Random Thoughts
So, I was just reading a story by
dotfic called 'Hide Too Well Away' when I suddenly had a thought (or two). Now, I'm not going to give anything away about the story (and I have actually not gotten too far in it yet) but the mere mention of Sam looking forward to college - specifically the line: "Being in the same place for four years sounded so solid and safe and normal." - started my mind working.
Sam, who could not possibly remember his mother or home or a life before hunting - the basics for solid, safe, and normal - desires this above all else (pre-series, anyway). He wants what he feels every other kid has: innocence and stability. Of course college sounds like a sort of Eden to him! Not only does the kid enjoy school (after all, it is as normal as childhood can get), college would give him freedom from moving from place to place, from hunting, from the abnormality that is the Winchester life.
Dean, on the other hand, does remember his mother and home and a life before hunting. He had the picture-perfect life: Mommy and Daddy who loved him and each other, and a new baby brother to play with and teach the secrets of life to. He had innocence and stability... and then it was gone in the blink of an eye.
Suddenly, Dean lost his mother and (essentially) his father, learned that monsters existed, and was no longer able to be a child. And all at the tender age of four - where he could not possibly understand or comprehend all of what was happening.
So, where am I going with all of this? It was
dotfic 's line about four years in one place that finally made something clear to me. Sam sees it as solid, safe, and normal, but Dean must see it as a danger - not only from supernatural beings or social services, etc - but a danger of building a happy life only to have it destroyed. He had four years in one place (his family home) and it ended in his mother's death, his father's downward spiral, his own loss of innocence...
How much of a mess do you think he was inside when he rushed in to Sam's apartment, saw the fire, saw Jess on the ceiling, saved his little brother? Sam, even after never really having the innocence (the not-knowing of the supernatural) still went through an almost identical event as John. In season 2, we see that there is a part of Dean that would like a normal life, but I think there will always be a part of him that will flee from normal before there is the chance that it will be ripped away.
Thoughts? Comments?
(hey, did I just write a spontaneous meta?!)
dotfic called 'Hide Too Well Away' when I suddenly had a thought (or two). Now, I'm not going to give anything away about the story (and I have actually not gotten too far in it yet) but the mere mention of Sam looking forward to college - specifically the line: "Being in the same place for four years sounded so solid and safe and normal." - started my mind working.
Sam, who could not possibly remember his mother or home or a life before hunting - the basics for solid, safe, and normal - desires this above all else (pre-series, anyway). He wants what he feels every other kid has: innocence and stability. Of course college sounds like a sort of Eden to him! Not only does the kid enjoy school (after all, it is as normal as childhood can get), college would give him freedom from moving from place to place, from hunting, from the abnormality that is the Winchester life.
Dean, on the other hand, does remember his mother and home and a life before hunting. He had the picture-perfect life: Mommy and Daddy who loved him and each other, and a new baby brother to play with and teach the secrets of life to. He had innocence and stability... and then it was gone in the blink of an eye.
Suddenly, Dean lost his mother and (essentially) his father, learned that monsters existed, and was no longer able to be a child. And all at the tender age of four - where he could not possibly understand or comprehend all of what was happening.
So, where am I going with all of this? It was
dotfic 's line about four years in one place that finally made something clear to me. Sam sees it as solid, safe, and normal, but Dean must see it as a danger - not only from supernatural beings or social services, etc - but a danger of building a happy life only to have it destroyed. He had four years in one place (his family home) and it ended in his mother's death, his father's downward spiral, his own loss of innocence...
How much of a mess do you think he was inside when he rushed in to Sam's apartment, saw the fire, saw Jess on the ceiling, saved his little brother? Sam, even after never really having the innocence (the not-knowing of the supernatural) still went through an almost identical event as John. In season 2, we see that there is a part of Dean that would like a normal life, but I think there will always be a part of him that will flee from normal before there is the chance that it will be ripped away.
Thoughts? Comments?
(hey, did I just write a spontaneous meta?!)