Same thing from my Gj yesterday..plus some..
Well..I'm not as happy as I expected but I'm a lot happier than Matthew looked in History today. I was talking to Kevin Scattergood and Joey Zimmermann and he looked like he was about to fucking rip my head off. Oh well..and then I was talking to Marissa cuz I love her life and shes so awesomely cool yeah so now were gunna hang out all the time in history instead of how I used to hang out with Matthew since he hates my life, I can hang out with Marissa. It's sweet as hell. And I see Kristen Jansen a lot more and Melissa too. Its cool. I'm so excited, I CAN HAVE FRIENDS AGAIN. Now I can actually hang out with them. Woohoo! <3 I need a boyfriend though, I cant stand to be alone. Not a "serious, long lasting" relationship, but not just a rebound. I just need someone who will make me feel like I still belong. Someone who cares about me. My friends are great, but theres just a hole in my heart that they cant fill. Theres one left from Douglas still, but that wont ever go away..and the hole that Matthew left, just gets bigger and bigger. But..what are ya gunna do, I still love the kid, always will..but sometimes...you have to realize when youre getting hurt...and used. So..I'm okay..for now....hopefully I'll stay that way. I had the worst urge to cut last night...but I didnt cuz I realized how many people would be upset and pissed. THE PEOPLE THAT CARE. Unlike SOME PEOPLE. But thats life you lose friends and gain friends all the time. I just seem to lose and gain them at the same time, so it cancels out. This whole Sam thing has brought me and Marissa closer but ripped me and Sam apart. Oh well. Our friendship only lasted a week..who wouldve thought it would last longer? I'm surprised it lasted that long. Fuck it..its over. I dont care about her anymore, just like she doesnt care about me.
Everytime I trust, I lose.
Today Matt and Sam were just trying to get to me..cuz they were by MY LOCKER all "look at us were going out" haha LIKE I FUCKING CARE? It doesnt hurt as much as they think, because I've seen it all from them before. So what? Its just a fucking repeat of last year, and I'll find someone better and she'll get jealous and try to take him too. Thats the way life is, but I'm not gunan let her whore-ish lifestyle ruin my life. I dont give a flying fuck about her anymore. She could come crawling back to me after he dumps her and I wont do shit, she hurt me once again, and I'll never forget it. I'll never forgive her either. Now this might seem like I'm upset, but I'm not, I'm just pissed that someone who supposedly was your "friend" can be that fucking two faced. But whatever floats her boat. I hope theyre happy together, and Sam, dont bother to comment cuz I'll just delete it, no more friends, no more talking, nothing. Our so called "friendship" is over, FOR GOOD.
Yepp..so I'm out, for now. Maybe I'll update again later. Oh yeah and I almost forgot, yesterday I talked to Nick Quackenbush and I got 2 hugs, it was cute. Haha and Tom Daly now gives me hugs too..man I love friends. =D And now theres no one to yell at me and get jealous. Wo0ot wo0ot! <33
Because only scars remain, I die everytime I hear your name.
Everytime I trust, I lose.
Today Matt and Sam were just trying to get to me..cuz they were by MY LOCKER all "look at us were going out" haha LIKE I FUCKING CARE? It doesnt hurt as much as they think, because I've seen it all from them before. So what? Its just a fucking repeat of last year, and I'll find someone better and she'll get jealous and try to take him too. Thats the way life is, but I'm not gunan let her whore-ish lifestyle ruin my life. I dont give a flying fuck about her anymore. She could come crawling back to me after he dumps her and I wont do shit, she hurt me once again, and I'll never forget it. I'll never forgive her either. Now this might seem like I'm upset, but I'm not, I'm just pissed that someone who supposedly was your "friend" can be that fucking two faced. But whatever floats her boat. I hope theyre happy together, and Sam, dont bother to comment cuz I'll just delete it, no more friends, no more talking, nothing. Our so called "friendship" is over, FOR GOOD.
Yepp..so I'm out, for now. Maybe I'll update again later. Oh yeah and I almost forgot, yesterday I talked to Nick Quackenbush and I got 2 hugs, it was cute. Haha and Tom Daly now gives me hugs too..man I love friends. =D And now theres no one to yell at me and get jealous. Wo0ot wo0ot! <33
Because only scars remain, I die everytime I hear your name.