[locked to her girlfriends...]
My brother in law, God bless his sweet little heart, posted this pile of trash in his journal and I refused to read it. Margene read it though and now if I don't fill out the damned thing...she is one sick ticket, that's all I'm sayin' y'all.
How old were you when you discovered the joys of masturbation?
Forty-one. I ain't sayin' I never tried it before then but--Anrai sort of made it more fun with his talkin' dirty on the phone when he was still livin' in New Mexico.
How old were you when you first did anything sexual with another person?
I was sixteen.
How many sexual partners have you had?
Two. I been married twice so that ain't no shocker.
Have you ever had unprotected sex? Why?
I'm pregnant, ain't I? I ain't got no reason to worry about anything with my husband so we don't need to use it.
What term to you prefer to use when saying you had sex? (Got laid, fucked, made love, etc.) Is there a difference in your mind between such terms?
Course they're different. Makin' love is what I do with my husband, the rest of it's just nasty.
Have you ever used common household objects for sexual purposes?
Good lord, what is wrong with y'all? No.
Do you own sex toys?
What the hell do I need somethin' like that for? No.
She-male porn! Yes or no?
Who what now?
Your current partner has had way more sexual partners than you. How do you react?
He's a man, it ain't exactly a surprise.
You have had way more sexual partners than your current partner. How do you react?
I haven't. I've been with him and with my first husband and that is it.
Would you have sex with a person who you hated if you were extremely physically attracted to them?
No.
Would you have sex with someone you cared deeply for, but had no physical attraction to?
No.
Would you dump someone for refusing to give you head?
Excuse me? One, I ain't got a doodah to do da...and two, what kind of disgustin' shallow person would end a relationship over that?
Do YOU ever refuse to give head?
If I ain't in the mood to have sex, I ain't doin' that either and Anrai knows that.
Spit or swallow?
This is a nasty question, y'all.
What have you had up your butt for sexual reasons?
Who wrote this? Y'all ain't serious. Nothin' I ain't never and ain't never goin' to either.
Would you ever consider fisting?
I had to look that one up and I ain't got words for that.
Have you ever sneezed during a sex act?
You roll around in hay and tell me if you sneeze or not.
Farted?
No. What the blue corn hell is wrong with people askin' this stuff?
Do you prefer to face your partner during intercourse, or away?
Almost always though now it's not very doable with Bump here in the way.
Do you have a favourite position? If so, what?
I like him on top of me, except now cause that don't work and I can't be on my back. Once we did do what he called a reverse cowgirl and that was kinda fun until my mama called and I had to answer the phone, but I'd still rather be lookin' at his sweet face.
Where indoors do you prefer to have sex? (Bed, floor, shower, etc.)
We talkin' in the house or in the barn?
Do you enjoy having sex outdoors?
That big rock up at the creek ain't bad when it's hot out.
Have you used sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc) with a partner? If not, how do you feel about doing so?
No. What do I want that crap for? I got a husband that likes to have sex with me.
Would you ever take erotic photos of yourself or make sex tapes?
Sweet Jesus. No.
Do you enjoy being watched while having intercourse/masturbating?
Nasty. No.
Would you enjoy watching your partner Masturbate? Have sex with someone else?
What, you mean just sit there and watch him doin'...no. He can do that all by his lonesome in the shower if he got to. And if I ever saw him havin' sex with someone else...I'd damn near kill him and her. You got that?
How important is your sexual identity (gay, bi, straight) to your sense of self?
Oh, this is stupid. I love my husband. That's that.
If you woke up in bed, naked, with a member of the sex you don't normally fuck, how would you react?
This happens with Margene a lot. So?
If your partner admitted, while extremely drunk, to a fetish you find distasteful, what would you do?
I'd tell him there weren't no way in damned hell it was goin' to happen.
Have you ever dressed in costume as part of sex?
No.
Have you ever tried any form of bondage?
We might have played around with some horse tack when someone wouldn't keep his hands to himself, don't y'all ever tell him I told you that.
Do you enjoy pain during sex? Yours or your partner's?
No!
If you partner told you he/she desired a threesome, how would you react?
I ain't goin' to lie. I'd cry. I can't think of much else more hurtful than bein' asked to break my weddin' vows like that.
Would you ever try swinging?
No.
What is the maximum number of people you would sleep with at one time?
My husband.
Have you ever toyed with the idea of double penetration?
NO.
If one partner cuts off all sexual contact, is it acceptable for the deprived partner to cheat?
Hell no it ain't.
What's a sexual deal-breaker for you? The one thing you will NOT do for anybody?
I ain't cheatin' on my husband.
Say you have a kid. What sort of attitude towards sex would you want them to grow up to have?
That there ain't nothin' wrong with it as long as you are with the person you love but I ain't goin' to want to hear the details especially if you are up to nasty shit like your Uncle Rory probably is. I love that man but I worry about him.
How old were you when you discovered the joys of masturbation?
Forty-one. I ain't sayin' I never tried it before then but--Anrai sort of made it more fun with his talkin' dirty on the phone when he was still livin' in New Mexico.
How old were you when you first did anything sexual with another person?
I was sixteen.
How many sexual partners have you had?
Two. I been married twice so that ain't no shocker.
Have you ever had unprotected sex? Why?
I'm pregnant, ain't I? I ain't got no reason to worry about anything with my husband so we don't need to use it.
What term to you prefer to use when saying you had sex? (Got laid, fucked, made love, etc.) Is there a difference in your mind between such terms?
Course they're different. Makin' love is what I do with my husband, the rest of it's just nasty.
Have you ever used common household objects for sexual purposes?
Good lord, what is wrong with y'all? No.
Do you own sex toys?
What the hell do I need somethin' like that for? No.
She-male porn! Yes or no?
Who what now?
Your current partner has had way more sexual partners than you. How do you react?
He's a man, it ain't exactly a surprise.
You have had way more sexual partners than your current partner. How do you react?
I haven't. I've been with him and with my first husband and that is it.
Would you have sex with a person who you hated if you were extremely physically attracted to them?
No.
Would you have sex with someone you cared deeply for, but had no physical attraction to?
No.
Would you dump someone for refusing to give you head?
Excuse me? One, I ain't got a doodah to do da...and two, what kind of disgustin' shallow person would end a relationship over that?
Do YOU ever refuse to give head?
If I ain't in the mood to have sex, I ain't doin' that either and Anrai knows that.
Spit or swallow?
This is a nasty question, y'all.
What have you had up your butt for sexual reasons?
Who wrote this? Y'all ain't serious. Nothin' I ain't never and ain't never goin' to either.
Would you ever consider fisting?
I had to look that one up and I ain't got words for that.
Have you ever sneezed during a sex act?
You roll around in hay and tell me if you sneeze or not.
Farted?
No. What the blue corn hell is wrong with people askin' this stuff?
Do you prefer to face your partner during intercourse, or away?
Almost always though now it's not very doable with Bump here in the way.
Do you have a favourite position? If so, what?
I like him on top of me, except now cause that don't work and I can't be on my back. Once we did do what he called a reverse cowgirl and that was kinda fun until my mama called and I had to answer the phone, but I'd still rather be lookin' at his sweet face.
Where indoors do you prefer to have sex? (Bed, floor, shower, etc.)
We talkin' in the house or in the barn?
Do you enjoy having sex outdoors?
That big rock up at the creek ain't bad when it's hot out.
Have you used sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc) with a partner? If not, how do you feel about doing so?
No. What do I want that crap for? I got a husband that likes to have sex with me.
Would you ever take erotic photos of yourself or make sex tapes?
Sweet Jesus. No.
Do you enjoy being watched while having intercourse/masturbating?
Nasty. No.
Would you enjoy watching your partner Masturbate? Have sex with someone else?
What, you mean just sit there and watch him doin'...no. He can do that all by his lonesome in the shower if he got to. And if I ever saw him havin' sex with someone else...I'd damn near kill him and her. You got that?
How important is your sexual identity (gay, bi, straight) to your sense of self?
Oh, this is stupid. I love my husband. That's that.
If you woke up in bed, naked, with a member of the sex you don't normally fuck, how would you react?
This happens with Margene a lot. So?
If your partner admitted, while extremely drunk, to a fetish you find distasteful, what would you do?
I'd tell him there weren't no way in damned hell it was goin' to happen.
Have you ever dressed in costume as part of sex?
No.
Have you ever tried any form of bondage?
We might have played around with some horse tack when someone wouldn't keep his hands to himself, don't y'all ever tell him I told you that.
Do you enjoy pain during sex? Yours or your partner's?
No!
If you partner told you he/she desired a threesome, how would you react?
I ain't goin' to lie. I'd cry. I can't think of much else more hurtful than bein' asked to break my weddin' vows like that.
Would you ever try swinging?
No.
What is the maximum number of people you would sleep with at one time?
My husband.
Have you ever toyed with the idea of double penetration?
NO.
If one partner cuts off all sexual contact, is it acceptable for the deprived partner to cheat?
Hell no it ain't.
What's a sexual deal-breaker for you? The one thing you will NOT do for anybody?
I ain't cheatin' on my husband.
Say you have a kid. What sort of attitude towards sex would you want them to grow up to have?
That there ain't nothin' wrong with it as long as you are with the person you love but I ain't goin' to want to hear the details especially if you are up to nasty shit like your Uncle Rory probably is. I love that man but I worry about him.