Oh, bugger, did I set the alarm on this again? ... what was it an alarm to? I thought that flan was done. No, I'm sure it was.. and that wouldn't make the locator lock on a temporal coordinate
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OH-MEGA! HulllloOOOo! Who'da thought I thought you were worth telling your lives were about to be over. Fancy that. Maybe I like you. Do I like you? I forget. Regardless, 12-7! Always fun. Well, if 'fun' means 'destructive and fatal and really bad with jam', but that's neither here nor there. Did I call this little tea party? I thought I was cooking a flan.
Funny, though.. flan doesn't usually come with missing planets and.. a very pissed off looking cyberman floating by my window. Missing one of those?
Anyway, did I miss anything smashing? Is the Other here too? He was always.. other-y. You know. Like that. Right.
There's some Other or other about the place and NO that is not my sodding Cyberman and didn't you just make the Other up for someone to blame when you did stuff? Like killed off your political enemies and farted in the council chambers. "That weren't my ass-gass, nup, that was the Other!"
...you used to get so mad when I'd go DUN DUN DUN every time you said "the Other." And apparently the wanker exists, who knew?
I still know you farted.
Apparently what's smashing is all of time and space. About to collapse in on itself. Bothersome. You didn't do that did you?
What are you, mad? Of course the Other exists! If he were me, I would have called him 'The Same' or something like that. Wouldn't do to go about naming people misleadingly. Look at the Doctor. No Doctorate, there.. and a bit of a ponce.
...yes, yes I did because he didn't think it was funny and would COMPLAIN to me about it. You really oughta be nicer to the bloke, I think he was alright. Taught me to fly, or something. I believe I remember liking him enough.
Yes, well, humanoid bodies are terribly biological. You really should get used to that. Then again it's hard to fart when your head is that far up your ass. Bit blocked.
Oh, right! 12-7 is premature universe death! I remember this now.. wrote the book on that, I did. Bothersome indeed, and why would I have done it? I'm kind of using the universe at the moment.. would at least wait until I was done with it to chuck it in a bin.
It's not annoying! It's shiny. And.. it only beeps when the universe is ending, and really, I think that is a beepworthy occasion. There's a mute button, too- blue, on the side. Does well when the universe happens to end during your funeral, or a telly program or something. Why did we never have telly? Smashing invention that.
I don't happen to like kissing my arse, so I wouldn't be worried about passing My gas, now would I? I should try to remember to have the decency not to do so while others are in such a position though. Manners, and all that.
I shouldn't have had to bloody introduce you, you git! He helped you work on the TARDIS manual? Or did you forget that that less-intelligent-than-you bloke couldn't have possibly been me? Really.
Clearly he made no impression. Either that or I scrubbed my mind of him. Who knows.
Anyway. Let's figure out who's behind this. So we can all get back to what we were doing. I was knitting and governing Gallifrey as it needed to be, and you were banished.
Oh, do you have any more of that mind-scrubby stuff? I've had this song in there for a decade, and I can't get it out. Something about sunshine and masters of time and space.. *hums 'Kashmir' into the comm mic*
Right! Over and done with.. aw, does it have to be? Banishment is lonely and I'm running out of supplies for my plan to rectify that, anyway. Besides, a bit of excitement never hurt anyone! 'Cept for, well, apparently that cyberman. He's a bit angry, and I think he knows this is a TARDIS. Well, can't say there are many vans out in deep space, but still. Might need to take care of that. Perhaps after the flan.
Yes, after the flan, and the Cyberman, I'll help you finish all this. Or, I'll go back to watching telly. It's hard to tell, sometimes, with myself.
You? Command me? Really, love, only reason that ever worked was because the Council was on your side. Well, that and I *did* eat a vegetable with my dinner. Terribly offensive, that.
...This universe? You mean this isn't the universe? What are we doing saving it, then? Much more amusing to watch it fold in like a bad souflee. Always could just pop home after curfew, if you know what I mean.
And that'll be a bit of a problem, seeing as I still haven't taken the time to got the parts to fix the TARDIS to let me pick a destination. And I'm not about to have you sending me off random destinations again. I think I remember that ending badly.
I'm almost certain it did, because I don't remember it.
Well, don't that just bugger all.
Can't you stay banished, you sodding great pain in my arse?
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Funny, though.. flan doesn't usually come with missing planets and.. a very pissed off looking cyberman floating by my window. Missing one of those?
Anyway, did I miss anything smashing? Is the Other here too? He was always.. other-y. You know. Like that. Right.
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...you used to get so mad when I'd go DUN DUN DUN every time you said "the Other." And apparently the wanker exists, who knew?
I still know you farted.
Apparently what's smashing is all of time and space. About to collapse in on itself. Bothersome. You didn't do that did you?
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...yes, yes I did because he didn't think it was funny and would COMPLAIN to me about it. You really oughta be nicer to the bloke, I think he was alright. Taught me to fly, or something. I believe I remember liking him enough.
Yes, well, humanoid bodies are terribly biological. You really should get used to that. Then again it's hard to fart when your head is that far up your ass. Bit blocked.
Oh, right! 12-7 is premature universe death! I remember this now.. wrote the book on that, I did. Bothersome indeed, and why would I have done it? I'm kind of using the universe at the moment.. would at least wait until I was done with it to chuck it in a bin.
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By the by, word of advice: while in that position, you might want to avoid passing the Gas of Rassilon. Just a thought.
Here's another thought: it ever occur to you to introduce us? Maybe then I would have believed he existed.
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I don't happen to like kissing my arse, so I wouldn't be worried about passing My gas, now would I? I should try to remember to have the decency not to do so while others are in such a position though. Manners, and all that.
I shouldn't have had to bloody introduce you, you git! He helped you work on the TARDIS manual? Or did you forget that that less-intelligent-than-you bloke couldn't have possibly been me? Really.
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Anyway. Let's figure out who's behind this. So we can all get back to what we were doing. I was knitting and governing Gallifrey as it needed to be, and you were banished.
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Right! Over and done with.. aw, does it have to be? Banishment is lonely and I'm running out of supplies for my plan to rectify that, anyway. Besides, a bit of excitement never hurt anyone! 'Cept for, well, apparently that cyberman. He's a bit angry, and I think he knows this is a TARDIS. Well, can't say there are many vans out in deep space, but still. Might need to take care of that. Perhaps after the flan.
Yes, after the flan, and the Cyberman, I'll help you finish all this. Or, I'll go back to watching telly. It's hard to tell, sometimes, with myself.
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We're on this universe's Earth. Place called San Francisco, 2006 by their reckoning. I'll transmit co-ordinates. Do let me know when you arrive.
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...This universe? You mean this isn't the universe? What are we doing saving it, then? Much more amusing to watch it fold in like a bad souflee. Always could just pop home after curfew, if you know what I mean.
And that'll be a bit of a problem, seeing as I still haven't taken the time to got the parts to fix the TARDIS to let me pick a destination. And I'm not about to have you sending me off random destinations again. I think I remember that ending badly.
I'm almost certain it did, because I don't remember it.
Reply
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