How can I go from such euphoria to such despair so quickly? From feeling so not alone to feeling so alone? From feeling so solid and stable to feeling so melted and shaky
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I took theatre in 10th grade... ask emma and katrina.. they were there. I don't recall knowing u till mrs floreanis class. remember??.. travis and I and u and jennifer bragman?...
once this year I was imed by her saying she's had a crush on me
Well now... I was pointed in the direction of this particular entry and I'd just like to say that it's all good and don't worry about it.. no hard feelings. ::hugs::
By whom, might I ask? I mean this only in an honest way and not a mean way: That apology was to you for me. I wasn't expecting any hard feelings because they're irrelevant. It's got nothing to do with you. It's how I feel about what I wrote to everyone.
Lucas (again) (doesanyoneknow)- I think I now have the strength for this. "This" being everything and anything you can think of. I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed. I'm sorry I didn't provide the drama. I'm sorry I was too normal or too unfucked up.
shush you.
I'm sorry you couldn't see me for all that I am.
not half as sorry as me.
I'm sorry that I still have to have you as my friend.
eh, i think i'll live.
I'm sorry I wasn't Debbi. I'm sorry I wasn't Rachel. I'm sorry you'll probably misinterpret that along with the rest of the world, even though you'll misinterpret it differently.
i probably am misinterpreting it. and you know what? i'm angry at that statement. i'm angry because you aren't accepting yourself for who you are. at least that's how this appears. i wouldn't want you as rachel, nor as debbi. i want you as najla. plain and simple. najla. nothing more and nothing less.
I'm sorry you and Ruth had a falling out.
"eh shit happens." er wait.... you never know what will happen.
shush you. You said it yourself. I'll say what I please in my own damned journal.
not half as sorry as me. Fuck you.
eh, i think i'll live. Who the hell said that had anything to do with you living? Or even anything to do with you at all?
i probably am misinterpreting it. and you know what? i'm angry at that statement. i'm angry because you aren't accepting yourself for who you are. at least that's how this appears. i wouldn't want you as rachel, nor as debbi. i want you as najla. plain and simple. najla. nothing more and nothing less. Get over it. It's not about acceptance. It's not about me wanting to be anyone else. And I don't give a damn what you want. I'm too busy being pissed off at you for the last few statements you wrote.
"eh shit happens." er wait.... you never know what will happen. That doesn't make me any less sorry.
it's alright. i don't think i've actually been untired(is that a word?) since long before you knew me. i'm used to it and i'll rebound. you don't need to be sorry for it.Again, that doesn't make me any
( ... )
I was appalled too, but I expect you picked up on that.
You replied again in response to my response, but it was on AIM. I still have it, but it's at home. Maybe I'll post it so that you can see it, if you like.
There's no need to apologize, really. I've always loved you, for just the way you've been and the changes that I've seen in you. I'm equally sure that a lot of who I am has a lot to do with you.
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and i think we are pretty good friends.
(what class did we have in 9th grade? or did we??)
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Thanks.
If I'm not mistaken we had theater together...
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once this year I was imed by her saying she's had a crush on me
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I mean this only in an honest way and not a mean way: That apology was to you for me. I wasn't expecting any hard feelings because they're irrelevant.
It's got nothing to do with you. It's how I feel about what I wrote to everyone.
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shush you.
I'm sorry you couldn't see me for all that I am.
not half as sorry as me.
I'm sorry that I still have to have you as my friend.
eh, i think i'll live.
I'm sorry I wasn't Debbi. I'm sorry I wasn't Rachel. I'm sorry you'll probably misinterpret that along with the rest of the world, even though you'll misinterpret it differently.
i probably am misinterpreting it. and you know what? i'm angry at that statement. i'm angry because you aren't accepting yourself for who you are. at least that's how this appears. i wouldn't want you as rachel, nor as debbi. i want you as najla. plain and simple. najla. nothing more and nothing less.
I'm sorry you and Ruth had a falling out.
"eh shit happens." er wait.... you never know what will happen.
I take back that first ( ... )
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You said it yourself. I'll say what I please in my own damned journal.
not half as sorry as me.
Fuck you.
eh, i think i'll live.
Who the hell said that had anything to do with you living? Or even anything to do with you at all?
i probably am misinterpreting it. and you know what? i'm angry at that statement. i'm angry because you aren't accepting yourself for who you are. at least that's how this appears. i wouldn't want you as rachel, nor as debbi. i want you as najla. plain and simple. najla. nothing more and nothing less.
Get over it. It's not about acceptance. It's not about me wanting to be anyone else. And I don't give a damn what you want. I'm too busy being pissed off at you for the last few statements you wrote.
"eh shit happens." er wait.... you never know what will happen.
That doesn't make me any less sorry.
it's alright. i don't think i've actually been untired(is that a word?) since long before you knew me. i'm used to it and i'll rebound. you don't need to be sorry for it.Again, that doesn't make me any ( ... )
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I read my response.
I was appalled.
Thank you for the intarwebz smack down you gave me.
I've changed so much, and I'm willing to bet a lot of it is because of you. For that, I thank you, and I apologize for who I was.
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You replied again in response to my response, but it was on AIM. I still have it, but it's at home. Maybe I'll post it so that you can see it, if you like.
There's no need to apologize, really. I've always loved you, for just the way you've been and the changes that I've seen in you. I'm equally sure that a lot of who I am has a lot to do with you.
So many.
♥
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Soon. I think I desperately need cookies, mainly because they're comforting.
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Tonight, I'm so glad that you're my friend...
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