Criminal Minds 100Song, One Shot: Naked
Naked
Characters: Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon
Pairings: Reid/Gideon
Summary: Reid hopes he can fake it for one more day.
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: Angst?
Spoilers: LDSK
Disclaimer: I do not own Gideon, Reid or anything pertaining to Criminal Minds. It is all property of CBS and I am not affiliated with the show in any way.
Author's Note: UnBeta'd all mistakes are my own and I apologize for them
Challenge: 100Song fic 005. Naked Avril Lavigne
***
He had woken up, sweating and terrified, every night since the stand off in the emergency room. When Gideon had told him that it would eventually hit him, he had been referring to killing the unsub, but it wasn’t that that which had caused this terrified existence to take hold.
It was the things Hotch had said and what he had had to do during the hostage situation. It had brought back so many memories: His father beating him after drinking himself into a rage; his mother after her first psychotic break, screaming and yelling at people who weren’t even there; the kids all through his school days beating him, ostracizing him and playing as many cruel tricks as the could possibly think of, making him jump at every shadow. All of it came back to haunt him in his dreams. Those few minutes of terror, as Hotch spit belittling words at him, and kicking him, had sent him spiraling back into all memories he had tried to forget.
It was barely five in the morning, light had not even begun to break through the night yet, but Reid knew there was no way he could possible get back to sleep after such vivid, horrifying dreams. As he took a shower he couldn’t help but look at himself in the mirror. There were still shadows of bruises on his stomach even though it had been almost three weeks since the LDSK incident. The worst part was the open terror that shone through his face; he practiced trying to hide it behind a mask of blankness, knowing he couldn’t let anyone at work know how exactly he was feeling. They already saw him as a fragile kid, and this could only make matters worst.
By the time he had cleaned himself up, gotten breakfast, and was dressed and ready to leave, it was already seven. Reid grabbed his ever present satchel, and moved toward his door. He stopped in front of the mirror he had hanging in the entrance way, making sure the face of indifference he had worked on, was firmly in place before heading to work. Every time he left, he hoped that he could fool them for one more day, maybe it would all be better tomorrow; maybe the nightmares would stop tonight, and it could all go back to how it was.
Reid got in to the office half and hour later, ready to get to work on the pile of folders on his desk. He sat down and got right to down to it, trying not to think about anything else. He watched as Morgan came in soon after, grumbling a good morning before running off to the gym for his daily work out. JJ and Garcia were the next to come in, both waved good morning, then went off to get coffee, laughing and joking like old girlfriends before getting down to work themselves. Hotch made it to work promptly at eight just like he always did. At half past, he called everyone together to give them the low down:
“We haven’t got any major cases today, but I’m sure you have enough paper work to last you for awhile, so you best get started.”
“Hey where is Gideon, I refuse to do his files, because he is conveniently away.” Morgan complained.
“He’ll be in a bit later. He called from the road on his way from his cabin and apparently there was some sort of accident that has blocked up traffic, so it may be awhile. Now, onward to the paper work and enjoy” He gestured towards their desks, while he went to his office also to deal with the large stack of files waiting for him.
At noon, as everyone was still steadily moving through the files, JJ came around and asked if anyone was up for some lunch; her treat. Morgan jumped up grabbing her and spinning her around
“Morgan! Put me down!”
“You are the best doll-face! Don’t you know food is the only way to a man’s heart?”
“Morgan, are you cheating on me?” a voice said from behind him he put JJ down, and hide her behind him.
“Never.” He answered solemnly while JJ was having a fit of laughter behind him.
All three of them started laughing, and getting ready to go. Reid didn’t really notice any of this; he was working so hard on his work and trying not to let the terror take him over. All he really wanted right now was to go home, and hide himself under his blankets with as many lights on as he could.
“Reid you coming, kid?”
He mumbled some sort of positive response, knowing they would never let him off the hook if he didn’t go with them, and grabbed his coat and bag, keeping his head down and trying to stay as quiet as possible. They all started to move to the elevator when Hotch ran up behind them.
“Hey Hotch, I thought you couldn’t come?”
“Conference call ended quickly, seems the director likes to go out with the guys for lunch too.” He laughed.
Reid was the first in the elevator, so he could hide himself in the corner. Thankfully none of them really seemed to notice, they were all happy to be gone from their desks and chatting away, but Reid would rather be there than here. Hopefully if he stayed silent, them may take no notice of him, so he would be under any scrutiny about how his eyes were a darker than usually, or that he was looking a lot thinner these days.
They took Morgan’s suv, and went to the local bar and grill a few minutes down the road from Quantico. As they sat down, JJ told everyone that she was making the rule that they could not talk about work or cases or anything like that, if they did they’d have to buy their own food. None of them knew who started it, but it wasn’t long until they were talking about an old cases, and who was the strangest unsubs they had ever seen.
The whole time, Reid had stayed silent, focusing on his food, pushing it around his plate, not eating and only half listening to the conversation.
When Gideon’s voice broke through his silence, his head snapped up to see him walking toward their table, a relaxed smile on his face and dressed in faded old blue jeans with a black t-shirt. Reid quickly forced himself to look back down at his plate and making sure that his own expression was blank and solidly in place. He knew if anyone could see any flaw in it, it would be Gideon.
Finally, after Gideon had settled down and ordered, the conversation quickly picked up again, but this time talking about Gideon’s trip to his cabin. That was soon exhausted, and they were back to talking about work. Once Reid was sure that he was ready to face the man, he managed to lift his eyes away from the table hoping to appear at least as close to normal so Gideon wouldn’t be suspicious.
What Reid wasn’t expecting though, was that as soon as he lifted his head up, he ended up staring right into the eyes of the man across from him. He had been so wrapped up in his attempt of creating his façade that he hadn’t felt that the older man’s eyes had been on him the entire time. In that second of eye contact he could feel the surprise flash into his face, and the stare that he was getting from Gideon crumbled the mask he had created. He slipped and Gideon noticed, just like Spencer knew he would. Reid could see the acknowledgment of the mistake in Gideon’s eyes, and it told Reid that he would definitely have to confront the man.
“Reid, could I talk to you for a minute?”
But he definitely didn’t think it would have to be now. Reid stared up at him, as the table went silent. He knew he was backed into a corner here and really had no other choice. He nodded silently to the older agent.
“Excuse us for a moment guys.” And they both rose and moved toward the door, the walk silent as they went outside.
Gideon made sure they were out of sight from team before gently stopping Reid, softly grabbing the younger ones shoulder turning him around to face him. Spencer kept his head down, not resisting the older man’s touch, and hoping that he wouldn’t have to look at the man. Gideon stood there for a moment, looking at the man in front of him. He could remember the shy timid boy he had met three years ago. He remembered watching him grow, learn and become more aware of himself. And when he saw that little slip up in the restaurant something was wrong, now the man, who before he had left was sure of himself, was right back to being that shy timid boy he had first met.
Reid just couldn’t do it. He could feel the eyes on him and he wanted to look up at the man who had always been there to help him, and show him through the social aspects of life, that he had never been through before, but he just couldn’t.
When he felt Gideon’s hand under his chin and lift his head up, Spencer felt the last of his resolve dissolve as he finally looked into the man’s eyes.
He felt so naked under that glare.
Gideon was taken aback by the turmoil he saw in the man before him.
“Spencer, what happened?”
He tried to respond, but was choked by the tears that had started to fall. Gideon, with his hand still on his chin wiped the tear away with a thumb.
“It is about the last case isn’t it?”
Spencer nodded, and had now started to shake.
“You saved a lot of people, if you hadn’t killed him, people would have died. Innocent people would have died.”
“It’s not just that. I….its…it’s the things that Hotch had to say.” H managed to stutter out. “It j-j-ust brought so much b-ba-back that I had tried so hard to leave b-b-behind.”
Jason didn’t really know what to say, but as he looked at the shaking, terrified man in front of him, he grabbed the younger man and pulled him into a hug. Reid immediately relaxed into it, feeling the strength in the arms around him and knowing he would be taken care of as he let all of the terror, seep out of him. Gideon maneuvered them to a bench by the doors, and sat them both down. When Spencer had finally calmed down a bit, and release the vice grip on him, Jason got up and told him to wait for him for a minute as he went in side.
Reid watched him go through the doors, locking his eyes on that spot until the man’s return. True to his word, a minute later, he walked back out and toward where Spencer was sitting on the bench he offered his hand to the young agent.
“Let me take you home Spencer.” Reid took it without hesitation and let Gideon led him, with a hand at his back, toward his Truck.
Jason opened the door for the still shaking man, helping him into the truck. Getting in himself and starting it, he glanced over to Spencer. The young doctor was already lost to his thoughts, his head against the window. As he turned out of the parking lot, Jason wished he could chase all of the younger man’s demons away, and slay all of his dragons, no one that young should have that much terror hanging over them; but he’d be there to help him in any way he could.
The drive was spent in silence.
***
Thanks for Reading
Reviews are like Gideon covered in icing
Characters: Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon
Pairings: Reid/Gideon
Summary: Reid hopes he can fake it for one more day.
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: Angst?
Spoilers: LDSK
Disclaimer: I do not own Gideon, Reid or anything pertaining to Criminal Minds. It is all property of CBS and I am not affiliated with the show in any way.
Author's Note: UnBeta'd all mistakes are my own and I apologize for them
Challenge: 100Song fic 005. Naked Avril Lavigne
***
He had woken up, sweating and terrified, every night since the stand off in the emergency room. When Gideon had told him that it would eventually hit him, he had been referring to killing the unsub, but it wasn’t that that which had caused this terrified existence to take hold.
It was the things Hotch had said and what he had had to do during the hostage situation. It had brought back so many memories: His father beating him after drinking himself into a rage; his mother after her first psychotic break, screaming and yelling at people who weren’t even there; the kids all through his school days beating him, ostracizing him and playing as many cruel tricks as the could possibly think of, making him jump at every shadow. All of it came back to haunt him in his dreams. Those few minutes of terror, as Hotch spit belittling words at him, and kicking him, had sent him spiraling back into all memories he had tried to forget.
It was barely five in the morning, light had not even begun to break through the night yet, but Reid knew there was no way he could possible get back to sleep after such vivid, horrifying dreams. As he took a shower he couldn’t help but look at himself in the mirror. There were still shadows of bruises on his stomach even though it had been almost three weeks since the LDSK incident. The worst part was the open terror that shone through his face; he practiced trying to hide it behind a mask of blankness, knowing he couldn’t let anyone at work know how exactly he was feeling. They already saw him as a fragile kid, and this could only make matters worst.
By the time he had cleaned himself up, gotten breakfast, and was dressed and ready to leave, it was already seven. Reid grabbed his ever present satchel, and moved toward his door. He stopped in front of the mirror he had hanging in the entrance way, making sure the face of indifference he had worked on, was firmly in place before heading to work. Every time he left, he hoped that he could fool them for one more day, maybe it would all be better tomorrow; maybe the nightmares would stop tonight, and it could all go back to how it was.
Reid got in to the office half and hour later, ready to get to work on the pile of folders on his desk. He sat down and got right to down to it, trying not to think about anything else. He watched as Morgan came in soon after, grumbling a good morning before running off to the gym for his daily work out. JJ and Garcia were the next to come in, both waved good morning, then went off to get coffee, laughing and joking like old girlfriends before getting down to work themselves. Hotch made it to work promptly at eight just like he always did. At half past, he called everyone together to give them the low down:
“We haven’t got any major cases today, but I’m sure you have enough paper work to last you for awhile, so you best get started.”
“Hey where is Gideon, I refuse to do his files, because he is conveniently away.” Morgan complained.
“He’ll be in a bit later. He called from the road on his way from his cabin and apparently there was some sort of accident that has blocked up traffic, so it may be awhile. Now, onward to the paper work and enjoy” He gestured towards their desks, while he went to his office also to deal with the large stack of files waiting for him.
At noon, as everyone was still steadily moving through the files, JJ came around and asked if anyone was up for some lunch; her treat. Morgan jumped up grabbing her and spinning her around
“Morgan! Put me down!”
“You are the best doll-face! Don’t you know food is the only way to a man’s heart?”
“Morgan, are you cheating on me?” a voice said from behind him he put JJ down, and hide her behind him.
“Never.” He answered solemnly while JJ was having a fit of laughter behind him.
All three of them started laughing, and getting ready to go. Reid didn’t really notice any of this; he was working so hard on his work and trying not to let the terror take him over. All he really wanted right now was to go home, and hide himself under his blankets with as many lights on as he could.
“Reid you coming, kid?”
He mumbled some sort of positive response, knowing they would never let him off the hook if he didn’t go with them, and grabbed his coat and bag, keeping his head down and trying to stay as quiet as possible. They all started to move to the elevator when Hotch ran up behind them.
“Hey Hotch, I thought you couldn’t come?”
“Conference call ended quickly, seems the director likes to go out with the guys for lunch too.” He laughed.
Reid was the first in the elevator, so he could hide himself in the corner. Thankfully none of them really seemed to notice, they were all happy to be gone from their desks and chatting away, but Reid would rather be there than here. Hopefully if he stayed silent, them may take no notice of him, so he would be under any scrutiny about how his eyes were a darker than usually, or that he was looking a lot thinner these days.
They took Morgan’s suv, and went to the local bar and grill a few minutes down the road from Quantico. As they sat down, JJ told everyone that she was making the rule that they could not talk about work or cases or anything like that, if they did they’d have to buy their own food. None of them knew who started it, but it wasn’t long until they were talking about an old cases, and who was the strangest unsubs they had ever seen.
The whole time, Reid had stayed silent, focusing on his food, pushing it around his plate, not eating and only half listening to the conversation.
When Gideon’s voice broke through his silence, his head snapped up to see him walking toward their table, a relaxed smile on his face and dressed in faded old blue jeans with a black t-shirt. Reid quickly forced himself to look back down at his plate and making sure that his own expression was blank and solidly in place. He knew if anyone could see any flaw in it, it would be Gideon.
Finally, after Gideon had settled down and ordered, the conversation quickly picked up again, but this time talking about Gideon’s trip to his cabin. That was soon exhausted, and they were back to talking about work. Once Reid was sure that he was ready to face the man, he managed to lift his eyes away from the table hoping to appear at least as close to normal so Gideon wouldn’t be suspicious.
What Reid wasn’t expecting though, was that as soon as he lifted his head up, he ended up staring right into the eyes of the man across from him. He had been so wrapped up in his attempt of creating his façade that he hadn’t felt that the older man’s eyes had been on him the entire time. In that second of eye contact he could feel the surprise flash into his face, and the stare that he was getting from Gideon crumbled the mask he had created. He slipped and Gideon noticed, just like Spencer knew he would. Reid could see the acknowledgment of the mistake in Gideon’s eyes, and it told Reid that he would definitely have to confront the man.
“Reid, could I talk to you for a minute?”
But he definitely didn’t think it would have to be now. Reid stared up at him, as the table went silent. He knew he was backed into a corner here and really had no other choice. He nodded silently to the older agent.
“Excuse us for a moment guys.” And they both rose and moved toward the door, the walk silent as they went outside.
Gideon made sure they were out of sight from team before gently stopping Reid, softly grabbing the younger ones shoulder turning him around to face him. Spencer kept his head down, not resisting the older man’s touch, and hoping that he wouldn’t have to look at the man. Gideon stood there for a moment, looking at the man in front of him. He could remember the shy timid boy he had met three years ago. He remembered watching him grow, learn and become more aware of himself. And when he saw that little slip up in the restaurant something was wrong, now the man, who before he had left was sure of himself, was right back to being that shy timid boy he had first met.
Reid just couldn’t do it. He could feel the eyes on him and he wanted to look up at the man who had always been there to help him, and show him through the social aspects of life, that he had never been through before, but he just couldn’t.
When he felt Gideon’s hand under his chin and lift his head up, Spencer felt the last of his resolve dissolve as he finally looked into the man’s eyes.
He felt so naked under that glare.
Gideon was taken aback by the turmoil he saw in the man before him.
“Spencer, what happened?”
He tried to respond, but was choked by the tears that had started to fall. Gideon, with his hand still on his chin wiped the tear away with a thumb.
“It is about the last case isn’t it?”
Spencer nodded, and had now started to shake.
“You saved a lot of people, if you hadn’t killed him, people would have died. Innocent people would have died.”
“It’s not just that. I….its…it’s the things that Hotch had to say.” H managed to stutter out. “It j-j-ust brought so much b-ba-back that I had tried so hard to leave b-b-behind.”
Jason didn’t really know what to say, but as he looked at the shaking, terrified man in front of him, he grabbed the younger man and pulled him into a hug. Reid immediately relaxed into it, feeling the strength in the arms around him and knowing he would be taken care of as he let all of the terror, seep out of him. Gideon maneuvered them to a bench by the doors, and sat them both down. When Spencer had finally calmed down a bit, and release the vice grip on him, Jason got up and told him to wait for him for a minute as he went in side.
Reid watched him go through the doors, locking his eyes on that spot until the man’s return. True to his word, a minute later, he walked back out and toward where Spencer was sitting on the bench he offered his hand to the young agent.
“Let me take you home Spencer.” Reid took it without hesitation and let Gideon led him, with a hand at his back, toward his Truck.
Jason opened the door for the still shaking man, helping him into the truck. Getting in himself and starting it, he glanced over to Spencer. The young doctor was already lost to his thoughts, his head against the window. As he turned out of the parking lot, Jason wished he could chase all of the younger man’s demons away, and slay all of his dragons, no one that young should have that much terror hanging over them; but he’d be there to help him in any way he could.
The drive was spent in silence.
***
Thanks for Reading
Reviews are like Gideon covered in icing