Fic: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs (13/?)
Title: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs (13/?)
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Rating: NC-17 fort this part
Word Count: 3,650
Spoliers: None, really.
Disclaimer: Not at all like what I usually write. A little angsty, but knowing me, it’ll turn fluffy at some point. Some trauma triggers in there. Be warned.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don’t own these characters.
A/N: Thanks to my beta, sky_splitz for encouraging me to test out these new, angsty waters.
***Once again, thanks so much for all of your comments. I'm actually really nervous about what you guys will think about this chapter. Hopefully, you'll understand what I was trying to do with it. Please, quell my self-conscious quirks and let me know. Now, sit back and enjoy!"
After her testimony, Santana and her parents made their way back to the Berry’s house for dinner. As soon as they walked into the house, Santana made a beeline for Rachel’s bedroom.
“I’ll go up with her,” Rachel said to all four parents, pausing half way up the stairs. “In all likelihood, we won’t be coming down to eat.”
“Ok, sweetie,” Rachel’s father, Irving said. “Take care of her.”
“She always does,” Mr. Lopez said, smiling sadly as Rachel climbed the stairs.
…
“Can I come in?” Rachel said, knocking softly, gently pushing the door open when she didn’t hear anything.
When she walked in, Santana was laying on the bed facing her, staring ahead blankly.
“How’re you feeling?’ Rachel asked, laying down next to her girlfriend.
“Fine,” Santana said, continuing to stare ahead as if Rachel wasn’t right in front of her. “Numb.”
Rachel nodded. “I can understand that.”
“I just want this to be over,” Santana said, sighing as she moved to rest her head on Rachel’s shoulder.
“I know,” Rachel replied, running her fingers through Santana’s hair. “It’ll be over soon.”
“He was right, you know,” Santana said quietly, a few moments later.
“Who was right?”
“The lawyer.”
“Santana, you cannot possibly believe that anything that…that…slimebag said,” Rachel stated, her body tensing up with anger.
Rachel had been afraid of this. She had known the second that she met Mr. Lane in the police station that he was going to fire every weapon he had at Santana. She had watched with such pride as her girlfriend powered through her testimony, reliving the worst day of her life for the thousandth time. Then she watched, helpless, while Santana struggled to maintain composure as Lane battered her with doubts and questions and pointed fingers.
Santana hadn’t cracked on the stand. Instead she fought back, challenged everything that Lane said, standing up for herself even under the weight of such brutal accusation. But Rachel had been terrified from the moment they left the courtroom that Santana was simply delaying the pain, that they’d arrive home and Santana would completely fall apart. It’d be completely understandable, obviously, but Santana had come so far, made so much progress. Rachel’s body hummed with frustration that one man could conceivably shatter everything that her girlfriend had worked toward.
“He was right about something,” Santana said, “About why I never tried to stop those rumors.”
“Santana, that man - and I use the term man loosely, by the way - was only trying to cast you in a negative light.” Rachel said angrily. “You can’t possibly -”
“But he was right about one thing,” Santana said calmly, hurrying to continue before Rachel started a tirade. “I never stopped those rumors about me because they meant I was wanted.”
“That doesn’t mean -“
“Let me finish,” Santana said, taking Rachel’s hand. “Most girls would deny it if guys like Puck said they had slept together. But I…I liked it. I liked the attention. I liked that I was worthy of bragging about, that I was the person guys thought of when they made up stories about their conquests. So I let the rumors pass. Fuck, sometimes I even encouraged them. But that guy…that asshole lawyer…made it sound like I was asking to get attacked. Like the fact that I let a few rumors go meant that I was down for anything. But that’s bullshit. You know it, I know it, and most importantly, the fucking jury knows it. I know you came in here expecting me to be crying, but I’m not sad. I’m pissed.”
“Good,” Rachel said, her jaw set as a swell of pride bubbled up through her. “Pissed is good.”
“I’m going to be okay, you know,” Santana said, smiling up at her girlfriend.
“If you can be this calm after the day you’ve had…I have absolutely no doubts that you’ll be just fine,” Rachel said, nodding. “Although, this does present a slight setback in my plans for this evening.”
“Oh?” Santana said, pressing a kiss to Rachel’s cheek. “How so?”
“Well…I prepared a brief presentation on why Mr. Lane’s line of questioning was completely erroneous and then set aside forty-seven minutes to comfort you before bringing you dinner in bed,” Rachel said, furrowing her eyebrows. “But apparently you don’t need comforting.”
Santana blinked for a moment then, unable to stop herself, she burst out laughing.
“Santana, while I understand that you’re in a fragile emotional state right now, I would advise you to stop laughing at me,” Rachel said, her eyes narrowing.
Santana just laughed harder.
“I’m warning you…” Rachel said, her eyes darkening.
“Why, what are you going to do?” Santana said, still giggling. “Wait, wait, tell me why through PowerPoint.”
“That’s it!” Rachel said with a grin as she pounced on her girlfriend, reaching to tickle her.
Which was when she saw panic flash briefly against Santana’s face.
“Shit, Santana, I’m sorry,” Rachel said, hurrying to move away and falling off the bed in the process.
“Rachel, calm down,” Santana said, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay.”
“You just weren’t…you seemed okay, and I…I didn’t think. I just - ”
“Seriously, Rach, I’m fine,” Santana said, moving to help Rachel up from the floor. “You just startled me, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Rachel, it’s going to take a lot more than a sneak tickle attack to propel me into a downward spiral of terror.”
Rachel nodded, sitting back down on the bed.
“I’m sorry I laughed at you,” Santana said, laying back down and pulling Rachel with her.
“I still don’t see what was so funny,” Rachel huffed.
“You’re just so cute,” Santana said, smiling against Rachel’s shoulder.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, I mean, you thought up a Comfort Santana Itinerary…that’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me.”
“And that’s funny how?”
“Well…I mean, Rach…it’s kind anal retentive.”
“Santana Lopez, I was trying to ensure that you were emotionally stable after the long and difficult day you’ve had! The least you could do is not make fun of me!” Rachel whined.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” Santana said, giggling.
“But you kept laughing…”
“Well, you threatened me,” Santana said. “It was adorable.”
“I’m not adorable,” Rachel said. “I’m tough.”
“Of course you are,” Santana said, holding Rachel tighter. “Now, come on tough guy. Let’s go get some dinner. Mama Lopez is cooking.”
Rachel nodded, briefly squeezing Santana around the waist before standing up.
“Wait a minute,” Rachel said, a look of abject horror on her face. “Does your mother cook like…you?”
“I know what you’re implying and I don’t like it,” Santana said, narrowing her eyes as she walked out of the room.
“It wasn’t really an implication,” Rachel mumbled as she followed, hesitating before she walked into the kitchen, half expecting it to be burnt to the ground.
…
After dinner - which was actually incredible - the girls said goodnight to their parents as Rachel’s fathers set up the guest bedroom. Mr. and Mrs. Lopez wouldn’t leave their daughter, and Rachel was practically attached to Santana’s side, so it just made sense for them to stay with the Berry’s for the night.
When Rachel came in from the bathroom after washing up, Santana was curled on the bed, moving up and down with silent sobs.
“Oh, sweetie,” Rachel said, her heart breaking a little as she rushed over to Santana and began rubbing circles on her back. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Santana whispered, the tears flowing freely. “I was fine a second ago.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Rachel said softly. “You’ve had an impossible day, what you’re feeling right now is totally normal.”
“How do you know?” Santana asked.
“Because I’m Rachel Berry. I know everything.”
Santana laughed, sitting up slightly as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
“Seriously, Santana. You’re confused, upset, angry, overwhelmed, and probably exhausted. You can’t expect yourself to handle all of that without letting some of it out. You may be the strongest person I’ve ever met, but you’re also human.”
Santana smiled and nodded.
“Now come on, let’s get you out of these clothes and into bed,” Rachel said, pulling Santana up until she was seated on the bed.
Bending over, Rachel grasped Santana’s left foot, pulled off her sock and softly kissed her ankle. After she repeated with the other foot, Rachel leaned forward, gripped Santana’s sweater, and slowly lifted it off before gently brushing her lips against Santana’s neck. Then she reached down and unbuttoned Santana’s pants, pressing a kiss to Santana’s abdomen as she waited for her girlfriend to lift her hips.
“You make me feel so loved,” Santana said, wonder in her eyes.
“You are loved,” Rachel replied, smiling as she shifted slightly to grab the pajamas she had laid out for Santana. “Lift your arms.”
Instead of lifting her arms over her head, though, Santana reached out and threaded her fingers in Rachel’s hair.
Rachel paused and sat back on her knees, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling.
“I…don’t know what I would have done without you,” Santana said, leaning forward and resting her forehead on Rachel’s.
“You would have been fine,” Rachel said. “You have a bigger support network than you realize.”
“Sure, I would have been fine,” Santana said, lifting Rachel’s chin so that their eyes met. “But I wouldn’t have been good. Somehow, even with all of the fear and anger, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. You make me happier than I’ve ever been. And, apparently, a lot mushier too.”
Rachel laughed. “I like you mushy.”
Santana smiled, then brushed her lips against Rachel’s, sighing as Rachel leaned forward slightly to meet her.
The kiss was slow, Rachel’s lips sliding languidly against Santana’s.
Gently, Santana took the nightshirt that Rachel was still clutching and placed it on the floor. Then, as she moved to the other side of the bed, Santana reached behind her and undid the clasp on her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Her underwear followed shortly after.
“Santana,” Rachel said, her voice dripping with desire as Santana lay down on the bed. “This…we don’t have to do this. Just because we did last night doesn’t mean that you need to feel obligated and you’ve had a difficult -”
“Rachel,” Santana said, cutting her off. “I just…I want you.”
“Are you sure?” Rachel said, laying down on her side next to Santana.
Santana smiled, then tangled her hands in Rachel’s hair and brought their lips back together.
“Good answer,” Rachel mumbled between kisses, enjoying the feeling of Santana smiling against her lips.
They stayed like that for a long time, lips brushing against each other, tongues lazily dancing, fingertips wandering. Santana sighed when Rachel began to kiss down her neck, across her collarbone, and between her breasts, her breath hitching when Rachel wrapped her lips around her nipple.
“That feels so good,” Santana said, closing her eyes against the pleasure.
“That’s the goal,” Rachel replied softly, before moving to the other breast.
After a moment, Rachel slowly made her way down, trailing the tip of her tongue to the underside of Santana’s breasts, zig zagging across her stomach savoring the feeling of Santana’s muscles tensing under her lips.
When she brushed her lips against the quickly dampening curls at the apex of Santana’s thighs, Santana’s legs pressed together.
Rachel backed off immediately, looking up at her girlfriend.
“I’m okay,” Santana said, her chest heaving. “I’m just…I’ve never done this before.”
“Neither have I,” Rachel said, smiling. “But we don’t have to…if you’re not ready for it.”
“No, I mean…I want to,” Santana said, licking her lips. “Believe me, I want to. I just needed a second.”
“Is that second over now?” Rachel asked, smirking.
“Um…yes?” Santana said, her heart rate picking up.
“Okay then,” Rachel replied, brushing her fingers along Santana’s thighs. Gradually, Santana’s legs loosened again and Rachel slowly bent them at the knee before laying down on her stomach.
She pressed a kiss to the inside of Santana’s left thigh, nipping and sucking lightly. She felt Santana’s breath quicken as she repeated the process on the other thigh.
“Rachel,” Santana whimpered.
“Yes?”
“I need you…stop teasing me.”
“As you wish,” Rachel replied. “But your parents are just across the hall, and soundproofed though this room is, you’ll need to keep the decibel of your screams to a minimum if you don’t want them to walk in.”
Santana was literally in the middle of rolling her eyes when she felt the tip of Rachel’s tongue against her. The laugh that had been building at Rachel’s concept of bedroom talk died in her throat as her mouth fell open.
“Oh…god,” Santana whispered, her hips involuntarily beginning to roll against Rachel’s mouth.
Rachel hadn’t really known what to expect when she had ventured down there. She briefly thought it might be weird, taste weird, smell weird, so she was tentative at first, swiping her tongue across Santana’s clit and then leaning back for a moment to process the taste. It was…great. Amazing, even. So she became bolder, flattening her tongue against her girlfriend’s entrance and slowly dragging it to the nub that was becoming increasingly swollen.
“Dios mio, Rach…are you sure you’ve never done this before?” Santana panted, a strangled cry escaping her lips as Rachel wrapped her lips around her clit.
“You’re the first,” Rachel said, pressing a quick kiss to Santana’s clit between each word, smirking when her girlfriend’s hips jumped.
Santana propped herself up on her elbows, watching through a haze of pleasure as Rachel’s head bobbed between her legs. It was by far the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. She breathed deeply, gasping as her eyes fluttered closed every few seconds.
When she felt Rachel’s teeth close around her clit, Santana’s arms gave out and she fell backwards, arching off the bed as she tangled her hands in Rachel’s hair and held her in place.
“God, god, god, don’t stop,” Santana groaned, tugging at Rachel’s hair, her hips rocketing up and down as her feet dug into the bed, her toes curling desperately.
Rachel smiled against her, bringing her hand up under her chin and gently circling Santana’s entrance with her finger before slowly pushing it in.
Santana’s hands flew to the bedpost behind her; she gripped it tightly, using it to grind down harder, chanting Rachel’s name over and over.
After a few moments, Rachel added another finger, curling them each time she swiped her tongue across her girlfriend’s clit.
Santana was shaking, biting the fleshy part of her arm to keep from screaming. The pleasure was building up inside of her at an alarming rate, white hot and ready to burst.
“So close,” she whimpered between clenched teeth.
“Come for me,” Rachel said, biting down on Santana’s clit as she curled her fingers ruthlessly.
“God!” Santana moaned, her eyes snapping shut, her arms grabbing at the bedpost, then the sheets, then Rachel’s hair.
Slowly, Rachel worked her down, circling Santana’s clit until she began to twitch uncomfortably.
“God,” Santana repeated, gasping for air as she finally went limp on the bed. “That was…god, I can’t even breathe.”
“I aim to please,” Rachel said, climbing over her girlfriend and gently lowering herself on the bed next to her. “That was amazing.”
“You’re telling me,” Santana choked out.
“I…I really didn’t expect you to want that, not after the day you’ve had,” Rachel asked, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek. “But you’re…you’re okay?”
“Better than,” Santana said. Sure, she had been freaked out for a little bit, but that was more because it was a new experience than it was about panic. She smiled, a deep breath of relief tumbling out when she realized that.
“You taste so good,” Rachel said softly, tracing Santana’s bottom lip with her tongue. “Want to taste?”
“I’d rather taste you,” Santana said with a smirk, her breathing finally evening out as she pulled Rachel’s lip into her mouth.
Rachel smiled against the kiss. “Come and get it then,” she whispered, laying flat on her back and spreading her legs wide open.
Santana’s eyes widened, her heart nearly stopping at Rachel’s boldness. Oh, she was going to get it, all right.
“You’re fucking sexy, you know that?” Santana whispered, rolling over and brushing her lips just below Rachel’s ear.
“So I’ve been told,” Rachel said, sighing happily.
“Yeah?” Santana asked, trailing kisses down Rachel’s neck and across her collarbone as she skimmed her fingertips up and down her side. “By who?”
“You mean whom,” Rachel mumbled, jerking when Santana brought her hand to her breast.
“You’re making fun of my grammar?” Santana asked with a smirk as she rolled Rachel’s nipple between her fingers.
“I…I don’t know,” Rachel panted, her hips beginning to roll, ever so slightly.
“I think you are,” Santana whispered, pinching the nipple harshly as she moved to straddle her girlfriend’s waist.
“God,” Rachel groaned. “I’ll keep making fun of you if this is what I get for it.”
Santana chuckled, then brought her lips down to replace her fingers, her tongue tracing circles, painfully slow circles.
Rachel was so turned on that she could barely think. She felt the sweat beginning to seep up through her pores just as the wetness between her legs was pooling. She knew Santana wanted to take her time, that she felt safest when she was in control, but honestly, Rachel was about to crawl out of her skin. She dug her nails into Santana’s sides, tensing and flexing them with each movement of Santana’s mouth against her.
“S, I need…you to touch me,” Rachel said, licking her lips, which were suddenly bone dry.
Santana nodded, her entire body overcome with love for this girl, this girl that always gave herself so freely, that always understood so completely what to do, and what not to do, to make Santana feel safe.
She leaned forward, capturing Rachel in a kiss so gentle, so delicious that Rachel lost herself in it. The ache between her legs fell to the background as Santana’s lips slid against hers, as their tongues moved together slowly.
That was, at least, until Santana trailed her hand down Rachel’s abdomen and slipped two fingers inside of her.
Rachel’s broke the kiss with a groan, her fingers fisting in Santana’s hair as her eyes fluttering closed.
“Open your eyes,” Santana whispered, kissing her cheek. “I want you to watch.”
With great difficulty, Rachel complied, her pupils blown out as Santana moved inside of her slowly and deliberately.
“I love you so much,” Santana said, savoring the way Rachel’s breath hitched when she curled her fingers.
Santana rolled her hips, pushing her fingers in deeper as Rachel arched beneath her.
“You’re…killing me,” Rachel whimpered, her eyes locked with Santana’s, when she felt her girlfriend’s thumb on her clit.
“You saved me,” Santana said, panting as she moved against Rachel.
Rachel smiled, moving to cup the back of Santana’s neck with one hand, the other flexing on Santana’s hip, urging her on.
All of a sudden, Santana removed her fingers.
“What…what are…baby -”
“I told you,” Santana said with a smirk. “I want to taste you.”
Rachel’s eyes widened as Santana shimmied downward, trailing hot kisses down her abdomen. She wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to, but as Santana lifted her legs over her shoulders, the protest died in her mouth.
Santana didn’t waste any time; there were no lingering kisses to Rachel’s thighs, no cool air gently blown between Rachel’s legs, just a tongue sliding up and down, just lips wrapping and circling and sucking. Santana groaned as Rachel’s wetness coated her tongue; she tasted incredible. For Santana, Rachel was the stuff addictions were made of.
Rachel’s whole body tensed, a strangled cry escaping her lips as her feet dug into Santana’s back.
“Oh my god,” she whimpered, her hips beginning to roll feverishly under Santana’s mouth. “Jesus, God!”
Santana’s fingers were back inside of her just as quickly as they had disappeared moments before. Rachel let out a deep, guttural groan, her hands shaking as the grabbed the sheets next to her. She could feel herself getting close, so close, with every flick of Santana’s tongue, every painfully slow curl of her fingers.
“God, I love you,” Rachel cried, her hands flying to fist in Santana’s hair. “I love you so much.”
Santana grinned and began moving faster. She added another finger and gave several sharp bites to Rachel’s clit, groaning as Rachel’s hips jerked underneath her.
“So close,” Rachel whimpered as she let go of Santana’s hair with one hand to desperately reach for a pillow. “So fucking close.”
Santana wrapped her lips around Rachel’s clit and, with a few more thrusts, Rachel came, screaming into the pillow and riding Santana’s tongue through each aftershock.
“God,” Rachel breathed, as Santana kissed her way back up to Rachel’s lips. “Jesus Christ.”
“Santana will do just fine, thanks.”
“Noted,” Rachel said, laughing weakly.
“I love you too, you know,” Santana whispered, gently nipping Rachel’s earlobe.
“I know,” Rachel said, smiling as her breathing began to even out. “But you need to stop doing or we’ll wind up starting something that neither of us can finish.”
“Who says I can’t finish?”
“Santana, your eyes are already closing.”
“I’m not tired,” Santana said mid-yawn as she rolled over and wrapped her arm around Rachel’s waist.
“I know, baby,” Rachel said, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. “But let’s sleep. For me.”
“For you,” Santana mumbled, as she drifted off.
Rachel knew Santana slept best when she was completely exhausted and hoped to God that she had done her job well enough. As she felt her own eyes flutter shut, she snuggled into her girlfriend, praying that she found peace tonight.
Tomorrow, they’d hear the closing arguments.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Rating: NC-17 fort this part
Word Count: 3,650
Spoliers: None, really.
Disclaimer: Not at all like what I usually write. A little angsty, but knowing me, it’ll turn fluffy at some point. Some trauma triggers in there. Be warned.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don’t own these characters.
A/N: Thanks to my beta, sky_splitz for encouraging me to test out these new, angsty waters.
***Once again, thanks so much for all of your comments. I'm actually really nervous about what you guys will think about this chapter. Hopefully, you'll understand what I was trying to do with it. Please, quell my self-conscious quirks and let me know. Now, sit back and enjoy!"
After her testimony, Santana and her parents made their way back to the Berry’s house for dinner. As soon as they walked into the house, Santana made a beeline for Rachel’s bedroom.
“I’ll go up with her,” Rachel said to all four parents, pausing half way up the stairs. “In all likelihood, we won’t be coming down to eat.”
“Ok, sweetie,” Rachel’s father, Irving said. “Take care of her.”
“She always does,” Mr. Lopez said, smiling sadly as Rachel climbed the stairs.
…
“Can I come in?” Rachel said, knocking softly, gently pushing the door open when she didn’t hear anything.
When she walked in, Santana was laying on the bed facing her, staring ahead blankly.
“How’re you feeling?’ Rachel asked, laying down next to her girlfriend.
“Fine,” Santana said, continuing to stare ahead as if Rachel wasn’t right in front of her. “Numb.”
Rachel nodded. “I can understand that.”
“I just want this to be over,” Santana said, sighing as she moved to rest her head on Rachel’s shoulder.
“I know,” Rachel replied, running her fingers through Santana’s hair. “It’ll be over soon.”
“He was right, you know,” Santana said quietly, a few moments later.
“Who was right?”
“The lawyer.”
“Santana, you cannot possibly believe that anything that…that…slimebag said,” Rachel stated, her body tensing up with anger.
Rachel had been afraid of this. She had known the second that she met Mr. Lane in the police station that he was going to fire every weapon he had at Santana. She had watched with such pride as her girlfriend powered through her testimony, reliving the worst day of her life for the thousandth time. Then she watched, helpless, while Santana struggled to maintain composure as Lane battered her with doubts and questions and pointed fingers.
Santana hadn’t cracked on the stand. Instead she fought back, challenged everything that Lane said, standing up for herself even under the weight of such brutal accusation. But Rachel had been terrified from the moment they left the courtroom that Santana was simply delaying the pain, that they’d arrive home and Santana would completely fall apart. It’d be completely understandable, obviously, but Santana had come so far, made so much progress. Rachel’s body hummed with frustration that one man could conceivably shatter everything that her girlfriend had worked toward.
“He was right about something,” Santana said, “About why I never tried to stop those rumors.”
“Santana, that man - and I use the term man loosely, by the way - was only trying to cast you in a negative light.” Rachel said angrily. “You can’t possibly -”
“But he was right about one thing,” Santana said calmly, hurrying to continue before Rachel started a tirade. “I never stopped those rumors about me because they meant I was wanted.”
“That doesn’t mean -“
“Let me finish,” Santana said, taking Rachel’s hand. “Most girls would deny it if guys like Puck said they had slept together. But I…I liked it. I liked the attention. I liked that I was worthy of bragging about, that I was the person guys thought of when they made up stories about their conquests. So I let the rumors pass. Fuck, sometimes I even encouraged them. But that guy…that asshole lawyer…made it sound like I was asking to get attacked. Like the fact that I let a few rumors go meant that I was down for anything. But that’s bullshit. You know it, I know it, and most importantly, the fucking jury knows it. I know you came in here expecting me to be crying, but I’m not sad. I’m pissed.”
“Good,” Rachel said, her jaw set as a swell of pride bubbled up through her. “Pissed is good.”
“I’m going to be okay, you know,” Santana said, smiling up at her girlfriend.
“If you can be this calm after the day you’ve had…I have absolutely no doubts that you’ll be just fine,” Rachel said, nodding. “Although, this does present a slight setback in my plans for this evening.”
“Oh?” Santana said, pressing a kiss to Rachel’s cheek. “How so?”
“Well…I prepared a brief presentation on why Mr. Lane’s line of questioning was completely erroneous and then set aside forty-seven minutes to comfort you before bringing you dinner in bed,” Rachel said, furrowing her eyebrows. “But apparently you don’t need comforting.”
Santana blinked for a moment then, unable to stop herself, she burst out laughing.
“Santana, while I understand that you’re in a fragile emotional state right now, I would advise you to stop laughing at me,” Rachel said, her eyes narrowing.
Santana just laughed harder.
“I’m warning you…” Rachel said, her eyes darkening.
“Why, what are you going to do?” Santana said, still giggling. “Wait, wait, tell me why through PowerPoint.”
“That’s it!” Rachel said with a grin as she pounced on her girlfriend, reaching to tickle her.
Which was when she saw panic flash briefly against Santana’s face.
“Shit, Santana, I’m sorry,” Rachel said, hurrying to move away and falling off the bed in the process.
“Rachel, calm down,” Santana said, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay.”
“You just weren’t…you seemed okay, and I…I didn’t think. I just - ”
“Seriously, Rach, I’m fine,” Santana said, moving to help Rachel up from the floor. “You just startled me, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Rachel, it’s going to take a lot more than a sneak tickle attack to propel me into a downward spiral of terror.”
Rachel nodded, sitting back down on the bed.
“I’m sorry I laughed at you,” Santana said, laying back down and pulling Rachel with her.
“I still don’t see what was so funny,” Rachel huffed.
“You’re just so cute,” Santana said, smiling against Rachel’s shoulder.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, I mean, you thought up a Comfort Santana Itinerary…that’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me.”
“And that’s funny how?”
“Well…I mean, Rach…it’s kind anal retentive.”
“Santana Lopez, I was trying to ensure that you were emotionally stable after the long and difficult day you’ve had! The least you could do is not make fun of me!” Rachel whined.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” Santana said, giggling.
“But you kept laughing…”
“Well, you threatened me,” Santana said. “It was adorable.”
“I’m not adorable,” Rachel said. “I’m tough.”
“Of course you are,” Santana said, holding Rachel tighter. “Now, come on tough guy. Let’s go get some dinner. Mama Lopez is cooking.”
Rachel nodded, briefly squeezing Santana around the waist before standing up.
“Wait a minute,” Rachel said, a look of abject horror on her face. “Does your mother cook like…you?”
“I know what you’re implying and I don’t like it,” Santana said, narrowing her eyes as she walked out of the room.
“It wasn’t really an implication,” Rachel mumbled as she followed, hesitating before she walked into the kitchen, half expecting it to be burnt to the ground.
…
After dinner - which was actually incredible - the girls said goodnight to their parents as Rachel’s fathers set up the guest bedroom. Mr. and Mrs. Lopez wouldn’t leave their daughter, and Rachel was practically attached to Santana’s side, so it just made sense for them to stay with the Berry’s for the night.
When Rachel came in from the bathroom after washing up, Santana was curled on the bed, moving up and down with silent sobs.
“Oh, sweetie,” Rachel said, her heart breaking a little as she rushed over to Santana and began rubbing circles on her back. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Santana whispered, the tears flowing freely. “I was fine a second ago.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Rachel said softly. “You’ve had an impossible day, what you’re feeling right now is totally normal.”
“How do you know?” Santana asked.
“Because I’m Rachel Berry. I know everything.”
Santana laughed, sitting up slightly as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
“Seriously, Santana. You’re confused, upset, angry, overwhelmed, and probably exhausted. You can’t expect yourself to handle all of that without letting some of it out. You may be the strongest person I’ve ever met, but you’re also human.”
Santana smiled and nodded.
“Now come on, let’s get you out of these clothes and into bed,” Rachel said, pulling Santana up until she was seated on the bed.
Bending over, Rachel grasped Santana’s left foot, pulled off her sock and softly kissed her ankle. After she repeated with the other foot, Rachel leaned forward, gripped Santana’s sweater, and slowly lifted it off before gently brushing her lips against Santana’s neck. Then she reached down and unbuttoned Santana’s pants, pressing a kiss to Santana’s abdomen as she waited for her girlfriend to lift her hips.
“You make me feel so loved,” Santana said, wonder in her eyes.
“You are loved,” Rachel replied, smiling as she shifted slightly to grab the pajamas she had laid out for Santana. “Lift your arms.”
Instead of lifting her arms over her head, though, Santana reached out and threaded her fingers in Rachel’s hair.
Rachel paused and sat back on her knees, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling.
“I…don’t know what I would have done without you,” Santana said, leaning forward and resting her forehead on Rachel’s.
“You would have been fine,” Rachel said. “You have a bigger support network than you realize.”
“Sure, I would have been fine,” Santana said, lifting Rachel’s chin so that their eyes met. “But I wouldn’t have been good. Somehow, even with all of the fear and anger, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. You make me happier than I’ve ever been. And, apparently, a lot mushier too.”
Rachel laughed. “I like you mushy.”
Santana smiled, then brushed her lips against Rachel’s, sighing as Rachel leaned forward slightly to meet her.
The kiss was slow, Rachel’s lips sliding languidly against Santana’s.
Gently, Santana took the nightshirt that Rachel was still clutching and placed it on the floor. Then, as she moved to the other side of the bed, Santana reached behind her and undid the clasp on her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Her underwear followed shortly after.
“Santana,” Rachel said, her voice dripping with desire as Santana lay down on the bed. “This…we don’t have to do this. Just because we did last night doesn’t mean that you need to feel obligated and you’ve had a difficult -”
“Rachel,” Santana said, cutting her off. “I just…I want you.”
“Are you sure?” Rachel said, laying down on her side next to Santana.
Santana smiled, then tangled her hands in Rachel’s hair and brought their lips back together.
“Good answer,” Rachel mumbled between kisses, enjoying the feeling of Santana smiling against her lips.
They stayed like that for a long time, lips brushing against each other, tongues lazily dancing, fingertips wandering. Santana sighed when Rachel began to kiss down her neck, across her collarbone, and between her breasts, her breath hitching when Rachel wrapped her lips around her nipple.
“That feels so good,” Santana said, closing her eyes against the pleasure.
“That’s the goal,” Rachel replied softly, before moving to the other breast.
After a moment, Rachel slowly made her way down, trailing the tip of her tongue to the underside of Santana’s breasts, zig zagging across her stomach savoring the feeling of Santana’s muscles tensing under her lips.
When she brushed her lips against the quickly dampening curls at the apex of Santana’s thighs, Santana’s legs pressed together.
Rachel backed off immediately, looking up at her girlfriend.
“I’m okay,” Santana said, her chest heaving. “I’m just…I’ve never done this before.”
“Neither have I,” Rachel said, smiling. “But we don’t have to…if you’re not ready for it.”
“No, I mean…I want to,” Santana said, licking her lips. “Believe me, I want to. I just needed a second.”
“Is that second over now?” Rachel asked, smirking.
“Um…yes?” Santana said, her heart rate picking up.
“Okay then,” Rachel replied, brushing her fingers along Santana’s thighs. Gradually, Santana’s legs loosened again and Rachel slowly bent them at the knee before laying down on her stomach.
She pressed a kiss to the inside of Santana’s left thigh, nipping and sucking lightly. She felt Santana’s breath quicken as she repeated the process on the other thigh.
“Rachel,” Santana whimpered.
“Yes?”
“I need you…stop teasing me.”
“As you wish,” Rachel replied. “But your parents are just across the hall, and soundproofed though this room is, you’ll need to keep the decibel of your screams to a minimum if you don’t want them to walk in.”
Santana was literally in the middle of rolling her eyes when she felt the tip of Rachel’s tongue against her. The laugh that had been building at Rachel’s concept of bedroom talk died in her throat as her mouth fell open.
“Oh…god,” Santana whispered, her hips involuntarily beginning to roll against Rachel’s mouth.
Rachel hadn’t really known what to expect when she had ventured down there. She briefly thought it might be weird, taste weird, smell weird, so she was tentative at first, swiping her tongue across Santana’s clit and then leaning back for a moment to process the taste. It was…great. Amazing, even. So she became bolder, flattening her tongue against her girlfriend’s entrance and slowly dragging it to the nub that was becoming increasingly swollen.
“Dios mio, Rach…are you sure you’ve never done this before?” Santana panted, a strangled cry escaping her lips as Rachel wrapped her lips around her clit.
“You’re the first,” Rachel said, pressing a quick kiss to Santana’s clit between each word, smirking when her girlfriend’s hips jumped.
Santana propped herself up on her elbows, watching through a haze of pleasure as Rachel’s head bobbed between her legs. It was by far the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. She breathed deeply, gasping as her eyes fluttered closed every few seconds.
When she felt Rachel’s teeth close around her clit, Santana’s arms gave out and she fell backwards, arching off the bed as she tangled her hands in Rachel’s hair and held her in place.
“God, god, god, don’t stop,” Santana groaned, tugging at Rachel’s hair, her hips rocketing up and down as her feet dug into the bed, her toes curling desperately.
Rachel smiled against her, bringing her hand up under her chin and gently circling Santana’s entrance with her finger before slowly pushing it in.
Santana’s hands flew to the bedpost behind her; she gripped it tightly, using it to grind down harder, chanting Rachel’s name over and over.
After a few moments, Rachel added another finger, curling them each time she swiped her tongue across her girlfriend’s clit.
Santana was shaking, biting the fleshy part of her arm to keep from screaming. The pleasure was building up inside of her at an alarming rate, white hot and ready to burst.
“So close,” she whimpered between clenched teeth.
“Come for me,” Rachel said, biting down on Santana’s clit as she curled her fingers ruthlessly.
“God!” Santana moaned, her eyes snapping shut, her arms grabbing at the bedpost, then the sheets, then Rachel’s hair.
Slowly, Rachel worked her down, circling Santana’s clit until she began to twitch uncomfortably.
“God,” Santana repeated, gasping for air as she finally went limp on the bed. “That was…god, I can’t even breathe.”
“I aim to please,” Rachel said, climbing over her girlfriend and gently lowering herself on the bed next to her. “That was amazing.”
“You’re telling me,” Santana choked out.
“I…I really didn’t expect you to want that, not after the day you’ve had,” Rachel asked, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek. “But you’re…you’re okay?”
“Better than,” Santana said. Sure, she had been freaked out for a little bit, but that was more because it was a new experience than it was about panic. She smiled, a deep breath of relief tumbling out when she realized that.
“You taste so good,” Rachel said softly, tracing Santana’s bottom lip with her tongue. “Want to taste?”
“I’d rather taste you,” Santana said with a smirk, her breathing finally evening out as she pulled Rachel’s lip into her mouth.
Rachel smiled against the kiss. “Come and get it then,” she whispered, laying flat on her back and spreading her legs wide open.
Santana’s eyes widened, her heart nearly stopping at Rachel’s boldness. Oh, she was going to get it, all right.
“You’re fucking sexy, you know that?” Santana whispered, rolling over and brushing her lips just below Rachel’s ear.
“So I’ve been told,” Rachel said, sighing happily.
“Yeah?” Santana asked, trailing kisses down Rachel’s neck and across her collarbone as she skimmed her fingertips up and down her side. “By who?”
“You mean whom,” Rachel mumbled, jerking when Santana brought her hand to her breast.
“You’re making fun of my grammar?” Santana asked with a smirk as she rolled Rachel’s nipple between her fingers.
“I…I don’t know,” Rachel panted, her hips beginning to roll, ever so slightly.
“I think you are,” Santana whispered, pinching the nipple harshly as she moved to straddle her girlfriend’s waist.
“God,” Rachel groaned. “I’ll keep making fun of you if this is what I get for it.”
Santana chuckled, then brought her lips down to replace her fingers, her tongue tracing circles, painfully slow circles.
Rachel was so turned on that she could barely think. She felt the sweat beginning to seep up through her pores just as the wetness between her legs was pooling. She knew Santana wanted to take her time, that she felt safest when she was in control, but honestly, Rachel was about to crawl out of her skin. She dug her nails into Santana’s sides, tensing and flexing them with each movement of Santana’s mouth against her.
“S, I need…you to touch me,” Rachel said, licking her lips, which were suddenly bone dry.
Santana nodded, her entire body overcome with love for this girl, this girl that always gave herself so freely, that always understood so completely what to do, and what not to do, to make Santana feel safe.
She leaned forward, capturing Rachel in a kiss so gentle, so delicious that Rachel lost herself in it. The ache between her legs fell to the background as Santana’s lips slid against hers, as their tongues moved together slowly.
That was, at least, until Santana trailed her hand down Rachel’s abdomen and slipped two fingers inside of her.
Rachel’s broke the kiss with a groan, her fingers fisting in Santana’s hair as her eyes fluttering closed.
“Open your eyes,” Santana whispered, kissing her cheek. “I want you to watch.”
With great difficulty, Rachel complied, her pupils blown out as Santana moved inside of her slowly and deliberately.
“I love you so much,” Santana said, savoring the way Rachel’s breath hitched when she curled her fingers.
Santana rolled her hips, pushing her fingers in deeper as Rachel arched beneath her.
“You’re…killing me,” Rachel whimpered, her eyes locked with Santana’s, when she felt her girlfriend’s thumb on her clit.
“You saved me,” Santana said, panting as she moved against Rachel.
Rachel smiled, moving to cup the back of Santana’s neck with one hand, the other flexing on Santana’s hip, urging her on.
All of a sudden, Santana removed her fingers.
“What…what are…baby -”
“I told you,” Santana said with a smirk. “I want to taste you.”
Rachel’s eyes widened as Santana shimmied downward, trailing hot kisses down her abdomen. She wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to, but as Santana lifted her legs over her shoulders, the protest died in her mouth.
Santana didn’t waste any time; there were no lingering kisses to Rachel’s thighs, no cool air gently blown between Rachel’s legs, just a tongue sliding up and down, just lips wrapping and circling and sucking. Santana groaned as Rachel’s wetness coated her tongue; she tasted incredible. For Santana, Rachel was the stuff addictions were made of.
Rachel’s whole body tensed, a strangled cry escaping her lips as her feet dug into Santana’s back.
“Oh my god,” she whimpered, her hips beginning to roll feverishly under Santana’s mouth. “Jesus, God!”
Santana’s fingers were back inside of her just as quickly as they had disappeared moments before. Rachel let out a deep, guttural groan, her hands shaking as the grabbed the sheets next to her. She could feel herself getting close, so close, with every flick of Santana’s tongue, every painfully slow curl of her fingers.
“God, I love you,” Rachel cried, her hands flying to fist in Santana’s hair. “I love you so much.”
Santana grinned and began moving faster. She added another finger and gave several sharp bites to Rachel’s clit, groaning as Rachel’s hips jerked underneath her.
“So close,” Rachel whimpered as she let go of Santana’s hair with one hand to desperately reach for a pillow. “So fucking close.”
Santana wrapped her lips around Rachel’s clit and, with a few more thrusts, Rachel came, screaming into the pillow and riding Santana’s tongue through each aftershock.
“God,” Rachel breathed, as Santana kissed her way back up to Rachel’s lips. “Jesus Christ.”
“Santana will do just fine, thanks.”
“Noted,” Rachel said, laughing weakly.
“I love you too, you know,” Santana whispered, gently nipping Rachel’s earlobe.
“I know,” Rachel said, smiling as her breathing began to even out. “But you need to stop doing or we’ll wind up starting something that neither of us can finish.”
“Who says I can’t finish?”
“Santana, your eyes are already closing.”
“I’m not tired,” Santana said mid-yawn as she rolled over and wrapped her arm around Rachel’s waist.
“I know, baby,” Rachel said, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. “But let’s sleep. For me.”
“For you,” Santana mumbled, as she drifted off.
Rachel knew Santana slept best when she was completely exhausted and hoped to God that she had done her job well enough. As she felt her own eyes flutter shut, she snuggled into her girlfriend, praying that she found peace tonight.
Tomorrow, they’d hear the closing arguments.