he could. "None of that matters to me, Draco. I suppose I hadn't thought on how far my feelings went before, but hearing you suggest that I might not want you at my side..." he trailed off, kissing Draco firmly. As Draco pulled away, Remus captured the blonde's bottom lip with his teeth lightly, letting it snap back a little painfully. "Come to bed with me," Remus said, his voice thick with desire.
Draco felt the other man's cock throbbing beneath him and he desperately tried to form a coherent thought. "Just... lead the way," he said, aching to have more of this man.
Picking Draco up as if he weighed nothing, Remus carefully made his way out of the lounge, down the hall, and into his darkened bedroom. It was slightly cold, the heat not reaching all the way back there, and Draco shivered as Remus sat him on the edge of the bed.
Fumbling round in the dark, Draco proceeded to tear off his clothes as quickly as he could. Remus, who was doing the same, finished the task much more quickly and reached past Draco, pulling the duvet back from the pillows.
Once finished, Remus stood in front of Draco, assisting the blonde with the last stubborn buttons of his shirt. Once the offending article of clothing was removed, Remus put a warm hand on Draco's chest and pushed him back towards the pillows.
The blonde let out a slow hiss as his hot skin came in contact with the cold sheets. He only noticed the cold for a moment though, for seconds later, Remus lowered his own hot body atop Draco's. The contact was almost electric, and Draco groaned loudly. His hands snaked up Remus' sides, resting on the older man's shoulder.
Remus smiled at the gentle gesture and lowered his mouth to Draco's. As their tongues danced intimately, Remus lowered himself onto the bed, his body facing the blonde. His hands slowly moved up to Draco's face and he ended the kiss.
Before Draco could protest, he felt Remus' fingers slowly and hesitantly, touch his face. Draco tensed a moment, not used to such intimate gestures, but as Remus began to trace his features, he relaxed. As Draco's tension eased, Remus' touch became firmer. His palm cupped Draco's cheek for a moment, before his fingers moved over Draco's ear and into his hair. It ghosted through the locks, causing Draco to let out a shuddering sigh, before trailing back down his forehead and over his closed eyes.
"What colour is your hair? Your eyes?" Remus whispered, his mouth next to Draco's ear.
The blonde shivered as Remus' breath breezed across his skin. "Er... my hair is blonde, and my eyes are er... grey-ish."
"Hmmm," Remus said, running his fingers through Draco's locks again. "It feels nice."
Draco nearly purred, and he turned to face Remus fully. Reaching up, Draco gently fingered a lock of Remus' tawny hair before bringing his hand down to cup Remus' cheek. It was such a gentle gesture, not one performed by casual lovers, and Draco felt a flood of emotions that he couldn't name. A beam of light from the lounge filtered through the crack in the door, and when Remus' moved forward on the bed, it fell across his face. Draco took in the slightly round features, noting how they must have contrasted with his own, extremely pointed face, and he wondered how they looked together.
His thoughts were interrupted, however, by Remus' hands that were now travelling down his neck and across his torso. One hand reached around Draco's back whilst the other trailed down his stomach. Bypassing his rock hard prick, Remus moved lower, down Draco's legs and to his sensitive feet. The blonde gave a slight twitch as Remus fingered his toes and ankles, that spot being most ticklish on him. Remus chuckled at little at the responce and moved back up to Draco's face.
"You are so beautiful," Remus whispered, leaning forward so their noses touched. "So beautiful."
Draco blushed fully and shook his head. "No, I'm not really. I'm just skinny, pale and..."
Remus pressed a finger to Draco's lips. "Je ne comprends pas," he said gently. "Why would you believe such a thing about yourself?" He trailed his fingertips lightly over Draco's face once more before replacing his hands with his mouth. Worshiping Draco's skin, Remus soon pulled back and gave the blonde a gentle smile. "So beautiful," he whispered again.
Draco shook his head once more, but didn't verbally argue. Instead, he cupped his hand around Remus' neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. As their lips locked, Draco reached in between their bodies, trailing his hand down until he grasped Remus' cock firmly. Fisting it almost roughly, Remus groaned and arched into the ministrations.
"Fuck," Remus hissed as Draco brought him so close, so quickly. Stilling the blonde's hand, Remus pushed Draco over onto his back and crawled on top of him. Making sure to keep his weight balanced, Remus reached in between them and pressed his achingly hard cock to Draco's. The blonde cried out at the contact, his hips bucking, seeking more friction.
All coherent thought was lost as the two men writhed and moved together, seeking out rough caresses of their joined pricks. Draco urged the older man's weight more fully on him and when Remus complied, Draco began moving frantically, his orgasm rapidly approaching.
With a few more thrusts, Draco buried his face in Remus' chest, crying out as he came. The feeling of Draco's cum on his stomach brought Remus over soon after, his own incoherent growl muted in Draco's neck.
As the two of them slowly came to their senses, Remus gave a small sigh and rolled over. Groping around on the ground, he pulled up the t-shirt he had been wearing and wiped them both clean. A momentary awkwardness settled between them until Remus collapsed back down into the pillows and pulled Draco to his chest.
The younger man gave a contented sort of sigh as he breathed in Remus' scent. The older man's chest was a bit sweaty, though cold from the air, and Draco found it to be a wonderful feeling against his burning cheek.
"That was..." Draco said after a moment.
"Exactly," Remus said softly.
"Sorry?" Draco asked with a frown.
Remus gently ran his fingers through Draco's hair before running his open palms down Draco's back. "Sometimes when you're floundering for a word, it's because there is no word. Sometimes things just are."
Draco chewed on his lower lip for a moment, not sure what to make of it. "But... I liked it. Shouldn't the word I'm searching for reflect that?"
"Yes," Remus said. "And is-ness can be a wonderful thing, Draco."
"Was it... I mean... did you..." Draco stuttered, feeling less confident and more insecure about Remus' feelings for him.
The tawny-haired man smiled and reached down for Draco's hand. Opening the blonde's fingers up, he traced the lines on his palm lazily. "You're feeling insecure," Remus stated kindly.
"Er, yeah, a bit," Draco confessed, feeling suddenly like a child.
"You want to know how I feel about you? Will that reassure you?"
"Yes," Draco said a little more firmly.
Remus manoeuvred Draco so that the blonde could look into his face. He wore a soft smile and his eyes were wide open, though looking very un-focused and far off. The filtered light gave the older man a strangely ethereal look about him and Draco felt a wash of affection for him.
"Tu es dans mon âme, Draco," Remus whispered, placing the blonde's palm against his chest. He pressed his hand over Draco's and repeated himself in English. "You are in my soul."
Draco swallowed thickly and found himself unable to respond. He felt like such an arse for it, but when Remus leant down and kissed his cheeks ever so gently, he realised that no reciprocation was needed. Remus knew, and Draco, for the first time in his life, felt content in another person's arms.
Title: Simply Is
Rating: R or NC-17 (still confused by ratings)
Summary: Remus is the blind French professor teaching Religions at Hogwarts University. Draco, his new student, sets out to seduce him.
Category/Warnings:Romance/Fluff/A/U non-magic
A/N: Ficlet, contains my obnoxious obsession with Is-ness and me pimping the Tao Te Ching. *wink*
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The corridors were crowded with people. The first day of term always brought with it, the brand new students, who looked lost and apprehensive, and the seasoned ones, who walked around like bloody great ponces, acting as if they owned the world.
A strange sort of trio made their way up the winding staircase of Hogwarts University towards their first class of the day. The two in front, a young woman of about twenty-four with bushy, brown hair and a man of the same age with messy black locks and startling green eyes, were staring at their timetables, a bit confused.
The slightly younger man in the back followed a few paces behind them, his pointed face looking slightly bored, his grey eyes red and sleepy from the early hour.
"You two figured it out yet?" the blonde drawled as they reached the top of the stairs.
The woman turned and rolled her eyes. "Honestly Draco, you were the one who had classes in this wing last term, you should know where the damned room is."
"Hermione, it's not worth it. You and I both know his brain won't function at this hour."
"Not our faults," Hermione declared, crossing her arms. "He's the one who signed up for this course."
"Harry," Draco whinged, "just find the damned door."
Rolling his eyes, the raven haired man disappeared round a corner and a triumphant cry alerted the other two that Harry had indeed found the proper classroom. It was hidden away down a dimly lit corridor, and quite impossible to find, as the number was the same colour as the walls.
"This is stupid," Draco snarked as he brushed past his companions. Walking into the smallish classroom, Draco took a seat towards the back, tossing his bag down beside his chair. Hermione and Harry both shared a knowing look before taking the seats in front of him and together they began to pull out their books.
"So Harry... any word on Prof Snape?" Hermione asked, her tone slightly insinuating.
Harry flushed deeply. He'd had a course with the snarky, angry art professor the term before, and after-class tutoring nearly turned into something more. Unfortunately, Snape's fear of getting sacked far eclipsed his desire for Harry, and he forced their relationship to a stand-still. Well, that is, until he was no longer Harry's professor.
"He sent me an email last week, but unfortunately I've been too busy to see him," Harry confessed with a shy smile.
"You're such a git, Potter. How d'you ever expect to bang him when you never see him," Draco snarked sleepily, ignoring Harry's insults. With a loud yawn, Draco put his head down on his arms and closed his eyes. "We're early, like we always are," Draco said irritably. "How long before class starts?"
Hemione rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. "Class starts at seven-ten, it's six fifty now, so I reckon you have time for a short kip before the professor arrives."
Draco gave another loud yawn and snuggled back down into his arms as Harry and Hermione continued their conversation. A few more students filtered into the class and a bit of loud chatter broke out.
As the time for class to begin drew nearer, the students kept looking towards the door expectantly. No one knew what this course was going to be like, it was newly added to the University and the professor was new as well.
At exactly seven-ten, the door opened and a podgy, pug-faced blonde girl sauntered in and frantically began re-arranging things. "Must have it all perfect, you know," she muttered to the students closest to her. "Had it all set up yesterday, don't know who was in here, making such a mess."
At the chatter, Draco opened his eyes and smirked. The girl cleaning up was Pansy Parkinson, and she'd followed Draco round like a lost puppy, begging for his affections. Unfortunately for her, Draco didn't swing that way.
"What are you doing?" Draco demanded loudly.
At the sound of Draco's voice, Pansy whirled round and gave a startled smile. "Oh... Draco, I didn't see you there."
"Right," Draco said with a quirked eyebrow. "Why are you acting like you've gone mad?"
"I'm just making sure everything is perfect for Prof Lupin. He's got to have everything right, you know. He uses the projector a lot as well, so you would do well to copy everything from there."
Draco frowned and looked at Harry. "What's she on about? Is he some kind of perfection nazi?"
Harry gave a half-shrug and turned back towards Pansy who was now moving a large chair out of the way. After switching the rolling table with the desk, Pansy headed back for the door. "All right, you lot, Prof Lupin should be here in a few minutes. Good luck." With that, she smiled at Draco and walked out.
"What the hell?" Draco wondered. "He must be a bastard."
"I can't believe she's his new assistant," Hermione said with a huff. "I applied for that post when I saw it advertised online. No wonder she's stopped following Draco round during the hols."
Draco shrugged indifferently. "I was happy about it, she was dead annoying." Pulling out his notebook and pencil, Draco began absently sketching. When the door opened a few moments later, he didn't look up.
A tall, tawny haired man with a kind face stepped in, accompanied by a large, black dog on a strange sort of harness. "Good morning class," he said in a very quite voice. "Sorry I was tardy. First day madness and all that." His voice carried an air of strength, despite his quiet tone and it was also thickly accented. French, by the sound.
When Draco heard the accent, having a fetish for those sorts of things, his eyes snapped up and immediately fell on the dog. "What?" he whispered softly.
The new professor chuckled as his dog began to sniff round the front row students' bags and feet. "Now, now Padfoot, no saying hello just yet." The dog quickly obeyed and plopped down at the professor's feet.
Draco leant forward, trying to get a better view of the man from his back seat and noticed something strange. Lupin's eyes seemed to have no muscle control and lolled about in his head, often rolling back so far only the whites showed. Then the harness on the dog made sense. Professor Lupin was blind.
"My name is Professor Remus Lupin, and feel free to call me Remus," the man began in his soft voice. "This is my first year teaching at this University, though I have been teaching for several years. I prefer this class for many reasons. One, being that I enjoy lecturing on the many religions of the world, and two, most who take this course are seasoned students and know what's to be expected of you in the way of behaviour and coursework."
As Draco listened to the man speak, he found himself captivated by the accent as well as Lupin's youthful, and quite frankly, beautiful face. As Lupin continued his introduction, he paced in front of the small desk, his hand every so often reaching out to keep himself oriented. The dog continued to lie on the floor, passive and un-needed, content to sleep the class away.
After speaking, Lupin placed a brown satchel atop the desk and pulled out a large binder full of thick paper. Opening it up, he pulled out several print-outs that were stapled together. "I want to make this course as easy as possible for all of us. I'd like you to get something out of it, and I'd like to get something out of it. I took the liberty of outlining everything for you, so if someone would be kind enough to hand these out..."
Hermione was instantly on her feet and took the stack. Passing one to each student, she returned the rest to Lupin. "Four left, sir," she said kindly.
"Thank you Miss... " Lupin said as he took the rest back.
"Granger. Er... Hermione Granger."
"Well, thank you Miss Granger," he said with a grin and Draco glowered.
"Kissing his arse already," he sneered.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Jealous?"
"Hardly," Draco hissed, but he was.
"Belt up," Harry whispered as Lupin continued on the lecture.
Draco rolled his eyes, but closed his mouth in favour of listening to the delicious accent. By the time class was over, he had decided on a new mission. Seduce his professor. If Harry could do it, why couldn't he.
"You have that look, Draco," Harry said as they began to gather their things. "What are you thinking... or do I want to know?"
Draco gave Harry a crooked grin and shrugged. "Oh it's nothing important. Catch me up in a moment, I need to ask Remus something."
Harry's eyes widened. "Oh no, no Draco, don't you dare. He's a sweet man, leave him be."
Draco placed his palms flat on the desk and leant in towards Harry. "Potter, why is it so wrong for me to do this when you did the same to Snape?"
Harry flushed. "I didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of... happened. And Snape could've gotten sacked for it, just like Lupin can if you're not careful."
"I'm always careful," Draco said determinedly. "Now off you get, whilst I have a word with him."
Knowing there wasn't anything to do to stop Draco once he was on a mission, Harry ushered himself and Hermione out of the class. Draco gathered his things up slowly and approached the desk where Remus was now sitting, his fingers scanning a large sheet of Braille.
"Your dog's adorable," Draco said softly.
Remus turned his face up towards Draco, his eyes looking sharply to the left, and he smiled. "Thank you, he's quite arrogant at times and I'm sure he appreciates the compliments."
Draco chuckled. "Is he quite temperamental? I heard guide dogs had to be of a certian sort."
"They do," Remus agreed, leaning his elbow on the desk. "This little sod barely passed his training, but I rather enjoy his attitude. It could be because I have a bit of one myself." Remus dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You see, neither of us like taking direction from others."
Draco giggled loudly and shook his head. "Well I think your course might be more fun than I originally thought."
"You don't fancy religions, then?" Remus asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"Not really, but to tell the truth, I've never given it much thought. My friends bullied me into taking a class with them, so I chose this. And I'm not exactly a morning person, either."
"Ah," Remus said with a grin, "nor am I, really. I have to drink at least three cups of strong coffee before I'm close to ready for a lecture."
Draco flushed at the accent, suddenly grateful that the other man couldn't see him. "Actually I had a purpose of approaching you, sir."
"Call me Remus, please. I don't much fancy formalities... I mean, we're all adults here."
"Or so we like to pretend," Draco joked and Remus chuckled. "Alright then, Remus. You see, I really don't know anything about religions and I'm afraid I might be a bit lost, and I really covet my grades. I was hoping that... well if you had time... you might be able to tutor me if I fall too far behind."
Remus frowned slightly. "Well I do have an assistant..."
"No," Draco said hurriedly. "I already know your assistant and we have a bit of... erm... personal conflict."
"Might I ask what that is?" Remus inquired, humour colouring his voice.
"She er... fancies me, has for some time, but I don't... fancy her back," Draco said lamely.
"Not a looker then, is she?" Remus joked.
Draco flushed. "It's not that.. I just don't swing her way."
Remus paled just slightly and his sightless eyes widened. "Oh. Well, that makes sense then."
"She knows it, but she won't listen," Draco insisted, desperate for Remus to agree to the tutoring. "I'll bribe you... coffee every morning," he added lightly.
Remus laughed loudly this time and stuck out his hand. "Then you have a deal Mr... er... "
"Malfoy, but call me Draco."
Remus smiled. "Draco... dragon?"
Draco flushed and rolled his eyes. "You can thank my parents, out of their damn minds when I was born."
"Draco then, and I will expect to hear from you the moment you feel that you're not understanding the material."
Draco grinned triumphantly. "You will, I promise," and with a bounce in his step, Draco exited the classroom.
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Harry, Draco, Hermione and her boyfriend Ron, all sat round the table at Harry and Draco's flat. The four of them were enjoying a huge meal of curried chicken, couscous, phyllo wrapped spinach, and seared peppers, and talking about their first day.
Well, they had been, but the conversation had turned to Draco's new mission. "I can't believe you're going through with this," Hermione said exasperatedly. "The man's nice and... he's so unsuspecting."
"And fucking beautiful," Draco said through a mouthful of chicken. "Did you hear his accent? Fucking... orgasmic is what it was!"
Ron covered his ears. "Honestly Draco, I don't need to hear about your twisted fetishes."
Draco grinned. "Believe me Weasel, those aren't close to my version of twisted."
"He's right," Harry said solemnly, "and if you treasure your sanity at all, don't ask."
Ron paled and looked at Hermione who shrugged and nodded. With a sigh, she continued to badger him, "I just don't think this is right, Draco. The poor man's blind for God's sake!"
"So?" Draco said. "What's that got to do with it?"
"It's... I mean... it's just... " Hermione floundered.
Harry sighed. "He's nice, Draco, so I hope you don't intend to see this as one of your happy little one-off's. He really doesn't strike me as the type to go for that sort of thing, and you shouldn't trick him into it."
Draco looked offended and crossed his arms. "You lot have no faith in me!"
"You've never given us proper reason to have any," Hermione countered.
"I'm nice... when there's good reason, and Remus is very good reason. I don't want a one-off with him."
"You promise?" Harry demanded.
Draco quirked an eyebrow, "Why's this so damned important to you, Potter?"
Harry shrugged and sighed. "I don't know," he confessed, "Prof Lupin just... just seems like a good sort who's had rotten luck."
Draco let a small smile grace his slightly pointed face. "Alright then, Potter, I promise."
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True to his word, Draco rose quite early the next day, and without waiting for Hermione or Harry, popped to the café for two coffees. Carrying them carefully, Draco made his way through the slightly emptied halls and towards Lupin's office.
The door was closed but a light was on so Draco attempted to knock with his foot. "Come in," Remus called after a moment.
"Er, my hands are a bit full," Draco called back and a moment later, the door was opened.
Expecting to be met by Lupin, Draco was unpleasantly surprised when he came face-to-face with Pansy. "Oh," he sneered.
"What are you doing here, Draco?" Pansy demanded.
Rolling his eyes, Draco pushed past the blonde and walked into the office where Lupin was seated behind his large writing desk. "I'm keeping my promise and I've brought Remus a coffee," Draco said with a grin. Moving towards the professor, Draco set the coffee down in front of the older man. "Bit hot, and I've added cream and sugar."
Remus smiled and felt along his desk until he came in contact with the cup. Taking a delicate sip, he leant back in his chair and smiled. "C'est parfait, merci Draco."
Draco flushed and nodded. "You're welcome."
"I confess I didn't expect the coffee today," Remus said after a long drink. "I'm not tutoring you yet."
Pansy's jaw dropped. "You're tutoring Draco?" she demanded.
"Should he need it, yes," Remus said with a soft smile.
"I thought I was to take over any tutoring," she whinged.
Remus smiled pleasantly and shrugged. "I've taken special interest in this case... hopeless as it may be," he teased.
"Oy!" Draco said, but smiled in spite of the joshing.
"We've not yet begun the course though, Draco," Remus said after a moment.
"I promised coffee every morning," Draco said, sticking his nose in the air, "and I always keep to my promises."
"That, Mr Malfoy, is something I rarely see, and very much commend you on," Remus said very seriously, and the very sound of his voice made Draco's heart flutter.
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After the initial coffee, it became a routine for the pair, Draco supplying them with their caffeine addiction, Remus supplying the wit and the excuses to keep Pansy away. Draco was falling hard, though he was doing remarkably well in the class, and Remus... seemed to be developing feelings as well.
As the class neared the end of term, the class focused on Taoism... which confused the hell out of Draco. By the end of the second lecture he was so lost that he was certain he was going to fail, even with Remus guiding him.
Pausing after class, Draco waited until the last student had filed out before approaching Remus. "I hate this," he said, leaning his head down on Remus' desk. "I'm never going to understand it."
Remus chuckled. "Why don't you stop by my office tomorrow, it's Saturday so I won't be having office hours. I've got a few things to tidy up in there and Pansy will be blessedly absent. Think carefully about what's confusing you and we can discuss it."
"Alright," Draco groaned as he straightened up. "What time?"
"Say round noon, we can even have a bit of something to eat, if you're peckish."
"I'm sure will be," Draco said with a laugh, "and since you're providing the extra lesson, why don't I provide the food. D'you fancy Indian?"
"Anything is fine with me, Draco. Au demain."
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Draco was just finishing up readying himself for his session with Lupin when a sharp knock sounded at the door. Harry was off on a weekend date with Snape, so Draco reluctantly padded to the door.
To say he was surprised would be an understatement when the blonde found his family's butler, Dobby, standing before him. "Master Malfoy, your father is waiting downstairs and wishes to have a lunch with you."
Draco's shock turned into anger and his grey eyes narrowed. "You can tell father that I've plans this afternoon, and if he wishes to have lunch with me, he should ring me first."
Dobby sighed, his eyes pleading with Draco. "Master Malfoy, your father is insistent that you dine with him, and I think it best you do."
Knowing his father, Draco sighed and rolled his eyes. "Tell him I'll be right down," and with that, he slammed the door. "Shit," he cursed loudly, as he reached for his mobile. Dialling Remus' office, Draco groaned when he was put straight through to his voice mail. "Remus, this is Draco. I'm so sorry to do this but my father ," he said, sneering the word, "has demanded my time and unfortunately I can't disagree with him. I will be by as soon as I can and I hope to catch you. Sorry for this." Ringing off, Draco shoved his mobile into his pocket and stormed down to his father's car.
Climbing in next to the older, elegant man, Draco fixed him with a glare. "So you don't see fit to ring me when you want to drop in?" Draco demanded.
"Now now, Draco," Lucius said arrogantly, "no need for such attitude. What's the harm in wanting to see my son for the day."
"The day?" Draco exclaimed. "Father, I have plans."
"Yes," Lucius drawled with a smirk, "with me. We're meeting some of my associates and I want you to be on your best behaviour."
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By the time Draco was able to get away from his father, it was well past six. Furious with the man, Draco refused to say goodbye and he stormed up to his flat where he was finally able to check his messages. There was one, and it was from Remus.
"Draco, so sorry to have missed you, but hanging round my office all day is a bit boring. I'm at my flat now and if you'd like to ring me, please do." Remus left his number and, not thinking straight, Draco dialled it.
After a few rings, a voice picked up. "Hello?"
"Remus," Draco said, suddenly flustered to be ringing his Remus on the man's personal line, "er, it's Draco. I've only just got home."
Remus chuckled. "Sounds like you've had a rough day?"
"Words can't describe it," Draco said with a huff. "I'm completely vexed that I missed the lesson, I really am lost on that Taoism rubbish."
"It isn't rubbish, and it isn't hard," Remus said gently. "I'm fixing a spot of dinner right now, why don't you come to my flat and we can go over your lessons after the meal."
Draco blushed furiously. "A-at your flat?" he stammered.
Remus was silent for a long moment. "That was forward of me Draco, Je suis désolé."
"No!" Draco said almost desperately, "It's fine, really. I'll be happy to dine with you. I'm just... just flustered from my father and whatnot."
Remus laughed just a little and quickly gave Draco his address. "See you soon?"
"I'll be right over," Draco promised. Ringing off, Draco grabbed his bag and dashed out the door. Racing to his car, he jumped in and was soon speeding down the street towards Remus' flat. He found a close place to park, and feeling intensely nervous, Draco headed up to the second floor where Remus lived.
The hall was dimly lit and the building was a bit old. He doubted many people actually lived there, and normally Draco would have been quite put off by the shabby place, but when it came to Remus, he found he didn't care.
Pausing at the door, Draco reached up a shaking fist and knocked. He waited a few moments, and then the door opened. Remus greeted Draco, wearing a black t-shirt and loose, black flannel bottoms. His feet were bare and he looked so much more normal than he did in his regular teaching suit.
"Remus," Draco greeted a little shyly.
Remus smiled and quickly showed Draco inside. "Bienvenu, Draco," he said softly as they stepped into the lounge. "It's quite small and I will have to ask you not to move anything if you can help it."
"I'll try," Draco said, feeling a bit of his confidence returning, "though it might be funny to watch you put your fag out on a book."
Remus chuckled and shook his head. "You're impossible."
"So I've been told," the blonde responded happily. His head was reeling at the casualness of their conversation and at the intimacy of being in Remus' flat, and he was nearly overwhelmed. "What are you cooking?" he asked after a tense moment, "It smells wonderful."
"Just a bit of fish and some vegetables. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," Draco answered, shifting uncomfortably.
Remus seemed to sense Draco's discomfort and quickly took him into the kitchen. "It should be ready soon, can I offer you a drink?"
"Sure, wine if you have it."
"I'm a Frenchmen," Remus said as he pulled two glasses from the cabinet. "I always have wine." He measured out the liquid with his finger, and handed a glass to Draco. Taking a small sip, Draco started when the black dog came dashing into the kitchen. The animal rushed up to Draco, sniffing him intently before plopping down on his feet.
Remus chuckled as he bent over the cooker to check the potatoes. "Sorry about him, he's a bit enthusiastic when guests are here and he's not on duty."
"On duty?" Draco asked with a frown.
"Yes, he's on duty when he has his harness on. When I take it off, he's aloud to be a regular dog... well sort of."
Draco nodded in understanding and knelt down to pet Padfoot between the ears. "He really is beautiful."
"And he knows it," Remus said with a smile. Grabbing two plates, the older man began to dish out the food before placing them on the table. "I hope you're hungry," he said as they took their seats.
"Looks delicious," was all the blonde said before the two of them tucked into the meal. Once the food was consumed, along with a few glasses of wine, Remus fixed a pot of chocolate and retired them into the lounge where they sat on the sofa.
Draco, feeling exceedingly nervous about being in close company with Remus in the man's flat, spoke very little. He accepted the cup of chocolate and sat in silence until Remus spoke.
"So Draco, shall we get to your questions."
"Er... uhm.. right," Draco floundered. Flushing, he stood up and fetched his bag, pulling out his notes. Sitting back down next to Remus, he noticed that the older man had gotten a book printed in Braille.
"The Tao really is easy to understand," Remus said softly, "if you take it for what it is."
Draco nearly groaned. "And what is that?"
Remus chuckled. "Excatly that, Draco. The Tao simply is. Once we get rid of words like good and bad, we are left with is-ness. The Tao simply is, and we must see it as such."
Draco rolled his eyes and this time did groan. "Nope, nothing."
Remus smiled gently and opened the book. Fingering the bumps, he paused on a page and turned his face towards Draco. "Let me read you this passage from the Tao Te Ching, it's one of my favourites and it's quite popular."
"Okay," Draco said, trying not to sound lost or bored, though he was.
Remus' fingers scanned the page and his accented voice flooded Draco's senses. "The wise student hears of the Tao and practises it diligently. The average student hears of the Tao and gives it thought now and again. The foolish student hears of the Tao and laughs aloud. If there were no laughter, the Tao would not be what it is." Remus paused. "That small passage just shows that the Tao is nothing more than the Tao. It is to be revered, thought on and laughed at. It simply... is."
Draco blinked when Remus stopped speaking and he sighed. "It still makes no sense to me." He fully expected his professor, the man who had devoted his life to the study of religions, to be disappointed in him, or perhaps dislike him a little for it.
But instead, Remus merely reached over and gave Draco's knee a small pat. "Not understanding the Tao is also part of it. I don't expect you to study it as I have, nor do I expect you to understand what any of it means. All I ask is that you give it your best effort."
"I know all of this... stuff... is important to you..." Draco said lamely.
"Personally, yes, but knowing the effort you've made to understand it is reward enough," Remus insisted. He set the book down and turned bodily toward the blonde.
"So... there isn't much you can tell me to make me understand it, is there?"
"I don't think there is," Remus confirmed with a nod. "I will, of course, expect you to get what you can from the lecture, but apart from that, I'm not displeased."
A small smile played at the corner of Draco's mouth and he leant back slightly. Sipping on his chocolate, his eyes trailed to Remus' fingers and he wondered what it would be like to 'see' everything that way. "Remus," he said before he lost the courage, "is being blind uhm... difficult."
"Not for me," Remus said casually. "I've been this way since I was a baby."
"So reading Braille isn't hard?"
"It's just reading to me," Remus answered with a shrug. "I suppose it might be difficult for you to learn, but if you needed to, you could do it."
Draco sighed and looked down into his cup. "You know... I never thought I'd enjoy a class without enjoying the coursework and lectures."
"Are you saying my lectures are boring?" Remus teased.
"No!" Draco defended before he realised Remus had been joking. Flushing appropriately, he gave a small chuckle. "Really though, your company is very pleasant."
"As is yours," Remus replied softly.
"Er..." Draco chanced, unsure how to make his intentions clear whilst still giving Remus room to decline without embarrassment, "my flatmate Harry, he's dating Prof Snape. You know him?"
Remus nodded a little solemnly. "I do," he said, a hint of surprise colouring his tone. "Severus has a long history with Harry's father. I'm surprised to hear they have a relationship."
"Harry and Snape worked that out last term... during a few tutoring sessions."
Remus chuckled at the implications. "Well that's one way to deal with a problem."
"How'd you know about all of that, anyway?" Draco inquired. "I thought you were new here."
"I attended Hogwarts University and unfortunately I was... present during the incident," Remus said, regret heavy in his words.
Mission momentarily eclipsed by curiosity, Draco moved closer to Remus. "Harry never told me what his father did to Snape. But you know."
"I'm not sure it's my place to give such information," Remus said slowly.
"Please," Draco begged, now moving so close that their shoulders touched. "I promise I won't tell a soul."
Remus chewed on his lower lip to try and suppress the grin but failed. "Alright, but you must swear to secrecy."
"I swear," Draco said hurriedly.
"It was our third year here and I'd made fast friends with Sirius Black and James Potter," Remus began in a low voice. "Severus was also in our dormitory and he was never friendly with the other students. James and Sirius had made it their mission in life to torment the poor sod for his entire stay, but I had seen Severus'... friendlier side," he said with a small shrug. "Severus wasn't so bad, actually, once you got round his snark, and I developed a bit of a... a crush on him."
At these words, Draco was both elated and depressed. It meant Remus fancied blokes, but it also meant he could still possibly harbour feelings for Snape. "Go on," Draco said gently.
"Well, James and Sirius were never open-minded about such things, so I never told them, but they somehow knew Severus swung that way and they were determined to out him. Mind, I didn't know this at the time, and it all became clear after the incident. Their plan was to get him pissed and catch him in the act with another boy. Unfortunately, I happened to be the unlucky boy who'd had too much to drink. I confessed my feelings to Severus, and before I knew it, we were snogging on the sofa in the commons. James and Sirius both thought I was helping them in their plan and quickly roused the entire building, telling everyone with in hearing range that Severus had gotten me drunk and seduced me whilst I was unconscious. Completely untrue, but Severus never believed me. He was ostracised for the rest of his stay there, and because of how everyone reacted to his outing, I never revealed my sexuality."
Draco, who had been listening with rapt attention, let out a slow breath. "Bloody hell," was all he could manage.
"Indeed, and whilst Severus and I have somewhat moved on from it, I'm not sure that he will every fully believe that I had no part in their cruelty. Believe me, I've had my share of bullying and I wasn't about to bring it upon another poor soul."
Draco flushed, having once been a nasty bully himself, and moved away just slightly.
"Have I said something?" Remus asked, feeling Draco pull away.
"It's just... I used to be that kind of person. Potter and I... we hated each other, did all sorts of horrid things, but we worked it out."
"How so?" Remus asked, crossing his arms casually.
Draco laughed. "Over several pints and a couple of swinging fists. We woke up with the worst hangovers and sporting black eyes. We decided it wasn't worth the pain and before we knew it, we were flatmates."
Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Wish it had been that simple for me back then."
"Do you still... er... wish that you and he could... " Draco stuttered, feeling stupid for asking such a thing.
"No," Remus said gently. "It was a silly crush and it was a very long time ago."
Draco nodded and sheepishly watched Remus' eyes which were still, but staring very sharply to the right. He felt strange about liking it, but he did. "You don't find it... well... wrong that he and Harry are together, even though they were student and teacher. And the, you know, age difference?"
"Of course not," Remus said firmly. "I understand the problems it could cause whilst they were still student and teacher, but we all are adults, for the most part. I see no problems with adults acting as such outside the classroom."
Draco felt a wave of desire hit him and he shifted to accommodate his now hardened cock. "That's good," he said.
Remus quirked an eyebrow in his direction and he gave Draco a half-smile. "Is it? Someone you have your eye on, Draco?" The tone was incredibly suggestive and Draco nearly swooned. He had fantasised about Remus fancying him back, but the older man had never given much indication of it being true.
"Would you be mortified if I told you yes?" Draco all but whispered.
"Why should I be mortified... unless it includes me," Remus said gently.
Biting back his nervousness, Draco reached out and took Remus' very soft hand in his. "It does," he said so softly Remus almost didn't hear him.
The older man froze for a moment, his movements and breathing stilled. Eventually, he returned the grip on Draco's hand and let out a slow breath. "Is that the purpose of the tutoring?" he asked softly.
Draco blinked, embarrassed. "Er... in the beginning yes, though I really didn't understand the whole Taoism thing."
Remus allowed a nervous sort of laugh. "I'm not sure whether to be flattered or wary," he confessed.
Draco felt suddenly desperate and he moved as close to Remus as he could manage. "You don't want this?" he asked, fearing rejection.
"I didn't say that," Remus said very quietly. "I just..."
"Had you thought about it?" Draco demanded.
"I had," Remus confessed. "But I never thought you would reciprocate any sort of feeling."
Draco leaned his head in close to Remus' face, his breath ghosting over the man's skin as he put his lips very near Remus' ear. "I do... I have for so long. We don't have to do this, Remus, but I very much want to."
Remus swallowed and turned his face very slowly. They were so close that their noses brushed together and Draco started at the heat in the contact. "What are you suggesting?" Remus whispered.
Instead of answering, Draco instead pressed his lips gently to Remus'. The kiss was chaste, but full of intense heat, a fiery passion lurking behind the simple act and Remus pulled away almost violently, his breathing laboured.
"Christ," he hissed.
Draco nodded and pressed his fingers to his own lips. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll leave, never speak of it again." It was Remus' out, Draco was giving it to him without hesitation or reservation.
Remus took in the words, his eyes closed and his hand still clasped firmly in Draco's. Finally, blinking rapidly, he brought his other hand around the back of Draco's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This time, lips parted and tongues sought out deeper contact. Battling for dominance, by the time both men pulled away, they were gasping for breath.
"How can I say no to such passion?" Remus asked aloud, speaking to no one in particular.
Draco smiled and pressed his forehead against Remus'. "I can say with complete honesty that I've never felt like this before. I know this could put your job in jeopardy, this could ruin your reputation as a professor and I'm sure it looks awful, you traipsing round with a boy half your age but.. I want you to be mine."
Remus made a sort of growling sound in the back of his throat and pulled Draco on top of him so that the blonde was straddling his lap. Pressing fierce kisses to Draco's cheeks and neck, he held the blonde as close to his body as he could. "None of that matters to me, Draco. I suppose I hadn't thought on how far my feelings went before, but hearing you suggest that I might not want you at my side..." he trailed off, kissing Draco firmly. As Draco pulled away, Remus captured the blonde's bottom lip with his teeth lightly, letting it snap back a little painfully. "Come to bed with me," Remus said, his voice thick with desire.
Draco felt the other man's cock throbbing beneath him and he desperately tried to form a coherent thought. "Just... lead the way," he said, aching to have more of this man.
Picking Draco up as if he weighed nothing, Remus carefully made his way out of the lounge, down the hall, and into his darkened bedroom. It was slightly cold, the heat not reaching all the way back there, and Draco shivered as Remus sat him on the edge of the bed.
Fumbling round in the dark, Draco proceeded to tear off his clothes as quickly as he could. Remus, who was doing the same, finished the task much more quickly and reached past Draco, pulling the duvet back from the pillows.
Once finished, Remus stood in front of Draco, assisting the blonde with the last stubborn buttons of his shirt. Once the offending article of clothing was removed, Remus put a warm hand on Draco's chest and pushed him back towards the pillows.
The blonde let out a slow hiss as his hot skin came in contact with the cold sheets. He only noticed the cold for a moment though, for seconds later, Remus lowered his own hot body atop Draco's. The contact was almost electric, and Draco groaned loudly. His hands snaked up Remus' sides, resting on the older man's shoulder.
Remus smiled at the gentle gesture and lowered his mouth to Draco's. As their tongues danced intimately, Remus lowered himself onto the bed, his body facing the blonde. His hands slowly moved up to Draco's face and he ended the kiss.
Before Draco could protest, he felt Remus' fingers slowly and hesitantly, touch his face. Draco tensed a moment, not used to such intimate gestures, but as Remus began to trace his features, he relaxed. As Draco's tension eased, Remus' touch became firmer. His palm cupped Draco's cheek for a moment, before his fingers moved over Draco's ear and into his hair. It ghosted through the locks, causing Draco to let out a shuddering sigh, before trailing back down his forehead and over his closed eyes.
"What colour is your hair? Your eyes?" Remus whispered, his mouth next to Draco's ear.
The blonde shivered as Remus' breath breezed across his skin. "Er... my hair is blonde, and my eyes are er... grey-ish."
"Hmmm," Remus said, running his fingers through Draco's locks again. "It feels nice."
Draco nearly purred, and he turned to face Remus fully. Reaching up, Draco gently fingered a lock of Remus' tawny hair before bringing his hand down to cup Remus' cheek. It was such a gentle gesture, not one performed by casual lovers, and Draco felt a flood of emotions that he couldn't name. A beam of light from the lounge filtered through the crack in the door, and when Remus' moved forward on the bed, it fell across his face. Draco took in the slightly round features, noting how they must have contrasted with his own, extremely pointed face, and he wondered how they looked together.
His thoughts were interrupted, however, by Remus' hands that were now travelling down his neck and across his torso. One hand reached around Draco's back whilst the other trailed down his stomach. Bypassing his rock hard prick, Remus moved lower, down Draco's legs and to his sensitive feet. The blonde gave a slight twitch as Remus fingered his toes and ankles, that spot being most ticklish on him. Remus chuckled at little at the responce and moved back up to Draco's face.
"You are so beautiful," Remus whispered, leaning forward so their noses touched. "So beautiful."
Draco blushed fully and shook his head. "No, I'm not really. I'm just skinny, pale and..."
Remus pressed a finger to Draco's lips. "Je ne comprends pas," he said gently. "Why would you believe such a thing about yourself?" He trailed his fingertips lightly over Draco's face once more before replacing his hands with his mouth. Worshiping Draco's skin, Remus soon pulled back and gave the blonde a gentle smile. "So beautiful," he whispered again.
Draco shook his head once more, but didn't verbally argue. Instead, he cupped his hand around Remus' neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. As their lips locked, Draco reached in between their bodies, trailing his hand down until he grasped Remus' cock firmly. Fisting it almost roughly, Remus groaned and arched into the ministrations.
"Fuck," Remus hissed as Draco brought him so close, so quickly. Stilling the blonde's hand, Remus pushed Draco over onto his back and crawled on top of him. Making sure to keep his weight balanced, Remus reached in between them and pressed his achingly hard cock to Draco's. The blonde cried out at the contact, his hips bucking, seeking more friction.
All coherent thought was lost as the two men writhed and moved together, seeking out rough caresses of their joined pricks. Draco urged the older man's weight more fully on him and when Remus complied, Draco began moving frantically, his orgasm rapidly approaching.
With a few more thrusts, Draco buried his face in Remus' chest, crying out as he came. The feeling of Draco's cum on his stomach brought Remus over soon after, his own incoherent growl muted in Draco's neck.
As the two of them slowly came to their senses, Remus gave a small sigh and rolled over. Groping around on the ground, he pulled up the t-shirt he had been wearing and wiped them both clean. A momentary awkwardness settled between them until Remus collapsed back down into the pillows and pulled Draco to his chest.
The younger man gave a contented sort of sigh as he breathed in Remus' scent. The older man's chest was a bit sweaty, though cold from the air, and Draco found it to be a wonderful feeling against his burning cheek.
"That was..." Draco said after a moment.
"Exactly," Remus said softly.
"Sorry?" Draco asked with a frown.
Remus gently ran his fingers through Draco's hair before running his open palms down Draco's back. "Sometimes when you're floundering for a word, it's because there is no word. Sometimes things just are."
Draco chewed on his lower lip for a moment, not sure what to make of it. "But... I liked it. Shouldn't the word I'm searching for reflect that?"
"Yes," Remus said. "And is-ness can be a wonderful thing, Draco."
"Was it... I mean... did you..." Draco stuttered, feeling less confident and more insecure about Remus' feelings for him.
The tawny-haired man smiled and reached down for Draco's hand. Opening the blonde's fingers up, he traced the lines on his palm lazily. "You're feeling insecure," Remus stated kindly.
"Er, yeah, a bit," Draco confessed, feeling suddenly like a child.
"You want to know how I feel about you? Will that reassure you?"
"Yes," Draco said a little more firmly.
Remus manoeuvred Draco so that the blonde could look into his face. He wore a soft smile and his eyes were wide open, though looking very un-focused and far off. The filtered light gave the older man a strangely ethereal look about him and Draco felt a wash of affection for him.
"Tu es dans mon âme, Draco," Remus whispered, placing the blonde's palm against his chest. He pressed his hand over Draco's and repeated himself in English. "You are in my soul."
Draco swallowed thickly and found himself unable to respond. He felt like such an arse for it, but when Remus leant down and kissed his cheeks ever so gently, he realised that no reciprocation was needed. Remus knew, and Draco, for the first time in his life, felt content in another person's arms.