What the fuck is this chick doing to me?
So... I guess KC wants nothing to do with me. I'm blocked on FB. Was in Orlando, told her I would be... didn't respond to my call... Tried to text her today, too... didn't respond. Like... fine... fuck off.
Like... she see some other dude. She gives me a ton of maybes. Then comes over to my house and sleeps in my bed... Cuddles with me and stuff. Kiss. Whatever. Fine. Then, nothing. Like... what the fuck did I do? Except tell you I liked you and you said you'd want to see me... BEFORE you saw this other guy. Like... what the fuck? What the fuck am I? What the fuck is so wrong with me that you don't want to see or talk to me anymore?
Why the fuck would I be complaining about this girl who doesn't want shit to do with me? Because... I've experienced this shit before. I hate it. Like... what the fuck? Like... you give me a ton of maybes... then nothing. What the fuck? And now I'm all depressed and sad and shit because of her.
The last time this happened... was with Sabrina. I don't even know what to do, now. I'm friends with Sabrina, now. Like... OK... maybe not fully friends. I still like her... and I feel a little weird around her. But, let's be honest... I knew I always would because of what she made me feel. But... I'm trying very hard to put that behind us... like... 5 years later.
Why can't someone just like me? Like... why do I have to work so damn hard... harder than it seems than anyone else to find someone interesting and that I like? I just don't know. I really don't know. And it's honestly beginning to piss me off. I just need to get out of this fucking mood. I hate this rollercoaster shit. I just want to be just... flat. Like... I hate being up and down and shit. It's worse than just being down all the time. It's like... having a taste of something great... then having it taken away from you. Taken from you so quickly that you don't even know what the fuck happened.
Like... she see some other dude. She gives me a ton of maybes. Then comes over to my house and sleeps in my bed... Cuddles with me and stuff. Kiss. Whatever. Fine. Then, nothing. Like... what the fuck did I do? Except tell you I liked you and you said you'd want to see me... BEFORE you saw this other guy. Like... what the fuck? What the fuck am I? What the fuck is so wrong with me that you don't want to see or talk to me anymore?
Why the fuck would I be complaining about this girl who doesn't want shit to do with me? Because... I've experienced this shit before. I hate it. Like... what the fuck? Like... you give me a ton of maybes... then nothing. What the fuck? And now I'm all depressed and sad and shit because of her.
The last time this happened... was with Sabrina. I don't even know what to do, now. I'm friends with Sabrina, now. Like... OK... maybe not fully friends. I still like her... and I feel a little weird around her. But, let's be honest... I knew I always would because of what she made me feel. But... I'm trying very hard to put that behind us... like... 5 years later.
Why can't someone just like me? Like... why do I have to work so damn hard... harder than it seems than anyone else to find someone interesting and that I like? I just don't know. I really don't know. And it's honestly beginning to piss me off. I just need to get out of this fucking mood. I hate this rollercoaster shit. I just want to be just... flat. Like... I hate being up and down and shit. It's worse than just being down all the time. It's like... having a taste of something great... then having it taken away from you. Taken from you so quickly that you don't even know what the fuck happened.