fic: Sometimes (I Wish) 3/??
Fandom: Glee
Title: Sometimes (I Wish)
Author: jt4702(JT)
Chapter 3
Rachel calls Alex and they set up a conference call with the other two the moment the front door is closed. Rachel goes into a detailed explanation of what happened once they left.
“I knew we should have stayed. Then that little punk wouldn’t have dared.” Gabe fumes.
“It’s ok. Quinn caught me just before I fell, and then she and Noah stood up for me.” Rachel tells them again, still having a hard believing that Quinn Fabray would actually come to her defence.
“I don’t trust her.” Kelly says once Rachel is done.
“I have my doubts, but I saw the look in her eyes. I’m willing to give her another chance, just like I did with Noah.” Rachel says.
“How many more chances will you give them, Little Robin? On the upside, at least you dumped the big troll’s ass.” Gabe says.
“Gabe! That wasn’t nice.” Rachel exclaims.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t insult poor, innocent trolls.” Gabe retorts, causing everyone to laugh.
“You’re hopeless. You don’t even know him.” Rachel finally says in between giggles.
“Not through fault of our own. We tried, but the dimwitted, crusty botch of nature decided to act like an overgrown toddler the one time we met. Needless to say, the impression he left wasn’t a good one.” Gabe continues.
“You’re the hopeless one. What are you doing defending that spineless moron?” Kelly cuts in.
“Well, to be fair, you’ve only met Finn once. Since then, you’ve heard nothing by my complaints and…” Rachel starts to say only to be interrupted again.
“His own doing Rach. If he was worth our time, his actions wouldn’t prompt that many complaints from you. I’d rather shave a hungry, rabid lion with a rusty and dull razor, rather than willingly spend a second with that spineless, self-serving asshole. I can’t speak for Alex and Gabe, but I really don’t feel like knowing the rest either. If they can’t see how great you are, they’re not worth my time.” Kelly says, her quick temper getting the better of her again.
“Us too.” The boys reply in unison.
“I really love you for your undying support, but I need to believe that there is some good in at least a few of them. Otherwise, I’ll end up taking Fusilli to school and accidentally release him from his leash. Noah has been so good to me for the past month.” Rachel interjects.
“That might not be such a bad idea.” Gabe grumbles.
“I won’t deny that, but for how long? And, what’s in it for him this time? Is he trying to get into your pants again?” Kelly adds, harsher than intended.
“I’d like to think that this time, there is no time limit. Need I remind you that he also couldn’t go through with my stupid plan to get even? I know you care, but please, lay off a bit. It would be nice to have someone in that miserable school to call a friend.” Rachel says, voice cracking a bit.
“Way to go, Sis.” Alex mutters darkly to his sister. “We’re sorry. She means well, Little Robin. We’ve seen them hurt you so many times that we tend to get a bit overzealous when it comes to keeping you safe.” Alex says in a much softer voice.
“I’m sorry Rach. Alex is right. That was really fucked up of me. Please forgive me.” Kelly says regretfully.
“Language Kel, and of course I forgive you. I understand how you feel, but Noah’s company has been one of the few things keeping me sane. I’d like to think that this time is real.” Rachel confesses.
“We know. We’ll trust you, but we reserve the right to kick his ass if he breaks your heart again. Deal?” Alex says.
“I appreciate the trust, but no rear kicking. I will not have you arrested for assault because of me.” Rachel says, her smile apparent in her voice. “I can always invite him to join us at the coffee house on Friday. That way you can get to know him in a setting that’s to our advantage.” Rachel suggests.
“Are you sure you want him there? We could meet elsewhere.” Alex asks.
“Yes. I want a fairly neutral place where I’m comfortable. It’s also a public location. He has a temper, and so do the three of you. Besides, it’s a moot point now, since they already saw me and heard me play and sing with you guys.” Rachel says.
“Sorry about that. I know you wanted to keep that private, though I don’t see why. You’re a truly talented musician in every sense of the word, yet those witless boors you go to school with think you sleep, breathe, eat and drink show tunes only, when your knowledge of music encyclopaedic.” Gabe mutters.
“Just like I never understood the need for parents to lie to their children about there being a large obese man dressed in a red suit lined with white fur who delivers presents to those who are deemed good, only to shatter their trust by telling them it was nothing but a big elaborate lie to get them to behave.” Rachel quips.
“We’re not going into that debate again. It’s not the same.” Kelly warns, feeling a headache forming already.
“What?” Rachel and Gabe ask in unison.
“I was just giving an example of a behaviour I don’t understand when Gabe pointed one he doesn’t.” Rachel adds innocently.
“Knock it off Rach. I can see the faux-innocent face with the big doe eyes. The only thing missing is a fake halo hovering over your head and background harp music.” Kelly adds.
“Ruin my fun, why don’t you.” Rachel grumbles good naturedly.
“Stop trying to change the subject. I get your plan. Ask him to join us this Friday if you wish, but he meets us there and we’re the ones driving you there. I know we can carpool and all that sh… crap, but I’m not budging on this. This way if things don’t work out, he has a way to go home and not be stranded in Columbus.” Alex says, anticipating Rachel’s rant about trust and the environment.
“Fine. I will admit that you have made some very good points. Thank you for trying.” Rachel says.
“What about Malibu Barbie?” Kelly asks.
“You mean Quinn?” Rachel asks, already cringing at the mental image of Quinn’s reaction should Kelly call her that to her face.
“Yes, her. Will she join us on Friday as well?” Kelly says, clearly not liking the idea.
“I honestly don’t know. I guess it depends on how things progress these next few days. She seemed sincere, and I would like to have more than one friend in school. I’ll do my best to be careful.” Rachel says. They are all thinking about every single failed relationship the diva has had since her freshman year at McKinley, be it platonic or not.
“That’s all we ask. We just hate to see you get your hopes up only to get them crushed and you end up hurt again.” Alex says before his hot-headed sister can put her foot in her mouth again.
“I know. I swear I was born too late, or you guys were born too early.” Rachel says.
“Yeah, we know. By the way, Mom says you’re coming to dinner tomorrow night. I’m to pick you up from school and drive you here so don’t drive to school tomorrow. We’re taking you to breakfast and then we’ll drop you off. Don’t forget to bring an overnight bag because we have tons to catch up on.” Alex says in a sing-song voice.
“No you won’t. Rachel and I will be picking you and Gabe up because I’ll be driving over to Rachel’s for a run. Unless of course you guys want to join us.” Kelly says, smile evident in her voice.
“Nope, you and Rachel can run ‘til the cows come home. Just come and get us when you’re ready.” Gabe answers, already cringing at the thought of getting up that early.
“Will do.” Rachel replies ecstatic. “As much as it pains me to cut this short, I still need to take care of today’s assignments and think of something for dinner. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Rachel adds.
“Take care Little Robin. Call if you need anything.” Gabe says before he disconnects.
“See you tomorrow bright and early for our run.” Kelly says as she disconnects.
“We’ll talk tomorrow. I love you, Little Robin.” Alex says with affection.
“I love you too. Alex.” Rachel says as she disconnects from the call.
Rachel makes her way to the kitchen and makes herself a Portobello mushroom and vegetable wrap. She pulls out a container of split pea soup from the freezer to reheat. She takes her meal to her room where she tackles her homework and required reading. She is startled by Puck’s ringtone filling the air.
“Hello Noah. How was community service?” Rachel greets with a smile, even though Puck can’t see it.
“Done, thank God. I’m on probation for the next six months. I can’t get in any kind of trouble, or I’m back in juvie. It sucks.” Puck complains.
“It could be worse, and you know it. Besides, it’s entirely your fault for pulling that stupid stunt with the ATM. And all because of some stupid dare from your Neanderthal teammates.” Rachel chastises for what feels like the millionth time.
“Yeah, well, don’t give me any more grief over it please. My mom is bad enough with all her Jewish guilt. I can’t take it coming from you as well.” Puck grumbles.
“I’m sorry Noah. I don’t like that you nearly threw your future away because of peer pressure. You’re lucky you’re underage and this was your official first offense on record, because by the time you’re eighteen they’ll expunge your criminal record.” Rachel adds softly, disappointment and concern evident in her voice.
“I know… Why didn’t you tell me you could play the piano that well? We could have done some killer duets with you on the piano and me on the guitar. We could’ve owned Glee.” Puck asks, changing subjects and putting the spotlight on Rachel and away from him. All his life he has done stupid impulsive things. He hates to be reminded of them or the possible outcomes, especially from someone he cares about, so he shifts the attention to someone or something else.
“I know what you’re doing, and I’ll let it go for now, but not before reminding you that you’re not a ‘Lima Loser’. You just make the wrong choices for the wrong reasons because you act before you think.” Rachel says, knowing how hard it is to always have negative things thrown in your face. “Piano playing never really came up and by the time it mattered, no one would have listened to me. Besides, it’s not like the rest don’t have enough reasons to hate me. Why would I have given them even more?” Rachel replies.
“They’re just jealous.” Puck says.
“I know. Still doesn’t mean I have to like how I’m treated. The fact that I can play an instrument doesn’t really help us much. You play guitar, yet it’s hardly something that matters when it comes to the numbers we do for competition.” Rachel replies.
“Perhaps, but your skills in arranging a piece of music in a few minutes are.” Puck counters.
Rachel’s eyes open wide in surprise. Just how long were New Directions watching them? “How do you know that?” Rachel blurts out without thinking.
“We caught half of ‘burning in the skies’. Then we heard you talk to your friends as you guys were working on the arrangements for ‘waiting for the end’. You’d be amazed at how well sound carries in that auditorium.” Puck says. “Why haven’t you used those mad skills to our advantage?” Puck asks, knowing the answer already, not really sure why he even bothers.
“Alex said something about the acoustics as well. Do you really need to ask me that? Do you think the others would have listened to me? Do you think you would have listened to anything I had to say two months ago?” Rachel asks, sounding a bit harsher than intended.
Puck actually recoils at the words. He doesn’t say anything because what right does he have to get pissed off or to feel bad, when he has been making the girl’s life impossible for nearly two years? “What were you doing before I called?” He asks, changing subjects again.
“I’m sorry Noah. I need to watch what I say. I shouldn’t let my insecurities get the better of me. You have been wonderful to me this past month and you didn’t deserve that. I said I was letting go of the past, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.” Rachel says. “I was just finishing my homework. Have you done yours?” She adds.
Puck is left speechless for a moment. He still needs to get used to how perceptive of others Rachel is. Perhaps the girl is right in saying she has a sixth sense. “No, I haven’t.” He finally replies. “Don’t apologise, Berry. I deserve that and much more. Don’t let me, or the others off the hook so easily because it just makes it easier for us to treat you like shit. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself against us. We don’t deserve your sympathy.” Puck says feeling bad. “I’m sorry for asking Rachel. That was really stupid of me.” Puck mumbles in the phone. He’s still not used to apologising, but if there is one person in this town who deserves it from him, it’s Rachel. “Anyway, I need to jet. I gotta go check on the brat.” Puck adds.
“Okay. Have a good night Noah.” Rachel says, still trying to get used to the dynamics of their developing relationship. “Go do your homework.” Rachel then says in a tone of voice eerily similar to the one his mom uses when she’s telling his little sister she needs to do something she doesn’t like, making him roll his eyes at her
“And don’t roll your eyes at me Noah.” Rachel adds.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, Berry.” Puck mumbles, never admitting he was rolling his eyes, but annoyed she called him on it.
“See you tomorrow Noah.” Rachel says amused and she disconnects the call without giving him a chance to come up with some smart ass remark. When all else fails, go back to what works, banter with him.
Rachel’s dads arrive a few minutes after her talk with Puck. They talk about their respective days. Both men are ecstatic when they find out Rachel finally stood up for herself where Finn was concerned. As expected, they’re cautious of Quinn’s sudden change in attitude, but are willing to give the blonde a chance to prove herself, just like they did with Puck. Both men are proud of Rachel’s forgiving nature, yet, they can’t help but wonder if maybe she is a little too forgiving. Still, a forgiving girl who always sees the best in people first is definitely preferable to a sullen, jaded, and cynical girl. They tell her how proud they are of her and they go their separate ways.
By the time Rachel goes to bed, she feels lighter than she has felt in quite some time. She even gets a quick text from Quinn wishing her a good night. She quickly replies and turns on the timer on her iPod dock for her usual six a.m. wake up call.
* * *
The first thing Quinn does when she gets home is to make sure to follow Rachel’s instructions on how to care for her hand. She wonders quickly how Rachel would know how to care for injuries when a horrible realisation hits her. The girl had probably had to learn from all the bullying she has experienced. She quickly takes a couple of Advil caplets and flexes her hand tentatively. She is glad the pain is mostly dulled by the ice and the painkillers will probably give her enough relief to finish her homework. She should be ok doing her homework, which she is glad isn’t the usual pile and it’s mostly just assigned reading. At least her teachers are smart enough to realise that everyone’s mind is on the extra long weekend that’s coming and it would be a monumental waste of time to assign a lot of extra work. It would be a bitch having to write or type with her hand like that. At least it doesn’t seem broken. It’s not as if she can just go to her teachers and tell them she can’t get her assignments completed because she busted her hand punching her ex-boyfriend. She chuckles as she imagines the looks she’d get with that confession.
Quinn looks at the clock on the microwave and sighs. It’ll be another hour before her mom makes it home. She is thankful she is back, and even more that her mom is trying to fix their relationship. It takes a bit of getting used to the sudden change Judy Fabray has gone through. The woman is no longer an absentee mom wanting to protect her reputation. She no longer drowns her sorrows in a glass full of vodka hidden with a few splashes of orange juice. Judy Fabray has been sober for a year. She now takes an open interest in everything Quinn is involved.
It was excruciatingly painful, but they managed to talk openly about the mistakes they both made that led to Quinn’s pregnancy, and everything that happened since. It wasn’t a blame fest, but an acknowledgement of where things went wrong and what they needed to do to fix them. It was touch and go for a while, because they needed to learn how to behave around each other again and work on Quinn’s trust issues that Judy wouldn’t just change her mind again and toss her out. They needed to re-establish the boundaries that exist between mother and daughter, but in the end, their hard work seems to be paying off in leaps and bounds. They have never been closer.
Quinn wonders what her mom will say and do once the older blonde discovers the injury to her hand. She wonders if she can keep her hand hidden and not look too suspicious as she heads to her bedroom to get out of the Cheerios uniform to start her homework.
Quinn is done with her homework by the time her mom arrives from volunteering at a call centre for troubled teens, something that Quinn still is getting used to.
“Quinnie, I’m home. Dinner will be on the table in five minutes.” Judy calls up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Coming, Mom.” Quinn replies as she makes her way to the kitchen.
They greet each other with a hug, and soon, Quinn is helping Judy get their dinner out of the take out containers.
“Quinn, what happened to your hand?” Judy asks the second she notices slight swelling, and the bruising that is beginning to form on her daughter’s knuckles.
“I, uh, kinda punched Sam in the face earlier.” Quinn admits.
“You did what!?” Judy asks, voice rising slightly, causing Quinn to wince slightly.
Soon enough, Quinn spills everything that has happened. She leaves nothing out, and as the tale continues, her shame grows as a look of disappointment appears on Judy’s face. She finally ends with how in the middle of their song, Sam had violently shoved Rachel and her subsequent reaction, which led to the first step to fix things with Rachel. By the end, Quinn is crying openly.
“Oh Quinnie. I’m so sorry.” Judy says once Quinn is done speaking.
“Huh? Why are you apologising, Mom?” Quinn asks confused. She expected to be grounded, or at the very least a big lecture on bullying and fighting.
“I can’t help to think that had your father and I been better parents and better people all around, you wouldn’t have learned to be a bully from us. I’m very proud that you’re working on making restitutions. Rachel seems like a remarkable girl, forgiving you after everything you have done to her.” Judy says, without pulling any punches. It just makes Quinn’s guilt and shame flare up like hot coals hit with a sudden burst of oxygen.
“She is. My actions weren’t your doing. I made the choice to be a bully. You had nothing to do with it.” Quinn admits quietly, looking at her half empty plate. It would have been so easy to shift responsibility, but deep down inside, she knows it was all her.
“You’re right that it was your choice, and you’re still responsible for your actions, but I’m also right in saying that it was partly our fault. Your father and I have been bullies in one way or another to you, your sister, and so many others. We just learn to hide it better as adults. You learned that behaviour from us, just as I’m sure Rachel learned her forgiving nature from her parents.” Judy replies with a sad smile. How ironic, that the girl with two fathers, a family condemned as immoral, can personify everything that a good Catholic should be, while they, the devout Catholics are nothing more than lying hypocrites.
“Please don’t blame yourself Mom. It isn’t your fault at all.” Quinn says.
“Studies have shown that we learn a lot of our behaviour and personality traits from those around us by the time we’re five. Had we set a better example, you would have had a better foundation to build upon. I’m glad you realised you needed to change for the better while still a teenager, instead of in your forties, like me. I’m also very proud that you are taking full responsibilities for your actions, instead of placing the blame on others. Just promise me, no more fighting.” Judy counters.
“What? You’re not grounding me?” Quinn blurts out surprised, expecting her mom to ground her until she’s college bound.
Judy smirks at that. “No, unless you really want me to. Seriously, what do you think we’ll accomplish if I were to ground you for actions you’re already feeling bad for? You already made the move to atone for your actions on your own, and the whole point of grounding you is to give you a chance to reflect on your actions and to realise that all actions have consequences. Seems to me you know that already. Now, if you were to continue to act like that, then we’re talking some serious grounding. I can overlook the fighting this time, because you were defending someone who needed it. I know you, and for you to physically assault someone, it must have been bad. Just don’t make a habit out of it.” Judy says slightly amused at her daughter’s reaction. She leaves out the part where she would have probably done worse than a broken nose, and Judy suddenly feels the familiar feeling of shame that comes with the realisation that she had allowed her husband to turn her into someone she can’t recognise. Still, she knows her role in it too.
Mother and daughter talk a bit more, making plans for Thanksgiving. They are both excited at the prospect that it will just the two of them and there won’t be stuffy relatives to impress, but they are also saddened at the fact that Fran, Quinn’s older sister and her family won’t be joining them. They make sure to plan a small meal so they won’t have so many leftovers to turn them off turkey for the coming months. Eventually, they both part company, since both have early mornings, one with work, the other with early Cheerios practice and school.
Quinn lies on her bed, staring at the bruises on her right hand, thinking about everything Rachel has said. Sue would never let them be anything less than perfect. Anyone who has ever held the title of Head Cheerio did so because it is deserved. Vocal Adrenaline is as close to perfection as well, their many consecutive National titles the perfect proof. She also knows that no one in Glee, other than Rachel could match them when it comes to talent and skill. Most, if not all of them are just as selfish and self-absorbed, if not more so than Rachel. When she takes into consideration their other extracurricular activities, the ones that can give them that much desired scholarship or college boost, they all want to be the centre of attention. They all want to shine.
They all justify their poor treatment of Rachel by saying the diva deserves it because she hogs all the solos. They pick on Rachel because she lacks a filter and just says whatever comes to her mind, or just because they find Rachel and her clothing choice annoying. They pick on Rachel because she is an easy target. The girl never retaliates. They pick on her because it makes them feel better. Thinking back to each and every occasion Rachel has said something hurtful, it has always been on someone’s singing, their lack of technique or lack of training, or how poor their performance was, but it was always spot on. Whoever was on the receiving end of one of Rachel’s rants would invariably have been sharp or off. She would then temper it with an offer to help them by offering her services as their voice coach. Something that they have all declined. Yet, their attacks on Rachel have always been personal and without provocation. Puck’s words haunt her. She realises that no matter what, Rachel is always back with a smile on her face. The discovery leaves a very sour taste in her mouth and the all familiar feeling of shame she hasn’t experienced since the truth about her baby’s paternity came out.
Quinn thinks about Mr. Schuester and his behaviour with them. He goes out of his way to praise the others, to tell them how special they are. The difference once again, is Rachel. He makes Rachel work ten times as hard, if not more, just to get a few lines in songs she could sing in her sleep, while the others struggle with them. Her blood begins to boil when she starts to see a clear picture of how everyone gets special treatment but Rachel. When Rachel makes a mistake, they all, including Schuester, jump down her throat, without giving the girl a chance to explain herself. When she manages to give her side of the story, no one believes her. They all think she has ulterior motives if she is nice. When they make a mistake, Schuester and the others go out the way to make sure everyone knows they are entitled to make mistakes. As long as they learn from them, then it’s no big deal. She also realises that Puck was right when he said Schuester would step in and call on Rachel’s behaviour but the others freely harassed her under his eyes and he did nothing. The perfect example was during their preparation for Sectionals and he had taken the solo from Rachel and Finn with no good reason. When the girl had tried to appeal to his sense of fairness, he flat out ignored her. When she tried to protest that, he chewed her out in front of everyone while the rest snickered and mumbled in agreement with Schuester. Through it all, Rachel has always been there to offer her friendship to whoever needs it, along with her willingness to assist in whatever way she can, only to be rejected time and again. The feeling of guilt slams her so hard; that she is sure would buckle her knees should she be standing.
Quinn is brought out of her thoughts by her phone. Once she recognises the ringtone, she hits the ‘mute’ feature. She is no mood to talk to anyone. She has never felt more disgusted with herself or her so called friends before. She remembers their last meeting of the year before the summer break. She remembers how everyone was in tears singing to Schuester thinking it was all over, singing their swan song. She remembers how they each admitted that Glee was something special. She recalls the announcement that against all odds, Figgins had decided to give them another chance. Rachel had been the happiest. She had launched herself to hug Schuester as if he was the best teacher in the world. The others had then joined her in her exuberance and had turned it into one big group hug. The thought makes her physically ill. When her phone continues to ring, she sets it to silent mode. A few tries later, the phone calls turn into text messages. Again, she ignores them. At this point, the only calls and texts she will answer would be Rachel’s and maybe Puck’s. The rest can jump into a volcano, an active one preferably. She would gladly shove them in, if she got the chance. Eventually, the callers give up and her phone stops vibrating. She quickly grabs it and turns the sounds back on and on impulse sends a text wishing Rachel good night. She smiles when the diva replies with her own wish for a restful slumber. She gets up and brushes her teeth and then the timer on her iPod dock to wake her up at six a.m. She has a six-thirty a.m. Cheerios practice.
* * *
Rachel goes out like a light and wakes up a few minutes before her iPod comes to life. Her internal clock very tuned to her daily routine. She is ready and out the door by six fifteen.
Their run is filled with their usual banter, and for someone like Rachel, who is a creature of habit, it’s a comforting thing, especially when taking into consideration the upheaval her life has taken recently. It’s a welcomed respite from reality, one Rachel needs like the oxygen she’s gulping in, and one Kelly is more than happy to provide. Kelly thinks back to what Rachel had said the night before, and she agrees with Rachel wholeheartedly. Their Little Robin was either born too late, or they were born too early.
* * *
Quinn’s sleep is anything but restful, she is bombarded by a replay of the last two years in very realistic dreams, only the roles are reversed. Rachel is the one doing all the taunting and tormenting. She is the one that gets the slushies. She is the one who is shoved into lockers by lesser Cheerios, all in the quest to gain favour with Dream Rachel. She is the one the jocks mock and poke fun at, again, in the hopes of impressing Dream Rachel and hopefully pass unscathed under her radar. Her dream self offers Dream Rachel her friendship, only to have the offer rebuffed by Dream Rachel telling her she would rather have a root canal without the benefit of anaesthetics, than be friends with Dream Quinn. She breathes a sigh of relief when her iPod goes off and she is finally pulled from the dreams, the last thing she remembers is the all too real feeling of humiliation and hurt that comes with rejection. She has never been happier to wake up early. Her subconscious wouldn’t even allow her to wake up.
Quinn marvels at Rachel’s forgiving nature and overall upbeat attitude. From her little foray into the bottom of the hierarchy ranks, she knows for a fact she doesn’t forgive and forget. She has made life a living hell for the jocks that dared slushy her. The Cheerios who dared made her life hell are now paying as well, always having to run extra laps and suicides until they threw up, only to have to do it all over again, no matter how tiny the infraction. She could have found countless reasons to have them kicked of the team, but then, she wouldn’t have the satisfaction of torturing them the way she has been since her re-instatement as captain.
Quinn manages to drag herself out of bed to get ready. She gets in her McKinley spandex tights, sports bra and long sleeve top. Today it’s one of their two cross training days, so no uniform until after practice. Her hair is in its flawless, mandatory high pony tail. She makes her way to the kitchen and in no time she prepares her recovery shake, along with some low fat granola, fresh fruit and a fat-free yogurt. Everything goes into an insulated lunch bag and into her Cheerios duffle bag. She arrives on the field with five minutes to spare. She smiles with satisfaction when she sees the rest already waiting for her and for Coach to arrive. They all snap to attention once they see her.
“All right everyone half hour run, then we stretch.” Quinn says quietly the second she is in hearing range. She refuses to raise her voice. Unlike Coach and her love for the bullhorn, Quinn revels in the power she has when the others have to keep quiet just to hear her speak, in fear of missing a word and then having to pay the consequences.
One look at the determined look on Quinn’s face and her body language tells the rest of the squad that pissing Quinn off will result in more than just extra laps and suicides. They do everything they are told with no complaint so even Sue Sylvester has a hard time finding something wrong with their overall performance. Quinn is given the ok to dismiss them fifteen minutes early if she wants. She has them run extra suicides to keep their reflexes sharp and extra laps around the track ‘to cool down properly’. When she finally dismisses them, they can all see the gleam of pride in Sue’s eyes at Quinn’s leadership and physical condition because their captain has done every single thing they have while giving them instructions and she still looks as fresh as a daisy. They bite their tongues.
While she showers, Quinn contemplates how practice went. She truly seeks perfection from every single member of the squad, even when they’re cross training and not doing any of their routines. Anything else is unacceptable. Once again, Rachel’s words are in a loop in her brain. She sighs at her own double standards, not just the ones the rest of Glee have.
When she is dressed in her uniform, she grabs her things and leaves the locker room after she makes sure the Cheerios who are still paying for their indiscretion last year collect all the dirty towels and have them ready for the cleaning service.
* * *
Instead of going somewhere for breakfast, Rachel and Kelly end up eating at the Rileys’. Rachel is nearly bowled over by an over excited Fusilli. They all laugh at the tiny girl pinned to a wall by the affectionate dog.
“Fusilli, down!” Christine, Kelly and Alex’s mom says in a firm voice and the Rottweiler mix is immediately sitting obediently by her side. “You know this wouldn’t happen if you came to visit more. That dog just adores you.” She adds with a smile, as the other three laugh at Rachel’s dishevelled appearance.
Breakfast is a blur of jokes and a quick update and a promise of a more thorough discussion for dinner.
The drive to McKinley is filled with their usual arguments of what music to hear, with Rachel winning after one well placed pout.
“That pout won’t always work. We’ve been away for too long so our resistance to it is down, but within a day, you won’t get away with it.” Gabe mumbles, knowing that statement is the furthest thing from the truth. The other three in the car laugh at the absurdity of that comment.
“Want us to drop by for lunch?” Kelly asks once they pull over by McKinley’s front entrance.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just go to the auditorium or something to get some extra practice. You had a pretty long drive back, so take the extra time to get some rest. Besides, you also have friends your age you need see. I’ll see you all after school.” Rachel says as she gets out of the car.
Soon, all three college students follow suit, each giving the little diva a hug and a kiss. They only get back in the car and drive off after Rachel disappears through the double doors.
Rachel puts on her earbuds and turns on her iPod. The biggest torture in her eyes is to endure classes without her music. She is so absorbed in whatever she is listening to, she fails to notice Puck making his way to her. She lets out a squeal of surprise once she feels hands around her hips lifting her and twirling her around the hallway.
“Hey Rachel.” Puck says as he lowers her back on solid ground.
“Good morning Noah. To what do I owe the exuberance of your greeting this morning?” Rachel asks after she pulls the earbuds out and turns off her iPod.
“Just happy to see you. Come on, I’ll walk you to homeroom.” Puck says with a charming smile as he offers Rachel his left arm.
“Lead the way.” Rachel says giggling as she takes his arm.
They walk to Rachel’s homeroom smiling and talking about music, ignoring the looks they still get, even after a month of them hanging out together. ‘They call me a loser and a freak, yet they can’t seem to stop obsessing about my life.’ Rachel thinks as she shakes her head.
“Thank you so much for being such a gentleman, Noah.” Rachel says as they reach the door to her homeroom and placing a kiss on his cheek.
“You’re gonna kill my rep if you keep saying sh…crap like that.” Puck says blushing.
“Only you would think being called a gentleman is a bad thing.” Rachel scoffs playfully.
“I’m a badass through and through.” Puck says wriggling his eyebrows suggestively at her. “Later, Babe.” Puck adds before Rachel can call him a pig or something similar, although knowing Rachel, it would probably be something with a lot of words.
Rachel walks into homeroom and slowly makes her way to her usual desk.
“Good morning Rachel.” Quinn says with a smile, causing Rachel to jump slightly.
“Uh, Good morning Quinn.” Rachel replies returning she smile, albeit a bit reluctant. She had never expected for Quinn to openly talk to her in such a friendly manner in front of others.
Quinn’s smile falters a bit once she sees the shock in Rachel’s face. She knows she should have expected something like that. After all, it was only as recently as Sectionals over the weekend when Quinn was being anything but nice to the diva. It stings to see Rachel so at ease with Puck, but so guarded around her.
The rest of the students there stare back and forth between Quinn and Rachel during their exchange, but it was so fast, that they are now convinced they were hallucinating.
When all announcements are done, their teacher dismisses them a few minutes early. Rachel walks out of homeroom as fast as she can without walking into someone. Quinn is a bit disappointed that the diva just bolted from homeroom.
The rest of the morning is spent in similar fashion. Quinn is always the one who greets Rachel warmly. Rachel would in turn smile shyly but never saying a word, or be the one to initiate anything. Rachel would then walk away as fast as her legs could carry her, without actually breaking into a run. ‘At least she’s smiling back, even if she’s not talking to me.’ Quinn thinks as she goes to her locker to dump her books and grab her lunch. She is brought out of her musings when she catches Rachel walk away, tears threatening to fall. Quinn turns to face the direction Rachel came from, and shakes her head in disbelief. Finn is openly flirting with Santana, while the Latina fawns over him. It makes her blood boil, so on impulse she stalks over to them.
“You’re such a hypocrite, Finn. No wonder Rachel dumped your sorry ass.” Quinn says loud enough for those around them to hear clearly. All conversation stops, and the hallway is filled with complete silence. Every single student turns to stare at Finn. She walks away with a satisfied smile in search of Rachel.
Quinn makes a beeline for the auditorium, remembering that’s where Rachel went after her break-up and confrontation with Finn. Before she makes it all the way, she once again hears music filtering out to the hallway. Unlike yesterday, it’s only a faint melody with no accompanying lyrics. She opens the door as gently as possible, not wanting to startle Rachel, and in the hope that the little diva will sing something.
Quinn is about to let her presence be known when Rachel starts another tune and soon, her voice fills the auditorium.
Long ago
In someone else’s lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that’s where she would be
Lately
Although the feelings run just as deep
The promise she made has grown impossible to keep
And yet I wish it wasn’t so
Will he miss me if I go?
Quinn can see the faint track of tears and she feels her heart squeeze in sympathy.
In a way
It’s someone else’s story
I don’t see myself
As taking part at all
Yesterday
The girl that I was fond of
Finally could see
The writing on the wall
Sadly
She realized she’d left him behind
And sadder than that she knew he wouldn’t even mind
And though there’s nothing left to say
Would he listen if I stay?
As the song continues, Quinn nearly groans because it sounds as if Rachel is second guessing her decision and regretting dumping the man-child. She feels inexplicably angry at the prospect of Rachel and Finn getting back together. The girl deserves so much more.
It’s all very well to say you fool it’s now or never
I could be choosing
No choices whatsoever.
I could be
In someone else’s story
In someone else’s life
And he could be in mine
I don’t see
A reason to be lonely
I could take my chances
Further down the line
And if
That girl I knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn’t hesitate she needn’t ask me twice
Go now!
I’d tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me.
Quinn refrains from jumping to conclusions. Instead, the moment the last note of the song fades away, the blonde makes her way to Rachel.
If Rachel is surprised to see her, the diva doesn’t show it. Quinn is greeted with a small wave and a sad smile. Quinn smiles happily once she realises it’s the first greeting initiated by the diva.
“He’s not worth it, you know. You’re not regretting your decision, are you?” Quinn says as she joins Rachel on the piano bench.
“I know he’s not, and no, I’m not getting back with him anytime soon. I meant everything I said yesterday. It just hurts to see him move on so fast. It’s like I never existed. As much as I’d love to just kick him permanently off my heart, I still care for him. I know he’s not good for me. I need my heart and my head on the same page. Singing usually helps.” Rachel answers, not even pretending to be shocked that Quinn and the others overheard her entire conversation yesterday.
Quinn smiles at that. She is actually relieved. “Good, because you definitely deserve more than that simpleton.” Quinn says.
“You do realise that you dated him as well, correct? Or did you fall off while dismounting from the pyramid and hit your head, causing a slight case of amnesia?” Rachel says, a small smile gracing her face.
“Haha. Very funny. I have the right to call him whatever I wish because I had the misfortune of falling in the trap of dating him, dating the image and the security he was supposed to provide.” Quinn confesses.
“I guess we both liked the image that went with dating the school’s quarterback, but only I was stupid enough to fall for him.” Rachel says with a shrug.
“No, you’re not stupid. We have no control over who we love. Cliché, but true. On the upside, you’re smart enough to get out of a destructive relationship before it’s too late. That takes courage.” Quinn says.
“Thanks Quinn.” Rachel says with a genuine smile.
“Why were you avoiding me earlier?” Quinn blurts out.
“I wasn’t.” Rachel replies.
“It sure could have fooled me.” Quinn says, her hurt feelings evident in her tone of voice.
“I didn’t want to make things hard for you by being seen with me. You just got your popularity back and I’m not sure if it will endure being seen with me in public.” Rachel says with a self-deprecating smile.
Quinn never expected that answer. “What makes you think something will happen?” Quinn asks.
“After you greeted me in homeroom, I saw the looks and heard the whispers. They all wondered if you a)Lost a bet. b)Hit your head and were suffering from a concussion. Or c)Are setting me up for something epic. We might not be friends yet, but I would never wish how I’m treated on anyone.” Rachel answers, looking straight into hazel eyes.
If anything, those words make Quinn feel even worse. She is only aware she’s crying when she feels Rachel’s thumbs softly wiping away her tears.
“Don’t worry about that. I offered you my friendship with no strings attached. That means I won’t hide behind the walls of the choir room. I’ll talk to you if and when I wish. I once told Sam what was the use of popularity if it meant not being able to do what one wanted. You let me worry about the sheep.” Quinn says.
Rachel nods, fighting her own tears.
They spend the rest of their lunch period learning about each other. They reluctantly get up when it’s time to go. The rest of McKinley collectively looks around for the Four Horsemen when they see Quinn and Rachel walking out of the auditorium laughing and smiling.
TBC...
Chap. 4
Title: Sometimes (I Wish)
Author: jt4702(JT)
Chapter 3
Rachel calls Alex and they set up a conference call with the other two the moment the front door is closed. Rachel goes into a detailed explanation of what happened once they left.
“I knew we should have stayed. Then that little punk wouldn’t have dared.” Gabe fumes.
“It’s ok. Quinn caught me just before I fell, and then she and Noah stood up for me.” Rachel tells them again, still having a hard believing that Quinn Fabray would actually come to her defence.
“I don’t trust her.” Kelly says once Rachel is done.
“I have my doubts, but I saw the look in her eyes. I’m willing to give her another chance, just like I did with Noah.” Rachel says.
“How many more chances will you give them, Little Robin? On the upside, at least you dumped the big troll’s ass.” Gabe says.
“Gabe! That wasn’t nice.” Rachel exclaims.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t insult poor, innocent trolls.” Gabe retorts, causing everyone to laugh.
“You’re hopeless. You don’t even know him.” Rachel finally says in between giggles.
“Not through fault of our own. We tried, but the dimwitted, crusty botch of nature decided to act like an overgrown toddler the one time we met. Needless to say, the impression he left wasn’t a good one.” Gabe continues.
“You’re the hopeless one. What are you doing defending that spineless moron?” Kelly cuts in.
“Well, to be fair, you’ve only met Finn once. Since then, you’ve heard nothing by my complaints and…” Rachel starts to say only to be interrupted again.
“His own doing Rach. If he was worth our time, his actions wouldn’t prompt that many complaints from you. I’d rather shave a hungry, rabid lion with a rusty and dull razor, rather than willingly spend a second with that spineless, self-serving asshole. I can’t speak for Alex and Gabe, but I really don’t feel like knowing the rest either. If they can’t see how great you are, they’re not worth my time.” Kelly says, her quick temper getting the better of her again.
“Us too.” The boys reply in unison.
“I really love you for your undying support, but I need to believe that there is some good in at least a few of them. Otherwise, I’ll end up taking Fusilli to school and accidentally release him from his leash. Noah has been so good to me for the past month.” Rachel interjects.
“That might not be such a bad idea.” Gabe grumbles.
“I won’t deny that, but for how long? And, what’s in it for him this time? Is he trying to get into your pants again?” Kelly adds, harsher than intended.
“I’d like to think that this time, there is no time limit. Need I remind you that he also couldn’t go through with my stupid plan to get even? I know you care, but please, lay off a bit. It would be nice to have someone in that miserable school to call a friend.” Rachel says, voice cracking a bit.
“Way to go, Sis.” Alex mutters darkly to his sister. “We’re sorry. She means well, Little Robin. We’ve seen them hurt you so many times that we tend to get a bit overzealous when it comes to keeping you safe.” Alex says in a much softer voice.
“I’m sorry Rach. Alex is right. That was really fucked up of me. Please forgive me.” Kelly says regretfully.
“Language Kel, and of course I forgive you. I understand how you feel, but Noah’s company has been one of the few things keeping me sane. I’d like to think that this time is real.” Rachel confesses.
“We know. We’ll trust you, but we reserve the right to kick his ass if he breaks your heart again. Deal?” Alex says.
“I appreciate the trust, but no rear kicking. I will not have you arrested for assault because of me.” Rachel says, her smile apparent in her voice. “I can always invite him to join us at the coffee house on Friday. That way you can get to know him in a setting that’s to our advantage.” Rachel suggests.
“Are you sure you want him there? We could meet elsewhere.” Alex asks.
“Yes. I want a fairly neutral place where I’m comfortable. It’s also a public location. He has a temper, and so do the three of you. Besides, it’s a moot point now, since they already saw me and heard me play and sing with you guys.” Rachel says.
“Sorry about that. I know you wanted to keep that private, though I don’t see why. You’re a truly talented musician in every sense of the word, yet those witless boors you go to school with think you sleep, breathe, eat and drink show tunes only, when your knowledge of music encyclopaedic.” Gabe mutters.
“Just like I never understood the need for parents to lie to their children about there being a large obese man dressed in a red suit lined with white fur who delivers presents to those who are deemed good, only to shatter their trust by telling them it was nothing but a big elaborate lie to get them to behave.” Rachel quips.
“We’re not going into that debate again. It’s not the same.” Kelly warns, feeling a headache forming already.
“What?” Rachel and Gabe ask in unison.
“I was just giving an example of a behaviour I don’t understand when Gabe pointed one he doesn’t.” Rachel adds innocently.
“Knock it off Rach. I can see the faux-innocent face with the big doe eyes. The only thing missing is a fake halo hovering over your head and background harp music.” Kelly adds.
“Ruin my fun, why don’t you.” Rachel grumbles good naturedly.
“Stop trying to change the subject. I get your plan. Ask him to join us this Friday if you wish, but he meets us there and we’re the ones driving you there. I know we can carpool and all that sh… crap, but I’m not budging on this. This way if things don’t work out, he has a way to go home and not be stranded in Columbus.” Alex says, anticipating Rachel’s rant about trust and the environment.
“Fine. I will admit that you have made some very good points. Thank you for trying.” Rachel says.
“What about Malibu Barbie?” Kelly asks.
“You mean Quinn?” Rachel asks, already cringing at the mental image of Quinn’s reaction should Kelly call her that to her face.
“Yes, her. Will she join us on Friday as well?” Kelly says, clearly not liking the idea.
“I honestly don’t know. I guess it depends on how things progress these next few days. She seemed sincere, and I would like to have more than one friend in school. I’ll do my best to be careful.” Rachel says. They are all thinking about every single failed relationship the diva has had since her freshman year at McKinley, be it platonic or not.
“That’s all we ask. We just hate to see you get your hopes up only to get them crushed and you end up hurt again.” Alex says before his hot-headed sister can put her foot in her mouth again.
“I know. I swear I was born too late, or you guys were born too early.” Rachel says.
“Yeah, we know. By the way, Mom says you’re coming to dinner tomorrow night. I’m to pick you up from school and drive you here so don’t drive to school tomorrow. We’re taking you to breakfast and then we’ll drop you off. Don’t forget to bring an overnight bag because we have tons to catch up on.” Alex says in a sing-song voice.
“No you won’t. Rachel and I will be picking you and Gabe up because I’ll be driving over to Rachel’s for a run. Unless of course you guys want to join us.” Kelly says, smile evident in her voice.
“Nope, you and Rachel can run ‘til the cows come home. Just come and get us when you’re ready.” Gabe answers, already cringing at the thought of getting up that early.
“Will do.” Rachel replies ecstatic. “As much as it pains me to cut this short, I still need to take care of today’s assignments and think of something for dinner. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Rachel adds.
“Take care Little Robin. Call if you need anything.” Gabe says before he disconnects.
“See you tomorrow bright and early for our run.” Kelly says as she disconnects.
“We’ll talk tomorrow. I love you, Little Robin.” Alex says with affection.
“I love you too. Alex.” Rachel says as she disconnects from the call.
Rachel makes her way to the kitchen and makes herself a Portobello mushroom and vegetable wrap. She pulls out a container of split pea soup from the freezer to reheat. She takes her meal to her room where she tackles her homework and required reading. She is startled by Puck’s ringtone filling the air.
“Hello Noah. How was community service?” Rachel greets with a smile, even though Puck can’t see it.
“Done, thank God. I’m on probation for the next six months. I can’t get in any kind of trouble, or I’m back in juvie. It sucks.” Puck complains.
“It could be worse, and you know it. Besides, it’s entirely your fault for pulling that stupid stunt with the ATM. And all because of some stupid dare from your Neanderthal teammates.” Rachel chastises for what feels like the millionth time.
“Yeah, well, don’t give me any more grief over it please. My mom is bad enough with all her Jewish guilt. I can’t take it coming from you as well.” Puck grumbles.
“I’m sorry Noah. I don’t like that you nearly threw your future away because of peer pressure. You’re lucky you’re underage and this was your official first offense on record, because by the time you’re eighteen they’ll expunge your criminal record.” Rachel adds softly, disappointment and concern evident in her voice.
“I know… Why didn’t you tell me you could play the piano that well? We could have done some killer duets with you on the piano and me on the guitar. We could’ve owned Glee.” Puck asks, changing subjects and putting the spotlight on Rachel and away from him. All his life he has done stupid impulsive things. He hates to be reminded of them or the possible outcomes, especially from someone he cares about, so he shifts the attention to someone or something else.
“I know what you’re doing, and I’ll let it go for now, but not before reminding you that you’re not a ‘Lima Loser’. You just make the wrong choices for the wrong reasons because you act before you think.” Rachel says, knowing how hard it is to always have negative things thrown in your face. “Piano playing never really came up and by the time it mattered, no one would have listened to me. Besides, it’s not like the rest don’t have enough reasons to hate me. Why would I have given them even more?” Rachel replies.
“They’re just jealous.” Puck says.
“I know. Still doesn’t mean I have to like how I’m treated. The fact that I can play an instrument doesn’t really help us much. You play guitar, yet it’s hardly something that matters when it comes to the numbers we do for competition.” Rachel replies.
“Perhaps, but your skills in arranging a piece of music in a few minutes are.” Puck counters.
Rachel’s eyes open wide in surprise. Just how long were New Directions watching them? “How do you know that?” Rachel blurts out without thinking.
“We caught half of ‘burning in the skies’. Then we heard you talk to your friends as you guys were working on the arrangements for ‘waiting for the end’. You’d be amazed at how well sound carries in that auditorium.” Puck says. “Why haven’t you used those mad skills to our advantage?” Puck asks, knowing the answer already, not really sure why he even bothers.
“Alex said something about the acoustics as well. Do you really need to ask me that? Do you think the others would have listened to me? Do you think you would have listened to anything I had to say two months ago?” Rachel asks, sounding a bit harsher than intended.
Puck actually recoils at the words. He doesn’t say anything because what right does he have to get pissed off or to feel bad, when he has been making the girl’s life impossible for nearly two years? “What were you doing before I called?” He asks, changing subjects again.
“I’m sorry Noah. I need to watch what I say. I shouldn’t let my insecurities get the better of me. You have been wonderful to me this past month and you didn’t deserve that. I said I was letting go of the past, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.” Rachel says. “I was just finishing my homework. Have you done yours?” She adds.
Puck is left speechless for a moment. He still needs to get used to how perceptive of others Rachel is. Perhaps the girl is right in saying she has a sixth sense. “No, I haven’t.” He finally replies. “Don’t apologise, Berry. I deserve that and much more. Don’t let me, or the others off the hook so easily because it just makes it easier for us to treat you like shit. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself against us. We don’t deserve your sympathy.” Puck says feeling bad. “I’m sorry for asking Rachel. That was really stupid of me.” Puck mumbles in the phone. He’s still not used to apologising, but if there is one person in this town who deserves it from him, it’s Rachel. “Anyway, I need to jet. I gotta go check on the brat.” Puck adds.
“Okay. Have a good night Noah.” Rachel says, still trying to get used to the dynamics of their developing relationship. “Go do your homework.” Rachel then says in a tone of voice eerily similar to the one his mom uses when she’s telling his little sister she needs to do something she doesn’t like, making him roll his eyes at her
“And don’t roll your eyes at me Noah.” Rachel adds.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, Berry.” Puck mumbles, never admitting he was rolling his eyes, but annoyed she called him on it.
“See you tomorrow Noah.” Rachel says amused and she disconnects the call without giving him a chance to come up with some smart ass remark. When all else fails, go back to what works, banter with him.
Rachel’s dads arrive a few minutes after her talk with Puck. They talk about their respective days. Both men are ecstatic when they find out Rachel finally stood up for herself where Finn was concerned. As expected, they’re cautious of Quinn’s sudden change in attitude, but are willing to give the blonde a chance to prove herself, just like they did with Puck. Both men are proud of Rachel’s forgiving nature, yet, they can’t help but wonder if maybe she is a little too forgiving. Still, a forgiving girl who always sees the best in people first is definitely preferable to a sullen, jaded, and cynical girl. They tell her how proud they are of her and they go their separate ways.
By the time Rachel goes to bed, she feels lighter than she has felt in quite some time. She even gets a quick text from Quinn wishing her a good night. She quickly replies and turns on the timer on her iPod dock for her usual six a.m. wake up call.
* * *
The first thing Quinn does when she gets home is to make sure to follow Rachel’s instructions on how to care for her hand. She wonders quickly how Rachel would know how to care for injuries when a horrible realisation hits her. The girl had probably had to learn from all the bullying she has experienced. She quickly takes a couple of Advil caplets and flexes her hand tentatively. She is glad the pain is mostly dulled by the ice and the painkillers will probably give her enough relief to finish her homework. She should be ok doing her homework, which she is glad isn’t the usual pile and it’s mostly just assigned reading. At least her teachers are smart enough to realise that everyone’s mind is on the extra long weekend that’s coming and it would be a monumental waste of time to assign a lot of extra work. It would be a bitch having to write or type with her hand like that. At least it doesn’t seem broken. It’s not as if she can just go to her teachers and tell them she can’t get her assignments completed because she busted her hand punching her ex-boyfriend. She chuckles as she imagines the looks she’d get with that confession.
Quinn looks at the clock on the microwave and sighs. It’ll be another hour before her mom makes it home. She is thankful she is back, and even more that her mom is trying to fix their relationship. It takes a bit of getting used to the sudden change Judy Fabray has gone through. The woman is no longer an absentee mom wanting to protect her reputation. She no longer drowns her sorrows in a glass full of vodka hidden with a few splashes of orange juice. Judy Fabray has been sober for a year. She now takes an open interest in everything Quinn is involved.
It was excruciatingly painful, but they managed to talk openly about the mistakes they both made that led to Quinn’s pregnancy, and everything that happened since. It wasn’t a blame fest, but an acknowledgement of where things went wrong and what they needed to do to fix them. It was touch and go for a while, because they needed to learn how to behave around each other again and work on Quinn’s trust issues that Judy wouldn’t just change her mind again and toss her out. They needed to re-establish the boundaries that exist between mother and daughter, but in the end, their hard work seems to be paying off in leaps and bounds. They have never been closer.
Quinn wonders what her mom will say and do once the older blonde discovers the injury to her hand. She wonders if she can keep her hand hidden and not look too suspicious as she heads to her bedroom to get out of the Cheerios uniform to start her homework.
Quinn is done with her homework by the time her mom arrives from volunteering at a call centre for troubled teens, something that Quinn still is getting used to.
“Quinnie, I’m home. Dinner will be on the table in five minutes.” Judy calls up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Coming, Mom.” Quinn replies as she makes her way to the kitchen.
They greet each other with a hug, and soon, Quinn is helping Judy get their dinner out of the take out containers.
“Quinn, what happened to your hand?” Judy asks the second she notices slight swelling, and the bruising that is beginning to form on her daughter’s knuckles.
“I, uh, kinda punched Sam in the face earlier.” Quinn admits.
“You did what!?” Judy asks, voice rising slightly, causing Quinn to wince slightly.
Soon enough, Quinn spills everything that has happened. She leaves nothing out, and as the tale continues, her shame grows as a look of disappointment appears on Judy’s face. She finally ends with how in the middle of their song, Sam had violently shoved Rachel and her subsequent reaction, which led to the first step to fix things with Rachel. By the end, Quinn is crying openly.
“Oh Quinnie. I’m so sorry.” Judy says once Quinn is done speaking.
“Huh? Why are you apologising, Mom?” Quinn asks confused. She expected to be grounded, or at the very least a big lecture on bullying and fighting.
“I can’t help to think that had your father and I been better parents and better people all around, you wouldn’t have learned to be a bully from us. I’m very proud that you’re working on making restitutions. Rachel seems like a remarkable girl, forgiving you after everything you have done to her.” Judy says, without pulling any punches. It just makes Quinn’s guilt and shame flare up like hot coals hit with a sudden burst of oxygen.
“She is. My actions weren’t your doing. I made the choice to be a bully. You had nothing to do with it.” Quinn admits quietly, looking at her half empty plate. It would have been so easy to shift responsibility, but deep down inside, she knows it was all her.
“You’re right that it was your choice, and you’re still responsible for your actions, but I’m also right in saying that it was partly our fault. Your father and I have been bullies in one way or another to you, your sister, and so many others. We just learn to hide it better as adults. You learned that behaviour from us, just as I’m sure Rachel learned her forgiving nature from her parents.” Judy replies with a sad smile. How ironic, that the girl with two fathers, a family condemned as immoral, can personify everything that a good Catholic should be, while they, the devout Catholics are nothing more than lying hypocrites.
“Please don’t blame yourself Mom. It isn’t your fault at all.” Quinn says.
“Studies have shown that we learn a lot of our behaviour and personality traits from those around us by the time we’re five. Had we set a better example, you would have had a better foundation to build upon. I’m glad you realised you needed to change for the better while still a teenager, instead of in your forties, like me. I’m also very proud that you are taking full responsibilities for your actions, instead of placing the blame on others. Just promise me, no more fighting.” Judy counters.
“What? You’re not grounding me?” Quinn blurts out surprised, expecting her mom to ground her until she’s college bound.
Judy smirks at that. “No, unless you really want me to. Seriously, what do you think we’ll accomplish if I were to ground you for actions you’re already feeling bad for? You already made the move to atone for your actions on your own, and the whole point of grounding you is to give you a chance to reflect on your actions and to realise that all actions have consequences. Seems to me you know that already. Now, if you were to continue to act like that, then we’re talking some serious grounding. I can overlook the fighting this time, because you were defending someone who needed it. I know you, and for you to physically assault someone, it must have been bad. Just don’t make a habit out of it.” Judy says slightly amused at her daughter’s reaction. She leaves out the part where she would have probably done worse than a broken nose, and Judy suddenly feels the familiar feeling of shame that comes with the realisation that she had allowed her husband to turn her into someone she can’t recognise. Still, she knows her role in it too.
Mother and daughter talk a bit more, making plans for Thanksgiving. They are both excited at the prospect that it will just the two of them and there won’t be stuffy relatives to impress, but they are also saddened at the fact that Fran, Quinn’s older sister and her family won’t be joining them. They make sure to plan a small meal so they won’t have so many leftovers to turn them off turkey for the coming months. Eventually, they both part company, since both have early mornings, one with work, the other with early Cheerios practice and school.
Quinn lies on her bed, staring at the bruises on her right hand, thinking about everything Rachel has said. Sue would never let them be anything less than perfect. Anyone who has ever held the title of Head Cheerio did so because it is deserved. Vocal Adrenaline is as close to perfection as well, their many consecutive National titles the perfect proof. She also knows that no one in Glee, other than Rachel could match them when it comes to talent and skill. Most, if not all of them are just as selfish and self-absorbed, if not more so than Rachel. When she takes into consideration their other extracurricular activities, the ones that can give them that much desired scholarship or college boost, they all want to be the centre of attention. They all want to shine.
They all justify their poor treatment of Rachel by saying the diva deserves it because she hogs all the solos. They pick on Rachel because she lacks a filter and just says whatever comes to her mind, or just because they find Rachel and her clothing choice annoying. They pick on Rachel because she is an easy target. The girl never retaliates. They pick on her because it makes them feel better. Thinking back to each and every occasion Rachel has said something hurtful, it has always been on someone’s singing, their lack of technique or lack of training, or how poor their performance was, but it was always spot on. Whoever was on the receiving end of one of Rachel’s rants would invariably have been sharp or off. She would then temper it with an offer to help them by offering her services as their voice coach. Something that they have all declined. Yet, their attacks on Rachel have always been personal and without provocation. Puck’s words haunt her. She realises that no matter what, Rachel is always back with a smile on her face. The discovery leaves a very sour taste in her mouth and the all familiar feeling of shame she hasn’t experienced since the truth about her baby’s paternity came out.
Quinn thinks about Mr. Schuester and his behaviour with them. He goes out of his way to praise the others, to tell them how special they are. The difference once again, is Rachel. He makes Rachel work ten times as hard, if not more, just to get a few lines in songs she could sing in her sleep, while the others struggle with them. Her blood begins to boil when she starts to see a clear picture of how everyone gets special treatment but Rachel. When Rachel makes a mistake, they all, including Schuester, jump down her throat, without giving the girl a chance to explain herself. When she manages to give her side of the story, no one believes her. They all think she has ulterior motives if she is nice. When they make a mistake, Schuester and the others go out the way to make sure everyone knows they are entitled to make mistakes. As long as they learn from them, then it’s no big deal. She also realises that Puck was right when he said Schuester would step in and call on Rachel’s behaviour but the others freely harassed her under his eyes and he did nothing. The perfect example was during their preparation for Sectionals and he had taken the solo from Rachel and Finn with no good reason. When the girl had tried to appeal to his sense of fairness, he flat out ignored her. When she tried to protest that, he chewed her out in front of everyone while the rest snickered and mumbled in agreement with Schuester. Through it all, Rachel has always been there to offer her friendship to whoever needs it, along with her willingness to assist in whatever way she can, only to be rejected time and again. The feeling of guilt slams her so hard; that she is sure would buckle her knees should she be standing.
Quinn is brought out of her thoughts by her phone. Once she recognises the ringtone, she hits the ‘mute’ feature. She is no mood to talk to anyone. She has never felt more disgusted with herself or her so called friends before. She remembers their last meeting of the year before the summer break. She remembers how everyone was in tears singing to Schuester thinking it was all over, singing their swan song. She remembers how they each admitted that Glee was something special. She recalls the announcement that against all odds, Figgins had decided to give them another chance. Rachel had been the happiest. She had launched herself to hug Schuester as if he was the best teacher in the world. The others had then joined her in her exuberance and had turned it into one big group hug. The thought makes her physically ill. When her phone continues to ring, she sets it to silent mode. A few tries later, the phone calls turn into text messages. Again, she ignores them. At this point, the only calls and texts she will answer would be Rachel’s and maybe Puck’s. The rest can jump into a volcano, an active one preferably. She would gladly shove them in, if she got the chance. Eventually, the callers give up and her phone stops vibrating. She quickly grabs it and turns the sounds back on and on impulse sends a text wishing Rachel good night. She smiles when the diva replies with her own wish for a restful slumber. She gets up and brushes her teeth and then the timer on her iPod dock to wake her up at six a.m. She has a six-thirty a.m. Cheerios practice.
* * *
Rachel goes out like a light and wakes up a few minutes before her iPod comes to life. Her internal clock very tuned to her daily routine. She is ready and out the door by six fifteen.
Their run is filled with their usual banter, and for someone like Rachel, who is a creature of habit, it’s a comforting thing, especially when taking into consideration the upheaval her life has taken recently. It’s a welcomed respite from reality, one Rachel needs like the oxygen she’s gulping in, and one Kelly is more than happy to provide. Kelly thinks back to what Rachel had said the night before, and she agrees with Rachel wholeheartedly. Their Little Robin was either born too late, or they were born too early.
* * *
Quinn’s sleep is anything but restful, she is bombarded by a replay of the last two years in very realistic dreams, only the roles are reversed. Rachel is the one doing all the taunting and tormenting. She is the one that gets the slushies. She is the one who is shoved into lockers by lesser Cheerios, all in the quest to gain favour with Dream Rachel. She is the one the jocks mock and poke fun at, again, in the hopes of impressing Dream Rachel and hopefully pass unscathed under her radar. Her dream self offers Dream Rachel her friendship, only to have the offer rebuffed by Dream Rachel telling her she would rather have a root canal without the benefit of anaesthetics, than be friends with Dream Quinn. She breathes a sigh of relief when her iPod goes off and she is finally pulled from the dreams, the last thing she remembers is the all too real feeling of humiliation and hurt that comes with rejection. She has never been happier to wake up early. Her subconscious wouldn’t even allow her to wake up.
Quinn marvels at Rachel’s forgiving nature and overall upbeat attitude. From her little foray into the bottom of the hierarchy ranks, she knows for a fact she doesn’t forgive and forget. She has made life a living hell for the jocks that dared slushy her. The Cheerios who dared made her life hell are now paying as well, always having to run extra laps and suicides until they threw up, only to have to do it all over again, no matter how tiny the infraction. She could have found countless reasons to have them kicked of the team, but then, she wouldn’t have the satisfaction of torturing them the way she has been since her re-instatement as captain.
Quinn manages to drag herself out of bed to get ready. She gets in her McKinley spandex tights, sports bra and long sleeve top. Today it’s one of their two cross training days, so no uniform until after practice. Her hair is in its flawless, mandatory high pony tail. She makes her way to the kitchen and in no time she prepares her recovery shake, along with some low fat granola, fresh fruit and a fat-free yogurt. Everything goes into an insulated lunch bag and into her Cheerios duffle bag. She arrives on the field with five minutes to spare. She smiles with satisfaction when she sees the rest already waiting for her and for Coach to arrive. They all snap to attention once they see her.
“All right everyone half hour run, then we stretch.” Quinn says quietly the second she is in hearing range. She refuses to raise her voice. Unlike Coach and her love for the bullhorn, Quinn revels in the power she has when the others have to keep quiet just to hear her speak, in fear of missing a word and then having to pay the consequences.
One look at the determined look on Quinn’s face and her body language tells the rest of the squad that pissing Quinn off will result in more than just extra laps and suicides. They do everything they are told with no complaint so even Sue Sylvester has a hard time finding something wrong with their overall performance. Quinn is given the ok to dismiss them fifteen minutes early if she wants. She has them run extra suicides to keep their reflexes sharp and extra laps around the track ‘to cool down properly’. When she finally dismisses them, they can all see the gleam of pride in Sue’s eyes at Quinn’s leadership and physical condition because their captain has done every single thing they have while giving them instructions and she still looks as fresh as a daisy. They bite their tongues.
While she showers, Quinn contemplates how practice went. She truly seeks perfection from every single member of the squad, even when they’re cross training and not doing any of their routines. Anything else is unacceptable. Once again, Rachel’s words are in a loop in her brain. She sighs at her own double standards, not just the ones the rest of Glee have.
When she is dressed in her uniform, she grabs her things and leaves the locker room after she makes sure the Cheerios who are still paying for their indiscretion last year collect all the dirty towels and have them ready for the cleaning service.
* * *
Instead of going somewhere for breakfast, Rachel and Kelly end up eating at the Rileys’. Rachel is nearly bowled over by an over excited Fusilli. They all laugh at the tiny girl pinned to a wall by the affectionate dog.
“Fusilli, down!” Christine, Kelly and Alex’s mom says in a firm voice and the Rottweiler mix is immediately sitting obediently by her side. “You know this wouldn’t happen if you came to visit more. That dog just adores you.” She adds with a smile, as the other three laugh at Rachel’s dishevelled appearance.
Breakfast is a blur of jokes and a quick update and a promise of a more thorough discussion for dinner.
The drive to McKinley is filled with their usual arguments of what music to hear, with Rachel winning after one well placed pout.
“That pout won’t always work. We’ve been away for too long so our resistance to it is down, but within a day, you won’t get away with it.” Gabe mumbles, knowing that statement is the furthest thing from the truth. The other three in the car laugh at the absurdity of that comment.
“Want us to drop by for lunch?” Kelly asks once they pull over by McKinley’s front entrance.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just go to the auditorium or something to get some extra practice. You had a pretty long drive back, so take the extra time to get some rest. Besides, you also have friends your age you need see. I’ll see you all after school.” Rachel says as she gets out of the car.
Soon, all three college students follow suit, each giving the little diva a hug and a kiss. They only get back in the car and drive off after Rachel disappears through the double doors.
Rachel puts on her earbuds and turns on her iPod. The biggest torture in her eyes is to endure classes without her music. She is so absorbed in whatever she is listening to, she fails to notice Puck making his way to her. She lets out a squeal of surprise once she feels hands around her hips lifting her and twirling her around the hallway.
“Hey Rachel.” Puck says as he lowers her back on solid ground.
“Good morning Noah. To what do I owe the exuberance of your greeting this morning?” Rachel asks after she pulls the earbuds out and turns off her iPod.
“Just happy to see you. Come on, I’ll walk you to homeroom.” Puck says with a charming smile as he offers Rachel his left arm.
“Lead the way.” Rachel says giggling as she takes his arm.
They walk to Rachel’s homeroom smiling and talking about music, ignoring the looks they still get, even after a month of them hanging out together. ‘They call me a loser and a freak, yet they can’t seem to stop obsessing about my life.’ Rachel thinks as she shakes her head.
“Thank you so much for being such a gentleman, Noah.” Rachel says as they reach the door to her homeroom and placing a kiss on his cheek.
“You’re gonna kill my rep if you keep saying sh…crap like that.” Puck says blushing.
“Only you would think being called a gentleman is a bad thing.” Rachel scoffs playfully.
“I’m a badass through and through.” Puck says wriggling his eyebrows suggestively at her. “Later, Babe.” Puck adds before Rachel can call him a pig or something similar, although knowing Rachel, it would probably be something with a lot of words.
Rachel walks into homeroom and slowly makes her way to her usual desk.
“Good morning Rachel.” Quinn says with a smile, causing Rachel to jump slightly.
“Uh, Good morning Quinn.” Rachel replies returning she smile, albeit a bit reluctant. She had never expected for Quinn to openly talk to her in such a friendly manner in front of others.
Quinn’s smile falters a bit once she sees the shock in Rachel’s face. She knows she should have expected something like that. After all, it was only as recently as Sectionals over the weekend when Quinn was being anything but nice to the diva. It stings to see Rachel so at ease with Puck, but so guarded around her.
The rest of the students there stare back and forth between Quinn and Rachel during their exchange, but it was so fast, that they are now convinced they were hallucinating.
When all announcements are done, their teacher dismisses them a few minutes early. Rachel walks out of homeroom as fast as she can without walking into someone. Quinn is a bit disappointed that the diva just bolted from homeroom.
The rest of the morning is spent in similar fashion. Quinn is always the one who greets Rachel warmly. Rachel would in turn smile shyly but never saying a word, or be the one to initiate anything. Rachel would then walk away as fast as her legs could carry her, without actually breaking into a run. ‘At least she’s smiling back, even if she’s not talking to me.’ Quinn thinks as she goes to her locker to dump her books and grab her lunch. She is brought out of her musings when she catches Rachel walk away, tears threatening to fall. Quinn turns to face the direction Rachel came from, and shakes her head in disbelief. Finn is openly flirting with Santana, while the Latina fawns over him. It makes her blood boil, so on impulse she stalks over to them.
“You’re such a hypocrite, Finn. No wonder Rachel dumped your sorry ass.” Quinn says loud enough for those around them to hear clearly. All conversation stops, and the hallway is filled with complete silence. Every single student turns to stare at Finn. She walks away with a satisfied smile in search of Rachel.
Quinn makes a beeline for the auditorium, remembering that’s where Rachel went after her break-up and confrontation with Finn. Before she makes it all the way, she once again hears music filtering out to the hallway. Unlike yesterday, it’s only a faint melody with no accompanying lyrics. She opens the door as gently as possible, not wanting to startle Rachel, and in the hope that the little diva will sing something.
Quinn is about to let her presence be known when Rachel starts another tune and soon, her voice fills the auditorium.
Long ago
In someone else’s lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that’s where she would be
Lately
Although the feelings run just as deep
The promise she made has grown impossible to keep
And yet I wish it wasn’t so
Will he miss me if I go?
Quinn can see the faint track of tears and she feels her heart squeeze in sympathy.
In a way
It’s someone else’s story
I don’t see myself
As taking part at all
Yesterday
The girl that I was fond of
Finally could see
The writing on the wall
Sadly
She realized she’d left him behind
And sadder than that she knew he wouldn’t even mind
And though there’s nothing left to say
Would he listen if I stay?
As the song continues, Quinn nearly groans because it sounds as if Rachel is second guessing her decision and regretting dumping the man-child. She feels inexplicably angry at the prospect of Rachel and Finn getting back together. The girl deserves so much more.
It’s all very well to say you fool it’s now or never
I could be choosing
No choices whatsoever.
I could be
In someone else’s story
In someone else’s life
And he could be in mine
I don’t see
A reason to be lonely
I could take my chances
Further down the line
And if
That girl I knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn’t hesitate she needn’t ask me twice
Go now!
I’d tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me.
Quinn refrains from jumping to conclusions. Instead, the moment the last note of the song fades away, the blonde makes her way to Rachel.
If Rachel is surprised to see her, the diva doesn’t show it. Quinn is greeted with a small wave and a sad smile. Quinn smiles happily once she realises it’s the first greeting initiated by the diva.
“He’s not worth it, you know. You’re not regretting your decision, are you?” Quinn says as she joins Rachel on the piano bench.
“I know he’s not, and no, I’m not getting back with him anytime soon. I meant everything I said yesterday. It just hurts to see him move on so fast. It’s like I never existed. As much as I’d love to just kick him permanently off my heart, I still care for him. I know he’s not good for me. I need my heart and my head on the same page. Singing usually helps.” Rachel answers, not even pretending to be shocked that Quinn and the others overheard her entire conversation yesterday.
Quinn smiles at that. She is actually relieved. “Good, because you definitely deserve more than that simpleton.” Quinn says.
“You do realise that you dated him as well, correct? Or did you fall off while dismounting from the pyramid and hit your head, causing a slight case of amnesia?” Rachel says, a small smile gracing her face.
“Haha. Very funny. I have the right to call him whatever I wish because I had the misfortune of falling in the trap of dating him, dating the image and the security he was supposed to provide.” Quinn confesses.
“I guess we both liked the image that went with dating the school’s quarterback, but only I was stupid enough to fall for him.” Rachel says with a shrug.
“No, you’re not stupid. We have no control over who we love. Cliché, but true. On the upside, you’re smart enough to get out of a destructive relationship before it’s too late. That takes courage.” Quinn says.
“Thanks Quinn.” Rachel says with a genuine smile.
“Why were you avoiding me earlier?” Quinn blurts out.
“I wasn’t.” Rachel replies.
“It sure could have fooled me.” Quinn says, her hurt feelings evident in her tone of voice.
“I didn’t want to make things hard for you by being seen with me. You just got your popularity back and I’m not sure if it will endure being seen with me in public.” Rachel says with a self-deprecating smile.
Quinn never expected that answer. “What makes you think something will happen?” Quinn asks.
“After you greeted me in homeroom, I saw the looks and heard the whispers. They all wondered if you a)Lost a bet. b)Hit your head and were suffering from a concussion. Or c)Are setting me up for something epic. We might not be friends yet, but I would never wish how I’m treated on anyone.” Rachel answers, looking straight into hazel eyes.
If anything, those words make Quinn feel even worse. She is only aware she’s crying when she feels Rachel’s thumbs softly wiping away her tears.
“Don’t worry about that. I offered you my friendship with no strings attached. That means I won’t hide behind the walls of the choir room. I’ll talk to you if and when I wish. I once told Sam what was the use of popularity if it meant not being able to do what one wanted. You let me worry about the sheep.” Quinn says.
Rachel nods, fighting her own tears.
They spend the rest of their lunch period learning about each other. They reluctantly get up when it’s time to go. The rest of McKinley collectively looks around for the Four Horsemen when they see Quinn and Rachel walking out of the auditorium laughing and smiling.
TBC...
Chap. 4