Last Call (Objects May Be Other Than They Appear) [BtVS/AtS; Xander, Cordelia]
Title: Last Call (Objects May Be Other Than They Appear)
Author: gratefulundead
Summary: Xander receives an unexpected visit from Cordelia
Rating: PG
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Warnings: AU after "Chosen", as defined by the original fic.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for most of both series, fic takes place post season 7 of Buffy and during Season 5 of Angel.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Last Call, by magelette.
South Africa wasn’t so bad really. It was about as hot as good old Sunnydale, but he wouldn’t really have minded that (he’d sort of missed the sun while in England) if he hadn’t been alone here. Well, not alone, he was surrounded by about two dozen fresh slayers. He would have liked South Africa a whole lot more if she’d been with him. That is what it was always like though, even before. He was so incredibly used to Willow being around, that when she wasn’t he missed her more than the eye missing from its socket in his skull. Things didn’t seem quite real, almost, unless she was around to see them with him. He guessed that made sense since, before their hometown had become a giant crater, she always had been. And now, well there was all the more reason to feel that way. So he was happy to think about how soon they would be reunited, only a few weeks now, as he read the parenting book that Giles had sent. Xander wasn’t sure if the sending was a recrimination or a sort of tacit approval, but either way it was totally Giles to do it via book, and he knew he had better not show up back in England without being able to pass a quiz on the subject.
The phone rang and he wasn’t really sure who the speaker was until she mentioned Cordy’s name. He’d never met Fred, but Willow had mentioned her a few times. Her voice was a little nervous as she gave him the sad news, and Xander didn’t know what to say. The idea of Cordelia Chase being dead just seemed so odd, unreal. So he thanked her and got off the phone quickly, trying to get back into the reading he’d been doing beforehand, but that was more useless than trying to concentrate on math without Willow’s help had been back in high school.
To be honest, when the room chilled suddenly and Xander recognized the signs of astral projection (hey, having a witch for your everything made a guy notice these things), he was expecting Willow, hoping for Willow.
Cordelia was complete surprise, but an unexpectedly nice one. They’d parted on not entirely terrible terms, but she’d been at a low point and it was nice to see her, nice to know he warranted this last visit. She didn’t blink at his eye patch, or make fun of him (he almost wished she would, but they were past that now). She just relaxed against him and it was sort of nice to know that all was right between them after all this time, and nicer to know that he hadn’t been utterly forgotten. He was sort of surprised that he ranked this high, honestly.
Then her eyes darted to the book, and he was overcome with guilt. Major, wish you could bury your head in the sand and never look back up kind of guilt. How did you tell your dead ex-girlfriend that the girl you cheated on her with… well she really was the one? He still felt sort of shitty about having cheated on Cordy and the look on her face as she discovered him doing it. The fact that it led to her getting impaled… well that didn’t help either.
“Expecting someone?” She asked it so completely without irony or bitterness and he couldn’t bring himself to remind her of the worst part of their history. So he babbled.
“We’re expecting someone in a few months. Me and Wills. And Buff. We-“ He blushed. “After the Hellmouth…and the Slayers…and Spike…” Smooth Xander, smooth. He finished helplessly, trying to move away from the subject at hand, “Y’know that Sunnydale’s gone, right?”
She sat next to him, gentle and warm, completely unlike the girl he’d loved and hated back in high school.
“Angel filled me in. Some guy named Andrew came to visit last week or something.”
She looked down at her fingernails, like she was the one with something to be sorry for. He wondered if maybe she knew about him and Willow and the threesome with Buffy that had led to awkward avoiding, which had led to finally realizing he was totally in love with Willow after all these years, which it turned out was fortunate since they were going to be parents. He wished Cordy would call him on it.
She didn’t though, she just added softly, “They told me about Anya. And…Willow’s girlfriend?”
Because death and breakups were totally the same. He didn’t want to go into it. He felt sort of bad about Anya and how he’d failed her as well. Seriously, how did he keep getting and then screwing over such incredibly hot chicks? He had to remind himself that it was at an end now.
“Yeah. After the whole thing…me’n Wills…and Buffy…and hey, lesbians don’t need birth control, so…” That much was true and he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to say what came next. Somehow it just seemed wrong, so once again he changed the subject, “But you’re here, and you’re not-“
He knew it would make her leave, even as he said it, but it was better than an ugly scene. Her smile was sad, without the restraint and effort of her forced ones in days gone by.
“Just came to say goodbye. The PTB let me have two calls, so I figured you deserved one, even if you did impale me on a piece of rebar.”
Now came the forced smile. He imagined his was the same.
“Too late to say sorry, huh? I’m not gonna wish that it never happened, ‘cause we know how that ends up.” He didn’t mention that it definitely had planted the seed in his head of things that were important later or that they never would have worked out anyway and that at least he didn’t leave her at the altar, which was a best case scenario with him.
“So whatcha gonna name the baby?” He was relieved for her to let the awkward memory slide past them so easily.
“Wynn if it’s a girl. It means Joy in Old English.” He sounded like a robot to himself. “Or Jesse if it’s a boy. Buffster kept saying we should name him William or Rupert, but I told her she had to wait for her own kid.”
Also Willow said it was bad luck to name for the living. Then she and Buffy had argued about whether Spike counted as alive, being a vampire and all. Somehow it seemed better to keep it simple in explanation though. Cordy wasn’t part of any of it anymore, and details just seemed to highlight that.
“You’ll be a great dad. It should be a lot easier than a brain-sucking egg baby.”
Was the doubt in his voice that obvious? Still it was surreal to have this conversation. They were a long way from the kids they’d once been back in Sunnydale. Still, he hadn’t sought his family out yet. He wasn’t sure whether he was going to or not. Everything was new now and about to be more new. The baby didn’t need the kind of dysfunction his family was full of. Willow hadn’t talked to her mom either. Sometimes, you can’t go back. That was how he knew this conversation was limited; it was like a little pocket of the past. So he tried for the old easy tone.
He turned his head towards her, kissing her cheek. “You have way too much faith in me, Cordy. You always did.”
“Because you deserved it, dork.” She squeezed his hand again. “Y’know I never stopped loving you, right?”
It was funny. The words were out of old fantasies about her crawling back to him (mostly from the early days where they were making out in closets) but it felt totally different. It was probably because his sneaking around in closets days where over. Probably because he’d finally gotten over wanting what he couldn’t have (even if it had taken having in one sense or another, most all of the women he’d thought were untouchable). It probably had to do with it having taken the most available girl becoming the least available. Whatever it was, Cordelia had been the first. He’d never known she bled like the rest of them until that day when the tables had turned and he’d been the one to break her heart.
“I dunno who’s crazier, you or me. Because I never did either.” He looked down at the floor, fingers pushing his hair backwards. They’d never discussed these things back when making out was the order of the day, so talking about it now wasn’t the most natural, “You were the first one. Well, technically Faith was the first one, but you didn’t try to suffocate me, so…” His brain never failed to say something lame. Words were difficult sometimes, “Love you too, Cordy. Always.”
That was a decent recovery. She seemed satisfied. Her look was much softer than it ever had been in life. She kissed him, a ghost of a kiss in more ways than one, and he felt sort of weird about it. He figured that Willow would understand though, after all Cordy was dead.
Almost as if she could read his thoughts, Cordelia smiled, “And you’ll take care of them? Cause I’ll give you hell if you don’t.”
Hell was a lot less funny idea these days but he tried to laugh anyway. “There’s only so many of us left.”
He meant the survivors from high school, but it took on a larger meaning. There were only so many people like him and Cordelia left, with Slayers on the rise and covens full of witches with power, not equal to Willow’s but akin to it. Those with no special power had started, for him, to seem to be in the minority.
She traced the line of the eye patch with her free hand. “I’ll be watching you.”
He smiled. Of course. She would watch and she would see the truth. She would know that Xander and Willow were actually together, that Buffy still missed Angel, and maybe she’d curse him for not telling her the real truth. But she seemed all enlightened or something and so he was sort of hoping she’d understand.
“I knew you would.” He told her, wondering what secrets from behind closed doors she’d discover that he’d never know about.
The phone broke the moment, and for the first time since Cordelia had showed up he felt anxious.
“See you again?” He asked, knowing she probably didn’t know, but wanting to be reassured like a little kid.
“Of course. You better go get that. Last call and all that crap.”
And then she was gone. He wondered what Willow would think about maybe naming the baby Cordelia if it was a girl. Would it be inappropriate?
The phone rang again, insistent that he pick it up.
Author: gratefulundead
Summary: Xander receives an unexpected visit from Cordelia
Rating: PG
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Warnings: AU after "Chosen", as defined by the original fic.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for most of both series, fic takes place post season 7 of Buffy and during Season 5 of Angel.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Last Call, by magelette.
South Africa wasn’t so bad really. It was about as hot as good old Sunnydale, but he wouldn’t really have minded that (he’d sort of missed the sun while in England) if he hadn’t been alone here. Well, not alone, he was surrounded by about two dozen fresh slayers. He would have liked South Africa a whole lot more if she’d been with him. That is what it was always like though, even before. He was so incredibly used to Willow being around, that when she wasn’t he missed her more than the eye missing from its socket in his skull. Things didn’t seem quite real, almost, unless she was around to see them with him. He guessed that made sense since, before their hometown had become a giant crater, she always had been. And now, well there was all the more reason to feel that way. So he was happy to think about how soon they would be reunited, only a few weeks now, as he read the parenting book that Giles had sent. Xander wasn’t sure if the sending was a recrimination or a sort of tacit approval, but either way it was totally Giles to do it via book, and he knew he had better not show up back in England without being able to pass a quiz on the subject.
The phone rang and he wasn’t really sure who the speaker was until she mentioned Cordy’s name. He’d never met Fred, but Willow had mentioned her a few times. Her voice was a little nervous as she gave him the sad news, and Xander didn’t know what to say. The idea of Cordelia Chase being dead just seemed so odd, unreal. So he thanked her and got off the phone quickly, trying to get back into the reading he’d been doing beforehand, but that was more useless than trying to concentrate on math without Willow’s help had been back in high school.
To be honest, when the room chilled suddenly and Xander recognized the signs of astral projection (hey, having a witch for your everything made a guy notice these things), he was expecting Willow, hoping for Willow.
Cordelia was complete surprise, but an unexpectedly nice one. They’d parted on not entirely terrible terms, but she’d been at a low point and it was nice to see her, nice to know he warranted this last visit. She didn’t blink at his eye patch, or make fun of him (he almost wished she would, but they were past that now). She just relaxed against him and it was sort of nice to know that all was right between them after all this time, and nicer to know that he hadn’t been utterly forgotten. He was sort of surprised that he ranked this high, honestly.
Then her eyes darted to the book, and he was overcome with guilt. Major, wish you could bury your head in the sand and never look back up kind of guilt. How did you tell your dead ex-girlfriend that the girl you cheated on her with… well she really was the one? He still felt sort of shitty about having cheated on Cordy and the look on her face as she discovered him doing it. The fact that it led to her getting impaled… well that didn’t help either.
“Expecting someone?” She asked it so completely without irony or bitterness and he couldn’t bring himself to remind her of the worst part of their history. So he babbled.
“We’re expecting someone in a few months. Me and Wills. And Buff. We-“ He blushed. “After the Hellmouth…and the Slayers…and Spike…” Smooth Xander, smooth. He finished helplessly, trying to move away from the subject at hand, “Y’know that Sunnydale’s gone, right?”
She sat next to him, gentle and warm, completely unlike the girl he’d loved and hated back in high school.
“Angel filled me in. Some guy named Andrew came to visit last week or something.”
She looked down at her fingernails, like she was the one with something to be sorry for. He wondered if maybe she knew about him and Willow and the threesome with Buffy that had led to awkward avoiding, which had led to finally realizing he was totally in love with Willow after all these years, which it turned out was fortunate since they were going to be parents. He wished Cordy would call him on it.
She didn’t though, she just added softly, “They told me about Anya. And…Willow’s girlfriend?”
Because death and breakups were totally the same. He didn’t want to go into it. He felt sort of bad about Anya and how he’d failed her as well. Seriously, how did he keep getting and then screwing over such incredibly hot chicks? He had to remind himself that it was at an end now.
“Yeah. After the whole thing…me’n Wills…and Buffy…and hey, lesbians don’t need birth control, so…” That much was true and he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to say what came next. Somehow it just seemed wrong, so once again he changed the subject, “But you’re here, and you’re not-“
He knew it would make her leave, even as he said it, but it was better than an ugly scene. Her smile was sad, without the restraint and effort of her forced ones in days gone by.
“Just came to say goodbye. The PTB let me have two calls, so I figured you deserved one, even if you did impale me on a piece of rebar.”
Now came the forced smile. He imagined his was the same.
“Too late to say sorry, huh? I’m not gonna wish that it never happened, ‘cause we know how that ends up.” He didn’t mention that it definitely had planted the seed in his head of things that were important later or that they never would have worked out anyway and that at least he didn’t leave her at the altar, which was a best case scenario with him.
“So whatcha gonna name the baby?” He was relieved for her to let the awkward memory slide past them so easily.
“Wynn if it’s a girl. It means Joy in Old English.” He sounded like a robot to himself. “Or Jesse if it’s a boy. Buffster kept saying we should name him William or Rupert, but I told her she had to wait for her own kid.”
Also Willow said it was bad luck to name for the living. Then she and Buffy had argued about whether Spike counted as alive, being a vampire and all. Somehow it seemed better to keep it simple in explanation though. Cordy wasn’t part of any of it anymore, and details just seemed to highlight that.
“You’ll be a great dad. It should be a lot easier than a brain-sucking egg baby.”
Was the doubt in his voice that obvious? Still it was surreal to have this conversation. They were a long way from the kids they’d once been back in Sunnydale. Still, he hadn’t sought his family out yet. He wasn’t sure whether he was going to or not. Everything was new now and about to be more new. The baby didn’t need the kind of dysfunction his family was full of. Willow hadn’t talked to her mom either. Sometimes, you can’t go back. That was how he knew this conversation was limited; it was like a little pocket of the past. So he tried for the old easy tone.
He turned his head towards her, kissing her cheek. “You have way too much faith in me, Cordy. You always did.”
“Because you deserved it, dork.” She squeezed his hand again. “Y’know I never stopped loving you, right?”
It was funny. The words were out of old fantasies about her crawling back to him (mostly from the early days where they were making out in closets) but it felt totally different. It was probably because his sneaking around in closets days where over. Probably because he’d finally gotten over wanting what he couldn’t have (even if it had taken having in one sense or another, most all of the women he’d thought were untouchable). It probably had to do with it having taken the most available girl becoming the least available. Whatever it was, Cordelia had been the first. He’d never known she bled like the rest of them until that day when the tables had turned and he’d been the one to break her heart.
“I dunno who’s crazier, you or me. Because I never did either.” He looked down at the floor, fingers pushing his hair backwards. They’d never discussed these things back when making out was the order of the day, so talking about it now wasn’t the most natural, “You were the first one. Well, technically Faith was the first one, but you didn’t try to suffocate me, so…” His brain never failed to say something lame. Words were difficult sometimes, “Love you too, Cordy. Always.”
That was a decent recovery. She seemed satisfied. Her look was much softer than it ever had been in life. She kissed him, a ghost of a kiss in more ways than one, and he felt sort of weird about it. He figured that Willow would understand though, after all Cordy was dead.
Almost as if she could read his thoughts, Cordelia smiled, “And you’ll take care of them? Cause I’ll give you hell if you don’t.”
Hell was a lot less funny idea these days but he tried to laugh anyway. “There’s only so many of us left.”
He meant the survivors from high school, but it took on a larger meaning. There were only so many people like him and Cordelia left, with Slayers on the rise and covens full of witches with power, not equal to Willow’s but akin to it. Those with no special power had started, for him, to seem to be in the minority.
She traced the line of the eye patch with her free hand. “I’ll be watching you.”
He smiled. Of course. She would watch and she would see the truth. She would know that Xander and Willow were actually together, that Buffy still missed Angel, and maybe she’d curse him for not telling her the real truth. But she seemed all enlightened or something and so he was sort of hoping she’d understand.
“I knew you would.” He told her, wondering what secrets from behind closed doors she’d discover that he’d never know about.
The phone broke the moment, and for the first time since Cordelia had showed up he felt anxious.
“See you again?” He asked, knowing she probably didn’t know, but wanting to be reassured like a little kid.
“Of course. You better go get that. Last call and all that crap.”
And then she was gone. He wondered what Willow would think about maybe naming the baby Cordelia if it was a girl. Would it be inappropriate?
The phone rang again, insistent that he pick it up.