Hard Candy Shell (The Third Party Remix) [SG-1; Jack/Sam implied, pg]
Title: Hard Candy Shell (The Third Party Remix)
Author: kellifer_fic
Summary: She was eating peanut M&Ms when she died.
Rating: PG
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Warnings: Character Death (pre-fic)
Spoilers: None
Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful Beta.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Peanut M&Ms And The Twinkle In Her Eye by pepper_field
She doesn’t mean to be the first person Jack O'Neill sees when he wakes.
She knows he would rather see someone he recognizes; a familiar face, but there it is. Kate Heightmeyer doesn’t always have control over these things. The two remaining members of SG-1, Doctor Daniel Jackson and the Jaffa, Teal’c, had been hovering close by but she doesn’t know where they are right at that moment.
“You my doc?” he asks, throat raspy. She can see the calculation in his eyes, quick and immediate, trying to tot up the time he must have been unconscious. She’s heard this man called many things but she knows in just that instant that she’s dealing with someone who is both clever and intelligent, a rare and dangerous mix.
“Yes, but not-”
He looks her up and down, quick and sure, and grunts. “Head Doctor,” he says and sighs, sounding put-upon. “Get out.”
“Colonel, I know you don’t want to see me right now but we will have to talk eventually.” She knows she shouldn’t push, she should just take her leave and wait for General Hammond to order him down to her office but something tells her that if she doesn’t become visible now, something he will consider later, it will be easier for him to dodge her.
“I want to see my team. Carter, Jackson and Teal’c. Make yourself useful,” he says, dismissive, and Kate’s heart clenches. He doesn’t know, she realizes.
There is a gentle hand at her elbow and she’s being pushed aside and back. She sees the Colonel’s eyes come to rest and widen in relief to see the man that has moved past her.
“Daniel, thank god. Tell me everyone’s okay,” the Colonel says, reaching out a hand and grabbing a fistful of jacket to haul the younger man closer.
Kate backs out of the room, knowing that she shouldn’t see the Colonel break.
She only deals with aftermath.
It’s better that way.
000
It’s two days after the memorial service and the mountain has been mourning. People are quiet and Kate has been busy. Although she had never met Samantha Carter before the incident, she feels like she knows her through the anecdotes she’s heard; the stories told. From all accounts, Samantha Carter was extraordinary, brilliant and funny and Kate starts to feel like an imposter to these people, handing out advice and platitudes in turn because their loss is so personal.
Colonel Jack O’Neill sits across from her, arm in a sling and hair mussed. He looks like he just rolled out of bed and she’s pretty sure that’s what he did. He had some nasty injuries but the only way to tell is from the careful way he’s holding himself as he sits. He’s wearing BDU pants and a black t-shirt and the most common thing she’s heard from the people she’s seen is: I want to help him but I don’t know how.
Join the club, she thinks.
“I know this is the last place you want to be right now,” she tries and his eyes, carefully fixed over her shoulder on the wall beyond, flicker but do not move to her. “We can just sit and be quiet if that’s what you need but I want you to think about trying to talk to me.”
They spend an hour in silence and when she stands to let him know that their time is up he rises without looking at her and moves out the door.
000
“I’m fine.”
“You’re grieving and it’s natural. I’m just trying to help you. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to-”
“I know, I’ve grieved before. I’m getting pretty good at it.”
Kate looks across her office at Daniel Jackson, pacing the room like he has more energy than he knows what to do with. He touches objects on her desk, her shelves, palms books without committing to actually holding anything. He’s restless and he wants out.
She can understand.
“I know you’ve lost people close to you before.”
“I… yes, but I’m dealing with it. I have Teal’c and…” Daniel waves a hand in a helpless gesture and Kate knows that there should be another name there but that the person meant to fill that space has pulled away, closed himself off completely.
“As long as you’re talking to someone, that’s all I want.”
Daniel nods; a quick up-down of his head and drifts towards the door, a silent plea. Kate allows him to escape and sits back with a sigh, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. She’d wanted to be a veterinarian when she was six and she’s starting to wonder if maybe she ultimately chose the wrong career.
000
“I don’t give a good goddamn Daniel!”
She’d heard the yelling before she’d even exited the elevator and she hangs back, not wanting to eavesdrop but knowing walking through the middle of the shouting match happening in the corridor would be worse.
“You can’t shut everyone out. We lost her too! I lost a wife Jack. I think I know what you’re going through.”
“You think losing the woman given to you by a backwards desert tribe compares to this?”
There is nothing but stinging silence.
000
“I miss her. She was a good woman. She was a good friend.”
Kate nods, watching Teal’c stand so formally in the very center of her office, having declined a seat.
000
It’s their sixth session when he finally speaks.
“She was eating this pack of M&Ms that Daniel had gotten out of the goddamn vending machine. She asked if I wanted one and I said no.”
Kate doesn’t dare say a word. He’s come to this on his own, decided to tell her something real, something about Samantha Carter. They are in his house because he hasn’t been back to the mountain since his fight with Daniel. She’s surprised he still lets her in and had carefully navigated her way through Chinese take-out containers and pizza boxes to reach his couch. There are a number of casseroles and other home-baked fare crowding for space on his kitchen counter and she can see most have fine blue fuzz on the top.
“If I’d said yes and she’d been leaning over then maybe…” he trails off and his eyes which had been focused for the first time start to drift. Kate knows she has to reel him back in.
“You blame yourself.”
“Of course I do,” he agrees and huffs a laugh, a brittle sounding thing that’s like a bird with broken wings. “But the weird thing is; all I can think about is how lousy a last meal that was.”
“You’re still in shock. You’re focusing on smaller details because your mind isn’t ready for the enormity of what’s happened.”
“Is that what it is.” It’s not a question. He sounds like he’s musing aloud and being dismissive at the same time. “I don’t want you to come back here again.”
Kate blinks. She thought he was viewing her with a weary resignation, something he had to go through to get back to the SGC. The defeat in his voice surprises her. “It’s necessary for you to see me to be cleared for duty. You won’t-”
“I don’t want you to come here again,” he repeats and meets her eyes for the first time.
On her way out she notices a large steak sitting on a plate, set next to a bottle of good red wine and two glasses by the BBQ on his patio. It’s only when she gets back to the mountain that she remembers his words.
How lousy a last meal that was…
Author: kellifer_fic
Summary: She was eating peanut M&Ms when she died.
Rating: PG
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Warnings: Character Death (pre-fic)
Spoilers: None
Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful Beta.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Peanut M&Ms And The Twinkle In Her Eye by pepper_field
She doesn’t mean to be the first person Jack O'Neill sees when he wakes.
She knows he would rather see someone he recognizes; a familiar face, but there it is. Kate Heightmeyer doesn’t always have control over these things. The two remaining members of SG-1, Doctor Daniel Jackson and the Jaffa, Teal’c, had been hovering close by but she doesn’t know where they are right at that moment.
“You my doc?” he asks, throat raspy. She can see the calculation in his eyes, quick and immediate, trying to tot up the time he must have been unconscious. She’s heard this man called many things but she knows in just that instant that she’s dealing with someone who is both clever and intelligent, a rare and dangerous mix.
“Yes, but not-”
He looks her up and down, quick and sure, and grunts. “Head Doctor,” he says and sighs, sounding put-upon. “Get out.”
“Colonel, I know you don’t want to see me right now but we will have to talk eventually.” She knows she shouldn’t push, she should just take her leave and wait for General Hammond to order him down to her office but something tells her that if she doesn’t become visible now, something he will consider later, it will be easier for him to dodge her.
“I want to see my team. Carter, Jackson and Teal’c. Make yourself useful,” he says, dismissive, and Kate’s heart clenches. He doesn’t know, she realizes.
There is a gentle hand at her elbow and she’s being pushed aside and back. She sees the Colonel’s eyes come to rest and widen in relief to see the man that has moved past her.
“Daniel, thank god. Tell me everyone’s okay,” the Colonel says, reaching out a hand and grabbing a fistful of jacket to haul the younger man closer.
Kate backs out of the room, knowing that she shouldn’t see the Colonel break.
She only deals with aftermath.
It’s better that way.
000
It’s two days after the memorial service and the mountain has been mourning. People are quiet and Kate has been busy. Although she had never met Samantha Carter before the incident, she feels like she knows her through the anecdotes she’s heard; the stories told. From all accounts, Samantha Carter was extraordinary, brilliant and funny and Kate starts to feel like an imposter to these people, handing out advice and platitudes in turn because their loss is so personal.
Colonel Jack O’Neill sits across from her, arm in a sling and hair mussed. He looks like he just rolled out of bed and she’s pretty sure that’s what he did. He had some nasty injuries but the only way to tell is from the careful way he’s holding himself as he sits. He’s wearing BDU pants and a black t-shirt and the most common thing she’s heard from the people she’s seen is: I want to help him but I don’t know how.
Join the club, she thinks.
“I know this is the last place you want to be right now,” she tries and his eyes, carefully fixed over her shoulder on the wall beyond, flicker but do not move to her. “We can just sit and be quiet if that’s what you need but I want you to think about trying to talk to me.”
They spend an hour in silence and when she stands to let him know that their time is up he rises without looking at her and moves out the door.
000
“I’m fine.”
“You’re grieving and it’s natural. I’m just trying to help you. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to-”
“I know, I’ve grieved before. I’m getting pretty good at it.”
Kate looks across her office at Daniel Jackson, pacing the room like he has more energy than he knows what to do with. He touches objects on her desk, her shelves, palms books without committing to actually holding anything. He’s restless and he wants out.
She can understand.
“I know you’ve lost people close to you before.”
“I… yes, but I’m dealing with it. I have Teal’c and…” Daniel waves a hand in a helpless gesture and Kate knows that there should be another name there but that the person meant to fill that space has pulled away, closed himself off completely.
“As long as you’re talking to someone, that’s all I want.”
Daniel nods; a quick up-down of his head and drifts towards the door, a silent plea. Kate allows him to escape and sits back with a sigh, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. She’d wanted to be a veterinarian when she was six and she’s starting to wonder if maybe she ultimately chose the wrong career.
000
“I don’t give a good goddamn Daniel!”
She’d heard the yelling before she’d even exited the elevator and she hangs back, not wanting to eavesdrop but knowing walking through the middle of the shouting match happening in the corridor would be worse.
“You can’t shut everyone out. We lost her too! I lost a wife Jack. I think I know what you’re going through.”
“You think losing the woman given to you by a backwards desert tribe compares to this?”
There is nothing but stinging silence.
000
“I miss her. She was a good woman. She was a good friend.”
Kate nods, watching Teal’c stand so formally in the very center of her office, having declined a seat.
000
It’s their sixth session when he finally speaks.
“She was eating this pack of M&Ms that Daniel had gotten out of the goddamn vending machine. She asked if I wanted one and I said no.”
Kate doesn’t dare say a word. He’s come to this on his own, decided to tell her something real, something about Samantha Carter. They are in his house because he hasn’t been back to the mountain since his fight with Daniel. She’s surprised he still lets her in and had carefully navigated her way through Chinese take-out containers and pizza boxes to reach his couch. There are a number of casseroles and other home-baked fare crowding for space on his kitchen counter and she can see most have fine blue fuzz on the top.
“If I’d said yes and she’d been leaning over then maybe…” he trails off and his eyes which had been focused for the first time start to drift. Kate knows she has to reel him back in.
“You blame yourself.”
“Of course I do,” he agrees and huffs a laugh, a brittle sounding thing that’s like a bird with broken wings. “But the weird thing is; all I can think about is how lousy a last meal that was.”
“You’re still in shock. You’re focusing on smaller details because your mind isn’t ready for the enormity of what’s happened.”
“Is that what it is.” It’s not a question. He sounds like he’s musing aloud and being dismissive at the same time. “I don’t want you to come back here again.”
Kate blinks. She thought he was viewing her with a weary resignation, something he had to go through to get back to the SGC. The defeat in his voice surprises her. “It’s necessary for you to see me to be cleared for duty. You won’t-”
“I don’t want you to come here again,” he repeats and meets her eyes for the first time.
On her way out she notices a large steak sitting on a plate, set next to a bottle of good red wine and two glasses by the BBQ on his patio. It’s only when she gets back to the mountain that she remembers his words.
How lousy a last meal that was…