Throwing Down Gauntlets
Extremely long story short, my sister divorced her husband of about 13 years. They were married for half of my life. I haven't spoken to my ex-brother-in-law since September, at a family wedding, I think a month before my sister told me they were splitting.
It was big news, and even as distanced as I was from James, I still knew him and lived with him, and went on vacation with him, and had him at my fucking college graduation. He was part of my life.
He disappeared from Facebook (or should I say disappeared me from his Facebook?). That's fine. I'm okay with it and it certainly isn't the first time I've been cleared from someone's roster. It hurt initially, because it was like being kicked aside without even acknowledging our history. I don't need to even have a long, drawn-out conversation with him- it wasn't my marriage. I can accept him moving on and having his own life. I want him to move on and have his own life, and to even be happier than he once was with my sister. For all the things that annoyed that shit out of me about him, I always knew that deep down he was a good guy. Even my sister would say "he's a great husband, he should just be someone else's husband."
So when I saw that he'd kicked me out of his life, even in such a superficial way as un-friending me on FB, I took it harder than I thought.
I didn't do anything about it until tonight. I wasn't worried that I would act emotional or try to be mean-spirited. I wanted to just move on. But today I decided that I at least get to say goodbye. If anything he ever said to me was true, then he can at least grant me some parting words.
So I pulled up the number I had for him, and I sent him a text about 15 minutes ago. If his schedule is anything like what it is now, he's asleep and will be until early tomorrow morning. So maybe mine will be the first thing he reads. Now don't get too excited. All it says is "is this James? Because this is Tami," and I left it at that. I didn't want to go on and on in case someone else had the number now. I don't know what he'll do if he gets it. I just need some closure. I don't really want to ask my sister for contact information, though I think she'd understand my motives.
I just get to wait and see.
It was big news, and even as distanced as I was from James, I still knew him and lived with him, and went on vacation with him, and had him at my fucking college graduation. He was part of my life.
He disappeared from Facebook (or should I say disappeared me from his Facebook?). That's fine. I'm okay with it and it certainly isn't the first time I've been cleared from someone's roster. It hurt initially, because it was like being kicked aside without even acknowledging our history. I don't need to even have a long, drawn-out conversation with him- it wasn't my marriage. I can accept him moving on and having his own life. I want him to move on and have his own life, and to even be happier than he once was with my sister. For all the things that annoyed that shit out of me about him, I always knew that deep down he was a good guy. Even my sister would say "he's a great husband, he should just be someone else's husband."
So when I saw that he'd kicked me out of his life, even in such a superficial way as un-friending me on FB, I took it harder than I thought.
I didn't do anything about it until tonight. I wasn't worried that I would act emotional or try to be mean-spirited. I wanted to just move on. But today I decided that I at least get to say goodbye. If anything he ever said to me was true, then he can at least grant me some parting words.
So I pulled up the number I had for him, and I sent him a text about 15 minutes ago. If his schedule is anything like what it is now, he's asleep and will be until early tomorrow morning. So maybe mine will be the first thing he reads. Now don't get too excited. All it says is "is this James? Because this is Tami," and I left it at that. I didn't want to go on and on in case someone else had the number now. I don't know what he'll do if he gets it. I just need some closure. I don't really want to ask my sister for contact information, though I think she'd understand my motives.
I just get to wait and see.