hummm
well latly i dont really know what i have been feeling. i mean i kow i havn't been feeling exactly good. Ryan helped to make my 16th birthday absolutly amazing, even if it didn't turn out the way he planned. Friday however was by far one of the worst days of my life. It probably hurt more than anything ever has emotionally. My dad basically said hey your old enbough to date but hey you CAN"T date ryan. and i mean that sux it sux more than anything. I guess i have to accept that but its just not something i want to . Its really hard and it hurst and it hurts him and both of us. So we decided hey how long is it going to take. Do we think that this relationship is worth it? and yes it is so we are waiting. Ryan is an extremly important person in my life, i dont want to lose him and i'll try as hard as i can to accomplish that goal. Its what Craig said that i was really thinking about. He said if you guys are really serious about each other and you really like each other in the end its going to be worth the wait. I think hes right. I think that we will be stronger people because of this stronger couple and stronger individuals. I dont get it, i dont want to accept it but its reality and sometimes reality sux this is just one of these times. But hey through all of this god's working im not sure what his plan is at this point, but i know that no matter what if in a year Ryans not there God still will be, and thats love !