(no subject)
I have so many wishes and dreams to fulfill, but no drive to do any of them. It's not that I don't want them to happen, or that I don't want to do it. I just don't make myself do it. I watch TV rather than sit down and write, or I mess around on my computer rather than exercise. I'm a bit walking conundrum, or hypocrite, not that it's entirely bad, but I seriously just need to start busting my ass. It's not like writing for an hour a day would make me physically tired, mentally yes, but I kind of need that when going to bed.
What's the point in me planning out schedules and making plans or exercise routines if I'm not going to do them? If it's so important why don't I just get things done and over with. New story idea? Write a first draft. Want to get in shape? Do some push ups. I want to read? Sit down and open a book, turn the TV off and put some music on. I need to make my room a vestige of sleeping and working, not aimlessly standing/sitting around wondering why life seems to be passing me by. I did that for the last four years and barely got anything out of it. How can I expect to get in shape, or get a book written or do anything I want if I don't just do it? It's simple, want a result, do the work. Want to run for a mile and not be completely winded, start running. Want a book deal, start writing.
I wanted a job, so I applied to 100's of jobs. I wanted to go back to school, I applied to school. It's simple. Want my zombie blog to have daily posts and amass a following, start typing and start sharing. It's not hard, well it is, but the concept isn't hard. The hard part is for me to get out of my way and onto something that will make me productive. I've started taking the first steps for a lot of things, but I lack a lot on follow through. That's almost always been my problem. I have a lot of ambitiousness, and a lot of ideas. I don't have any drive or desire to follow through on projects. I just need to plug away, little by little. Then eventually, slowly I'll get back to where I used to be physically, mentally and emotionally. It's funny to think that at 16 I felt more together and ready for the world than when I do at 26. It's funny, and frustrating. That's life I guess.
I need to start doing this more... about everything. Just make this a mental dump and keep it silent about persons or places. That way no one will suspect anything unless they follow a link I gave them. Yep... Rant done.
P.S. - I'm gonna get her back, maybe not today, but when I'm all kick ass and being awesome. She'll be all like, "WHOOOOOOAAAA!!! What was I thinking?!" Or not...
What's the point in me planning out schedules and making plans or exercise routines if I'm not going to do them? If it's so important why don't I just get things done and over with. New story idea? Write a first draft. Want to get in shape? Do some push ups. I want to read? Sit down and open a book, turn the TV off and put some music on. I need to make my room a vestige of sleeping and working, not aimlessly standing/sitting around wondering why life seems to be passing me by. I did that for the last four years and barely got anything out of it. How can I expect to get in shape, or get a book written or do anything I want if I don't just do it? It's simple, want a result, do the work. Want to run for a mile and not be completely winded, start running. Want a book deal, start writing.
I wanted a job, so I applied to 100's of jobs. I wanted to go back to school, I applied to school. It's simple. Want my zombie blog to have daily posts and amass a following, start typing and start sharing. It's not hard, well it is, but the concept isn't hard. The hard part is for me to get out of my way and onto something that will make me productive. I've started taking the first steps for a lot of things, but I lack a lot on follow through. That's almost always been my problem. I have a lot of ambitiousness, and a lot of ideas. I don't have any drive or desire to follow through on projects. I just need to plug away, little by little. Then eventually, slowly I'll get back to where I used to be physically, mentally and emotionally. It's funny to think that at 16 I felt more together and ready for the world than when I do at 26. It's funny, and frustrating. That's life I guess.
I need to start doing this more... about everything. Just make this a mental dump and keep it silent about persons or places. That way no one will suspect anything unless they follow a link I gave them. Yep... Rant done.
P.S. - I'm gonna get her back, maybe not today, but when I'm all kick ass and being awesome. She'll be all like, "WHOOOOOOAAAA!!! What was I thinking?!" Or not...