Fic: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs (9/?)
Title: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs (9/?)
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1145Spoliers: None, really.
Disclaimer: Not at all like what I usually write. A little angsty, but knowing me, it’ll turn fluffy at some point. Some trauma triggers in there. Be warned.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don’t own these characters.
A/N: Thanks to my beta, sky_splitz for encouraging me to test out these new, angsty waters.
**Thank you all again for your thoughts and comments on this story. It means so much that you would open up, not just about your impressions on my story, but about your own lives. Please continue to share your thoughts. It means the world to me.**
After they left the police station, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez took the entire club, Mr. Shuester included, out to dinner at Breadsticks. Santana was exhausted, but frankly, she needed the distraction.
She leaned on Rachel’s shoulder, laughing as her mother sat next to Puck, surrounding him with burgers, fries, sodas, and ice packs for his battered knuckles.
Just before the entrées arrived, Mr. Lopez ordered two cold beers. When they came, he slid one in front of Puck.
“For your hands,” he said simply, then tapped his own beer against it and took a deep swig.
Puck nodded.
The rest of the evening, much to Santana’s surprise, was pretty normal. Nobody brought up anything that happened at the police station. Instead, they just talked and laughed. Santana watched as Brittany and Quinn gossiped, smiling every time Quinn would look back and search her eyes.
“I’m okay, Q,” Santana said with a little smile. “You don’t have to check up on me.”
“Too bad,” Quinn said, flipping her hair and resuming her conversation.
Santana laughed and shook her head. Even when Quinn was trying to be nice, she was a pain in the ass.
…
After dinner, Rachel went with Santana and her parents back to the Lopez house. She had called her dads on the way and told them, in no small terms, that she was taking the following day off of school because Santana had a meeting with the District Attorney and demanded to accompany her since Mr. and Mrs. Lopez had work. Apparently, Rachel’s fathers had assumed as much because there was a bag, big enough for a week, waiting for her by the Lopez’s front door.
After the girls washed up and changed into pajamas, Santana’s parents came in to say goodnight. They each kissed Santana’s forehead, lingering wordlessly for a moment before moving to give Rachel a kiss as well.
“Goodnight girls,” her mother said before silently shutting the door.
Santana closed her eyes and rested her head on Rachel’s chest, savoring the feeling of her girlfriend’s fingertips brushing through her hair.
“Looks like the open door policy is over,” Santana said, scooting up and pressing a kiss to Rachel’s lips.
“Santana, you’ve just had a difficult day. Surely you aren’t in the mood to push your boundaries right now.”
“God, no,” Santana said, turning onto her side and tangling her legs with Rachel’s. “My nerves are way too frayed for that right now. But, after the day I’ve had, I just…I need to feel you.”
Rachel smiled, twirling a lock of Santana’s hair around her finger. Santana needed to feel normal, needed to feel in control. And that was something Rachel could give her.
“I’m all yours,” she whispered, bringing her hand to cup behind Santana’s neck as she pulled her closer.
“You can’t do that,” Santana said, inching back, her eyes wide. “Please, don’t do that. Just…let me.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said, dropping her hand softly.
“Don’t be,” Santana whispered, brushing her lips against Rachel’s. “I just…you can’t touch me, okay? Just let me do this.”
“I trust you,” Rachel said, raising her arms up so Santana could ease off her shirt, and then lifting her hips so her underwear could be removed. The breath spilled out of Rachel’s lungs when she felt Santana’s lips ghosting across her collarbone. “I love you so much, S. I promise, everything is going to be okay.”
“I love you too,” Santana whispered, moving to straddle Rachel’s hips. “I could never do this without you.”
“I’m sure you could find somebody else to have sex with,” Rachel said, chuckling, before Santana’s thumbs circled her nipples and her breath caught on a moan.
“You know what I mean,” Santana said, pinching and tweaking, savoring every jump of Rachel’s hips between her legs.
“I do,” Rachel confirmed, her hands itching to reach out for Santana but fisting in the sheets instead. “But you’re stronger than you think.”
“I’m stronger when I’m with you,” Santana said, drawing lazy patterns with her fingertips against Rachel’s abdomen. “You’re so amazing.”
“I’ve been trying to tell you that for years…Oh, God,” Rachel said, rotating her hips as Santana’s fingers found her clit.
Santana moved against Rachel softly, drinking in the way her hips would arch up and tremor lightly as they came back down. She fell in love with Rachel all over again, each and every time Rachel stopped herself from wrapping her legs around Santana’s waist, instead moaning and spreading them apart farther.
Rachel let out a deep, guttural groan when Santana softly pushed two fingers inside of her. Rachel’s hands flew to her own chest, pulling at her nipples softly as Santana moved slowly inside of her, curling her fingers each time they slid in.
“God, Santana, you feel so good,” Rachel said breathlessly as her eyes fluttered closed.
This was home for Santana. Everything else in her life was confusing, terrifying even. But this, Rachel…this made sense. She knew how Rachel’s body worked, knew the way it twitched, convulsed, and contracted. She knew that Rachel would be there when this was over. When all of this was over.
“San, I’m so close,” Rachel whimpered, reaching backwards and grabbing the headboard as she moved against Santana’s fingers.
“Come for me, then,” Santana said, placing one elbow on the side of Rachel’s head as she continued to move inside of Rachel. “Come for me.”
Rachel groaned, her hips freezing mid-air for a moment before they pistoned lightly against Santana’s hand. After a moment, her entire body relaxed and her hands dropped back to the bed.
“God, Santana, that was amazing,” Rachel said, wiping the sweat off of her forehead as she came down from the high. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Santana said, wiping her eyes with her free hand. “I’m just overwhelmed.”
“Come here,” Rachel whispered, reaching for Santana’s wrist, shuddering slightly as she removed it from between her legs.
Santana nodded, and turned onto her side facing the window, sighing as Rachel wrapped her arms around her from behind.
“I think it’s totally normal for you to feel overwhelmed right now,” Rachel said, snuggling closer to her girlfriend. “But the good news is that you have me, you have the entire Glee club, and you have your parents to take as much of the pressure off of you as we possibly can.”
“But at the end of the day, it’s only on me,” Santana said.
“There’s no such thing as ‘only you’ in this equation,” Rachel replied, pressing a kiss to Santana’s shoulder. “Or in any equation, for that matter.”
Santana was silent for a moment, content to feel Rachel breathing against her.
“You’re going to come with me to the DA tomorrow, right?”
“Of course I am,” Rachel said. “My fathers packed my business suit for me.”
Santana rolled her eyes, grinning into the pillow.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1145Spoliers: None, really.
Disclaimer: Not at all like what I usually write. A little angsty, but knowing me, it’ll turn fluffy at some point. Some trauma triggers in there. Be warned.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don’t own these characters.
A/N: Thanks to my beta, sky_splitz for encouraging me to test out these new, angsty waters.
**Thank you all again for your thoughts and comments on this story. It means so much that you would open up, not just about your impressions on my story, but about your own lives. Please continue to share your thoughts. It means the world to me.**
After they left the police station, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez took the entire club, Mr. Shuester included, out to dinner at Breadsticks. Santana was exhausted, but frankly, she needed the distraction.
She leaned on Rachel’s shoulder, laughing as her mother sat next to Puck, surrounding him with burgers, fries, sodas, and ice packs for his battered knuckles.
Just before the entrées arrived, Mr. Lopez ordered two cold beers. When they came, he slid one in front of Puck.
“For your hands,” he said simply, then tapped his own beer against it and took a deep swig.
Puck nodded.
The rest of the evening, much to Santana’s surprise, was pretty normal. Nobody brought up anything that happened at the police station. Instead, they just talked and laughed. Santana watched as Brittany and Quinn gossiped, smiling every time Quinn would look back and search her eyes.
“I’m okay, Q,” Santana said with a little smile. “You don’t have to check up on me.”
“Too bad,” Quinn said, flipping her hair and resuming her conversation.
Santana laughed and shook her head. Even when Quinn was trying to be nice, she was a pain in the ass.
…
After dinner, Rachel went with Santana and her parents back to the Lopez house. She had called her dads on the way and told them, in no small terms, that she was taking the following day off of school because Santana had a meeting with the District Attorney and demanded to accompany her since Mr. and Mrs. Lopez had work. Apparently, Rachel’s fathers had assumed as much because there was a bag, big enough for a week, waiting for her by the Lopez’s front door.
After the girls washed up and changed into pajamas, Santana’s parents came in to say goodnight. They each kissed Santana’s forehead, lingering wordlessly for a moment before moving to give Rachel a kiss as well.
“Goodnight girls,” her mother said before silently shutting the door.
Santana closed her eyes and rested her head on Rachel’s chest, savoring the feeling of her girlfriend’s fingertips brushing through her hair.
“Looks like the open door policy is over,” Santana said, scooting up and pressing a kiss to Rachel’s lips.
“Santana, you’ve just had a difficult day. Surely you aren’t in the mood to push your boundaries right now.”
“God, no,” Santana said, turning onto her side and tangling her legs with Rachel’s. “My nerves are way too frayed for that right now. But, after the day I’ve had, I just…I need to feel you.”
Rachel smiled, twirling a lock of Santana’s hair around her finger. Santana needed to feel normal, needed to feel in control. And that was something Rachel could give her.
“I’m all yours,” she whispered, bringing her hand to cup behind Santana’s neck as she pulled her closer.
“You can’t do that,” Santana said, inching back, her eyes wide. “Please, don’t do that. Just…let me.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said, dropping her hand softly.
“Don’t be,” Santana whispered, brushing her lips against Rachel’s. “I just…you can’t touch me, okay? Just let me do this.”
“I trust you,” Rachel said, raising her arms up so Santana could ease off her shirt, and then lifting her hips so her underwear could be removed. The breath spilled out of Rachel’s lungs when she felt Santana’s lips ghosting across her collarbone. “I love you so much, S. I promise, everything is going to be okay.”
“I love you too,” Santana whispered, moving to straddle Rachel’s hips. “I could never do this without you.”
“I’m sure you could find somebody else to have sex with,” Rachel said, chuckling, before Santana’s thumbs circled her nipples and her breath caught on a moan.
“You know what I mean,” Santana said, pinching and tweaking, savoring every jump of Rachel’s hips between her legs.
“I do,” Rachel confirmed, her hands itching to reach out for Santana but fisting in the sheets instead. “But you’re stronger than you think.”
“I’m stronger when I’m with you,” Santana said, drawing lazy patterns with her fingertips against Rachel’s abdomen. “You’re so amazing.”
“I’ve been trying to tell you that for years…Oh, God,” Rachel said, rotating her hips as Santana’s fingers found her clit.
Santana moved against Rachel softly, drinking in the way her hips would arch up and tremor lightly as they came back down. She fell in love with Rachel all over again, each and every time Rachel stopped herself from wrapping her legs around Santana’s waist, instead moaning and spreading them apart farther.
Rachel let out a deep, guttural groan when Santana softly pushed two fingers inside of her. Rachel’s hands flew to her own chest, pulling at her nipples softly as Santana moved slowly inside of her, curling her fingers each time they slid in.
“God, Santana, you feel so good,” Rachel said breathlessly as her eyes fluttered closed.
This was home for Santana. Everything else in her life was confusing, terrifying even. But this, Rachel…this made sense. She knew how Rachel’s body worked, knew the way it twitched, convulsed, and contracted. She knew that Rachel would be there when this was over. When all of this was over.
“San, I’m so close,” Rachel whimpered, reaching backwards and grabbing the headboard as she moved against Santana’s fingers.
“Come for me, then,” Santana said, placing one elbow on the side of Rachel’s head as she continued to move inside of Rachel. “Come for me.”
Rachel groaned, her hips freezing mid-air for a moment before they pistoned lightly against Santana’s hand. After a moment, her entire body relaxed and her hands dropped back to the bed.
“God, Santana, that was amazing,” Rachel said, wiping the sweat off of her forehead as she came down from the high. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Santana said, wiping her eyes with her free hand. “I’m just overwhelmed.”
“Come here,” Rachel whispered, reaching for Santana’s wrist, shuddering slightly as she removed it from between her legs.
Santana nodded, and turned onto her side facing the window, sighing as Rachel wrapped her arms around her from behind.
“I think it’s totally normal for you to feel overwhelmed right now,” Rachel said, snuggling closer to her girlfriend. “But the good news is that you have me, you have the entire Glee club, and you have your parents to take as much of the pressure off of you as we possibly can.”
“But at the end of the day, it’s only on me,” Santana said.
“There’s no such thing as ‘only you’ in this equation,” Rachel replied, pressing a kiss to Santana’s shoulder. “Or in any equation, for that matter.”
Santana was silent for a moment, content to feel Rachel breathing against her.
“You’re going to come with me to the DA tomorrow, right?”
“Of course I am,” Rachel said. “My fathers packed my business suit for me.”
Santana rolled her eyes, grinning into the pillow.