no no no no no!!! I don't want to be awake!!
I haven't updated in a bit so I thought I would now. I've been spending more time at MySpace. They were right; it does suck your online time. Oh well. Who's complaining. So the only reason I am up right now is because Maggie keeps waking up crying and calling for 'Dadny' and 'Momma' and when I try to calm her down she looks over and sees Hannah sleeping on the floor by my bed and the two dogs. Now Maggie has always been one for a schedule...routine in her thing. So for her to be weireded out that her parents are gone is normal. But to make it worse, she sees weird, well unfamiliar, things in her room at night and it is bound to keep her awake. Hannah doesn't like to sleep alone. She shares a room with Canaan...but Gosh! She's slept on the couch countless times for some reason or another and she's had to go to sleep by herself when Canaan wasn't ready for bed yet or was at a sleepover. I don't see the difference now. My attitude and happiness tomorrow, today, hinges on how much sleep I get tonight. And Maggie is still up! She's not sad now, she's up and wanting to have fun. I understand Maggie being unreasonable but Hannah has no excuse. She's freakin 14 years old and she can sleep in her room that is right next to mine without freaking out. The doors of the house are locked, I have some lights on and the TV is on low in the living room. I just don't get it. I am SOOOOO tired right now. But now I can't sleep. And I didn't even have a coffee like Whitney. :-) I feel like crying. I don't want to be the mom. I want someone else to take care of this. And Hannah is like not happy at me or something. I mean, come on! It's freakin 3 in the morning and she is like silently complaining that she has to get out of my room. It's not like I'm not already up and have been. I've been trying to get Maggie to go back to sleep for like an hour and Hannah's just been sleeping...until her dog starts making noice and then she just says "Biscuit!" and then falls back asleep. sigh. sigh. yawn. grrr. I want my Mommy. This just sounds so pathetic but good grief it's 3 in the bloody morning and I don't want to be awake. And I have to be the adult here in this and all situtations for the next 13 days. God Help Me! I know I can handle this, it's just hard and I don't like it. I'm like always on call and that feels awful. I just want to sleep. That's it, right now. I just want to sleep. But no. sigh. I'm gonna go see what I can do with her now. Someone pray for me, please.
~Jordan~
~Jordan~