Abel...
so today is it. the baby's due date. how do i feel? don't even ask. you won't understand. it's like someone is pulling every little hair off my body with tweezers, one at a time. and like someone is filling my intestines with concrete. its really hard to describe. all i know is my eyes are welling up with tears. i wish it wasn't this hard. and i wish people would stop saying it's better this way. because it isn't. better would be me having a baby to sacrifice my life and lifestyle for. even if jack isn't here for me. he would have been there for his son. i know that damn well. he would have done whatever possible in his life to take care of that baby. but at the same time, he would have stayed with me for the baby. and that's the only reason i am ok with it. because i wouldn't want him to do that. it's not fair to me or to Abel. or himself.