Friday the 13th!!!!!
For the last couple of days.. its been good, I finally got the guts to tell Brandon that I didn't want to be his g/f.. ._.'' and I feel like he's stalking me... >.>''at least he doesn't know where I live... he's a great guy.. but.. ._. no... x.x and I know he still likes me.. * dies * oh well.. Well, I've talked to Liz about Cody once again.. * sigh * I hate lecturing her... I just want to call Cody and tell him to stop hurting her! He's so controlling.. he's so mean to her... and he is obsessed with sex... I know he doesn't like me, and he's making her move down to California.. and today while she was talking to him, she said, " baby, please, I gotta talk to Rachel, I'll never see her again after this year " ._. I just said in my head.. what the hell...? ._. She finally got off the phone with him... and she was pissed.. ( as usual.. ) And I lectured her... and I got her thinking... ._. I tend to do that... >.>'' whoops... then it was quiet for a while.. then I just.. went to 5th period.. and blah.. we were learning how to " draw people " x.x which I already know... so I helped some people that were obviously NOT PAYING ATTENTION! ._. and I drew a head on the board... x.x I was reallly nervous... but I felt really good about myself... because well.. ^^ I got to darw on the board! HA! IN YOUR FACE!!! * points to people in her class * >.>''' hehe.. my ego of course kicks in.. lol oh well.. I just want to be good at something for once... ._. I have no talent.. I'm not the best bowler... I'm not the best sax player.. I'm not the best artist... I'm not the best person in the world.... * sigh * And I don't think I'll ever be a good lover either... Everytime I got a b/f, I always cheated on them... with.. * sigh * Ryan... I hate admiting that.. I cheated on Tony.. and I cheated on Robert... * sigh * that took a lot of guts to say.... And of course.. I just happend to like Robert at the beginning of the year... .-. and then he got all bitchy at me for going with Jon... that confused me.. he rejects me.. and then gets all bitchy when I was going out with Jon... I'm not a good person AT ALL!!! I"ve lied, I've cheated I've gone with someone just because that person asked me out.. I've gone for looks.. I have toyed with someones feelings... on purpose.. and on accident... why does High School have to be such a bitch? And now their are fucking rumors about ME BEING A FUCKING LESBIAN!!! ._. I had someone in 2nd period ask me if I was one or not!
that didn't stop my day from becoming shit... I was okay during 3rd.. and 4th.. and 5th... and 6th.. I just talked to Katie and got to catch up with her. I've realized I've gotten over Ryan a lot. That made me feel so much better! then when I got to bowling.. oh god I did not want ot bowl AT ALL! I was just.. murfy.... we bowled Bakers... and we lost to Harlod.... ._. then mostly everyone left be Trish.. so me and Trish bowled... I got a 136 my first game.. then a 201.. ._. god I was pissed the 1st game... then I called Liz.. left her a message so she could do me a favor... * sigh * me and liz have been just.. talking for the past couple of days... and well, I've been trying to hang out with dez as much as I can... we've been dumb the last couple of days.. about 2 days ago.. she was petting my hair.. and she said it was so soft.. that it was like an orgasm in her hand... I couldn't stop laughing... it was just so damn funny! then the next day.. me and her were fighting over a pillow... >.> its a sexy purple pillow... lol and well.. >.> we kept on resuling.. and then.. she had it.. jumped on her bed.. but.. she slid off.. and ran into her book case.. and said fuck really loud.. * giggles while she's typing it * it was so fucking funny! my god.. I was laughing for 10 minutes.... she act's too cute for her own good.. lol and then, when my dad was picking me up.. she said I pushed her off her bed into the book case...
._. obviously my dad didn't believe her.. and said I punched her in the nose.. ( I kinda did.. but it was an accident!!! ) I just miss having fun like that... and the funkay shmell... >.> ( don't ask ) Being with Dez.. is like.. she's family... I can go to their house while no one is home.. and watch t.v. that's how much they trust me.. over 8 years of a relationship.. she's almost known me for HALF OF MY LIFE!!! If Dez ever died... I wouldn't know how to function... She's my soul mate friend... and I hope I never loose contact with her.. Dez knows EVERYTHING I have done.. and she says to me that everyone has done something wrong.. even little innocent Dez has!! which will not be brought up.... >< and she knows who I have crushes on... ._. not even Liz/ Kris/ Jessica know.. >.> no offense jess.. you just don't know him.. so it would seem weird... ._. because you'd have to know him.. and stuff.. and why we gave him the nick-name " Angel Soft " lol he's such a cutie! * cough * >.>''' well.. I think I feel better now...