Is posting about this being passive aggressive?
So one day, chatty girl at work was like "see, I'm the type of person who, when someone bothers me, I post about it on facebook." Her example was something along the lines of "I hate when people piss me off!" So I was just thinking, "oh, so you're one of those annoying passive aggressive types and you think that's a legitimate response to your problems with other people."
So forgive me in advance for not saying it this way to the people who I have in mind as I post this, but the time for that is long gone, and I think it serves no purpose to bring it up later unless the conversation goes that way by itself.
So my sister has this daughter-in-law. I've known this kid since I was 12. I used to like this kid. She used to be my friend. Then she got older and turned out to be a terrible, terrible person. Sometime in college I ended all contact with her. My small, remaining curiosity about her life is merely morbid, as I couldn't care less about what happens to her. In short, I don't like her, and I live as though she doesn't exist.
Then every once in a while someone asks me how she's doing. The answer is always "I don't know, last I heard..." Phil and Tanya think I should know. Their logic? "She's still family." No, she's not. If she's anyone's family, she's my sister's (and Esha's never been a fan of her, tbph). She is nothing to me. Next time this comes up with one of them, I'll extrapolate a little more: "she's not my family, I have no interest in her life. If you care so much, you can call her." I don't understand this notion that family overrides everything else. It really doesn't. Bonds exist, that's true. But those are with my mom, my siblings. Not with her, her father, my own cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I never grew up with this notion that sharing DNA meant that I had to be interested or involved in your life. What I see instead is there was a person who didn't deserve my presence, so I cut her out completely. I have absolutely no obligations to her just because we're related by terms of the law.
So forgive me in advance for not saying it this way to the people who I have in mind as I post this, but the time for that is long gone, and I think it serves no purpose to bring it up later unless the conversation goes that way by itself.
So my sister has this daughter-in-law. I've known this kid since I was 12. I used to like this kid. She used to be my friend. Then she got older and turned out to be a terrible, terrible person. Sometime in college I ended all contact with her. My small, remaining curiosity about her life is merely morbid, as I couldn't care less about what happens to her. In short, I don't like her, and I live as though she doesn't exist.
Then every once in a while someone asks me how she's doing. The answer is always "I don't know, last I heard..." Phil and Tanya think I should know. Their logic? "She's still family." No, she's not. If she's anyone's family, she's my sister's (and Esha's never been a fan of her, tbph). She is nothing to me. Next time this comes up with one of them, I'll extrapolate a little more: "she's not my family, I have no interest in her life. If you care so much, you can call her." I don't understand this notion that family overrides everything else. It really doesn't. Bonds exist, that's true. But those are with my mom, my siblings. Not with her, her father, my own cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I never grew up with this notion that sharing DNA meant that I had to be interested or involved in your life. What I see instead is there was a person who didn't deserve my presence, so I cut her out completely. I have absolutely no obligations to her just because we're related by terms of the law.