PERSONALITY: Suki is definitely one odd individual. A troubled girl, she has a tendency to lash out, run away, or threaten; sometimes all three at once. Always one to keep on her own, she's a quiet, odd child who prefers drawing in notebooks or writing (rather horrible teenage) poetry as opposed to taking notes or learning. When she is interested in a subject, however, she'll soak in as much knowledge and learning as possible,
However, she responds with anger or dismissing of an attitude when she runs into bothersome encounters. Because Suki's not too accustomed to having pleasant encounters with people, she tends to snap or panic when she runs into one. She's used to being attacked, so she tries to fight back in the hopes of getting people to leave her alone. Her major downsides are: she can't fight, and she cowardly backs away the moment she can. Her anger is more of a first reaction, quickly replaced with the flight response. But on days when she doesn't feel as challenged, she's quick to invalidate another person's feelings, not wanting to bother herself with the situation.
Suki's a very difficult person to grow close to. She's used to people not being nice, so she tends to even take kindness as some sort of attack, keeping her distance and sometimes trying to flee if they get too close. However, if one is lucky enough to keep her interest for more than ten minutes, she tends to let her guard down enough to try and act a little less nervous around them. She's only grown close to a few people, but even then she was a little guarded; making friends doesn't come easy with her unless they're widely accepting of her oddities.
A self-mutilator, Suki cuts herself on occasion. She's tried to lessen this, but she ends up spending her free evenings adding marks into her skin and taking pleasure in the pain. She doesn't consider herself a masochist, but in many ways she is, not just with the cutting but with her odd tendency to ingest items that should never be ingested. For example: Suki drinks bleach multiple times a year, or lighter fluid, car gasoline even (and ends up in the hospital under a stomach pump and another day of therapy). She likes the feeling when it goes down, not so much when it's coming back up.
Unfortunately, her troublesome behavior tends to get her in trouble with authority figures, which makes her very distrusting of them. Most of them tend to ignore her complaints or dismiss her as a 'troubled orphan girl', which she hates. They tend to mistake her as needing 'another hug' or 'more discipline', which she's pretty sure she's got enough of. She hates when strangers touch her and she has no idea how much further they could discipline her without her wanting to end up cutting again. She'll behave when she wants to, and that's that.
But on the few occasions when she has to behave or has to do something necessary, she will. Not the type to complain, Suki tends to curl up on herself and keep away from others instead of lashing out. As long as she behaves, they usually leave her alone. Just the act of it is tiring, so she tries her best to flee before she's forced to be in such situations. Her attitude of 'I do what I want' only goes so far; she may be forced to go to the counselor but she'll outright decide not to talk, or she'll visit a doctor and refuse to properly answer the questions. She won't vent, she just won't speak, which makes her only half as difficult.
Part of Suki's difficult behavior is because she often feels as though she's unwanted in society. Without stable parents or people in her life to tell her that they do care about her, save for a passing mentor or two, she often feels displaced and has a difficult time connecting with people. She doesn't trust easily, and she tries to keep herself away from others, because she's convinced herself that everyone will leave her, but she does wish for friendship, or at least someone who she could talk to on a regular basis. However, she has taken solace in her solitude. She knows she won't leave herself, and that's how she validates feeling okay with not having friends, despite how much she wants them.
However, she responds with anger or dismissing of an attitude when she runs into bothersome encounters. Because Suki's not too accustomed to having pleasant encounters with people, she tends to snap or panic when she runs into one. She's used to being attacked, so she tries to fight back in the hopes of getting people to leave her alone. Her major downsides are: she can't fight, and she cowardly backs away the moment she can. Her anger is more of a first reaction, quickly replaced with the flight response. But on days when she doesn't feel as challenged, she's quick to invalidate another person's feelings, not wanting to bother herself with the situation.
Suki's a very difficult person to grow close to. She's used to people not being nice, so she tends to even take kindness as some sort of attack, keeping her distance and sometimes trying to flee if they get too close. However, if one is lucky enough to keep her interest for more than ten minutes, she tends to let her guard down enough to try and act a little less nervous around them. She's only grown close to a few people, but even then she was a little guarded; making friends doesn't come easy with her unless they're widely accepting of her oddities.
A self-mutilator, Suki cuts herself on occasion. She's tried to lessen this, but she ends up spending her free evenings adding marks into her skin and taking pleasure in the pain. She doesn't consider herself a masochist, but in many ways she is, not just with the cutting but with her odd tendency to ingest items that should never be ingested. For example: Suki drinks bleach multiple times a year, or lighter fluid, car gasoline even (and ends up in the hospital under a stomach pump and another day of therapy). She likes the feeling when it goes down, not so much when it's coming back up.
Unfortunately, her troublesome behavior tends to get her in trouble with authority figures, which makes her very distrusting of them. Most of them tend to ignore her complaints or dismiss her as a 'troubled orphan girl', which she hates. They tend to mistake her as needing 'another hug' or 'more discipline', which she's pretty sure she's got enough of. She hates when strangers touch her and she has no idea how much further they could discipline her without her wanting to end up cutting again. She'll behave when she wants to, and that's that.
But on the few occasions when she has to behave or has to do something necessary, she will. Not the type to complain, Suki tends to curl up on herself and keep away from others instead of lashing out. As long as she behaves, they usually leave her alone. Just the act of it is tiring, so she tries her best to flee before she's forced to be in such situations. Her attitude of 'I do what I want' only goes so far; she may be forced to go to the counselor but she'll outright decide not to talk, or she'll visit a doctor and refuse to properly answer the questions. She won't vent, she just won't speak, which makes her only half as difficult.
Part of Suki's difficult behavior is because she often feels as though she's unwanted in society. Without stable parents or people in her life to tell her that they do care about her, save for a passing mentor or two, she often feels displaced and has a difficult time connecting with people. She doesn't trust easily, and she tries to keep herself away from others, because she's convinced herself that everyone will leave her, but she does wish for friendship, or at least someone who she could talk to on a regular basis. However, she has taken solace in her solitude. She knows she won't leave herself, and that's how she validates feeling okay with not having friends, despite how much she wants them.
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