Remus/Sirius Fic
Can you believe I haven't written R/S since the release of Half Blood Prince? I realised as much this morning, and decided to CHANGE THAT RIGHT AWAY.
Title: Of Heat and Fever and Other Things.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Genre: Well it's funny, but mostly fluffy.
Rating: PG-13 for the odd snog & swearword WHERE'S THE SEX, I hear you cry!
Summary and notes: A poisoning, an over-reaction, all together too much innuendo and a kiss.
*
"What's the matter, Padfoot?" he'd asked as the other boy slouched into the room. If many fixated years of Sirius-watching had taught him anything, it had had taught him this: Sirius Black did not slouch. The boy had suffered through posture lessons, standing-etiquette books, and God-knows-how-many instructions on "how one with noble bones should carry oneself".
Part of what made him so bloody appealing was his perfectly straight back, his calm, dignified poise, his never-wrinkled shirts. Remus's personal ambition in life was to make him lose this dignity, and have him writhing before him. But that was irrelevant, because something was wrong. And if Sirius wasn't happy... Remus wasn't happy.
"What's the matter? What's the matter?" repeated Sirius slightly hysterically as he chucked his rucksack over onto his bed.
"I'll tell you what's the matter! I'm bloody well sick, some sort of terrible--" Sirius stopped, seemingly lost for words, and then a huge sneeze wracked his body. He forgot his line of thought, "Oh, god I'm ill. I think I'm dying. Diseased. Deceased, even--" A-a-again. A sneeze. It made Sirius's hair flop all about the place, and Remus had to hide a smile.
"Also. I've taken on t-too many- N.E.W.T.s this year, so I can't be sick! Because If bloody Prongs-- prongs!- beats me in these exams, I think I--" Another sneeze, much like a car backfiring, "I might as well die."
And with this, Sirius Black, first time sloucher, collapsed.
"Shite!" exclaimed Remus, and leapt to his feet.
*
"For the last time, Lupin-- we do not know the cause of Mr. Black's situation! Yet! Professor Slughorn is looking into it."
"Professor Slughorn?" Remus repeated, stupidly.
"Yes. He suspects that some foul play has occurred here. A little potions joke, perhaps-" Here, Pomfrey stopped, and looked thoughtful. She shot Remus a wide smile that was entirely too reminiscent of a crocodile, in his opinion.
"You know, dear... If you knew of a prank, for instance, that may have gotten out of hand... you could always tell me." Her arm slunk round Remus's shoulder, and he tried desperately to edge away politely. "You can tell me anything, you know. I just want to get to the bottom of this, you know. I just want Sirius to get well, you know."
Remus did know, but said nothing on the matter: he was thinking. Potions led to Slytherin, and Slytherin led to Snape, and Snape... well. There was no need to clarify where Snape led. Yoda said it best, after all.
This would have to be dealt with.
Pomfrey obviously thought she was on to a winner here, and had taken Remus's silence to mean that he was wracked with guilt.
She spoke gently, "Perhaps, you need to go for a walk? Collect your thoughts?"
There was a silence, and then she added, "What if he never wakes up?"
Whatifhe-
Oh, he'd go for a walk all right. Right over Severus Snape's bloody head!
At this, he nodded mutely in Pomfrey's direction, and headed back to Gryffindor tower.
James. For this, he would need James.
*
He ran all the way from the medical room, and so by the time he reached the Fat Lady- and company- he was flushed and out of breath.
"Sirius been tiring you out, darling?" cooed Violet, the Fat lady's friend. Both women giggled hugely, though the Fat Lady made a great show of "shushing" her friend.
"Excuse me?" Remus shrieked, his face going even redder. Why wasn't this castly drafty? It was a bloody castle, after all.
"Nothing, nothing dearie." Said the fat lady non-comitally, whilst Violet made a lewd hand gesture in front of her mouth. Remus was scandalised, and before the portrait had swung away completely he caught sight of Violet writhing, supposedly in the throes of passion, calling out "Sirius! Baaaby!" and heard the Fat Lady's screams of laughter.
Fabulous, he thought. Even the bloody pictures know that he's obsessed.
*
The little red common room was too hot today, which aggravated Remus's mood further. If anyone made any other comments about exertion, or... Sirius, he thought he'd flip.
In the center of the room, he noticed Lily reading a book. She was sitting right beside the fire, seemingly quite absorbed until she looked up and smiled at him.
The fire? What the fuck was wrong with her? He walked over despite the heat, annoyed as he felt his cheeks sizzle.
"You feeling alright Remus?" she asked, presumably wondering why he was sweating like a forty year old man in the girls' changing room.
"Yes- are you?" he said snippily, as the heat became almost unbearable.
"Sorry?"
"Er. Never mind. Too hot. Positively feverous. Not forty, thought. Have you seen James about, by any chance?"
Lily made a noise of disgust, and reluctantly nodded. "Upstairs." she said, then looked resolutely down at her book.
Remus shot her a smile anyway. "Thanks!"
She didn't respond.
As he rushed up to the dorm, he realised he couldn't help but miss the days when had Lily considered him a friend. Now, he supposed, he was nothing more than "friend of The Prat". Or, after that little incident there, perhaps he was more like "sweating friend of The Prat", or "Acquaintance who would be friend was it not for his unfortunate habits of talking to The Prat and overheating."
Shut up, brain! He commanded.
*
"James- we need to hurry-" he called out on entry, but stopped upon realising James was not in the room. Peter's monotonous baritone came from one of the beds with its curtains drawn: "He's in the shower."
"Oh." said Remus, enjoying the chance to sit on the corner of Sirius's bed, which was nearest the door. It always felt like the comfiest bed in the room, for some reason. "What're you doing in there anyway?" he asked non comitally, anxiously wondering how long James would be.
"Nothing!" came the too-quick reply. "Why would I care if James was in the shower?"
Remus gawked at the occluded four-poster. Perhaps the heat had addled his hearing?
"Er, anyway." he began. "Something has happened. We need to take action! They've poisoned Sirius!"
"Who have?" bellowed James, from the doorframe of the bathroom, clearly just finished with the shower. He had a towel wrapped low around his hips and his hair was damp.
Remus lept up guiltily from Sirius's bed, and a funny moan came from Peter's hangings.
"Tell me everything Moony!" exclaimed the other boy, rushing over to his bed to get changed. Remus told the story as James rifled in the wardrobe for some robes.
"Right." said James thoughtfully in response. "Definitely the work of Snivellus, in my book. Don't worry mate: you and I will find out what he's done. Slippery wanker!"
Just as James reached down to take off the towel, Peter's curtain rustled suspiciously. Remus eyed the red cotton uncertainly, was sure he saw an eye, and exclaimed,
"Don't change in here!" adding as an afterthought for your own sake.
James turned round, completely starkers, and stared at him.
"Are you cracked?" he exclaimed, displaying his bits to the whole room, "Where the hell else would I change?"
Peter crooned. Like a fucking pigeon, thought Remus, who sat back down on Sirius's bed weakly, muttering something about propriety. Poor James. So violated. He could never know...
James, oblivious, got himself dressed in the meanwhile. For a long time after that, he privately thought that if he didn't know any better, he'd assume Remus fancied him.
*
"Now listen, Prongs- I'm a prefect and-" he began whilst they walked to the lake. The map had located it as Snape's whereabouts, and he was on his own.
"Oh God." James cut him off. "Not the "I'm a prefect and a diplomat" speech again?"
"Well, maybe we should try and bargain with him, before resorting to... marauding?"
"Remus! It's Padfoot." exclaimed the other, filled with the rage of a best friend who was like a brother.
"Yes, alright." he said, and could think of nothing else to say. Because it was Padfoot.
*
They were almost right in front of his nose before Snape noticed them.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, dryly from atop a tree stump. Remus wondered briefly if sitting atop tree stumps was a good way to keep cool.
"Tell us what you did." said James, simply.
Remus was really still too hot.
"Perhaps you should say please?" oozed Snape.
Positively feverous, actually.
"Perhaps I'll mash your face in!" Remus heard himself growl. James stepped back, staring at him with wide-eyed, raised-eyebrow surprise.
"Are you threatening me, Lupin?" Snape's voice was calm, unmoved. "And you a prefect, too..."
It's Padfoot.
His fist flew out before he could stop it. The blood was all the encouragement he needed to pounce, and then they were rolling, rolling down the embankment and into the lake.
*
"Tell me!" he barked, holding Snape's head under the water.
Snape mouthed something, a spell, and he felt the skin around his elbow split. More blood. Oh God, he was almost mad from the smell now... and the heat...
Bastard!
For that, he cracked Snape's head off a rock.
"Tell me!"
For the first time in... ever, Snape actually looked scared. Remus yanked him out of the water, and chucked him onto the sandy side-grass.
"It- its- Effluenza..." spluttered the black haired boy, as he coughed out his lungs.
Right.
*
"That was fucking fantastic, Moony!" exclaimed James, after telling Pomfrey some fabrication about truth or dare gone awry. He'd wound up with a scolding, and Remus, a knowing wink. Then she'd gone off to brew up the antidote.
Remus was slightly dazed.
*
When they got back to the common room, James was regaling Frank, Peter and Arthur with the tale, who were in fits. Peter clapped him on the shoulder, "Nice one, Moony!"
"Don't touch me, please." he replied, absent mindedly remembering Peter's wanking-penchant and lack of personal hygiene.
They all laughed harder, but Remus just felt like an animal.
He went to bed.
*
"Remus?" said a voice from the doorway, about an hour later.
It's Padfoot.
"Yes?" he said, sitting bolt-upright in bed.
"I'm back." said Sirius.
"Oh." he replied, his brain feeling stupid and elated.
Sirius walked over- slouch free- and sat at his feet. "It's strange." he said. "Your bed always feels a lot more comfy than mine, if you know what I mean?"
Remus was too hot. But he knew what he meant. He tried to articulate how wonderful it was that two people could sit together on a bed and each know what the other meant, but it came out as, "It's so wonderful when two people are in bed."
Oh GOD.
Unsurprisingly, there was a silence.
"Prongsie tells me you tried to drown Snivellus." began Sirius, at last.
"Yes. I had-- I have a fever. It's causing all sorts of side effects--" he began.
Sirius cut him off. "I could kiss you, for that."
"Oh." said Remus.
"I'm going to, in fact."
"Oh." he repeated.
"Now." said Sirius, who sounded nervous, so Remus leaned forward and kissed him, instead.
Their lips, teeth, tongues met. It was deep, and frantic, and Remus thought about how he felt when he wondered What If? And this was the if, only now it was actually real and his hands were tangled in Sirius's hair, Sirius who woke up and was fine, Sirius who he was obsessed with,had always been obsessed with , would always obsess over...
was here. Kissing him.
The other boy pulled away for a second, and smiled wryly, naughtily, Siriusly.
"It's much too hot in here for all these clothes, don't you think?"
Fuck yes, Remus thought.
Title: Of Heat and Fever and Other Things.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Genre: Well it's funny, but mostly fluffy.
Rating: PG-13 for the odd snog & swearword WHERE'S THE SEX, I hear you cry!
Summary and notes: A poisoning, an over-reaction, all together too much innuendo and a kiss.
*
"What's the matter, Padfoot?" he'd asked as the other boy slouched into the room. If many fixated years of Sirius-watching had taught him anything, it had had taught him this: Sirius Black did not slouch. The boy had suffered through posture lessons, standing-etiquette books, and God-knows-how-many instructions on "how one with noble bones should carry oneself".
Part of what made him so bloody appealing was his perfectly straight back, his calm, dignified poise, his never-wrinkled shirts. Remus's personal ambition in life was to make him lose this dignity, and have him writhing before him. But that was irrelevant, because something was wrong. And if Sirius wasn't happy... Remus wasn't happy.
"What's the matter? What's the matter?" repeated Sirius slightly hysterically as he chucked his rucksack over onto his bed.
"I'll tell you what's the matter! I'm bloody well sick, some sort of terrible--" Sirius stopped, seemingly lost for words, and then a huge sneeze wracked his body. He forgot his line of thought, "Oh, god I'm ill. I think I'm dying. Diseased. Deceased, even--" A-a-again. A sneeze. It made Sirius's hair flop all about the place, and Remus had to hide a smile.
"Also. I've taken on t-too many- N.E.W.T.s this year, so I can't be sick! Because If bloody Prongs-- prongs!- beats me in these exams, I think I--" Another sneeze, much like a car backfiring, "I might as well die."
And with this, Sirius Black, first time sloucher, collapsed.
"Shite!" exclaimed Remus, and leapt to his feet.
*
"For the last time, Lupin-- we do not know the cause of Mr. Black's situation! Yet! Professor Slughorn is looking into it."
"Professor Slughorn?" Remus repeated, stupidly.
"Yes. He suspects that some foul play has occurred here. A little potions joke, perhaps-" Here, Pomfrey stopped, and looked thoughtful. She shot Remus a wide smile that was entirely too reminiscent of a crocodile, in his opinion.
"You know, dear... If you knew of a prank, for instance, that may have gotten out of hand... you could always tell me." Her arm slunk round Remus's shoulder, and he tried desperately to edge away politely. "You can tell me anything, you know. I just want to get to the bottom of this, you know. I just want Sirius to get well, you know."
Remus did know, but said nothing on the matter: he was thinking. Potions led to Slytherin, and Slytherin led to Snape, and Snape... well. There was no need to clarify where Snape led. Yoda said it best, after all.
This would have to be dealt with.
Pomfrey obviously thought she was on to a winner here, and had taken Remus's silence to mean that he was wracked with guilt.
She spoke gently, "Perhaps, you need to go for a walk? Collect your thoughts?"
There was a silence, and then she added, "What if he never wakes up?"
Whatifhe-
Oh, he'd go for a walk all right. Right over Severus Snape's bloody head!
At this, he nodded mutely in Pomfrey's direction, and headed back to Gryffindor tower.
James. For this, he would need James.
*
He ran all the way from the medical room, and so by the time he reached the Fat Lady- and company- he was flushed and out of breath.
"Sirius been tiring you out, darling?" cooed Violet, the Fat lady's friend. Both women giggled hugely, though the Fat Lady made a great show of "shushing" her friend.
"Excuse me?" Remus shrieked, his face going even redder. Why wasn't this castly drafty? It was a bloody castle, after all.
"Nothing, nothing dearie." Said the fat lady non-comitally, whilst Violet made a lewd hand gesture in front of her mouth. Remus was scandalised, and before the portrait had swung away completely he caught sight of Violet writhing, supposedly in the throes of passion, calling out "Sirius! Baaaby!" and heard the Fat Lady's screams of laughter.
Fabulous, he thought. Even the bloody pictures know that he's obsessed.
*
The little red common room was too hot today, which aggravated Remus's mood further. If anyone made any other comments about exertion, or... Sirius, he thought he'd flip.
In the center of the room, he noticed Lily reading a book. She was sitting right beside the fire, seemingly quite absorbed until she looked up and smiled at him.
The fire? What the fuck was wrong with her? He walked over despite the heat, annoyed as he felt his cheeks sizzle.
"You feeling alright Remus?" she asked, presumably wondering why he was sweating like a forty year old man in the girls' changing room.
"Yes- are you?" he said snippily, as the heat became almost unbearable.
"Sorry?"
"Er. Never mind. Too hot. Positively feverous. Not forty, thought. Have you seen James about, by any chance?"
Lily made a noise of disgust, and reluctantly nodded. "Upstairs." she said, then looked resolutely down at her book.
Remus shot her a smile anyway. "Thanks!"
She didn't respond.
As he rushed up to the dorm, he realised he couldn't help but miss the days when had Lily considered him a friend. Now, he supposed, he was nothing more than "friend of The Prat". Or, after that little incident there, perhaps he was more like "sweating friend of The Prat", or "Acquaintance who would be friend was it not for his unfortunate habits of talking to The Prat and overheating."
Shut up, brain! He commanded.
*
"James- we need to hurry-" he called out on entry, but stopped upon realising James was not in the room. Peter's monotonous baritone came from one of the beds with its curtains drawn: "He's in the shower."
"Oh." said Remus, enjoying the chance to sit on the corner of Sirius's bed, which was nearest the door. It always felt like the comfiest bed in the room, for some reason. "What're you doing in there anyway?" he asked non comitally, anxiously wondering how long James would be.
"Nothing!" came the too-quick reply. "Why would I care if James was in the shower?"
Remus gawked at the occluded four-poster. Perhaps the heat had addled his hearing?
"Er, anyway." he began. "Something has happened. We need to take action! They've poisoned Sirius!"
"Who have?" bellowed James, from the doorframe of the bathroom, clearly just finished with the shower. He had a towel wrapped low around his hips and his hair was damp.
Remus lept up guiltily from Sirius's bed, and a funny moan came from Peter's hangings.
"Tell me everything Moony!" exclaimed the other boy, rushing over to his bed to get changed. Remus told the story as James rifled in the wardrobe for some robes.
"Right." said James thoughtfully in response. "Definitely the work of Snivellus, in my book. Don't worry mate: you and I will find out what he's done. Slippery wanker!"
Just as James reached down to take off the towel, Peter's curtain rustled suspiciously. Remus eyed the red cotton uncertainly, was sure he saw an eye, and exclaimed,
"Don't change in here!" adding as an afterthought for your own sake.
James turned round, completely starkers, and stared at him.
"Are you cracked?" he exclaimed, displaying his bits to the whole room, "Where the hell else would I change?"
Peter crooned. Like a fucking pigeon, thought Remus, who sat back down on Sirius's bed weakly, muttering something about propriety. Poor James. So violated. He could never know...
James, oblivious, got himself dressed in the meanwhile. For a long time after that, he privately thought that if he didn't know any better, he'd assume Remus fancied him.
*
"Now listen, Prongs- I'm a prefect and-" he began whilst they walked to the lake. The map had located it as Snape's whereabouts, and he was on his own.
"Oh God." James cut him off. "Not the "I'm a prefect and a diplomat" speech again?"
"Well, maybe we should try and bargain with him, before resorting to... marauding?"
"Remus! It's Padfoot." exclaimed the other, filled with the rage of a best friend who was like a brother.
"Yes, alright." he said, and could think of nothing else to say. Because it was Padfoot.
*
They were almost right in front of his nose before Snape noticed them.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, dryly from atop a tree stump. Remus wondered briefly if sitting atop tree stumps was a good way to keep cool.
"Tell us what you did." said James, simply.
Remus was really still too hot.
"Perhaps you should say please?" oozed Snape.
Positively feverous, actually.
"Perhaps I'll mash your face in!" Remus heard himself growl. James stepped back, staring at him with wide-eyed, raised-eyebrow surprise.
"Are you threatening me, Lupin?" Snape's voice was calm, unmoved. "And you a prefect, too..."
It's Padfoot.
His fist flew out before he could stop it. The blood was all the encouragement he needed to pounce, and then they were rolling, rolling down the embankment and into the lake.
*
"Tell me!" he barked, holding Snape's head under the water.
Snape mouthed something, a spell, and he felt the skin around his elbow split. More blood. Oh God, he was almost mad from the smell now... and the heat...
Bastard!
For that, he cracked Snape's head off a rock.
"Tell me!"
For the first time in... ever, Snape actually looked scared. Remus yanked him out of the water, and chucked him onto the sandy side-grass.
"It- its- Effluenza..." spluttered the black haired boy, as he coughed out his lungs.
Right.
*
"That was fucking fantastic, Moony!" exclaimed James, after telling Pomfrey some fabrication about truth or dare gone awry. He'd wound up with a scolding, and Remus, a knowing wink. Then she'd gone off to brew up the antidote.
Remus was slightly dazed.
*
When they got back to the common room, James was regaling Frank, Peter and Arthur with the tale, who were in fits. Peter clapped him on the shoulder, "Nice one, Moony!"
"Don't touch me, please." he replied, absent mindedly remembering Peter's wanking-penchant and lack of personal hygiene.
They all laughed harder, but Remus just felt like an animal.
He went to bed.
*
"Remus?" said a voice from the doorway, about an hour later.
It's Padfoot.
"Yes?" he said, sitting bolt-upright in bed.
"I'm back." said Sirius.
"Oh." he replied, his brain feeling stupid and elated.
Sirius walked over- slouch free- and sat at his feet. "It's strange." he said. "Your bed always feels a lot more comfy than mine, if you know what I mean?"
Remus was too hot. But he knew what he meant. He tried to articulate how wonderful it was that two people could sit together on a bed and each know what the other meant, but it came out as, "It's so wonderful when two people are in bed."
Oh GOD.
Unsurprisingly, there was a silence.
"Prongsie tells me you tried to drown Snivellus." began Sirius, at last.
"Yes. I had-- I have a fever. It's causing all sorts of side effects--" he began.
Sirius cut him off. "I could kiss you, for that."
"Oh." said Remus.
"I'm going to, in fact."
"Oh." he repeated.
"Now." said Sirius, who sounded nervous, so Remus leaned forward and kissed him, instead.
Their lips, teeth, tongues met. It was deep, and frantic, and Remus thought about how he felt when he wondered What If? And this was the if, only now it was actually real and his hands were tangled in Sirius's hair, Sirius who woke up and was fine, Sirius who he was obsessed with,had always been obsessed with , would always obsess over...
was here. Kissing him.
The other boy pulled away for a second, and smiled wryly, naughtily, Siriusly.
"It's much too hot in here for all these clothes, don't you think?"
Fuck yes, Remus thought.