#023
I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study I don't want to study
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Oh well, this is it - where boredom drives you to the brink of insanity. I need to find my bearing, I need a holding ground but for what & where? Questions I've stopped pondering and searching for curiosity like a black hole, suck you in this pool of nothingness. I'm tired of wanting more, of knowing more, of thinking more.
And I want, need, crave, and desire more in-depth conversations.
I'm sick of the ordinary "how're you?" followed by the almost instantaneously reply, "fine, thank you, how about you?" talks. I wanna get real and be in touch with the world around me, to feel the rain droplets on my skin, to hear the echoes as I scream and shout across the beach, to see the hordes of birds migrating North as the sun sets, to awe at what an amazing sight it is. And to be grateful of what nature has to present to us.
And I wanna write, I wanna feel the gliding of my ink pen as I manoeuvre across these yellowed paper, word by word, line by line, churning out the deepest of the deepest thoughts, revealing the highest of the highest emotions, of heartaches that sting, of sincerity that melts, of generosity that touches, and of love that is unbridled by any form.
I wanna something that is intangible and indescribable, yet so penetratingly felt and heard.
And she finds excitement everywhere around her, alone.