Saval Chronicles [3]
Verse 2 must be read before you embark on this latest entry of wonder and goodness, else what you will witness on this page will make very little (or, littler) sense than it should.
The great adventure of darkwings08 and yours truly continues. And introducing, in her first starring role, silentdizo !! Welcome, welcome to your dungeon. If there's anything you require please don't hesitate to scream, coz, unlike space, we will hear you!
Disclaimer: This is all for shits and giggles, written by me when a plotbunny whacked me over the head with a spoon of epic proportions. All characters mentioned in this piece (not including Sa and I) are only used for fun, same applies to all quotes posted: no copyright infringement was intended at all and no offence was meant. All ideas for freakishly weirdo plotlines were taken from actual conversations between darkwings08 and I... some things were just born out of my tired, overworked and incredibly random brain.
Made purely for enjoyment so... go forth and enjoy!
BE WARNED this part is epically long, very random and may contain traces of nuts.
--~*~--
Verse 3 - Diz
--~*~--
…”We need… Diz!”
Yes, we do, and you will too once you know who she is. I believe that she deserves a formal introduction. Not a small one either, not like “Alice, this is the pudding, pudding, this is Alice.”, but something befitting the person that she is.
She is known by many names: Dizo, Diz, her full and epically awesome name that cannot be published due to copyright rights that I cannot afford to pay, the letter J that represents her middle name, and also as someone who is young, full of life, upbeat, annoying as all hell yet terribly loveable.
Someone wise once said that you cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. That, in my opinion, is a load of marshmallow-covered waffles. With cream. I quite freely chose Diz as a sibling and she seems to have accepted me as one as well - although what was going through her head at the time I cannot begin to imagine. I didn’t, however, choose Sa as a sibling. The Tentacle made us twins, and twins is how we shall stay. One of those times when I say a very proud, British-accented “bollocks” to people who hate their siblings. I am rather fond of mine.
Diz is the youngest of us, the one who argues with me most, who agrees wholeheartedly with me, be it on the topic that our fandom should be more adored by the world or that I am, indeed, a douche. An adopted sibling and a friend. Sometimes I want to hug her, sometimes I want to feed her to happy fluffy pink bunnies of candyfloss. As you do.
Now, where were we? Oh yes.
“We need… Diz!”
Sa thinks on this for a moment. “That kid you keep randomly bringing up in conversations?”
“Yes!”
“The one who hates knowing stuff before it happens?”
“Yes!”
“The one who…”
“YES! We need Diz. And I shall phone her and recruit her soon! After I take a shower.” I am true to my word and leave.
What follows is the accurate description of what happened, as seen through the eyes of a passing dust mote. This brave mote now lives on my table under a glass, where the air-con can’t get it. Let us proceed.
Sa decides that simply staring into space while Val is in the shower is a rather boring idea, as Val is notorious for taking her time. Instead, she decides to summon this mythical “Diz” person for herself, to save Val the cost of an international telepath.
She gets up, making her way to the kitchen. There, she gets a large, shiny, silver knife and a huge jar of jam. With these instruments in hand, she returns to her position. Then changes her mind and walks through Val’s imagination into the big room with the big table and big window.
There, she makes a space on the table and sets the knife down carefully, never taking her eyes off it. After a few minutes of mentally preparing herself she closes her eyes, her mouth moving quickly with voiceless incantations. The tension in the room increases. Sa blindly holds up the jar of jam in her hands. If this were a high-budget story like Lord of the Rings, some special effects would happen at this point. Lightning would strike, thunder would roll, little animals would run around in a panic, shuffling the already messy papers on the table even more. However, as we operate on a student income, nothing happens.
Suddenly, Sa opens her eyes. She is ready.
This is where I walk in.
“Dude, I swear if I didn’t know any better, I would say showers are better than sex. But, as I do know better…” I stop. Not only because Sa is in MY imagination, but also because of the sight before me. I gasp.
“SA!!”
There is a long silence, in which I can feel my heart beat not only in my chest, but also in my throat, my ears and, for an unexplained reason, my feet. I catch a passing dust mote and pocket it. Entertainment for later.
“Sa, you totally screwed up my table!!”
Sa looks at me innocently as she experimentally licks jam off her hand.
“What did I do?”
“You tell me, what in all things yaoi were you TRYING to do?”
“I was gonna summon Diz to save you the telepath. International telepath prices rise each day, if you don’t follow the news.”
“…then why is there jam all over the table, all over the floor and all over you? And what’s with the big knife?”
“Summoning circle.” Sa shrugs as she continues to devour jam from her fingers.
“…what’s with the big knife?”
“Oh… the jar wouldn’t open.”
I blink a few times. Then let my jaw slowly shut closed. This could be worse. Sa trying to summon Diz using a jam-circle is the least of my worries. The fact that she could have not only read the papers on the table, but also walked into a totally different room in my imagination is what makes my heart fully migrate to my throat. My eyes flick to the door only a few feet from where the big table is, and back.
“So, er… did it work?”
“I would say no, as the energies of myself and the person I was summoning did not match, thus the equilibrium between us could not be established and the time-space continuum would not open for her to pass through. Either that, or she really hates cherry jam.”
“That epically sucks rat butt.” I say, nodding. I have no idea what she just said. Except the last part, because it does epically suck if someone doesn’t like cherry jam. Everyone likes cherry jam.
“Thus I believe that the only way to summon this “Diz” of yours is to call her. Dial 1080 before you call, it will make all calls to America cost 2c a minute.” She suggests helpfully.
I’m about to reply when there is a crash in the next room. A muffled “ouch” followed by a quiet “oh man!!” Then silence.
I pale. Sa glances to the door then at me. Then back at the door. Then at me.
“Don’t tell me you’re keeping them in there now?”
“Shut up.”
“Whatever floats your boat.” She says with a smirk. She gathers up the big knife and the jam jar - which now has very little jam in it - and stands, mouthing “throw them some handcuffs” before she leaves my imagination.
“THEY ALREADY HAVE SOME” I yell, knowing she can’t hear me.
I wait a few seconds before walking briskly to the door and throwing it open.
“They threw me out…” Diz complains quietly, trying to pull weakly at the second door that is held fast - I know - not only by a lock but also by my sheer willpower. I knew installing two doors to the cellar was worth the emptiness of my pocket. Without a word I grab her collar and drag her, whining quietly, out of the big room with the big table and the big window.
“What the hell man??” I say when we’re safe in my room again. I carefully place the dust more under a glass.
“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me away from the best fanfic I’m NEVER gonna finish. Then dropped me into one of the best waking dreams one can imagine then yanked me here.” She glares. This glare isn’t a sibling thing. It’s a “you just interrupted my yaoi-reading” glare. And it hurts.
“Do you hate me that much?” I whisper, knowing my criminal good looks have to be working in my favour. If not then I’ll drive her around in the car for a bit playing good music. If THAT doesn’t work then so help me I will write her a fic myself.
Diz melts.
“Noooo. Something’s wrong though. Why’d you summon me with cherry jam?”
“I didn’t. Sa did.”
“Sa? That random girl you keep bringing up in conversations?”
“Yes.”
“That person who sends you the spoilers you tempt me with?”
“Yes.”
“The one who…”
“YESTHAT’SHEROK?WECALLEDYOUHEREFORAREASONSOPLEASEJUSTLISTEN.”
“…eh?”
“Good.”
I take advantage of the silence. Taking a deep breath I tell Diz the most important thing that she will hear for a long time.
“You have the power to save Dave.”
The epicness continues in Verse 4
The great adventure of darkwings08 and yours truly continues. And introducing, in her first starring role, silentdizo !! Welcome, welcome to your dungeon. If there's anything you require please don't hesitate to scream, coz, unlike space, we will hear you!
Disclaimer: This is all for shits and giggles, written by me when a plotbunny whacked me over the head with a spoon of epic proportions. All characters mentioned in this piece (not including Sa and I) are only used for fun, same applies to all quotes posted: no copyright infringement was intended at all and no offence was meant. All ideas for freakishly weirdo plotlines were taken from actual conversations between darkwings08 and I... some things were just born out of my tired, overworked and incredibly random brain.
Made purely for enjoyment so... go forth and enjoy!
BE WARNED this part is epically long, very random and may contain traces of nuts.
--~*~--
Verse 3 - Diz
--~*~--
…”We need… Diz!”
Yes, we do, and you will too once you know who she is. I believe that she deserves a formal introduction. Not a small one either, not like “Alice, this is the pudding, pudding, this is Alice.”, but something befitting the person that she is.
She is known by many names: Dizo, Diz, her full and epically awesome name that cannot be published due to copyright rights that I cannot afford to pay, the letter J that represents her middle name, and also as someone who is young, full of life, upbeat, annoying as all hell yet terribly loveable.
Someone wise once said that you cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. That, in my opinion, is a load of marshmallow-covered waffles. With cream. I quite freely chose Diz as a sibling and she seems to have accepted me as one as well - although what was going through her head at the time I cannot begin to imagine. I didn’t, however, choose Sa as a sibling. The Tentacle made us twins, and twins is how we shall stay. One of those times when I say a very proud, British-accented “bollocks” to people who hate their siblings. I am rather fond of mine.
Diz is the youngest of us, the one who argues with me most, who agrees wholeheartedly with me, be it on the topic that our fandom should be more adored by the world or that I am, indeed, a douche. An adopted sibling and a friend. Sometimes I want to hug her, sometimes I want to feed her to happy fluffy pink bunnies of candyfloss. As you do.
Now, where were we? Oh yes.
“We need… Diz!”
Sa thinks on this for a moment. “That kid you keep randomly bringing up in conversations?”
“Yes!”
“The one who hates knowing stuff before it happens?”
“Yes!”
“The one who…”
“YES! We need Diz. And I shall phone her and recruit her soon! After I take a shower.” I am true to my word and leave.
What follows is the accurate description of what happened, as seen through the eyes of a passing dust mote. This brave mote now lives on my table under a glass, where the air-con can’t get it. Let us proceed.
Sa decides that simply staring into space while Val is in the shower is a rather boring idea, as Val is notorious for taking her time. Instead, she decides to summon this mythical “Diz” person for herself, to save Val the cost of an international telepath.
She gets up, making her way to the kitchen. There, she gets a large, shiny, silver knife and a huge jar of jam. With these instruments in hand, she returns to her position. Then changes her mind and walks through Val’s imagination into the big room with the big table and big window.
There, she makes a space on the table and sets the knife down carefully, never taking her eyes off it. After a few minutes of mentally preparing herself she closes her eyes, her mouth moving quickly with voiceless incantations. The tension in the room increases. Sa blindly holds up the jar of jam in her hands. If this were a high-budget story like Lord of the Rings, some special effects would happen at this point. Lightning would strike, thunder would roll, little animals would run around in a panic, shuffling the already messy papers on the table even more. However, as we operate on a student income, nothing happens.
Suddenly, Sa opens her eyes. She is ready.
This is where I walk in.
“Dude, I swear if I didn’t know any better, I would say showers are better than sex. But, as I do know better…” I stop. Not only because Sa is in MY imagination, but also because of the sight before me. I gasp.
“SA!!”
There is a long silence, in which I can feel my heart beat not only in my chest, but also in my throat, my ears and, for an unexplained reason, my feet. I catch a passing dust mote and pocket it. Entertainment for later.
“Sa, you totally screwed up my table!!”
Sa looks at me innocently as she experimentally licks jam off her hand.
“What did I do?”
“You tell me, what in all things yaoi were you TRYING to do?”
“I was gonna summon Diz to save you the telepath. International telepath prices rise each day, if you don’t follow the news.”
“…then why is there jam all over the table, all over the floor and all over you? And what’s with the big knife?”
“Summoning circle.” Sa shrugs as she continues to devour jam from her fingers.
“…what’s with the big knife?”
“Oh… the jar wouldn’t open.”
I blink a few times. Then let my jaw slowly shut closed. This could be worse. Sa trying to summon Diz using a jam-circle is the least of my worries. The fact that she could have not only read the papers on the table, but also walked into a totally different room in my imagination is what makes my heart fully migrate to my throat. My eyes flick to the door only a few feet from where the big table is, and back.
“So, er… did it work?”
“I would say no, as the energies of myself and the person I was summoning did not match, thus the equilibrium between us could not be established and the time-space continuum would not open for her to pass through. Either that, or she really hates cherry jam.”
“That epically sucks rat butt.” I say, nodding. I have no idea what she just said. Except the last part, because it does epically suck if someone doesn’t like cherry jam. Everyone likes cherry jam.
“Thus I believe that the only way to summon this “Diz” of yours is to call her. Dial 1080 before you call, it will make all calls to America cost 2c a minute.” She suggests helpfully.
I’m about to reply when there is a crash in the next room. A muffled “ouch” followed by a quiet “oh man!!” Then silence.
I pale. Sa glances to the door then at me. Then back at the door. Then at me.
“Don’t tell me you’re keeping them in there now?”
“Shut up.”
“Whatever floats your boat.” She says with a smirk. She gathers up the big knife and the jam jar - which now has very little jam in it - and stands, mouthing “throw them some handcuffs” before she leaves my imagination.
“THEY ALREADY HAVE SOME” I yell, knowing she can’t hear me.
I wait a few seconds before walking briskly to the door and throwing it open.
“They threw me out…” Diz complains quietly, trying to pull weakly at the second door that is held fast - I know - not only by a lock but also by my sheer willpower. I knew installing two doors to the cellar was worth the emptiness of my pocket. Without a word I grab her collar and drag her, whining quietly, out of the big room with the big table and the big window.
“What the hell man??” I say when we’re safe in my room again. I carefully place the dust more under a glass.
“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me away from the best fanfic I’m NEVER gonna finish. Then dropped me into one of the best waking dreams one can imagine then yanked me here.” She glares. This glare isn’t a sibling thing. It’s a “you just interrupted my yaoi-reading” glare. And it hurts.
“Do you hate me that much?” I whisper, knowing my criminal good looks have to be working in my favour. If not then I’ll drive her around in the car for a bit playing good music. If THAT doesn’t work then so help me I will write her a fic myself.
Diz melts.
“Noooo. Something’s wrong though. Why’d you summon me with cherry jam?”
“I didn’t. Sa did.”
“Sa? That random girl you keep bringing up in conversations?”
“Yes.”
“That person who sends you the spoilers you tempt me with?”
“Yes.”
“The one who…”
“YESTHAT’SHEROK?WECALLEDYOUHEREFORAREASONSOPLEASEJUSTLISTEN.”
“…eh?”
“Good.”
I take advantage of the silence. Taking a deep breath I tell Diz the most important thing that she will hear for a long time.
“You have the power to save Dave.”
The epicness continues in Verse 4