i need chocolate
Anyone who begins to read this thinking "hey, josh updated, wtf" I apologize that there's nothing but my personal half-drowsy ranting. Nothing bitchy at all. Just lame reflecting. Not even observations like "i think people like Bush more than other cookie cutter post-grunge bands simply because their english" or anything like that. And I do like Bush, 16 stone is a good 90's album. Just saying.
Today the oh so familiar feeling of being in limbo hit me today. Today was neither bad nor good. Just a little too long, random, and confusing. Work was good but commuting back sucked. My mom went from pissed off rants at the slightest thing i did wrong to practically grabbing my cheek and telling me how "cute i am." I tried messing around on garageband with this song i'm trying to cut up and remix but i just got frustrated at my own imcompotance. Is that how you spell it?
Getting a lot better at dj mixing and recording my lucid dreams though. And I think I have a second job finally lined up. June will be alright after all.
Twelve more days and I'll be in Austin to see Sarah. Oh yeah, and the Streets and Lady Sov. Oh and Carter too.
I feel a lot better than I did last summer. Well not so much better, its been just as hard being back home as it was last break, but I dunno, though far from perfect I feel a less anxious and uncertain about things. Like just now I was reading old very painful lj entries from last summer of a certain someone, but here's the thing, I just let it go. Its the past, and the great thing about the past is that it doesn't define "now." I know this is a big "DUH" but I dunno, it was just great feeling content for once thinking of now and the future. A lot better than my mindset in the last year anyway.
Man, my last two years have been quite a trip. I can't help but feel a lot better looking at myself then, or a year ago, or even 6 months ago, compared to now. I really have one person to thank, and its certaintly not myself. She knows who she is.
Today the oh so familiar feeling of being in limbo hit me today. Today was neither bad nor good. Just a little too long, random, and confusing. Work was good but commuting back sucked. My mom went from pissed off rants at the slightest thing i did wrong to practically grabbing my cheek and telling me how "cute i am." I tried messing around on garageband with this song i'm trying to cut up and remix but i just got frustrated at my own imcompotance. Is that how you spell it?
Getting a lot better at dj mixing and recording my lucid dreams though. And I think I have a second job finally lined up. June will be alright after all.
Twelve more days and I'll be in Austin to see Sarah. Oh yeah, and the Streets and Lady Sov. Oh and Carter too.
I feel a lot better than I did last summer. Well not so much better, its been just as hard being back home as it was last break, but I dunno, though far from perfect I feel a less anxious and uncertain about things. Like just now I was reading old very painful lj entries from last summer of a certain someone, but here's the thing, I just let it go. Its the past, and the great thing about the past is that it doesn't define "now." I know this is a big "DUH" but I dunno, it was just great feeling content for once thinking of now and the future. A lot better than my mindset in the last year anyway.
Man, my last two years have been quite a trip. I can't help but feel a lot better looking at myself then, or a year ago, or even 6 months ago, compared to now. I really have one person to thank, and its certaintly not myself. She knows who she is.