The cookie-jar incident 03/03
Title: The cookie-jar incident
Part: III. The hidden contraption maneuver
Author: reitassugarlump
Pairing: ./. just Kai.
Rating: harmless
Warnings: no beta. sorry. T_T
Disclaimer: who would have guessed, right? I don't own them. Just my lively fantasy.
Notes: Apologies for taking so long. I hope you like it!
Chapters: Part 01 Part 02
Synopsis: Someone was stealing from Kai's personal secret stash of cookies. Which is high treason! So while the drummer tries to combat hypoglycaemia and at the same time device a plan to catch the thief in the act, the others have to watch their friend slowly go mental...
The trap is laid!
III.
But before Kai would get a chance to bake the next morning, they all had to pack up and head for the studio for another recording. During break (which Kai prolonged by half an hour for everbody’s sake) he strolled across the street into a convivi store. While determinately walking along the isle in search for all the prime ingredients which he would need he also dropped a couple of sweets into his basket, so his colleagues would stop the arguing, the threatening and the stomping. There was a moment this morning when Kai thought they would have to bail Ruki out of jail because he seriously looked like bashing someones head in with his mic-stand. Fortunately, or unfortunately (depends on the point of view) he discovered he could do more harm by innocently getting the everybody entangled in the cord. Aoi was the one who got tangled up first. His feed were caught in the wire and he hell toward Uruha and both crashed to the floor. Aoi who had not recovered from the fall he suffered yesterday, was more than willing to give the Vocalist a proper beating but after some anger management by Uruha had gone for colourful swearing that made even Reita’s ears turn pink. Kai sighed. It was such a mess and he was to preoccupied by his detective work and personal revenge plan that he could not concentrate on getting everybody back on track.
He grabbed flour, sugar, cacao, high priced dark chocolate with ginger, eggs, rich cream milk and butter. He briefly considered caramel sauce, marshmallows, white chocolate and sweet plums but decided to stick to the original plan of making simple double chocolate cookies. While walking towards the cashier he passed the pharmaceuticals. He came to a sudden stop. A woman walked past him, shaking her head in disapproval “Don’t stand in the way like that!” But Kai never heard her. A plan was forming in the drummers sugar depleted mind. It was a scheme which would also make him eligible as nominee for the position of “world’s evil mastermind”. His thoughts were already racing: Maybe I could…? But I shouldn’t! Yet if I think about it like this…On the other hand what if…? Who would know? But I really ought not to…No one would have to know… I would know! Anyhow I might finally unmask the thief! This final argument tipped the scale. So he added a bottle of perfectly innocent looking pills to his cart. While he finished his shopping and returned to the studio he aimed for an inconspicuous stroll.
Once back at the company, he headed for the studio only to encounter the following scene in an dimly lit side corridor. Aoi had pushed Uruha up against the far wall and looked threateningly determined. Their faces were so close, it seemed the dark haired guitarist was ready to throttle the blonde at any moment. Kai felt like, he was observing a robbery in a shabby alley in one of the less glamorous parts of town. He tensed. He seriously needed to get his colleagues into anger management. With Aoi still furious from the situation earlier, Kai dared not imagine what kind of trivial tittle-tattle on Uruha’s part had driven the dark haired musician to go berserk in an empty corridor.
“Oy! You two! Cut it out!” He walked over and got a hold of Aoi’s ear and pulled him off of Uruha.
“AHH~”
“How about you take a walk? There is some time left before we resume recording- go cool down!”
“Kai…”
“I don’t even want to hear what happened. Get out before I lose my patience!” He let go of Aoi’s ear and pointed towards the exit. “Out! now!”
The disgruntled guitarist left, still rubbing his ear.
Kai sighed. Really, the longer this whole cookie enigma took the more his band’s well being was at stake. He patted Uruha on the shoulder “ ’You alright? Seriously why did you have to provoke him? Aren’t we having enough hard times as it is?”
The blonde looked up “I didn’t…”
“Whatever. I brought some snacks. If we finish in time today I’ll make cookies tonight. That should be a reward everybody looks forward to, right? Maybe I can even persuade you to perform at least once without an interruption.”
He turned on his heels and walked back to the studio, leaving the Uruha behind who remained standing in the corridor somewhat at a loss of what to do with himself. Unfortunately once Kai opened the door to the recording studio he had to face an even more heated scene. Ruki had finally decided to go physical and was currently fencing off Reita with his music stand. The sheet music was flying around everywhere and sailing across the room. The drummer groaned, while the bassist was trying to advance on the vocalist, to find a flaw in Ruki’s defense. Kai massaged his temples.
“What is this? National Idiot day? Give me strength!” a little louder he said “Will you stop it already!”
He grabbed the threateningly swinging music stand from Ruki.
“What did you all do, wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a man's life?” Sweet lord… you are the nails in my coffin… No don’t you dare!”
Reita had inched passed Kai towards Ruki but Kai quickly intersected his path and hooked a finger in the blondes shirt to stop him.
“Can’t I leave you all alone for even half an hour?”
Ruki pointed at Reita with an expression of utter disbelieve plastered across his usually handsome features. A second later it was replaced by raging fury.
“The bastard, he…!”
“Hold it right there. I really don’t care who started this. I am ending it right now! I won’t hear another word. You are adults, settle your disputes like grown ups. I don’t want to see anymore of the shouting and the.. the.. attacking. Seriously what is it with the physical altercations today?” He continued to repeat his baking proposal and the atmosphere brightened considerably.
Seemingly the prospect of receiving some of Kai’s treats was enough to get everybody to concentrate. Though Uruha kept looking at Aoi and avoiding the other guitarist as though afraid of being punched at any moment, luckily nothing happened. Everybody was relieved when the clock struck 7 pm and they had finished the day’s work. Most astonishingly, they had actually made some progress for a change.
“Well done, everybody! Thanks for working so hard!” It was a compliment he hadn’t paid them in a while so naturally all members were grateful. Even Uruha smiled despite the penetrating stares he received from Aoi. Kai shot them a glance that could be interpreted along the lines of I don’t care what is going on, but I want this resolved by tomorrow!
“Let’s wrap it up and go home!”
Indeed, when Kai came out from the shower he didn’t even bother to dry his hair properly. He just tied the wet strands up into a tiny, sloppy ponytail and got to work in the kitchen. Within minutes his black apron was covered in thin layer white flour dust. The feeling of soft dough between his fingers and the skilled and routinised moves of his slender fingers kneading it made him relaxed and as happy as he hasn’t been in a while. Reita had given Kai a mixer and dough hooks for his birthday, but the drummer never used them. At least not for pastry making. He enjoyed the craftsmanship of preparing the cookie dough. There was something about the velvety feel of the dough that just made him smile. His friends once asked him how he managed to keep the dough from taking on a sticky consistency, but he had only remarked upon the right ratio of ingredients and love for the dough. Respect the dough!
While the others took their turns in the bathroom or were otherwise preoccupied Kai pulled the wee bottle of pills from his pocket and stared at it. Now I will catch the little bugger! With grim determination he unscrewed the lid and cast aside his doubts. A handful of pills rolled across the counter before Kai gathered them up and ground them into a fine powder. Hastily he mixed it with a part of the dough which he had set aside, before his conscience could sway his decision. By the time he had added cacao and chocolate sprinkles the size of chunks everybody had joined him in the kitchen.
“Are they done yet?” asked Ruki.
“How old are you? Like 5 years old?” Uruha teased him. He mimicked a child’s voice “Mommy are we there yet? Are the cookies done yet? Can I have an ice cream?”
Ruki’s eyes narrowed to slits.
“Don’t you start again!” The drummer knocked their heads together. This left the two squabblers with a head ache as well some flour in the hair.
“The dough has to settle a little. I am hungry and since you all did a good job today I’ll treat you for supper. Once we get back I’ll put the cookies in the oven.” This declaration was met with general enthusiasm.
“I know just the place!” Reita said beaming “There is this new restaurant just down the road! It opened last week. I walk past it all the time and am really curious.”
They returned late, but exhilarated. Everybody slumped onto the sofas in the living room. In the meantime Kai proceeded to form small cookie shaped disks of dough and pushed to full sets of them into the oven. Soon after, the smell of cookies wavered through the flat.
Once the timer rang, Kai raced into the kitchen to set aside some cookies for himself and to refill his cookie jar. He had hardly stacked away the cookies and retrieved the second griddle of still hot treats from the oven when his friends approached him. The look of pure ravenousness on their faces frightened the drummer to the core. He retreated slowly until his back was pushed against the counter. They had him cornered in an instant. He looked rather like a deer, circled by a starving pack of hyenas. And indeed right now, all four of them seemed to match the description of a chocolate craving cookie thief. “Easy boys…!”
Within minutes there were only crumbs left. Kai had not even had a single one of the biscuits for himself. He couldn’t believe it. So much effort and I did not even have a single bite. You got to be kidding me! What the hell did just happen? Where did the cookies go? Where are my cookies? I’ve been robbed again! Before my very eyes! Disappeared. Vanished inside these voracious vultures. He felt his anger rise, when he looked at their content faces. It only added to his rage, that there was a whole bunch of cookies in his room which he could not touch, due to them being…well…spiked. Currently Aoi was licking off his fingers and picking up the crumbs with his wet fingertips. Uruha started coughing wildly and turned away hurriedly while Reita was clapping his back. Kai’s eyes narrowed to slits. Serves you right! To eat so fast that crumbs got down your windpipe! Ruki lifted his head, the look on his face reflected utter satisfaction, and asked seductively
“Kai, what happened to that second griddle of cookies?” His voice was slightly slurred from drinking too much beer at the restaurant. “I know there was more!”
Kai raised an eyebrow “Oh? Is that so? It’s a shame. They were burnt. No good at all.” he answered nonchalantly. This lie was just obvious enough for his friends to see through it if they wanted to. And it was exactly was Kai was counting on. So the thief would come out of hiding and go looking for the cookies. If he hadn’t been so mad at this moment because of the fact the he still had had no cookies he would have been more eager to see his plan unfold. As it was, he was terribly angry. His wrath was limitless. And finally he could no longer contain it.
“I break up your fights, I treat you for supper, I make you cookies…” he started advancing on his friends. “…and still you show no regard! Did any of you notice that I did not get so much as a bite of my own cookies?!” He raised the griddle he was still holding with his oven gloved hands.
In his frustration he didn’t know who to attack first and eventually lost all his fire. He slammed the door shut and went to bed with the nagging desire to simply eat the contaminated cookies. Ruki, Reita, Aoi and Uruha had the decency to fell ashamed.
Ah well what do you know? The next morning Kai found his cookie jar emptied. A nasty smile crept onto his face. What goes around comes around. Kai had succeeded to play them at their own game. Now all he had to do was wait.
He went into the kitchen, where he found Aoi patting a very ill-looking Ruki. The drummer was surprised. Should he have found his culprit so fast? He was almost disappointed. The guitarist looked up at him. “Ohayou~ Did we wake you up? Sorry… Ruki is somewhat... restless this morning and woke me up, because he made a hell of a ruckus when he fell of the table. Did you hear it, too?”
Kai’s brows furrowed. “fallen off… the table” He had to chew over this for some time before the information settled. “I don’t know where to start asking. Why did he fall off the table? … And come to that, why was he even ON the table?” This did not sound like the result of the pill induced cookies. Except… did the pills have any side effects? The drummer groaned. Damn. He hadn’t even thought of that. Had he used to many pills? Did Ruki start hallucinating due to an overdose? Oh dear.. What if it was serious? He would have to bring him to the hospital… and then he would have to explain what the vocalist suffered from and then everybody would know that he had drugged the cookies… Kai grew paler by the minute.
“Why do you think?” Aoi interrupted his thoughts. He rolled his eyes in an annoyed sort of way “He was still hung over and suffering from a sugar rush after eating your cookies last night. He probably thought it would be hilarious to climb the table. Then he went all adrenaline, behaved like a 7 year old and consequently fell of the table.”
Kai could just see the small vocalist staging his own little drama on the kitchen table and falling off after a particularly passionate move. He held out his hand to stop said vocalist in his tracks who had tried to sneak past him. “Take a cold shower…”
When they gathered for breakfast later on, everybody was ominously silent. Kai was on edge. Any moment now. His fingers were tickling with excitement. By the prickling of my thumbs… It was quiet except for the rhythmic clanging of Aoi’s spoon against the glass while he stirred his tea, the muffled crunching of Uruha chewing away on his breakfast, Ruki’s restless shifting and Reita’s sighing. In fact none of them looked comfortable. Aoi had decided against breakfast entirely and was clinging to his cup of tea as if holding on for dear life. Little beads of sweat were forming on Uruha’s forehead, and moist strands of his golden hair were sticking to his face. He chewed on his food, making the impression that he was eating lemon and vinegar rather than toast. Poor Ruki, who’s condition didn’t seem to have improved after the shower was shifting to and fro on his seat. The drummer guessed it would be the final stages of sugar rush, which made the small musician to fidgety. Reita had sacked in his chair, head tipped back, eyes closed, one hand resting on his stomach the other hung lifelessly next to him. Kai would have thought the bassist to be fast asleep, were it not for the constant sighs that escaped the blonde. Odd. Kai thought at the same time his stomach started making load rumbling noises. Wohaa… Probably about time to get some toast myself. Suddenly, just when Kai opened the fridge to make some toast, Uruha got up hurriedly, mumbled “S’cuse me…” and rushed for the bathroom. Kai looked over his shoulder from where he was standing behind the open door. The air was relievingly fresh on his hot skin. Upon Uruha’s departure Aoi’s face had turned from chalk white several shades to a mild green. The guitarist pushed the blonde’s half empty plate as far away from himself as possible, using only the tips of his fingers. Kai was satisfied. He leaned against the counter, while his toast was roasting merrily in the toaster.
So it was Uruha who had stolen his cookies. The traitor. That’s your own fault. Yesterday you ate so fast, you nearly choked and still it wasn’t enough, huh? You had to come snooping around my room. But I knew you would be coming… A hint of guilt washed over his conscience but he ignored it. He anticipated the guitarists return so he could confront him directly, in front of everybody. But Uruha did not return. Kai was starting to worry. Had he misjudged the effects of those pills? Yet the little devil inside of him pushed his worries aside. The wretched perpetrator didn’t deserve better. Eventually Uruha came back.
Kai just opened his mouth to say something when Aoi finally abandoned his cup of tea and all but ran towards the bathroom. Kai’s eyes snapped open. What the hell? Both of them? And Aoi of all people. Aoi was the one Kai had suspected the least. Then again, he had suspected that that two people could have been involved in this crime. Fine. I’ll just expose both of you for the crimes you have committed. And the two guitarists had been hanging around each other quite a lot lately. Hadn't he seen them together just yesterday in that deserted hallway?
Meanwhile, Aoi had not returned from the bathroom when Reita awoke from his torpor and dashed out into the corridor. A moment later his destination was revealed when loud knocking could be heard. “Open up, Aoi! It’s kind of urgent” There was some commotion and then a door opened and slammed shut again. Aoi shuffled back into the kitchen looking utterly nauseous. Well, well. What a charming development. Kai thought sarcastically. However, it came as no surprise to discover that Reita, the sweet tooth, was a party in this plot. The drummer wouldn’t even be surprised if the bassist was the head of this kamikaze squad.
Yet, when a moment later Ruki also got up to rush to the bathroom Kai was totally dumbfounded. What is this? What is going on? Murder on the Orient Express?* He felt anxiety rise, his body became hot. Aish! I can’t concentrate. And why is my stomach still in turmoil and making weird noises?? And just when understanding dawned on him, he felt himself in desperate need for the bathroom, too. He had hardly made it, passing a returning Ruki in the corridor, before his breakfast resurfaced.
A few minutes later he rinsed his mouth and massaged his aching belly. He heaved himself back to the kitchen, feeling drained of all strength.
“Reita… may I blame you for the ill-advised restaurant choice that got all of us food poisoning?” He leaned his burning forehead against the cool door frame. At least he was still able to put 2 and 2 together. “All of you off to bed! I’ll cancel today’s schedule” and after some consideration he added “…as well as tomorrow’s…” He gagged. “and someone get the hot water bottles from the storage cupboard…”
Ruki moaned “Do we even have five of them…?”
Exhausted Kai dragged himself back to bed and collapsed onto it. He did not take any medicine. Frankly because he didn’t believe it would stay down long enough to have any effect anyway. He fell into a restless sleep, which was frequently disturbed by the sound of someone sprinting to the bathroom. His final thoughts, whenever he was hanging over the ceramic bowl, were that now he wouldn’t know who stole his cookies. The illness would cover the effects of his spiked cookies nicely. It was frustrating. If he’d had any strength to spare he’d go berserk because of the screaming injustice of it all. Maybe it was fortunate, that he had no spare strength at the moment. Kai’s pitiful contemplation on the bathroom floor was brought to an end by a splitting headache which settled on the drummer. He groaned and heaved himself back to his room. No point in trying to find a solution now…can’t concentrate … too sick… need sleep…
Frankly the next few days were extraordinarily eventless, with all 5 Gazette members knocked out by food poisoning.
Aoi was the first to recover and hence unfortunate enough to become the recipient of Ruki’s constant nagging. While Kai, Reita and Uruha preferred to cure in peace and wanted nothing else but to be left alone in their states of varying degrees of misery, Ruki was a bloody nuisance. One day, the oldest Gazette member wouldn’t take it any longer.
“I am not your bloody maid. If you want something- go get it yourself!” Could be heard echoing around the flat late one afternoon. A moment later the furious guitarist stomped along the corridor muttering to himself “I can’t believe the nerve of the guy… Once he is back on his feet he I’ll make him pay.”
One by one the others recovered from the illness. Ruki was the last one to leave his sick bed, since he had tried to exhaust his friends nursing until the very end. It was Kai who finally put an end to it.
“If you don’t get out of bed this instant I will twitter a photo of you in the yellow jumper, you know, the one that makes you look like an oversized squash and subtitle it ‘the last hero of candy mountain’” A sharp intake of breath was followed by an outraged
“You wouldn’t dare…”
“Want to bet on that? Chop-chop!”
Ruki jumped out of bed so fast it was almost undetectable to the eye.
Reita leaned towards Kai, while Ruki was frantically looking for a fresh shirt and whispered “You mind sharing that with me?”
“Don’t get me started! I have bribe on all of you. Remember when you an Uruha were drunk Christmas before last? I still have that picture of you two wearing elves costumes while you tried to build and snog a snow-woman.”
When they were finally able to continue their schedule, Kai was busy rearranging their agenda so they would finish everything before Christmas. Yet he always made time to plan his private campaign against the cookie-thieving villain. Although his passionate revenge had been interrupted by the food-poisoning he was now back and more dangerous than ever.
One morning the five men were heading for the studio particularly early. They were all holding paper cups of steaming coffee and were wrapped in thick coats to break the icy wind. Uruha was the first no notice the tiny white flakes that were descending on them. He licked a drop off his lip where a snowflake had landed and melted a second before. Within moments it was snowing heavily and white flakes caught in the musicians’ eyelashes, hair and scarves. “The first snow! Brilliant!”
It may be in order to point out, as to why say all seemed so at ease around each other these days. After they had all been confined to their rooms these last days the strain on their companionship had eased. With everybody too weak to go around arguing and too exhausted to spent time away from their beds they had all had a nice break from each other. Except maybe for Aoi. He was still just short of a temper tantrum, especially around Ruki and Uruha. But no one really blamed the dark haired guitarist for that. Secretly, they were on his side anyway. Though no one was quite able to explain what Uruha had done to make Aoi so edgy.
In high spirits they continued their walk. Kai let himself fall back a bit. The drummer was torn between rage and joy. He was happy because he had had cookies this morning, curtsy of Aoi who had brought Oreos home from grocery shopping last night but at the same time he was frustrated because he had made no progress in the cookie-investigation. How could his plan of drugging the cookies have failed to entirely? He wrapped his scarf closer around him. While his thoughts circled around trying to find, where exactly his plan had taken a wrong turn he stared daggers at the backs of his friends, who were walking a few steps in front of him. I know one of you did it and I will find out who! Run and hide! He gave them a silent warning. Run and hide.
In the afternoon a blizzard was raging through the city. The Gazette was still at the studio recording the final parts of today’s session. Kai was deep in thought. Last time my plan was too complicated. There were too many variables. That had been the problem. I need to come up with a simpler scheme. One, which has a more immediate effect and is not liable to pass by unnoticed. Something undeniable… But what?
Before he could come to a sensible solution he heard Ruki’s microphone enhanced voice.
“Kai?….Kai… … …OY KAI!”
“Erm… huh?”
The vocalist sneered.
„I am terribly sorry to interrupt your daydream, but do you mind focusing on the rhythm?“
“Huh?”
There was some amused chuckling by the others.
“You were getting slower and slower! This isn’t a ballad for goodness sake”
“Ah-sorry”
10 minutes later.
Maybe I could mix some food colouring into the dough. Then the next day I would know for certain. But with the bad luck I’ve been having lately I would probably end up none the wiser. No, spiking the cookies is obviously not the solution to this problem. That didn’t show results last time, neither. It’s is not immediate enough. I need something that takes effect the moment the villain has his hands down my cookie-jar. Maybe I could install a video cam? A motion detector? No… that’s not it either. I want something that unmasks the thief and deals out punishment in one. I want… and suddenly it occurred to him. Simple but brilliant. A wicked smile crept onto his face.
“KAI!” Ruki snapped at him again. “What is wrong with you? This time you stopped playing altogether!”
No response.
“And what’s with the smug expression? Are you proud of impeding this recording? HELLO?! Are you even listening?” Exasperated the vocalist went over and waved a hand in front of Kai’s face. “Anybody home??” He grabbed a drumstick from Kai’s hand, which was resting aimlessly on his lap. Annoyed at being ignored Ruki raised the drumstick and hit the cymbal at full tilt. The metallic crashing sound brought Kai back into the present. The shock almost gave him a heart attack.
“WHAT THE…?” he roared, holding his hand to his chest, afraid his heart might explode. Ruki stood there, looking sour. His arms were crossed before his chest and one foot was tapping an irritated beat.
“Hell~o~ho!”
As an apology for being distracted during the session and to set his plan in motion Kai announced he would bake again tonight. In response, his friends almost started drooling. They were the first to admit that Kai’s baking skills were off this earth and no one could be mad at him for long at the prospect of his truly scrumptious cookies. And true to his word, Kai headed out to stock up on ingredients. In the meantime the others went home to order pizza from their favourite delivery service. The cookies were already roasting merrily in the oven, when the doorbell rang and pizza was delivered. They sat in the living room chatting, eating and drinking beer. Eventually, Kai got up, removed two griddles of triple-chocolate cookies from the oven and set them on the counter to cool. He went to bring in his cookie-jar and a steal box. He filled the jar about halfway, and the box to the brim with biscuits. He would hide the steal box in his sock-drawer so that he had a reservoir to fall back on should the cookies from the jar vanish again. He returned both containers to his room. Before returning to his friends he sat on his bed, porcelain jar in his arm. His anger knew no end. Colleagues, friends were stealing each other’s cookies. Like common thieves. It was shameful. He didn't no how it had come so far. So far that he was forced to do this. Just momentarily Kai approved of the ‘old ways’, i.e. finding the pilferer with the help of torture. On his last holidays he had visited a torture museum. And right now a lack of carbohydrates made the drummer inventive. Why had it come to this? Why was he forced to do this? To take such measures? But all doubts were long gone. There was no hesitation about what he was about to do. No second thoughts. He wanted this to end. He pulled a tiny wooden device from the shopping back. The contraption looked malicious, but he installed it with grim determination. It will be over soon...
When he rejoined his friends they had already devoured all cookies save one. And they were already eying it greedily, like they were ready to fight over it to the death. Kai quickly snatched it away, afraid he might have to go empty handed again.
“ ’shlicious!” he munched, looking content. The others turned away in disappointment. Uruha remained rooted to the spot. His eyes locked on something invisible in the distance. Looks like he really wanted that last cookie. Kai thought and shrugged. Reita pointed at Aoi. “You’ve got some chocolate in the corner of your mouth…” Aoi blinked in surprise but excused himself and went to wipe it off in front of the bathroom mirror.
And then night fell.
tbc.
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* A novel by Agatha Christie, featuring her famous character Hercule Poroit, in which all 13 suspects are guilty.
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You kinda hate me now, right? XD
I didn't want to let you wait any longer...
But don't worry - there will be an epilogue :)
Feel free to drop a line. I am always grateful for feedback.
Part: III. The hidden contraption maneuver
Author: reitassugarlump
Pairing: ./. just Kai.
Rating: harmless
Warnings: no beta. sorry. T_T
Disclaimer: who would have guessed, right? I don't own them. Just my lively fantasy.
Notes: Apologies for taking so long. I hope you like it!
Chapters: Part 01 Part 02
Synopsis: Someone was stealing from Kai's personal secret stash of cookies. Which is high treason! So while the drummer tries to combat hypoglycaemia and at the same time device a plan to catch the thief in the act, the others have to watch their friend slowly go mental...
The trap is laid!
III.
But before Kai would get a chance to bake the next morning, they all had to pack up and head for the studio for another recording. During break (which Kai prolonged by half an hour for everbody’s sake) he strolled across the street into a convivi store. While determinately walking along the isle in search for all the prime ingredients which he would need he also dropped a couple of sweets into his basket, so his colleagues would stop the arguing, the threatening and the stomping. There was a moment this morning when Kai thought they would have to bail Ruki out of jail because he seriously looked like bashing someones head in with his mic-stand. Fortunately, or unfortunately (depends on the point of view) he discovered he could do more harm by innocently getting the everybody entangled in the cord. Aoi was the one who got tangled up first. His feed were caught in the wire and he hell toward Uruha and both crashed to the floor. Aoi who had not recovered from the fall he suffered yesterday, was more than willing to give the Vocalist a proper beating but after some anger management by Uruha had gone for colourful swearing that made even Reita’s ears turn pink. Kai sighed. It was such a mess and he was to preoccupied by his detective work and personal revenge plan that he could not concentrate on getting everybody back on track.
He grabbed flour, sugar, cacao, high priced dark chocolate with ginger, eggs, rich cream milk and butter. He briefly considered caramel sauce, marshmallows, white chocolate and sweet plums but decided to stick to the original plan of making simple double chocolate cookies. While walking towards the cashier he passed the pharmaceuticals. He came to a sudden stop. A woman walked past him, shaking her head in disapproval “Don’t stand in the way like that!” But Kai never heard her. A plan was forming in the drummers sugar depleted mind. It was a scheme which would also make him eligible as nominee for the position of “world’s evil mastermind”. His thoughts were already racing: Maybe I could…? But I shouldn’t! Yet if I think about it like this…On the other hand what if…? Who would know? But I really ought not to…No one would have to know… I would know! Anyhow I might finally unmask the thief! This final argument tipped the scale. So he added a bottle of perfectly innocent looking pills to his cart. While he finished his shopping and returned to the studio he aimed for an inconspicuous stroll.
Once back at the company, he headed for the studio only to encounter the following scene in an dimly lit side corridor. Aoi had pushed Uruha up against the far wall and looked threateningly determined. Their faces were so close, it seemed the dark haired guitarist was ready to throttle the blonde at any moment. Kai felt like, he was observing a robbery in a shabby alley in one of the less glamorous parts of town. He tensed. He seriously needed to get his colleagues into anger management. With Aoi still furious from the situation earlier, Kai dared not imagine what kind of trivial tittle-tattle on Uruha’s part had driven the dark haired musician to go berserk in an empty corridor.
“Oy! You two! Cut it out!” He walked over and got a hold of Aoi’s ear and pulled him off of Uruha.
“AHH~”
“How about you take a walk? There is some time left before we resume recording- go cool down!”
“Kai…”
“I don’t even want to hear what happened. Get out before I lose my patience!” He let go of Aoi’s ear and pointed towards the exit. “Out! now!”
The disgruntled guitarist left, still rubbing his ear.
Kai sighed. Really, the longer this whole cookie enigma took the more his band’s well being was at stake. He patted Uruha on the shoulder “ ’You alright? Seriously why did you have to provoke him? Aren’t we having enough hard times as it is?”
The blonde looked up “I didn’t…”
“Whatever. I brought some snacks. If we finish in time today I’ll make cookies tonight. That should be a reward everybody looks forward to, right? Maybe I can even persuade you to perform at least once without an interruption.”
He turned on his heels and walked back to the studio, leaving the Uruha behind who remained standing in the corridor somewhat at a loss of what to do with himself. Unfortunately once Kai opened the door to the recording studio he had to face an even more heated scene. Ruki had finally decided to go physical and was currently fencing off Reita with his music stand. The sheet music was flying around everywhere and sailing across the room. The drummer groaned, while the bassist was trying to advance on the vocalist, to find a flaw in Ruki’s defense. Kai massaged his temples.
“What is this? National Idiot day? Give me strength!” a little louder he said “Will you stop it already!”
He grabbed the threateningly swinging music stand from Ruki.
“What did you all do, wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a man's life?” Sweet lord… you are the nails in my coffin… No don’t you dare!”
Reita had inched passed Kai towards Ruki but Kai quickly intersected his path and hooked a finger in the blondes shirt to stop him.
“Can’t I leave you all alone for even half an hour?”
Ruki pointed at Reita with an expression of utter disbelieve plastered across his usually handsome features. A second later it was replaced by raging fury.
“The bastard, he…!”
“Hold it right there. I really don’t care who started this. I am ending it right now! I won’t hear another word. You are adults, settle your disputes like grown ups. I don’t want to see anymore of the shouting and the.. the.. attacking. Seriously what is it with the physical altercations today?” He continued to repeat his baking proposal and the atmosphere brightened considerably.
Seemingly the prospect of receiving some of Kai’s treats was enough to get everybody to concentrate. Though Uruha kept looking at Aoi and avoiding the other guitarist as though afraid of being punched at any moment, luckily nothing happened. Everybody was relieved when the clock struck 7 pm and they had finished the day’s work. Most astonishingly, they had actually made some progress for a change.
“Well done, everybody! Thanks for working so hard!” It was a compliment he hadn’t paid them in a while so naturally all members were grateful. Even Uruha smiled despite the penetrating stares he received from Aoi. Kai shot them a glance that could be interpreted along the lines of I don’t care what is going on, but I want this resolved by tomorrow!
“Let’s wrap it up and go home!”
Indeed, when Kai came out from the shower he didn’t even bother to dry his hair properly. He just tied the wet strands up into a tiny, sloppy ponytail and got to work in the kitchen. Within minutes his black apron was covered in thin layer white flour dust. The feeling of soft dough between his fingers and the skilled and routinised moves of his slender fingers kneading it made him relaxed and as happy as he hasn’t been in a while. Reita had given Kai a mixer and dough hooks for his birthday, but the drummer never used them. At least not for pastry making. He enjoyed the craftsmanship of preparing the cookie dough. There was something about the velvety feel of the dough that just made him smile. His friends once asked him how he managed to keep the dough from taking on a sticky consistency, but he had only remarked upon the right ratio of ingredients and love for the dough. Respect the dough!
While the others took their turns in the bathroom or were otherwise preoccupied Kai pulled the wee bottle of pills from his pocket and stared at it. Now I will catch the little bugger! With grim determination he unscrewed the lid and cast aside his doubts. A handful of pills rolled across the counter before Kai gathered them up and ground them into a fine powder. Hastily he mixed it with a part of the dough which he had set aside, before his conscience could sway his decision. By the time he had added cacao and chocolate sprinkles the size of chunks everybody had joined him in the kitchen.
“Are they done yet?” asked Ruki.
“How old are you? Like 5 years old?” Uruha teased him. He mimicked a child’s voice “Mommy are we there yet? Are the cookies done yet? Can I have an ice cream?”
Ruki’s eyes narrowed to slits.
“Don’t you start again!” The drummer knocked their heads together. This left the two squabblers with a head ache as well some flour in the hair.
“The dough has to settle a little. I am hungry and since you all did a good job today I’ll treat you for supper. Once we get back I’ll put the cookies in the oven.” This declaration was met with general enthusiasm.
“I know just the place!” Reita said beaming “There is this new restaurant just down the road! It opened last week. I walk past it all the time and am really curious.”
They returned late, but exhilarated. Everybody slumped onto the sofas in the living room. In the meantime Kai proceeded to form small cookie shaped disks of dough and pushed to full sets of them into the oven. Soon after, the smell of cookies wavered through the flat.
Once the timer rang, Kai raced into the kitchen to set aside some cookies for himself and to refill his cookie jar. He had hardly stacked away the cookies and retrieved the second griddle of still hot treats from the oven when his friends approached him. The look of pure ravenousness on their faces frightened the drummer to the core. He retreated slowly until his back was pushed against the counter. They had him cornered in an instant. He looked rather like a deer, circled by a starving pack of hyenas. And indeed right now, all four of them seemed to match the description of a chocolate craving cookie thief. “Easy boys…!”
Within minutes there were only crumbs left. Kai had not even had a single one of the biscuits for himself. He couldn’t believe it. So much effort and I did not even have a single bite. You got to be kidding me! What the hell did just happen? Where did the cookies go? Where are my cookies? I’ve been robbed again! Before my very eyes! Disappeared. Vanished inside these voracious vultures. He felt his anger rise, when he looked at their content faces. It only added to his rage, that there was a whole bunch of cookies in his room which he could not touch, due to them being…well…spiked. Currently Aoi was licking off his fingers and picking up the crumbs with his wet fingertips. Uruha started coughing wildly and turned away hurriedly while Reita was clapping his back. Kai’s eyes narrowed to slits. Serves you right! To eat so fast that crumbs got down your windpipe! Ruki lifted his head, the look on his face reflected utter satisfaction, and asked seductively
“Kai, what happened to that second griddle of cookies?” His voice was slightly slurred from drinking too much beer at the restaurant. “I know there was more!”
Kai raised an eyebrow “Oh? Is that so? It’s a shame. They were burnt. No good at all.” he answered nonchalantly. This lie was just obvious enough for his friends to see through it if they wanted to. And it was exactly was Kai was counting on. So the thief would come out of hiding and go looking for the cookies. If he hadn’t been so mad at this moment because of the fact the he still had had no cookies he would have been more eager to see his plan unfold. As it was, he was terribly angry. His wrath was limitless. And finally he could no longer contain it.
“I break up your fights, I treat you for supper, I make you cookies…” he started advancing on his friends. “…and still you show no regard! Did any of you notice that I did not get so much as a bite of my own cookies?!” He raised the griddle he was still holding with his oven gloved hands.
In his frustration he didn’t know who to attack first and eventually lost all his fire. He slammed the door shut and went to bed with the nagging desire to simply eat the contaminated cookies. Ruki, Reita, Aoi and Uruha had the decency to fell ashamed.
Ah well what do you know? The next morning Kai found his cookie jar emptied. A nasty smile crept onto his face. What goes around comes around. Kai had succeeded to play them at their own game. Now all he had to do was wait.
He went into the kitchen, where he found Aoi patting a very ill-looking Ruki. The drummer was surprised. Should he have found his culprit so fast? He was almost disappointed. The guitarist looked up at him. “Ohayou~ Did we wake you up? Sorry… Ruki is somewhat... restless this morning and woke me up, because he made a hell of a ruckus when he fell of the table. Did you hear it, too?”
Kai’s brows furrowed. “fallen off… the table” He had to chew over this for some time before the information settled. “I don’t know where to start asking. Why did he fall off the table? … And come to that, why was he even ON the table?” This did not sound like the result of the pill induced cookies. Except… did the pills have any side effects? The drummer groaned. Damn. He hadn’t even thought of that. Had he used to many pills? Did Ruki start hallucinating due to an overdose? Oh dear.. What if it was serious? He would have to bring him to the hospital… and then he would have to explain what the vocalist suffered from and then everybody would know that he had drugged the cookies… Kai grew paler by the minute.
“Why do you think?” Aoi interrupted his thoughts. He rolled his eyes in an annoyed sort of way “He was still hung over and suffering from a sugar rush after eating your cookies last night. He probably thought it would be hilarious to climb the table. Then he went all adrenaline, behaved like a 7 year old and consequently fell of the table.”
Kai could just see the small vocalist staging his own little drama on the kitchen table and falling off after a particularly passionate move. He held out his hand to stop said vocalist in his tracks who had tried to sneak past him. “Take a cold shower…”
When they gathered for breakfast later on, everybody was ominously silent. Kai was on edge. Any moment now. His fingers were tickling with excitement. By the prickling of my thumbs… It was quiet except for the rhythmic clanging of Aoi’s spoon against the glass while he stirred his tea, the muffled crunching of Uruha chewing away on his breakfast, Ruki’s restless shifting and Reita’s sighing. In fact none of them looked comfortable. Aoi had decided against breakfast entirely and was clinging to his cup of tea as if holding on for dear life. Little beads of sweat were forming on Uruha’s forehead, and moist strands of his golden hair were sticking to his face. He chewed on his food, making the impression that he was eating lemon and vinegar rather than toast. Poor Ruki, who’s condition didn’t seem to have improved after the shower was shifting to and fro on his seat. The drummer guessed it would be the final stages of sugar rush, which made the small musician to fidgety. Reita had sacked in his chair, head tipped back, eyes closed, one hand resting on his stomach the other hung lifelessly next to him. Kai would have thought the bassist to be fast asleep, were it not for the constant sighs that escaped the blonde. Odd. Kai thought at the same time his stomach started making load rumbling noises. Wohaa… Probably about time to get some toast myself. Suddenly, just when Kai opened the fridge to make some toast, Uruha got up hurriedly, mumbled “S’cuse me…” and rushed for the bathroom. Kai looked over his shoulder from where he was standing behind the open door. The air was relievingly fresh on his hot skin. Upon Uruha’s departure Aoi’s face had turned from chalk white several shades to a mild green. The guitarist pushed the blonde’s half empty plate as far away from himself as possible, using only the tips of his fingers. Kai was satisfied. He leaned against the counter, while his toast was roasting merrily in the toaster.
So it was Uruha who had stolen his cookies. The traitor. That’s your own fault. Yesterday you ate so fast, you nearly choked and still it wasn’t enough, huh? You had to come snooping around my room. But I knew you would be coming… A hint of guilt washed over his conscience but he ignored it. He anticipated the guitarists return so he could confront him directly, in front of everybody. But Uruha did not return. Kai was starting to worry. Had he misjudged the effects of those pills? Yet the little devil inside of him pushed his worries aside. The wretched perpetrator didn’t deserve better. Eventually Uruha came back.
Kai just opened his mouth to say something when Aoi finally abandoned his cup of tea and all but ran towards the bathroom. Kai’s eyes snapped open. What the hell? Both of them? And Aoi of all people. Aoi was the one Kai had suspected the least. Then again, he had suspected that that two people could have been involved in this crime. Fine. I’ll just expose both of you for the crimes you have committed. And the two guitarists had been hanging around each other quite a lot lately. Hadn't he seen them together just yesterday in that deserted hallway?
Meanwhile, Aoi had not returned from the bathroom when Reita awoke from his torpor and dashed out into the corridor. A moment later his destination was revealed when loud knocking could be heard. “Open up, Aoi! It’s kind of urgent” There was some commotion and then a door opened and slammed shut again. Aoi shuffled back into the kitchen looking utterly nauseous. Well, well. What a charming development. Kai thought sarcastically. However, it came as no surprise to discover that Reita, the sweet tooth, was a party in this plot. The drummer wouldn’t even be surprised if the bassist was the head of this kamikaze squad.
Yet, when a moment later Ruki also got up to rush to the bathroom Kai was totally dumbfounded. What is this? What is going on? Murder on the Orient Express?* He felt anxiety rise, his body became hot. Aish! I can’t concentrate. And why is my stomach still in turmoil and making weird noises?? And just when understanding dawned on him, he felt himself in desperate need for the bathroom, too. He had hardly made it, passing a returning Ruki in the corridor, before his breakfast resurfaced.
A few minutes later he rinsed his mouth and massaged his aching belly. He heaved himself back to the kitchen, feeling drained of all strength.
“Reita… may I blame you for the ill-advised restaurant choice that got all of us food poisoning?” He leaned his burning forehead against the cool door frame. At least he was still able to put 2 and 2 together. “All of you off to bed! I’ll cancel today’s schedule” and after some consideration he added “…as well as tomorrow’s…” He gagged. “and someone get the hot water bottles from the storage cupboard…”
Ruki moaned “Do we even have five of them…?”
Exhausted Kai dragged himself back to bed and collapsed onto it. He did not take any medicine. Frankly because he didn’t believe it would stay down long enough to have any effect anyway. He fell into a restless sleep, which was frequently disturbed by the sound of someone sprinting to the bathroom. His final thoughts, whenever he was hanging over the ceramic bowl, were that now he wouldn’t know who stole his cookies. The illness would cover the effects of his spiked cookies nicely. It was frustrating. If he’d had any strength to spare he’d go berserk because of the screaming injustice of it all. Maybe it was fortunate, that he had no spare strength at the moment. Kai’s pitiful contemplation on the bathroom floor was brought to an end by a splitting headache which settled on the drummer. He groaned and heaved himself back to his room. No point in trying to find a solution now…can’t concentrate … too sick… need sleep…
Frankly the next few days were extraordinarily eventless, with all 5 Gazette members knocked out by food poisoning.
Aoi was the first to recover and hence unfortunate enough to become the recipient of Ruki’s constant nagging. While Kai, Reita and Uruha preferred to cure in peace and wanted nothing else but to be left alone in their states of varying degrees of misery, Ruki was a bloody nuisance. One day, the oldest Gazette member wouldn’t take it any longer.
“I am not your bloody maid. If you want something- go get it yourself!” Could be heard echoing around the flat late one afternoon. A moment later the furious guitarist stomped along the corridor muttering to himself “I can’t believe the nerve of the guy… Once he is back on his feet he I’ll make him pay.”
One by one the others recovered from the illness. Ruki was the last one to leave his sick bed, since he had tried to exhaust his friends nursing until the very end. It was Kai who finally put an end to it.
“If you don’t get out of bed this instant I will twitter a photo of you in the yellow jumper, you know, the one that makes you look like an oversized squash and subtitle it ‘the last hero of candy mountain’” A sharp intake of breath was followed by an outraged
“You wouldn’t dare…”
“Want to bet on that? Chop-chop!”
Ruki jumped out of bed so fast it was almost undetectable to the eye.
Reita leaned towards Kai, while Ruki was frantically looking for a fresh shirt and whispered “You mind sharing that with me?”
“Don’t get me started! I have bribe on all of you. Remember when you an Uruha were drunk Christmas before last? I still have that picture of you two wearing elves costumes while you tried to build and snog a snow-woman.”
When they were finally able to continue their schedule, Kai was busy rearranging their agenda so they would finish everything before Christmas. Yet he always made time to plan his private campaign against the cookie-thieving villain. Although his passionate revenge had been interrupted by the food-poisoning he was now back and more dangerous than ever.
One morning the five men were heading for the studio particularly early. They were all holding paper cups of steaming coffee and were wrapped in thick coats to break the icy wind. Uruha was the first no notice the tiny white flakes that were descending on them. He licked a drop off his lip where a snowflake had landed and melted a second before. Within moments it was snowing heavily and white flakes caught in the musicians’ eyelashes, hair and scarves. “The first snow! Brilliant!”
It may be in order to point out, as to why say all seemed so at ease around each other these days. After they had all been confined to their rooms these last days the strain on their companionship had eased. With everybody too weak to go around arguing and too exhausted to spent time away from their beds they had all had a nice break from each other. Except maybe for Aoi. He was still just short of a temper tantrum, especially around Ruki and Uruha. But no one really blamed the dark haired guitarist for that. Secretly, they were on his side anyway. Though no one was quite able to explain what Uruha had done to make Aoi so edgy.
In high spirits they continued their walk. Kai let himself fall back a bit. The drummer was torn between rage and joy. He was happy because he had had cookies this morning, curtsy of Aoi who had brought Oreos home from grocery shopping last night but at the same time he was frustrated because he had made no progress in the cookie-investigation. How could his plan of drugging the cookies have failed to entirely? He wrapped his scarf closer around him. While his thoughts circled around trying to find, where exactly his plan had taken a wrong turn he stared daggers at the backs of his friends, who were walking a few steps in front of him. I know one of you did it and I will find out who! Run and hide! He gave them a silent warning. Run and hide.
In the afternoon a blizzard was raging through the city. The Gazette was still at the studio recording the final parts of today’s session. Kai was deep in thought. Last time my plan was too complicated. There were too many variables. That had been the problem. I need to come up with a simpler scheme. One, which has a more immediate effect and is not liable to pass by unnoticed. Something undeniable… But what?
Before he could come to a sensible solution he heard Ruki’s microphone enhanced voice.
“Kai?….Kai… … …OY KAI!”
“Erm… huh?”
The vocalist sneered.
„I am terribly sorry to interrupt your daydream, but do you mind focusing on the rhythm?“
“Huh?”
There was some amused chuckling by the others.
“You were getting slower and slower! This isn’t a ballad for goodness sake”
“Ah-sorry”
10 minutes later.
Maybe I could mix some food colouring into the dough. Then the next day I would know for certain. But with the bad luck I’ve been having lately I would probably end up none the wiser. No, spiking the cookies is obviously not the solution to this problem. That didn’t show results last time, neither. It’s is not immediate enough. I need something that takes effect the moment the villain has his hands down my cookie-jar. Maybe I could install a video cam? A motion detector? No… that’s not it either. I want something that unmasks the thief and deals out punishment in one. I want… and suddenly it occurred to him. Simple but brilliant. A wicked smile crept onto his face.
“KAI!” Ruki snapped at him again. “What is wrong with you? This time you stopped playing altogether!”
No response.
“And what’s with the smug expression? Are you proud of impeding this recording? HELLO?! Are you even listening?” Exasperated the vocalist went over and waved a hand in front of Kai’s face. “Anybody home??” He grabbed a drumstick from Kai’s hand, which was resting aimlessly on his lap. Annoyed at being ignored Ruki raised the drumstick and hit the cymbal at full tilt. The metallic crashing sound brought Kai back into the present. The shock almost gave him a heart attack.
“WHAT THE…?” he roared, holding his hand to his chest, afraid his heart might explode. Ruki stood there, looking sour. His arms were crossed before his chest and one foot was tapping an irritated beat.
“Hell~o~ho!”
As an apology for being distracted during the session and to set his plan in motion Kai announced he would bake again tonight. In response, his friends almost started drooling. They were the first to admit that Kai’s baking skills were off this earth and no one could be mad at him for long at the prospect of his truly scrumptious cookies. And true to his word, Kai headed out to stock up on ingredients. In the meantime the others went home to order pizza from their favourite delivery service. The cookies were already roasting merrily in the oven, when the doorbell rang and pizza was delivered. They sat in the living room chatting, eating and drinking beer. Eventually, Kai got up, removed two griddles of triple-chocolate cookies from the oven and set them on the counter to cool. He went to bring in his cookie-jar and a steal box. He filled the jar about halfway, and the box to the brim with biscuits. He would hide the steal box in his sock-drawer so that he had a reservoir to fall back on should the cookies from the jar vanish again. He returned both containers to his room. Before returning to his friends he sat on his bed, porcelain jar in his arm. His anger knew no end. Colleagues, friends were stealing each other’s cookies. Like common thieves. It was shameful. He didn't no how it had come so far. So far that he was forced to do this. Just momentarily Kai approved of the ‘old ways’, i.e. finding the pilferer with the help of torture. On his last holidays he had visited a torture museum. And right now a lack of carbohydrates made the drummer inventive. Why had it come to this? Why was he forced to do this? To take such measures? But all doubts were long gone. There was no hesitation about what he was about to do. No second thoughts. He wanted this to end. He pulled a tiny wooden device from the shopping back. The contraption looked malicious, but he installed it with grim determination. It will be over soon...
When he rejoined his friends they had already devoured all cookies save one. And they were already eying it greedily, like they were ready to fight over it to the death. Kai quickly snatched it away, afraid he might have to go empty handed again.
“ ’shlicious!” he munched, looking content. The others turned away in disappointment. Uruha remained rooted to the spot. His eyes locked on something invisible in the distance. Looks like he really wanted that last cookie. Kai thought and shrugged. Reita pointed at Aoi. “You’ve got some chocolate in the corner of your mouth…” Aoi blinked in surprise but excused himself and went to wipe it off in front of the bathroom mirror.
And then night fell.
tbc.
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* A novel by Agatha Christie, featuring her famous character Hercule Poroit, in which all 13 suspects are guilty.
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You kinda hate me now, right? XD
I didn't want to let you wait any longer...
But don't worry - there will be an epilogue :)
Feel free to drop a line. I am always grateful for feedback.