(no subject)
Well, where the hell should I begin...
I'd like to think that I keep improving and getting better at a lot of stuff in life, but then every once in a while I feel like I get punched in the gut and I end up taking huge strides in the wrong direction. Sometimes I think I know what to do and others times I don't. And every now and then I know exactly what to do, but I don't do anything about it. Sure, this probably makes no sense, but I'm just fed up and frustrated with life, where it's going, and how I don't know what I want out of life right now.
Actually, that's a lie, I know exactly what I want, but I'm either not working towards it, or it's something I can't have. I also can't seem to no make mistakes and screw up when I do try to make some effort in making something mine, or striving to attain it. I just can't help it, I fuck up a lot because I question myself and question my ability to get where I want to go. I don't trust myself anymore and I don't believe in working towards things that I really want because I think I'll fuck it up.
I have goals I want and things I want to do, but I don't strive for them. I know one part of it is laziness and lacking energy to do anything, but I also know another part is fear to move forward and strive for things I want. I just have a lot of anxiety and I've been doing good on the depression part. A lot of it lately has been stemming from just a couple of things and my inability to cope with it, but that's just how it goes I guess.
I'd like to think that I keep improving and getting better at a lot of stuff in life, but then every once in a while I feel like I get punched in the gut and I end up taking huge strides in the wrong direction. Sometimes I think I know what to do and others times I don't. And every now and then I know exactly what to do, but I don't do anything about it. Sure, this probably makes no sense, but I'm just fed up and frustrated with life, where it's going, and how I don't know what I want out of life right now.
Actually, that's a lie, I know exactly what I want, but I'm either not working towards it, or it's something I can't have. I also can't seem to no make mistakes and screw up when I do try to make some effort in making something mine, or striving to attain it. I just can't help it, I fuck up a lot because I question myself and question my ability to get where I want to go. I don't trust myself anymore and I don't believe in working towards things that I really want because I think I'll fuck it up.
I have goals I want and things I want to do, but I don't strive for them. I know one part of it is laziness and lacking energy to do anything, but I also know another part is fear to move forward and strive for things I want. I just have a lot of anxiety and I've been doing good on the depression part. A lot of it lately has been stemming from just a couple of things and my inability to cope with it, but that's just how it goes I guess.