(no subject)
i feel as if im living in one big mtv scam, i mean shit, this is just all to perfectly tragic and all too convenient. tony and i had been fighting, and then i finally meet the neighbor who happens to be everything ive ever dreamed of, or more or less, everything i wished tony would have been like.but here comes my own personal tradegdy, his willingness to love was crushed by a pass relationship and hes 29 and cant get past my age, and granted i know his fears and concerns and his knowledge that i will change as a person and potentially not be who i am right now, especially seeing as how im in a pivotal point in my life with my harlequin romance slowing dying around me. i feel so stupid for believing that tony wanted to marry me, i also feel really stupid for leaving my life in roanoke behind.
and im drinking badly again, and im finding myself having pain inflicted on me and i hardly react to it.
they called me masochistic the other night, and maybe i am, i feel broken, lost, anxious, childish, worthless, jealous, disgusting, sad, and happy about all of it ending.
and im drinking badly again, and im finding myself having pain inflicted on me and i hardly react to it.
they called me masochistic the other night, and maybe i am, i feel broken, lost, anxious, childish, worthless, jealous, disgusting, sad, and happy about all of it ending.