wow, my recent entries have been long
so today was my first day escorting. what i do is first i have to wake up mad early to get there a 7:30 (though we, me and mitch, were the only ones there at 7:30, so maybe later next time). then we look for people who are coming into the clinic, and see if they'd like to be walked in. the reason being there are protesters, some of whom are very belligerent. it's an emotional support. if a patient was to see only protesters outside the clinic that would be mighty unsettling. and i'm sure a girl who's about to get an abortion doesn't need that at all.
so basically, here are my impressions
-i was half expecting to see t-foote there, and was sorta disappointed that i didn't. haha, i'm more dedicated to my cause than he is, he's so not hardcore as he makes himself seem.
-the protesters weren't as bad as i thought they would be. the vast majority of them stood in this closed off area praying and singing, doing hail marys etc. a couple times i found myself mouthing the lords prayer with them. my impression is that they're there not to intimidate the woman so much as to pray for the life which is about to be ended. so whatever, they're within their rights and though it's unsettling, it's not like they're attacking the girl
-there was this guy from this organization "rock for life" he had blue hair and a t-shirt of a fetus playing the guitar. i thought that was very clever, seeing as most people view pro-lifers as being old catholic guys. and he didn't bother anyone either.
-however this one protester, cheryl, was awful. horrible. she would basically stalk people going into the clinic and scream at them "don't kill your baby, you're a mother now, love doesn't kill." and even though she's tiny she's LOUD. you can here her screaming from within the clinic. what baffles me is that why she does it. it obviously doesn't help anyone. so either she's just a bitch or if she actually think she's helping, she's a little crazy. there were a couple other bad ones, but she was by far the worst.
-to be an escort you can't be confrontational, cause you're there for the woman, not to pick fights with the protesters. i thought at first that would be hard, but it wasn't. some old guy in a suit told me that i was only hurting women and i almost laughed, but didn't because i didn't want to give him any reaction. But cheryl...she made some poor girl cry. and i was enraged. i had the urge to punch her, shake her, scream why the fuck would you ever do that you stupid bitch. i can't remember the last time i was that furious, honestly.
-cheryl was harassing a women i was escorting, saying that she could help her. this women was pissed of and yelled back at her "what are you gonna do, pay for the diapers? help me finish my college education" very good point.
-scariness: people taking pictures. cheryl took a picture of me and there was like this ten year old girl with her dad taking pictures. i know that they're within their rights, but they shouldn't be. it conflicts with patients privacy. there should be some law, unliscensed photographers shouldn't be allowed to take pictures within a certain radius of a hospital or clinic
-funniness: this one woman walked into the clinic, so of course some people started shouting not to do it blah blah blah. she goes "i have a freaking bladder infection!" it was hilarious, very much a foot in the mouth type thing.
-last thing. only a couple hours after i was done did it really sink in. these women were having abortions. they were having an operation where their vagina is intruded and a life growing inside them is killed. i talk about abortion all the time, and i suppose because of that the significance of it lost meaning. and it makes me think of how horrible abortion is, yet simultaneously how important it is that the choice be there. after all this talk, i'm putting my money where my mouth is and i want to continue to do that.
phew, ok moving on. sometimes i have this horrible feeling and it's not quite like i want to die, but i just don't want to exist. the pain is too much. i want valium, something to make me not feel. and i felt like that today, due to the usual suspect. but i'm through. i can only go so far. last year in pga i took this personality quiz. it said that i was a very loyal friend unless i truly felt that i had been betrayed and in that case i don't think twice of severring the relationship. and it's true. i've done it before, and i can do it now. the most disgusting part is that i know none of this would have happened if he still needed my parking space.
in conclusion, i love bethany. we really have been friends for forever. we can go months without really talking, and then hang out and everything's cool. why can't every friendship be like that? out of all of my friends, she's one of the only people i feel i can really call and confide in if i need to.
ok, i need to eat, this is getting ridiculous
so basically, here are my impressions
-i was half expecting to see t-foote there, and was sorta disappointed that i didn't. haha, i'm more dedicated to my cause than he is, he's so not hardcore as he makes himself seem.
-the protesters weren't as bad as i thought they would be. the vast majority of them stood in this closed off area praying and singing, doing hail marys etc. a couple times i found myself mouthing the lords prayer with them. my impression is that they're there not to intimidate the woman so much as to pray for the life which is about to be ended. so whatever, they're within their rights and though it's unsettling, it's not like they're attacking the girl
-there was this guy from this organization "rock for life" he had blue hair and a t-shirt of a fetus playing the guitar. i thought that was very clever, seeing as most people view pro-lifers as being old catholic guys. and he didn't bother anyone either.
-however this one protester, cheryl, was awful. horrible. she would basically stalk people going into the clinic and scream at them "don't kill your baby, you're a mother now, love doesn't kill." and even though she's tiny she's LOUD. you can here her screaming from within the clinic. what baffles me is that why she does it. it obviously doesn't help anyone. so either she's just a bitch or if she actually think she's helping, she's a little crazy. there were a couple other bad ones, but she was by far the worst.
-to be an escort you can't be confrontational, cause you're there for the woman, not to pick fights with the protesters. i thought at first that would be hard, but it wasn't. some old guy in a suit told me that i was only hurting women and i almost laughed, but didn't because i didn't want to give him any reaction. But cheryl...she made some poor girl cry. and i was enraged. i had the urge to punch her, shake her, scream why the fuck would you ever do that you stupid bitch. i can't remember the last time i was that furious, honestly.
-cheryl was harassing a women i was escorting, saying that she could help her. this women was pissed of and yelled back at her "what are you gonna do, pay for the diapers? help me finish my college education" very good point.
-scariness: people taking pictures. cheryl took a picture of me and there was like this ten year old girl with her dad taking pictures. i know that they're within their rights, but they shouldn't be. it conflicts with patients privacy. there should be some law, unliscensed photographers shouldn't be allowed to take pictures within a certain radius of a hospital or clinic
-funniness: this one woman walked into the clinic, so of course some people started shouting not to do it blah blah blah. she goes "i have a freaking bladder infection!" it was hilarious, very much a foot in the mouth type thing.
-last thing. only a couple hours after i was done did it really sink in. these women were having abortions. they were having an operation where their vagina is intruded and a life growing inside them is killed. i talk about abortion all the time, and i suppose because of that the significance of it lost meaning. and it makes me think of how horrible abortion is, yet simultaneously how important it is that the choice be there. after all this talk, i'm putting my money where my mouth is and i want to continue to do that.
phew, ok moving on. sometimes i have this horrible feeling and it's not quite like i want to die, but i just don't want to exist. the pain is too much. i want valium, something to make me not feel. and i felt like that today, due to the usual suspect. but i'm through. i can only go so far. last year in pga i took this personality quiz. it said that i was a very loyal friend unless i truly felt that i had been betrayed and in that case i don't think twice of severring the relationship. and it's true. i've done it before, and i can do it now. the most disgusting part is that i know none of this would have happened if he still needed my parking space.
in conclusion, i love bethany. we really have been friends for forever. we can go months without really talking, and then hang out and everything's cool. why can't every friendship be like that? out of all of my friends, she's one of the only people i feel i can really call and confide in if i need to.
ok, i need to eat, this is getting ridiculous