(no subject)
I don't think I'm going to cosplay Watari, next summer. There are, all of a sudden, 348239048134890320 Watari cosplayers, now. I, unfortunately, have met a few of them. Quite a few of them are pretty much not in touch with reality whatsoever, and not even in a mild way, more of a "why aren't they on medications?" way. I wish I was joking. Besides, who the hell wants ME at a con? Get real. It'll be like a high school dance all over again. I'll show up, feel terribly out of place, sit in a corner really lonely, be totally ignored, then probably leave prematurely feeling awful. Other people probably are cosplaying or will cosplay him better than I ever could. Besides, the fact that I have no one to go with makes it all the worse. Wow! A hotel room ALONE, sitting around a con ALONE, going back ALONE, making an entire long ass road trip ALONE. OMFG how much fun can someone have?!?! *eyeroll*
Most of the people in the YnM fandom push me aside anyways. I'm ignored in almost all of these communities for YnM online, tell me how many of these people are people that cosplay and go to cons... now you do the math and tell me how I will rate, amoung a bunch of people that look right past me ONLINE, when we're all in person! I feel badly enough about myself, but being totally ignored, left out, and all alone would undoubtedly make me feel even more inferior.
I was really looking forward to it until I started rationalizing what a kind of time I'd have. I'd like to avoid further rejection, thanks.
Anyways, I didn't wake up sick, this morning. There's a first. I don't wanna talk anymore.
Most of the people in the YnM fandom push me aside anyways. I'm ignored in almost all of these communities for YnM online, tell me how many of these people are people that cosplay and go to cons... now you do the math and tell me how I will rate, amoung a bunch of people that look right past me ONLINE, when we're all in person! I feel badly enough about myself, but being totally ignored, left out, and all alone would undoubtedly make me feel even more inferior.
I was really looking forward to it until I started rationalizing what a kind of time I'd have. I'd like to avoid further rejection, thanks.
Anyways, I didn't wake up sick, this morning. There's a first. I don't wanna talk anymore.