(no subject)
So I have no idea where to start, LOL. how typical is that?
So Patrick came home on the 21st. A week ago yesterday. It's odd because at some moments it feels as if he hasn't been gone at all and then at other moments it feels like he had been in Japan for longer than just a year. Everything has been going great and A-Ok. We looked at an apartment last night but it wasn't really...great, lol. It was small and not really kept. The bathroom area was actually really nice, but the kitchen was bleh. As was the bedroom. The windows were old, coming apart and I have no idea how the screens were still in place. There was a place that we saw a couple of days ago but he forgot to call them yesterday. Must remind him to call. ... ::reminds him::
Tomorrow morning he's taking his LSAT but I think he'll do great. His scores are already high and he's not nervous so that should definitely go well. :) So very proud! Afterwards we're heading to the Sharks game at 7:30. I'm stoked about that. :)
So there's been a few reasons why I haven't been online and I don't know when I'll be able to bring myself to turn on the chat window. Pat, of course, is one reason, but not the main and only. I had my first test this morning and that went fine, I think. I hope. I dunno. But the main reason is that we found out that my paternal grandmother had a lump/spot on her lung and was taken to the hospital. Then it turned out she had more spots elsewhere and yesterday that fairly big lump/spot on her lung grew so quickly that it completely ate it away. She's got perhaps a week left to live and it's taken a huge toll on my family. My poor dad doesn't have much family left from all the deaths these past few years and he's taken it extremely hard. It's like losing his dad and brother all over again in one. My grandma is going quickly like my uncle did and it's sudden like my grandpa's. He's been going up to see her a few times now (he just got back this morning from going up yesterday morning) and everyone's going up Monday. I might go up then or on Tuesday. I'm not sure. I just wish that, for even a little bit, things would be smooth. When things aren't completely rocky, they're still bumpy. And my little brother hasn't known smooth. He's grown up with all these deaths and I'm afraid that it'll do something to him when he grows up. I know that he has a lot of support from my mom which is the upmost important thing that he needs right now, but I still don't know if that'll be enough. He's been going to funerals all his life. What happens when there isn't any family left to die? I don't want him to think that that's all that life is about: dying. Because it's not. I'm probably just blowing out of complete proportion, but who knows.
So yeah. Whatever. I'm just not really interested in coming online anymore. At least not for the moment.
So Patrick came home on the 21st. A week ago yesterday. It's odd because at some moments it feels as if he hasn't been gone at all and then at other moments it feels like he had been in Japan for longer than just a year. Everything has been going great and A-Ok. We looked at an apartment last night but it wasn't really...great, lol. It was small and not really kept. The bathroom area was actually really nice, but the kitchen was bleh. As was the bedroom. The windows were old, coming apart and I have no idea how the screens were still in place. There was a place that we saw a couple of days ago but he forgot to call them yesterday. Must remind him to call. ... ::reminds him::
Tomorrow morning he's taking his LSAT but I think he'll do great. His scores are already high and he's not nervous so that should definitely go well. :) So very proud! Afterwards we're heading to the Sharks game at 7:30. I'm stoked about that. :)
So there's been a few reasons why I haven't been online and I don't know when I'll be able to bring myself to turn on the chat window. Pat, of course, is one reason, but not the main and only. I had my first test this morning and that went fine, I think. I hope. I dunno. But the main reason is that we found out that my paternal grandmother had a lump/spot on her lung and was taken to the hospital. Then it turned out she had more spots elsewhere and yesterday that fairly big lump/spot on her lung grew so quickly that it completely ate it away. She's got perhaps a week left to live and it's taken a huge toll on my family. My poor dad doesn't have much family left from all the deaths these past few years and he's taken it extremely hard. It's like losing his dad and brother all over again in one. My grandma is going quickly like my uncle did and it's sudden like my grandpa's. He's been going up to see her a few times now (he just got back this morning from going up yesterday morning) and everyone's going up Monday. I might go up then or on Tuesday. I'm not sure. I just wish that, for even a little bit, things would be smooth. When things aren't completely rocky, they're still bumpy. And my little brother hasn't known smooth. He's grown up with all these deaths and I'm afraid that it'll do something to him when he grows up. I know that he has a lot of support from my mom which is the upmost important thing that he needs right now, but I still don't know if that'll be enough. He's been going to funerals all his life. What happens when there isn't any family left to die? I don't want him to think that that's all that life is about: dying. Because it's not. I'm probably just blowing out of complete proportion, but who knows.
So yeah. Whatever. I'm just not really interested in coming online anymore. At least not for the moment.