Comments | reimars: Naruto - 28. Wada Calcium CD3

reimars

Naruto - 28. Wada Calcium CD3

Jul 18, 2006 19:42

Team seven, eventually some village is going to think of going after that necklace of Naruto's.
I need to stop abusing the themes from 30_kisses, but if someone can think of a way to fit SasuSaku into the calcium pill prompt, they are trying harder than me.

( If she could feel the saliva dripping irritatingly down her cheek, it meant that the pain in her torso had receded, which was also very bad. )

sakura, 30 kisses, naruto

Comments 32

a_white_rain July 19 2006, 00:59:34 UTC

oh. owe.

She was tired. She was too old to be nineteen, and she was too young to be dying, and her teammates were too young to be dying, and they were all too damn old to be who they were. They'd completed the mission they'd been on, and they'd prevented the ambush's goal, and they'd lived this long despite everything, and dammit, they deserved some rest. Just some.
I liked that line best.

reimars July 19 2006, 01:33:49 UTC

I'm torn between "thank you" and "sorry." *grin*

a_white_rain July 19 2006, 01:34:50 UTC

No. Don't be sorry. It's my fault for clicking, your fics always break my heart. XD

reimars July 19 2006, 01:37:00 UTC

;_;

. . . at least I rejected this as a possible ending to Sword & Shield because I wanted them to be happy once or so?

Thread 7

emeraldus July 19 2006, 01:53:59 UTC

Considering what they are and what they do, a happy dying-old-in-their-beds-ending doesn't seem right for them. Still...sad. ::sniff sniff::

reimars July 19 2006, 03:06:47 UTC

Pretty much, yeah . . . with their personalities, it's hard to see them dying unless the only possibility of survival is a medical team with Shizune or Tsunade herself arriving two seconds later. But there's always hope, right?

da_fox22 July 19 2006, 02:16:27 UTC

I loved this.

The imagery, the gut-wrenching heartbreak...

You made me cry. [sniff]

I wonder - did they want the necklace strictly monetary reasons, or for something else?

reimars July 19 2006, 03:14:18 UTC

Depends if it was a village/group in possession of a jinchuuriki or planning to get one, or just some really tough missingnins, I guess. The material of the necklace on it's own is supposed to be crazy expensive, but now that we know it also does something that supresses bijuu, probably every village that's got one would want to get their hands on it if they knew.

. . . Actually, unless whatever Yamato did wasn't exclusive to the first Hokage's genes (I never really got that part), it was probably just monetary. Or the result of bad information!

suzu July 19 2006, 02:41:26 UTC

Augh D:

reimars July 19 2006, 03:08:10 UTC

. . . Naruto dies too after the backup arrives, so they all go together?

(I need to stop writing things where that's the ray of sunshine.)

rokudaimeyo July 19 2006, 03:15:30 UTC

Aaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhh.

gigabomb July 19 2006, 03:47:11 UTC

... man, if I was suicidal, this might push me over the edge. You really should have warnings on your stuff, like don't read if depressed, like those warning labels on alcohol to not drink if pregnant.

However, this does speak to the quality of your fic. You're an excellent writer, and this reflects it. Angst can so easily be overdone, but the way you write it is perfect.

She'd started crying reflexively, body wasting fluids she needed, by the time the coughs slowed enough for her to realize Naruto was repeating her name.

This was my favorite line, I think, because it reflects Sakura's medical training and Sakura herself, all at once. Bravo.

reimars July 19 2006, 04:17:36 UTC

o.o That would be bad! You're the main Sound writer that I read I have selfish motivations yes.

(Eheh, I suck about warnings mostly because I assume that after a couple months, people just assume that anything I write, someone's gonna suffer.)

Thank you very much, though. I admire the way you write dark stories but manage to work humor into them in a really natural way, so hearing that you think the angst isn't too 'drowned in a bucket'-like, it's pretty awesome. *grin*

gigabomb July 19 2006, 05:01:19 UTC

I choose to take that as a compliment, though I know that very few good writers out there actually give Sound more than a second glance. And don't worry, not anywhere near suicidal. All this gave me was an, "Aw, I feel so bad for them," and then marveling over some of the better worded parts.

True, but what about newbies? They might be scarred for life. Don't worry about us regulars; we're already so messed up that an additional mental scar or two won't change much.You're welcome. It's true, though. You're excellent on the angst front, while still keeping the characters saying hopeful things that breaks your heart. I think that's the mark of an angst writer that knows what they're doing. The inexperienced tends to have their 'angst' fics be ridiculously emo, but the better real angst fics are where everyone is smiling and saying everything will be alright, or everything isn't so bad, when the situation has gone completely to shit ( ... )

reimars July 19 2006, 05:40:33 UTC

Urk, yeah, it was supposed to be a compliment, sorry. ¬_¬ Pretty much all the authors I follow that do Naruto are either in the Sound or team seven camps, so my proportions are probably a little skewed.

Eh, the internet is a place of learning things by touch and go! It'll be better for them in the long run. Or something.

Heh, thank you. I think that's the result of a personal bias, though; I really tend to like characters who are either trying to see the bright side of situations where the 'bright side' is just the slightly less black area or who complain nonstop that everything has gone to hell and they're all going to die, but do it in the midst of doing everything they can to improve the situation. Life's more fun with contrasts.

*nod* Yeah, that sounds correct. Kidoumaru's the character I associate the most with you, and that reasoning describes it and him well.

Thread 9