ahhhhh
On paper, things should be crazy and stressful right now. I've spent the last week in a pain and drug induced lazy haze. There are some school issues that are very worrying. My best friend is sad and I can't make her feel better. I have to spend literally thousands of dollars on dentist stuff. The stuff with my teeth was a very good excuse to go off of Weight Watchers and thus I have not lost the weight I have wanted to (for YEARS!). My room is beyond a mess and I have no desire to be in any way productive. There is nothing new or exciting going on, and nothing too groovy to look forward to. Normally about half of this would be reason enough to make me feel sad and hopeless and endlessly worried.
But I don't feel any of that today. I feel like everything will work out. God is good and He takes care of me. His plan for my life is better and more exciting than anything I could dream up- even though marrying Zac Hanson and traveling the world sounds like a pretty good plan to me;) My nephew (whom, on the night he was born, I was sure would not make it) is now 2 and 1/2 and can count to 10 in Spanish. My brother is hilarious and loyal and good. My sisters will always be my best friends. I get to live with my best friends. I am so much better in mind and heart than I was two years ago. I was able to eat strawberry waffles today without it hurting. Church was good, and communion was amazing for me. There is really good music and there are great (and wonderfully bad)movies to enjoy and get choked up over. My friends and I have enough inside jokes to make me laugh and feel involved for the rest of my life- but we can also have great and inspiring conversations without laughing much at all. I can still go to my mom's and have someone take care of me and baby me and make me Jan's eggnog. And the best thing is, God is taking care of everyone I love too, even if they are having a hard or confusing time. I may not feel so positive tomorrow (when the alarm goes off at 6:30!) and I am sure there will be times when I get depressed and full out Rachel-style-pissy, but for tonight I know that life is better than I could ever realize and I am happy.
I hope you all have nights like this:)
But I don't feel any of that today. I feel like everything will work out. God is good and He takes care of me. His plan for my life is better and more exciting than anything I could dream up- even though marrying Zac Hanson and traveling the world sounds like a pretty good plan to me;) My nephew (whom, on the night he was born, I was sure would not make it) is now 2 and 1/2 and can count to 10 in Spanish. My brother is hilarious and loyal and good. My sisters will always be my best friends. I get to live with my best friends. I am so much better in mind and heart than I was two years ago. I was able to eat strawberry waffles today without it hurting. Church was good, and communion was amazing for me. There is really good music and there are great (and wonderfully bad)movies to enjoy and get choked up over. My friends and I have enough inside jokes to make me laugh and feel involved for the rest of my life- but we can also have great and inspiring conversations without laughing much at all. I can still go to my mom's and have someone take care of me and baby me and make me Jan's eggnog. And the best thing is, God is taking care of everyone I love too, even if they are having a hard or confusing time. I may not feel so positive tomorrow (when the alarm goes off at 6:30!) and I am sure there will be times when I get depressed and full out Rachel-style-pissy, but for tonight I know that life is better than I could ever realize and I am happy.
I hope you all have nights like this:)