(no subject)
God i don't know why I write in this journal anymore, no one reads and all I do is bitch but I guess its therapeutic. I'm really upset right now, I'm not going to go in to details cause this is too personal (if you want to know you can always call), but I got to find a way to not feel this way its killing me. Drugs and alcohol don't even really work anymore, in fact I've only smoked once since and I hated it, I'm sick of using that shit to cover up feelings. I'm not saying that I'll never do them again, but probably most likely only once and a while with friends.... . I havent even had the desire to smoke, all i can think about is her...can someone plz tell me, maybe a girl, cause I don't fucking understand, y if 2 people who love each other have a problem y the best thing to do is to break up or take a break. It doesn't make any fucking sense. I know most of you don't believe in God, but I can't deny that a lot of fucked up shit is happening recently: lacey, parents, school and it makes me think maybe he teaching me something. I want her fucking back, I want to fucking call, I want her to fucking hurt right now just as much as I am, I want her not to lie about how she feels anymore, I want her to miss me, I want her to not sleep at night, I be want her to know that no matter what know that I'm here waiting, and most of all I want to find some way to be good enough for her. I don't care people say that I'm taking this like a bitch and that she needs to come to me.... but I can't handle being without and I'm willing to be a bitch for her. /end rant You may all now reply with your "oh sorry toms it will get better" fuck that