Oh god oh god oh god
Oh my god the most awkward thing in the world just happened to me. A nun was standing by the bulletin boards trying to get signatures to prevent the Freedom of Choice Act from going through. She stops me and asks if I have discussed this at my chuch yet and if I would sign (ME? R U SRS?) and I decided to tell the truth and tell her that I'm pro-choice so I wouldn't feel right signing against it. Now I know that's not what she wants to hear, but I didn't want to lie. As with anything, there are opposing viewpoints that need to be explored. I'm not trying to ruffle feathers-- I was apologetic, and said I know it's a tough issue to talk about. I don't LIKE abortions, nobody does. I figured she'd let me go after that.
Well, she thinks that I must just not know enough about it, because of course if I knew enough I would agree with her! So she asks me if I've taken ethics classes, says that it's not okay to commit an act of evil to stave off other ills, etc. Now she's not angry or anything, she's very amicable, but I'm getting really uncomfortable as I know I'm now going to have to say very offensive things to this sweet old lady who just wants to do good in the world. I told her more or less that I just didn't agree, so she asks if I've read about the effects it has on women.
Oh boy.
I told her I have two close friends who have had abortions, I've seen it first hand. I told her I'm not going to lie and say it's always good, but one of them had an ectopic pregnancy and at that point it's really the only option. I also said that I don't think either side is really right or wrong. This is where she starts to get a look like she's not so amused by my shenanigans anymore. So I apologized and said I hoped she got the signatures she needed and to have a nice day, and took that opportunity to duck out.
This is a really tough issue because to me, this is perspective. She thinks an abortion is a death and I don't. There's an impasse, we can't go anywhere from there. Neither of us are going to change our minds. I think she has a valid viewpoint and I respect it but to her I just said I think it's okay to murder babies and probably offended her pretty greatly. When things like this come up, I don't know if it's better to lie and avoid offending the other person or to be honest and risk having them think you're evil. I think that when it comes to issues like this, it's important for people who disagree to communicate and challenge each other's viewpoints. I don't want to just tell her what she wants to hear and say I already signed because she needs to hear what I have to say and I need to hear what she has to say even though neither of us are going to budge.
However, I keep thinking I handled this situation really badly and that I shouldn't have said anything contrary to her. I don't want to make anyone angry. I tried to be nice and open-minded to what she was saying because I didn't disagree with a lot of it, but just by having the viewpoint that I have I'm going to cause her some amount of anguish. I feel bad about upsetting her. Now she probably thinks I'm a bad person.
I mentioned it to my anthropology professor (who is all about challenging perspectives) and he told me about a friend of his who works in the Vatican archives whose priest from his childhood church in Jersey wouldn't marry he and his fiance because she wasn't Catholic and he thought that was wrong. The cardinal that oversaw his work at the vatican, on the other hand, thought it was fine and married them in St. Peter's. He laughed and said that even within the church the definition of "wrong" is different all over. It made me feel a little bit better.
Well, she thinks that I must just not know enough about it, because of course if I knew enough I would agree with her! So she asks me if I've taken ethics classes, says that it's not okay to commit an act of evil to stave off other ills, etc. Now she's not angry or anything, she's very amicable, but I'm getting really uncomfortable as I know I'm now going to have to say very offensive things to this sweet old lady who just wants to do good in the world. I told her more or less that I just didn't agree, so she asks if I've read about the effects it has on women.
Oh boy.
I told her I have two close friends who have had abortions, I've seen it first hand. I told her I'm not going to lie and say it's always good, but one of them had an ectopic pregnancy and at that point it's really the only option. I also said that I don't think either side is really right or wrong. This is where she starts to get a look like she's not so amused by my shenanigans anymore. So I apologized and said I hoped she got the signatures she needed and to have a nice day, and took that opportunity to duck out.
This is a really tough issue because to me, this is perspective. She thinks an abortion is a death and I don't. There's an impasse, we can't go anywhere from there. Neither of us are going to change our minds. I think she has a valid viewpoint and I respect it but to her I just said I think it's okay to murder babies and probably offended her pretty greatly. When things like this come up, I don't know if it's better to lie and avoid offending the other person or to be honest and risk having them think you're evil. I think that when it comes to issues like this, it's important for people who disagree to communicate and challenge each other's viewpoints. I don't want to just tell her what she wants to hear and say I already signed because she needs to hear what I have to say and I need to hear what she has to say even though neither of us are going to budge.
However, I keep thinking I handled this situation really badly and that I shouldn't have said anything contrary to her. I don't want to make anyone angry. I tried to be nice and open-minded to what she was saying because I didn't disagree with a lot of it, but just by having the viewpoint that I have I'm going to cause her some amount of anguish. I feel bad about upsetting her. Now she probably thinks I'm a bad person.
I mentioned it to my anthropology professor (who is all about challenging perspectives) and he told me about a friend of his who works in the Vatican archives whose priest from his childhood church in Jersey wouldn't marry he and his fiance because she wasn't Catholic and he thought that was wrong. The cardinal that oversaw his work at the vatican, on the other hand, thought it was fine and married them in St. Peter's. He laughed and said that even within the church the definition of "wrong" is different all over. It made me feel a little bit better.