Dear friends and readers
Dear friends and readers,
it's been a long time since I wrote into this journal or kept in touch with you in any way. I hope you are all doing fine.
I've been through much not only in the past but also in the present time. Even though I always gave and still give my best, life isn't easy with me.
I don't even know if anybody will read these things I'm writing in this entry.
Anyways I have changed some things.
I changed the title name of my fanfiction and made it friends only. The reason I made it friends only is obvisouly because I changed my mind and didn't want everybody to be able to read the fanfiction except my friends.
Furthemore I'm sorry to announce you all that at the moment I gave up the fanfiction of hanchul. It may be that for some reason Heechul and Hankyung went too way different ways and Hankyung may marry with a woman now, I just can't find any motivation to wite about them.
Honestly the real reason could be that my OTP changed. I know I used to say that HanChul is my OTP and I would like no other pairing more..but I was wrong.
I also thought that from all of the groups Super Junior will always stay my no.1 and no other group could each that rank...but I was wrong again.
This doesn't mean I don't like them anymore...I'm still an E.L.F. and love them...but more than an E.L.F. I have become an A+.
A MBLAQ fan. I love them so much...but to be honest I got to love them so much because of Mir. This guy really did it. I love him so much, not just looks, but his personality. Sometimes his personality reminds me of myself. I have caught myself always fangirling over him, forgetting all the other idols out there. You know I was a big Heechul fan but believe it or not, I didn't get this feeling I get for Mir when I was a Heechul fan.
As for the OTP...it changed to JooMi. They are so cute together♥
And I started to write a MBLAQ fanfiction called "sudden hate". I already got about 47 subscribers or so(on asianfanfiction)..and this time every idea is from me. I like my own fanfiction...kinda weird?
Besides all these K-pop fangirling there's life of course.
A life which demands patience, strenght, ambition and relicience from you. It is easy to put it into words but hard to accomplish everything. As time goes by and as life get's harder you loose your strenght step by step. Sometimes it feels like you are soulless. But still you try to stand up and work hard to make everything better. When you gain and win something you feel lucky and happy. But it's just a one-moment feeling. The next day you wake up and all those feelings of luck is washed away and you have to face the next obstacle. Netherless you try your best to win over this obstacle too. Obviously I'm only writing about my point of life, or should I put it as "the life I'm living"?...I always waited for things to get more easy...I always worked hard but after I won over one obstacle I stumbled over another one...it never ends...but now I feel like I'm slowly reaching my limits. I know there are many people who have it way worse than me. But it's not about that...I'm just feeling weak - even if I don't show it.
I feel like all the strenght went away from my body. My self-confidence is gone. But I'm still trying to stand up somehow, to get out of these depressions which worsen day by day. Though I always end up crying nights in my bed, I'm still going on.
I want everyone to stay strong even if you have hard times...because maybe someday the hard times will turn into good times. I'm still fighting for it but as for now, the pain in my chest will go on....
everyone fighting!
well, thank you if you still took your time and have read all of this.
I wish you all a good day,
Sincerely yours
- Reinai -
it's been a long time since I wrote into this journal or kept in touch with you in any way. I hope you are all doing fine.
I've been through much not only in the past but also in the present time. Even though I always gave and still give my best, life isn't easy with me.
I don't even know if anybody will read these things I'm writing in this entry.
Anyways I have changed some things.
I changed the title name of my fanfiction and made it friends only. The reason I made it friends only is obvisouly because I changed my mind and didn't want everybody to be able to read the fanfiction except my friends.
Furthemore I'm sorry to announce you all that at the moment I gave up the fanfiction of hanchul. It may be that for some reason Heechul and Hankyung went too way different ways and Hankyung may marry with a woman now, I just can't find any motivation to wite about them.
Honestly the real reason could be that my OTP changed. I know I used to say that HanChul is my OTP and I would like no other pairing more..but I was wrong.
I also thought that from all of the groups Super Junior will always stay my no.1 and no other group could each that rank...but I was wrong again.
This doesn't mean I don't like them anymore...I'm still an E.L.F. and love them...but more than an E.L.F. I have become an A+.
A MBLAQ fan. I love them so much...but to be honest I got to love them so much because of Mir. This guy really did it. I love him so much, not just looks, but his personality. Sometimes his personality reminds me of myself. I have caught myself always fangirling over him, forgetting all the other idols out there. You know I was a big Heechul fan but believe it or not, I didn't get this feeling I get for Mir when I was a Heechul fan.
As for the OTP...it changed to JooMi. They are so cute together♥
And I started to write a MBLAQ fanfiction called "sudden hate". I already got about 47 subscribers or so(on asianfanfiction)..and this time every idea is from me. I like my own fanfiction...kinda weird?
Besides all these K-pop fangirling there's life of course.
A life which demands patience, strenght, ambition and relicience from you. It is easy to put it into words but hard to accomplish everything. As time goes by and as life get's harder you loose your strenght step by step. Sometimes it feels like you are soulless. But still you try to stand up and work hard to make everything better. When you gain and win something you feel lucky and happy. But it's just a one-moment feeling. The next day you wake up and all those feelings of luck is washed away and you have to face the next obstacle. Netherless you try your best to win over this obstacle too. Obviously I'm only writing about my point of life, or should I put it as "the life I'm living"?...I always waited for things to get more easy...I always worked hard but after I won over one obstacle I stumbled over another one...it never ends...but now I feel like I'm slowly reaching my limits. I know there are many people who have it way worse than me. But it's not about that...I'm just feeling weak - even if I don't show it.
I feel like all the strenght went away from my body. My self-confidence is gone. But I'm still trying to stand up somehow, to get out of these depressions which worsen day by day. Though I always end up crying nights in my bed, I'm still going on.
I want everyone to stay strong even if you have hard times...because maybe someday the hard times will turn into good times. I'm still fighting for it but as for now, the pain in my chest will go on....
everyone fighting!
well, thank you if you still took your time and have read all of this.
I wish you all a good day,
Sincerely yours
- Reinai -