Aftermath...
It's been just over a month since the break in and in its aftermath is the awareness that life will never be quite the same again - but that is not necessarily a bad thing.
Since last fall, when my daughter decided she wanted to be done with wayward proceedings, counselors, anger, rebellion and illegal drugs, we had been gradually repairing our fractured relationship. It was slow at first, but with her head finally clear and her eyes open again, it didn't take her long to realize she did not have as much in common with her friends as she thought. In the few months prior to the "invasion" we had become comfortable with one another, in it's aftermath we have grown close again.
Not so for my son. He is still living at his father's and I don't suspect he will return home before he leaves for college at the end of the summer. Battling the intruders alone in the dark, thinking he had been stabbed and might be bleeding to death had an impact much greater than the one that caused the scar on the top of his head. He could probably use some counseling but he does not want to talk about it and I can't force him. He is 18 now and while I will always be available to provide advice and offer support, there are some decisions that are now his to make. The fact that he has pulled in and turned away makes me a little sad, but considering that he has never been good with transitions, the violent wrenching from familiar patterns may have provided needed separation. And he does seem to be spending more time with his friends so perhaps living with his father, who is rarely home, and looking to friends for support will be a good segue into college life come September.
Personally, I now have a greater appreciation for many of my friends. I was surprised by some of those who stepped forward - and by some who did not. I know everyone has stuff going on in their lives and with what I've gone through for the last few years, I have not always been a good friend myself so I harbor no feelings of resentment for the latter but I was touched by those who offered to stay with me if I needed them, those who extended invitations to outings or included me in their plans so I wouldn't be alone and those who texted and/or messaged me regularly for days so I would feel connected. I appreciate every person who reached out to express concern but it is those who did a little extra to show it that I will remember to hold most dear.
Since last fall, when my daughter decided she wanted to be done with wayward proceedings, counselors, anger, rebellion and illegal drugs, we had been gradually repairing our fractured relationship. It was slow at first, but with her head finally clear and her eyes open again, it didn't take her long to realize she did not have as much in common with her friends as she thought. In the few months prior to the "invasion" we had become comfortable with one another, in it's aftermath we have grown close again.
Not so for my son. He is still living at his father's and I don't suspect he will return home before he leaves for college at the end of the summer. Battling the intruders alone in the dark, thinking he had been stabbed and might be bleeding to death had an impact much greater than the one that caused the scar on the top of his head. He could probably use some counseling but he does not want to talk about it and I can't force him. He is 18 now and while I will always be available to provide advice and offer support, there are some decisions that are now his to make. The fact that he has pulled in and turned away makes me a little sad, but considering that he has never been good with transitions, the violent wrenching from familiar patterns may have provided needed separation. And he does seem to be spending more time with his friends so perhaps living with his father, who is rarely home, and looking to friends for support will be a good segue into college life come September.
Personally, I now have a greater appreciation for many of my friends. I was surprised by some of those who stepped forward - and by some who did not. I know everyone has stuff going on in their lives and with what I've gone through for the last few years, I have not always been a good friend myself so I harbor no feelings of resentment for the latter but I was touched by those who offered to stay with me if I needed them, those who extended invitations to outings or included me in their plans so I wouldn't be alone and those who texted and/or messaged me regularly for days so I would feel connected. I appreciate every person who reached out to express concern but it is those who did a little extra to show it that I will remember to hold most dear.