"All hail the great and powerful Wizard of Oz," Jinx bellowed to those below. Several of the ducks quacked, agreeing. One of the ducks released their bowels, landing on Icis as she was centimeters away from killing Rian.
< What the fuck! > She shrieked, coming to a halt. She moved her stalk eyes to the air, seeing a human Jinx floating directly above her, poking his head out of the balloon's basket. Crumbs of some sort seemed to fall from the sky.
"JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINX!" Rian's eyes widened, and she began to do a dance of joy. The dances included going to the left, taking it back now ya'll. She then did two hops this time, and again, two hops this time. Her right foot stomped twice, and then her left. "Hands on your knees, hands on your knees," Rian wailed, as she did so.
"Everybody clap your hands!" Albion appeared from the ship, with a huge smile and new pants. She clapped her hands like a lunatic, smiling, and skipping towards Rian. Icis had backed a few feet away, trying to find something nearby to wipe the bird shit off with. Mosh, even in cat form, watched from a distance, with a grin on his face.
"Albion," Rian hissed. "I have yet to get funky with it, and yet to do the most funkified part of the dance, so it was not time to clap your hands! You ruined my Jinx welcome dance!"
Albion peered cluelessly. "Was it time to cha-cha real smooth?"
"I could kill you," Rian growled.
Albion ignored her, and began doing the macarena. Her grin got even bigger, having a hard time trying to hide how proud of herself she was, "Look at my cha-cha!" Rian seemed to foam at the mouth.
The hot air balloon touched down on the ground. Jinx released the ropes which were connected to the ducks, and they all flew back towards the direction in which they came. The boy looked around the pasture. "Greetings, everyone."
Rian took a breath, preparing a welcoming poem. Albion interrupted, "Hi Jinxy!" Rian glared.
< Your bird shit all over me, > Icis grumbled, wiping the feces off her with her bare hands.
"Hello Alby," Jinx smiled. "And hello to you too, Icis. And is that Mosh over there? Hello to you, too! I believe I can smell Kitty's masculinity from inside the ship, he must still be sleeping? Tell him I say hello if someone sees him before I do."
"I'm here too," Rian beamed, forgetting all previous annoyances.
Jinx looked around the meadow. He opened the basket's door, and stepped out. "Has Arbron arrived yet?"
< Negative, > Mosh said, once again coming closer towards the group.
"Well, I seem to be most nervous for his arrival. You see, it must have been a couple months ago, I bumped into him while I was tacking Quack-A-Lack, Quackers, Ducky, Mallard, and Jexel on a road tripped when I bumped into him. I let the ducks do their own thing, and he and I just hung out a bit, and we caught up. It was rather nice. Let's see, we played some putt-putt golf, saw a movie, and had dinner together. I believe I had this tofu plate, and he, being the extremely macho-man that he is had steak. It was cooked rare! Can you all believe it? Anyway, I think he had mashed potatoes, too. They asked him if gravy was okay with it, but he said butter would be even better..."
Icis shifted her weight to one side as Jinx continued to ramble on. She wondered if he would ever stop talking.
"...and we ended up going back to my car. The ducks hadn't made their way back yet, so he kept me company. Anywho, and now, a couple months later, I believe that I'm carrying Arbron's child inside of me."
< And how exactly does one Leeran/human nothlit become impregnated by an Andalite war hero? > Icis asked dryly. Her main eyes were on Jinx but her stalk eyes were still on Rian.. Who was turning bright purple with barely concealed rage.
“HOW--” Rian choked out before she was cut off by a gleeful Mosh.
< Well you see, when one warrior loves another-- >
“NO SHUT UP!” Rian shrieked with a southern twang. “I’ll have you know that I am pregnant with Jinx’s baby!”
No one paid Rian much attention. Icis and Mosh were staring at Jinx with some mixture of amusement and horror. Kitty had come out of the ship to rub Albion’s back.
“Oh Arbron.. Arbron..” Albion sniffled.
*
Elsewhere, Arbron waited outside of the train station for Tom to arrive. It was well past the time the human had agreed to meet him and the Andalite was becoming impatient. Finally a angry shout drew Arbron’s attention and he trotted over to see what was the matter.
“You will let me pass! My life depends upon this suit of armor!” Tom said. The turnstile agent folded his arms and stared.
“You can’t fit.”
There was Tom, wearing a shark cage. Arbron groaned.
“Don’t tell me,” Tom sniffed, “that this station lacks the simple technology to expand a pathway for my special needs. This is an outrage! Why we Ellimists had this down before the Andalites did!”
< Dude, we’re late! > Arbron said. Tom noticed Arbron there and appeared sheepish.
“But I built this and..” the human trailed off, staring at his shoes.
< And it won’t fit, “Ellimist“! > Arbron whipped his tail faster than Tom had time to react. The cage fell apart around him. The half-mile long line of people that had been waiting behind Tom began to cheer. Tears welled in the human’s eyes. < ..Are you crying? You know what you said about mascara.. >
“OF COURSE I’M NOT CRYING! LET’S GO!” Tom yelled in a very masculine voice. The duo made their way to the rent-a-car and were on their way.
*
Meanwhile, Jinx was setting up a picnic. As he salvaged what was left of the filthy vegetable thins that Rian had spread around, the nothlit cupped his growing belly happily.
As Icis passed by, she totally accidentally kicked him in the stomach, causing an instant miscarriage. < Oops! >
Rian wailed.
*
“I needed that cage, you know,” Tom said softly.
Arbron rolled all four eyes. < The last time I talked to Icis, she said she had converted to Eastern religion and forgone her ways of violence. >
“That smells like a trap.”
< Dude, get over it. Did you know I am going to be a father now? >
“..We could get that taken care of,” Tom said as he lay his hand atop Arbron’s.
< But I’ve never been so happy in my entire life! Jinx will make a wonderful mother! >
Tom nearly veered off the road.
*
“You horrible bitch, HOW DARE YOU!” Rian shrieked as she ran at Icis.
Albion began to morph, the stripes appearing on her skin as she bared her teeth at Rian. “You leave Icis alone, it had to be done! Arbron is/was/will be MINE! >
“Stop it everyone!” Jinx cried with his arms raised towards the heavens. “Worry now! I am pregnant again! Arbron’s mighty sperm can bridge any distance!” As they watched in horror, Jinx’s belly began to expand.
"How the hell did that just happen?" Mosh asked, wiping off his mouth.
"Well, you see," Jinx started. Rian rushed him, rubbing her hands all over his bloated stomach.
"It's a miracle!" She gasped in amazement. "From this day forth, today shall be known as I rubbed Jinx's pregnant belly day! I shall celebrate by pretending to be a fetus myself! In fact, I'll make an umbilical cord out of cardboard and imagine that Jinx's loving nourishment is flowing into my body! And then I'll be complete, and it will be like I myself am the child of Jinx! And I've been residing in small town Georgia as of late, so the fact I'm in love with my parent in a VERY sexual manner won't be looked at as weird!"
"Indeed, Arbron's sperm has been lodged in a very special place inside of me, and whenever I cease to be pregnant...I simply become pregnant again! Until all of his swimmers have fertilized my eggs!" Jinx then stuffed a muddy vegetable thin into his mouth.
Icis turned to Albion, who was still in her tiger morph. "So, uh, Albion...what's going on?" Albion frolicked through the grass, forgetting any previous anger, letting her paws hit the meadow one at a time.
< Oh, just wondering about Lionel Richie. Why does his daughter appear to be so caucasian? >
Icis stared. Rian continued to grope a VERY pregnant Jinx. Mosh continued to spit up his breakfast.
***
< Dude, I feel like we've been driving in circles for hours, > Arbron said watching very similar houses pass that he saw an hour or two before. He stood up in the back of a mini-van, fighting the urge not to hang his head out the window to feel the air rush against his face. < Are you sure that you know where you're going? >
"Uh, of course I do. It's THE meadow, how do you not realize we're on our way?"
< We've passed the same porn shop half a dozen times. I only know it's the same one because it's advertising pink suede strap-ons. And every time I question how I don't imagine suede feeling very good inside of someone. >
Tom shook his head. In reality, he was only a few miles away from the meadow, and had been driving in circles avoiding making his arrival. He sighed, took a deep breath, and turned onto the dirt road he should have hours prior. "I hope you and Jinx make great parents," Tom said with a deep sigh. "It was nice being able to know you."
< What the fuck! > She shrieked, coming to a halt. She moved her stalk eyes to the air, seeing a human Jinx floating directly above her, poking his head out of the balloon's basket. Crumbs of some sort seemed to fall from the sky.
"JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINX!" Rian's eyes widened, and she began to do a dance of joy. The dances included going to the left, taking it back now ya'll. She then did two hops this time, and again, two hops this time. Her right foot stomped twice, and then her left. "Hands on your knees, hands on your knees," Rian wailed, as she did so.
"Everybody clap your hands!" Albion appeared from the ship, with a huge smile and new pants. She clapped her hands like a lunatic, smiling, and skipping towards Rian. Icis had backed a few feet away, trying to find something nearby to wipe the bird shit off with. Mosh, even in cat form, watched from a distance, with a grin on his face.
"Albion," Rian hissed. "I have yet to get funky with it, and yet to do the most funkified part of the dance, so it was not time to clap your hands! You ruined my Jinx welcome dance!"
Albion peered cluelessly. "Was it time to cha-cha real smooth?"
"I could kill you," Rian growled.
Albion ignored her, and began doing the macarena. Her grin got even bigger, having a hard time trying to hide how proud of herself she was, "Look at my cha-cha!" Rian seemed to foam at the mouth.
The hot air balloon touched down on the ground. Jinx released the ropes which were connected to the ducks, and they all flew back towards the direction in which they came. The boy looked around the pasture. "Greetings, everyone."
Rian took a breath, preparing a welcoming poem. Albion interrupted, "Hi Jinxy!" Rian glared.
< Your bird shit all over me, > Icis grumbled, wiping the feces off her with her bare hands.
"Hello Alby," Jinx smiled. "And hello to you too, Icis. And is that Mosh over there? Hello to you, too! I believe I can smell Kitty's masculinity from inside the ship, he must still be sleeping? Tell him I say hello if someone sees him before I do."
"I'm here too," Rian beamed, forgetting all previous annoyances.
Jinx looked around the meadow. He opened the basket's door, and stepped out. "Has Arbron arrived yet?"
< Negative, > Mosh said, once again coming closer towards the group.
"Well, I seem to be most nervous for his arrival. You see, it must have been a couple months ago, I bumped into him while I was tacking Quack-A-Lack, Quackers, Ducky, Mallard, and Jexel on a road tripped when I bumped into him. I let the ducks do their own thing, and he and I just hung out a bit, and we caught up. It was rather nice. Let's see, we played some putt-putt golf, saw a movie, and had dinner together. I believe I had this tofu plate, and he, being the extremely macho-man that he is had steak. It was cooked rare! Can you all believe it? Anyway, I think he had mashed potatoes, too. They asked him if gravy was okay with it, but he said butter would be even better..."
Icis shifted her weight to one side as Jinx continued to ramble on. She wondered if he would ever stop talking.
"...and we ended up going back to my car. The ducks hadn't made their way back yet, so he kept me company. Anywho, and now, a couple months later, I believe that I'm carrying Arbron's child inside of me."
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“HOW--” Rian choked out before she was cut off by a gleeful Mosh.
< Well you see, when one warrior loves another-- >
“NO SHUT UP!” Rian shrieked with a southern twang. “I’ll have you know that I am pregnant with Jinx’s baby!”
No one paid Rian much attention. Icis and Mosh were staring at Jinx with some mixture of amusement and horror. Kitty had come out of the ship to rub Albion’s back.
“Oh Arbron.. Arbron..” Albion sniffled.
*
Elsewhere, Arbron waited outside of the train station for Tom to arrive. It was well past the time the human had agreed to meet him and the Andalite was becoming impatient. Finally a angry shout drew Arbron’s attention and he trotted over to see what was the matter.
“You will let me pass! My life depends upon this suit of armor!” Tom said. The turnstile agent folded his arms and stared.
“You can’t fit.”
There was Tom, wearing a shark cage. Arbron groaned.
“Don’t tell me,” Tom sniffed, “that this station lacks the simple technology to expand a pathway for my special needs. This is an outrage! Why we Ellimists had this down before the Andalites did!”
< Dude, we’re late! > Arbron said. Tom noticed Arbron there and appeared sheepish.
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< And it won’t fit, “Ellimist“! > Arbron whipped his tail faster than Tom had time to react. The cage fell apart around him. The half-mile long line of people that had been waiting behind Tom began to cheer. Tears welled in the human’s eyes. < ..Are you crying? You know what you said about mascara.. >
“OF COURSE I’M NOT CRYING! LET’S GO!” Tom yelled in a very masculine voice. The duo made their way to the rent-a-car and were on their way.
*
Meanwhile, Jinx was setting up a picnic. As he salvaged what was left of the filthy vegetable thins that Rian had spread around, the nothlit cupped his growing belly happily.
As Icis passed by, she totally accidentally kicked him in the stomach, causing an instant miscarriage. < Oops! >
Rian wailed.
*
“I needed that cage, you know,” Tom said softly.
Arbron rolled all four eyes. < The last time I talked to Icis, she said she had converted to Eastern religion and forgone her ways of violence. >
“That smells like a trap.”
< Dude, get over it. Did you know I am going to be a father now? >
“..We could get that taken care of,” Tom said as he lay his hand atop Arbron’s.
< But I’ve never been so happy in my entire life! Jinx will make a wonderful mother! >
Tom nearly veered off the road.
*
“You horrible bitch, HOW DARE YOU!” Rian shrieked as she ran at Icis.
Albion began to morph, the stripes appearing on her skin as she bared her teeth at Rian. “You leave Icis alone, it had to be done! Arbron is/was/will be MINE! >
“Stop it everyone!” Jinx cried with his arms raised towards the heavens. “Worry now! I am pregnant again! Arbron’s mighty sperm can bridge any distance!” As they watched in horror, Jinx’s belly began to expand.
Icis and Mosh morphed their humans to vomit.
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"Well, you see," Jinx started. Rian rushed him, rubbing her hands all over his bloated stomach.
"It's a miracle!" She gasped in amazement. "From this day forth, today shall be known as I rubbed Jinx's pregnant belly day! I shall celebrate by pretending to be a fetus myself! In fact, I'll make an umbilical cord out of cardboard and imagine that Jinx's loving nourishment is flowing into my body! And then I'll be complete, and it will be like I myself am the child of Jinx! And I've been residing in small town Georgia as of late, so the fact I'm in love with my parent in a VERY sexual manner won't be looked at as weird!"
"Indeed, Arbron's sperm has been lodged in a very special place inside of me, and whenever I cease to be pregnant...I simply become pregnant again! Until all of his swimmers have fertilized my eggs!" Jinx then stuffed a muddy vegetable thin into his mouth.
Icis turned to Albion, who was still in her tiger morph. "So, uh, Albion...what's going on?" Albion frolicked through the grass, forgetting any previous anger, letting her paws hit the meadow one at a time.
< Oh, just wondering about Lionel Richie. Why does his daughter appear to be so caucasian? >
Icis stared. Rian continued to grope a VERY pregnant Jinx. Mosh continued to spit up his breakfast.
***
< Dude, I feel like we've been driving in circles for hours, > Arbron said watching very similar houses pass that he saw an hour or two before. He stood up in the back of a mini-van, fighting the urge not to hang his head out the window to feel the air rush against his face. < Are you sure that you know where you're going? >
"Uh, of course I do. It's THE meadow, how do you not realize we're on our way?"
< We've passed the same porn shop half a dozen times. I only know it's the same one because it's advertising pink suede strap-ons. And every time I question how I don't imagine suede feeling very good inside of someone. >
Tom shook his head. In reality, he was only a few miles away from the meadow, and had been driving in circles avoiding making his arrival. He sighed, took a deep breath, and turned onto the dirt road he should have hours prior. "I hope you and Jinx make great parents," Tom said with a deep sigh. "It was nice being able to know you."
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