(no subject)
zomg....So I was talking to my friend Starla and mentioned to her that I had gotten my birth mothers non identifying background info. During the discussion I mentioned that while I am not supposed to know her name I do because of a letter that I had found at one point snooping in things I wasn't supposed to be snooping in from my birth mother. She mentioned something that I had never even thought of. I now know how old my birth mother is, I could use that info to narrow my search parameters by age seeing as I knew the name of the man she was supposed to marry in 1989. It worked. I found a sight that allowed me to do a generic search for free that gave city and state results and included age as a parameter along with the first and last name and gave other names associated with the one you searched for. She's still in San Diego according to this site. The name I had thought was her first name is actually her middle name. I now know her real first name. Which means I can go to the phone book and if she is listed find a current address.
Now the question is, it's been over 27 years since I was adopted. How do I even begin to write a letter to the woman who gave birth to me? What do I say? Seriously?! In her letter she requested a picture of me, I don't know if my parents ever sent her a picture, but at very least I know I want to send her one of me now.
For the record I say I'm not supposed to know her name because in California all adoptions around the time I was born were closed, no matter if it was with a state facility or a private adoption agency. All you can get is non identifying information unless you fill out consent for contact forms from both the side of the adult adoptee and the birth parent(s) side as well. I filled out mine and filled them last year. I received notice that my birth parents had not filed nor had any adult siblings from my birth parents. The letter that I had found was addressed as from the adoption agency so I can only assume she had sent it there and it had then been sent to my parents. But as I said, I don't know if my parents ever sent her a response or not, but they had at least filed it away with the paperwork for the adoption of myself and my older brother (different birth families).
It's kinda funny how the non identifying information helped me to identify more information on my birth mother. I still know nothing about my birth father, and if the letter I had found is any indication he died in a motorcycle accident before I turned 8. There was no information at all on him other then his age around the time I was born.
*edited to add* oh shit, I think I just found her myspace....*erk*
Now the question is, it's been over 27 years since I was adopted. How do I even begin to write a letter to the woman who gave birth to me? What do I say? Seriously?! In her letter she requested a picture of me, I don't know if my parents ever sent her a picture, but at very least I know I want to send her one of me now.
For the record I say I'm not supposed to know her name because in California all adoptions around the time I was born were closed, no matter if it was with a state facility or a private adoption agency. All you can get is non identifying information unless you fill out consent for contact forms from both the side of the adult adoptee and the birth parent(s) side as well. I filled out mine and filled them last year. I received notice that my birth parents had not filed nor had any adult siblings from my birth parents. The letter that I had found was addressed as from the adoption agency so I can only assume she had sent it there and it had then been sent to my parents. But as I said, I don't know if my parents ever sent her a response or not, but they had at least filed it away with the paperwork for the adoption of myself and my older brother (different birth families).
It's kinda funny how the non identifying information helped me to identify more information on my birth mother. I still know nothing about my birth father, and if the letter I had found is any indication he died in a motorcycle accident before I turned 8. There was no information at all on him other then his age around the time I was born.
*edited to add* oh shit, I think I just found her myspace....*erk*