(no subject)
On the radio this morning, even though it's all in reruns because of the holiday and the jocks are on vacation, there was the mention of how Halle Berry is pregnant. It wasn't just news that another celebrity is pregnant, but it was a listener write-in about how Halle Berry is selfish because she's going through with this pregnancy even though she's 46 and has a history if diabetes. The listener drolls on about Halle will be 60-something when the child graduates high school, and let's not forget the risk she's putting the child in because she has diabetes!
Here's the thing. The very ACT of having a child is selfish. You make the decision to bring a child into the world. Even in an "oops" pregnancy, every single pregnancy is selfish. That doesn't make it a bad thing. But people throw around this "having a child is a miracle!" and anything less than the complete and utter sacrifice of yourself is also selfish.
The hardest thing about being a parent? It's the bombardment of "you're not doing it right!" or "you're doing harm to your child!" criticism coming from all angles. Right now, the push is for everything organic - food, sunscreens, bath soaps, cloth diapers made of organic cotton. And then you get it if you're a working mother. And then you get it again if you choose vaccines vs no vaccines. Everyone else is right and you're doing it wrong, no matter what you're doing, it's wrong and your child will likely end up with cancer by the time they're 10 because you didn't use organic sunscreen, or they'll end up a convict by the time they're 18 because you chose to have a career instead of being a stay-at-home-mom (or on the flip-side, you choose to co-sleep and ascribe to attachments parenting, so your child is going to end up being codependent and die from measles because you chose not to vaccinate on schedule).
As a parent, you're never right.
And then she laughs. And then she says, "I love you, Mommy!" for the first time in her tiny toddler voice. You ask for a hug and she runs up to you as fast as her little legs will let her go and throws her arms around your neck. And then you know you're doing it right.
Here's the thing. The very ACT of having a child is selfish. You make the decision to bring a child into the world. Even in an "oops" pregnancy, every single pregnancy is selfish. That doesn't make it a bad thing. But people throw around this "having a child is a miracle!" and anything less than the complete and utter sacrifice of yourself is also selfish.
The hardest thing about being a parent? It's the bombardment of "you're not doing it right!" or "you're doing harm to your child!" criticism coming from all angles. Right now, the push is for everything organic - food, sunscreens, bath soaps, cloth diapers made of organic cotton. And then you get it if you're a working mother. And then you get it again if you choose vaccines vs no vaccines. Everyone else is right and you're doing it wrong, no matter what you're doing, it's wrong and your child will likely end up with cancer by the time they're 10 because you didn't use organic sunscreen, or they'll end up a convict by the time they're 18 because you chose to have a career instead of being a stay-at-home-mom (or on the flip-side, you choose to co-sleep and ascribe to attachments parenting, so your child is going to end up being codependent and die from measles because you chose not to vaccinate on schedule).
As a parent, you're never right.
And then she laughs. And then she says, "I love you, Mommy!" for the first time in her tiny toddler voice. You ask for a hug and she runs up to you as fast as her little legs will let her go and throws her arms around your neck. And then you know you're doing it right.