T.T the cruelty of people.....
* sigh * for the past.. 3 days... I've been trying to go over to my friends house... >< and well.. o.o'' today is the 3rd day.. he still hasn't called... >< but he JUST signed onto msn.. pfft.. >< let me guess.. I can't come over... AGAIN.... * sigh * >< gah.. he hasn't said anything.... oh well... * sigh * jerk... well... >< now that I've tried to go over to his house.. 3 times.. I've been struck down 3 times... each time has crushed me even worse... * sigh * the first time.. tim came over... and Ryan said that I couldn't because tim was over.. even though I had plans with tim first... the second time... HE FORGOT TO ASK.......... >< and his parents had something else planned for him... and now today.. he's going to some surprise party... well.. I hope he debates on it.. because.. well.. you just don't cancel on someone 3 times in a row... and then say that you love them.. >< I feel like their is a lie somewhere in their... I do love him.. well.. since I'm a teenager.. I think I love him.. I still don't know the true meaning of love... * sigh * lets just say.. I care about him ALOT... and well.. everytime he's done that to me.. I've cried everytime.. just like now... * sigh * the first time I just.. cried and feel asleep.. then my dad woke me up when he got home and well.. he didn't know I was crying... but I bet he figured it out.. he sat on my bed and woke me up and said " how come your home honey? " I told him that Ryan canceled on me... and he said " well why? " I told him that tim was over.. and well.. yeah.. me and tim yeah.. aren't really the best of friends.. we can get along with eachother.. >< for about 5 minutes... and my dad said, " well, you can try tomorrow " I said I was..
then the next day rolled around... >< canceled on me AGAIN! o.o'' for that.. I took a long bath and cried.... but... he forgot to ask.. which pissed me off... well.. I just.. kinda.. got out of the baht tub, and feel asleep on the floor with a towel on me ( just in case someone came in.. O.O don't wanna have someone see me naked ) and I heard my dad get home.. I got dressed.. drained the water out of the bath tub... and took an hour nap.. my dad came in.. again.. and asked what was up with him this time.... I told my dad.. and he said, " Rachel.... I'm sorry he did it to you again, he dosen't seem to be worth your time honey " I said that well.. I have nothing to do.. I just want to get out of the house.. and I did want to spend time with ryan.. I just.. * sigh * and now today... been waiting for a call for about an hour.... and getting even more depressed.. * sigh * 2 people have called... and they weren't him.... my god.... >< what is with me.... this is just proof I won't have a good day for a very long time... on wendsday I thought I was going to.. and yesterday.. I got a kiki plushie and 3000 gold! and made an anwsome new friend.. >< then Ryan cancels on me.. and god... >< what did I ever do to deserve bad luck... I've been caused alot of pain.. and me dwelling on the problems isn't making it any better.. all I want is just to go somewhere.. is that so wrong of me to ask? >< I didn't think it was.. but I guess to Ryan it is... * sigh * I thought you cared about me Ryan... what did I ever do to you? Even at the end of the year party... I tried to spend time with you.. but I had such a bad time... I even cried at that party... I just wish... to have one good day for once.. * sigh * I think I'm just going to garden the strawberries... there's nothing better else to do... waiting is just making even more depressed... * sigh * I'm so lost and confussed right now.... ><'' he says he loves me... but why do I feel like I'm the last person he'll ever thing about?
then the next day rolled around... >< canceled on me AGAIN! o.o'' for that.. I took a long bath and cried.... but... he forgot to ask.. which pissed me off... well.. I just.. kinda.. got out of the baht tub, and feel asleep on the floor with a towel on me ( just in case someone came in.. O.O don't wanna have someone see me naked ) and I heard my dad get home.. I got dressed.. drained the water out of the bath tub... and took an hour nap.. my dad came in.. again.. and asked what was up with him this time.... I told my dad.. and he said, " Rachel.... I'm sorry he did it to you again, he dosen't seem to be worth your time honey " I said that well.. I have nothing to do.. I just want to get out of the house.. and I did want to spend time with ryan.. I just.. * sigh * and now today... been waiting for a call for about an hour.... and getting even more depressed.. * sigh * 2 people have called... and they weren't him.... my god.... >< what is with me.... this is just proof I won't have a good day for a very long time... on wendsday I thought I was going to.. and yesterday.. I got a kiki plushie and 3000 gold! and made an anwsome new friend.. >< then Ryan cancels on me.. and god... >< what did I ever do to deserve bad luck... I've been caused alot of pain.. and me dwelling on the problems isn't making it any better.. all I want is just to go somewhere.. is that so wrong of me to ask? >< I didn't think it was.. but I guess to Ryan it is... * sigh * I thought you cared about me Ryan... what did I ever do to you? Even at the end of the year party... I tried to spend time with you.. but I had such a bad time... I even cried at that party... I just wish... to have one good day for once.. * sigh * I think I'm just going to garden the strawberries... there's nothing better else to do... waiting is just making even more depressed... * sigh * I'm so lost and confussed right now.... ><'' he says he loves me... but why do I feel like I'm the last person he'll ever thing about?