(no subject)
One of my friends last week told me I think to much. I agreed. I have this bad habit of over thinking things to the point where I let all the what ifs take over my brain. I get stuck on the what ifs and could have beens and loose track of whats in front of my face. I fail to see whats there and what isn't there other places because of the racing thoughts in my head. Who knows if that makes any sense, but once in a while the over thinking makes me have one of those profound moments of drunken clarity.
I had one last night, but it didn't click until I went back and rethought my response to a question I answered. The answer was more a correction really of something I had said before, but was misinterpreted about whom I was talking about. I don't even remember what was said, but my response was what got me thinking this morning. I went over my response in my head and thought about what had prompted me to say it. It all clicked into place suddenly. It made sense why I said what I had. It was a terrifying thought that made me giddy at the same time. I was nearly crying over the realization that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Sometimes healing comes when we least expect it. sometimes it comes before we are ready to let go and stop picking at the scabs. I wasn't ready before to stop picking that scab, I wanted to keep the wound open. In doing that I made it worse on myself and possibly those around me. Healing is slow, but I'm finally learning to stop picking the scab and let things be. I'll miss what I had, but I know better now.
Thank you Trina for helping me figure this out. And thank you Tom for not wavering in your advice despite my unwillingness to listen to it no matter how many times you told me the same thing. I'll try to stop running into walls and use the door instead.
(though I know neither of them will read this here)
I had one last night, but it didn't click until I went back and rethought my response to a question I answered. The answer was more a correction really of something I had said before, but was misinterpreted about whom I was talking about. I don't even remember what was said, but my response was what got me thinking this morning. I went over my response in my head and thought about what had prompted me to say it. It all clicked into place suddenly. It made sense why I said what I had. It was a terrifying thought that made me giddy at the same time. I was nearly crying over the realization that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Sometimes healing comes when we least expect it. sometimes it comes before we are ready to let go and stop picking at the scabs. I wasn't ready before to stop picking that scab, I wanted to keep the wound open. In doing that I made it worse on myself and possibly those around me. Healing is slow, but I'm finally learning to stop picking the scab and let things be. I'll miss what I had, but I know better now.
Thank you Trina for helping me figure this out. And thank you Tom for not wavering in your advice despite my unwillingness to listen to it no matter how many times you told me the same thing. I'll try to stop running into walls and use the door instead.
(though I know neither of them will read this here)