TDS (act 1, chapter 6)
CHAPTER SIX: i’ll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away
The noise hit him before everything else did. Adam gasped sharply; he realized that he'd been in a relatively quiet place the past few days, inside the UNIT base, and it was like they'd stepped into a blender full of every possible sound in the universe, overlaid by a mechanical kind of humming, like vast engines. He had to blink several times to work out what he was seeing. Dazzling, colorful screens, covering entire walls; masses of bodies moving in different directions; unidentifiable machines taking up what space remained between the people.
And the people. It looked a lot like a convention of some kind, like when Comic-con was going on in San Diego, except the tentacles moved; the swarm of little marshmallow-like bodies were too small to fit a human child in; that looked like very real fire crackling along the twisting shell of a giant snail.
"The ship should be this way," came Captain Jack's voice, startling him out of his stupefied staring. Adam peered to his other side to check that Tommy was okay. His friend was pale, looked almost unsteady, and he was staring at Adam instead of the crazy sights around them. Jack didn’t seem the slightest bit perturbed - as if he’d known what Adam would do.
Adam stepped towards Tommy, worried that he was having another bout of back pain. Tommy ducked his head and shied away. Captain Jack strode away, heading for a wide door that led into a huge, long room that had ships of all shapes and sizes lined along its length, each in its own dock.
Their ship looked... well, like a ship. The Captain showed something to the alien - the person, the person standing at the ramp leading up to it, and the person waved them in. It - he? - looked disgruntled. But maybe that was their natural expression. More people followed the three of them up the ramp and into the ship, and none of them looked happy. Evidently spaceports were like airports - that same sense of disorder, being rushed, held in uncomfortable transition.
Captain Jack led them down a narrow hallway and stopped in front of a door. He pressed his hand against a panel on the wall, which lit up and beeped twice. The door slid open. He got Adam and Tommy to do the same. "This will identify us as occupants of the room, so only we can open the door. There's a panel on the inside - yeah, that one - that you can use to lock the door. If the small light at the top is on, that means it's locked. Easy enough."
The room held a single narrow bed. Captain Jack laid the bag he carried on top of it, and winked at Adam. "Don't worry, the bed's for you guys. I won't be in here a lot, and you can always lock the door if you don't want me barging in." Tommy ducked his head.
"Thanks," said Adam. He felt a little lightheaded, still stuck at he was in a fucking spaceship and oh shit what had he done?
The Captain pulled out a couple of wristwatches from the bag, which he handed to them. It looked like a different model of the one Adam had been wearing, and Adam replaced the old with the new. "The trip will take us about 80 hours, based on Earth measurements of time. Of course, once we're traveling at the speed of light, time on Earth will pass at a different rate, so don’t assume that corresponds to Earth time. Those watches are keyed into my wrist-strap. We can use it to send signals to each other, I'll show you how later."
He tucked the bag in one of the pair of lockers that were the only other furniture in the cramped space. "Right. I'll take a look around the ship, leave you guys to settle in." He was gone with a whirl of his greatcoat.
Tommy sat down heavily on the bed and rested his head in his hands.
Adam tentatively sat down next to him. "Crazy, huh?"
Tommy didn’t say anything, or even acknowledged Adam’s presence. The illumination in the room came from glowing strips lining all four corners. The light was bright and harsh, bringing out the dark skin under Tommy's eyes. Adam was sure he looked like shit, himself, so he was glad to not have a mirror nearby.
“I guess I’ll unpack,” said Adam after sitting in the awkward silence for a while.
“Adam.” Tommy stood. “What. The. Fuck.”
Adam relaxed back down, letting Tommy loom over him. He waved his hands helplessly. “I couldn’t let you go on your own. Not when I’ve been with you all this time. I just… I couldn’t.”
Tommy shoved his hair back, fingers tightening on his own bangs. Adam couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Tommy this pissed. “Adam, this isn’t some fucking vacation. It’s not a game where you get pulled out if it gets too much, Not even Jack knows much about where we’re going. It’s gonna be dangerous, and there’s no turning back. This is real, and you could get hurt. You could die.” Tommy’s face and voice broke at the last; he was breathing fast and he balled his hands into fists.
“Like you think you will?” said Adam, quiet where Tommy had been close to shouting. “You don’t believe you’re coming back. I can see it.”
Tommy let out a frustrated breath, turned away from Adam and slumped against the wall. But he didn’t deny it.
“Well, that’s why,” said Adam. He stared at his own hands. His nail polish was chipped all to hell. “I came so that you’ll come back.” He stood up. The cabin was tiny, he only needed half a step to come up to Tommy. He ignored the stiff line of Tommy’s body and wrapped his arms around Tommy’s middle, lightly pressing their bodies together. He buried his face in Tommy’s hair. “You’re not fucking leaving me, Tommy Joe. I’ll do anything for you, but I’m not crying over a stranger’s body pulled out of a car wreck.”
“Jack can make it so that you’ll believe it’s really me,” said Tommy weakly, but Adam could feel the tension seeping out of his body.
“Maybe my brain will think that. But a part of me will know, Tommy.” A small sob spilled out before Adam could stop it. “Don’t do that to me. Please.”
Tommy turned in his arms, surged up and shoved his lips against Adam’s. “You fucking asshole,” came out in a fierce whisper, and a second later Adam was pushed back, back, hitting the bed and falling on top of it with Tommy following.
The narrow cot was far less comfortable than even Tommy’s room at the UNIT base, but all Adam could think about was Tommy, Tommy’s lips and wandering hands and familiar weight on top of him. And Tommy was hot, like a furnace, and where before he usually slowed down after a bit of petting and light groping, every touch now seemed to make him eager for more. Tommy’s teeth left impressions on his lips, and when Adam pulled back to gulp in some air, Tommy attacked his neck instead, licking and sucking with wild abandon. Adam could only hold on, and spread his legs to let Tommy rut against him.
“Adam,” Tommy breathed onto the abused skin of Adam’s neck. “Adam. Adam, you fucking idiot, I hate you so much.”
“I know, baby,” Adam said, bringing his knees up so he was cradling Tommy’s body. “Sucks for you, ‘cause I’m never letting you go.”
And just like that, all the energy seemed to leave Tommy at once, and he collapsed onto Adam’s chest with a defeated whimper. Adam gently stroked his hair, stared up at the curving ceiling of the alien ship with its alien passengers that was taking them further away from Earth. He tried to imagine having stayed back, and couldn’t, and with a start he realized he’d been humming the song that Tommy had been playing, back in his house in what already felt like a different life.
Adam was unsure about looking around the ship, but his curiosity got the better of him and he left Tommy dozing in the cabin. No one spared him a second glance, and for his part Adam did his best not to ogle too openly. The ship itself was not exactly pretty, mostly bare metal and with wires hanging out in some places, but it was clean, and while everyone minded their own business, there wasn’t any sense of hostile tension.
The first time he came to a window, round like a porthole, he let out a small gasp. He could remember nights in the desert, or when his tour took them to the middle of nowhere, where there’d been more stars in the sky than he’d ever see in a city. But here, where there was no atmosphere in the way, the stars looked like a pile of diamonds splashed across black velvet.
Eventually, he roused himself and continued wandering around the ship. He found a cramped cafeteria, where packs of food and drink were dispensed out of a machine, and a cargo hold full of crates, guarded by a couple of guys that could have passed for human if not for the green-orange patterns on their skin and the thick fur that took the place of their head hair. They had no problem with Adam taking a look into the cargo hold, as long as he didn’t step inside. It didn’t seem to bother them that Adam clearly couldn’t speak their language, they just made their point by miming and employing a few less decipherable gestures. The relatively brief exchange made him feel a lot better about managing in their bewildering new environment. A ship was a ship, and at least he had experience living in one for a while.
He spotted Jack conversing with a humanoid salamander in what must be a kind of common room, but opted to return to the cabin.
Good thing, too, as Tommy was no longer on the bed when he came in. “Tommy? Tommy, what’s wrong?”
Tommy looked up from the corner where he had curled up, clutching his head. "Adam?” He looked ridiculously relieved to see Adam standing there. “Shit. Okay, at least it really is you.”
Adam crouched down next to him and laid a calming hand on his back. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Voices,” muttered Tommy, fingers pressing into his temples. “Well, just one. There’s a fucking voice in my head, Adam, and it’s talking to me. I finally stopped ignoring it, thought something to it, and it fucking answered back, what the fuck.”
“I’ll go get Jack,” said Adam.
Jack questioned Tommy for what felt like hours. Adam did his best to follow along, it was stuff like what conversing with this voice felt like the kinds of things it said. He learned that this voice gave Tommy information, whether he asked for it or not. So Jack started asking fairly simple questions about Earth that both Tommy and Adam would be able to answer, and progressing outwards to the solar system, the galaxy, space travel. Names and places that Adam could only guess at - the Spurious Strongholds, the Shadow Proclamation, Brink Battles, Time Wars. To Adam's further surprise, Jack switched to a different language in the middle of a rather lengthy question, and Tommy didn't seem to notice, answered back in that same language. Jack's face was hard to read. Tommy appeared relatively calm, but Adam could tell that he was quietly freaking out.
Finally, Jack sat back and stared at Tommy for a while. Tommy looked tired and flustered, but stoically endured his scrutiny. Jack nodded to himself and got up, walked out of the room.
"Are you okay?" Adam asked Tommy. Tommy buried his face in his hands. Nodded. Adam murmured something placating and went after Jack.
He found the man in the galley, distractedly stirring a cup of something dark and thick.
"Jack?" Adam prompted, sitting down across from him.
Jack let out a breath. "I guess that confirms Martha’s theory about the implant. Did she tell you? Well, to keep it simple, they downloaded, for lack of a better term, information into his brain. You can think of it like getting a computer chip, though there isn't an actual physical chip - he was implanted with neural packets of data. By my guess, he’s got a working knowledge of the universe equivalent to an average adult of their species. It’s actually standard procedure on a lot of planets to offer it to visitors, though in his case he was obviously not asked. How advanced this knowledge is, of course, hard to guess without seeing their civilization, but it's definitely way in advance of contemporary Earth knowledge."
"Is this... chip, or implant or whatever, hurting him?" asked Adam.
"Aside from freaking him out? It’s not supposed to." Jack took a sip from his cup. "It'd feel just like any other information in your brain; but since you guys are not used to it, he'll probably be put off by having stuff in his head that he doesn't remember putting there. If it helps, plenty of species share knowledge in this manner. Humans will, too. Cuts down on years spent at school."
"So he can speak that same language you use here?"
"Galactic Basic? Yes, and very likely also the dominant language of Lisias. Maybe others. He doesn’t seem to know until someone tries to talk to him."
“But you don’t think it’s what’s causing the seizures and the pain.”
“No. I was never a medical man, but I can tell the signs of major surgery, even if it’s been hidden very well. The problem is that the technology on Earth, even the salvaged alien tech that Torchwood and UNIT use, are not advanced enough to figure out what the traces of biotech mean. All we’ve been able to tell is that the nerves and muscle tissue on his back have been moved around, but we can’t figure out why. There are neural pathways don’t seem to go anywhere. Maybe that’s what’s causing him pain, but we can’t touch them without knowing why they were altered.”
Adam nodded. The two of them sat in companionable silence for a while, the continuous chatter and clatter of the galley washing over them. Everyone kept different hours aboard the ship.
“Jack?”
“Hm?”
“If something happens to me, or to both me and Tommy… make the car crash really spectacular, all right? And if it’s both of us, keep us together.”
Jack grinned, though it didn’t reach his eyes, which looked somber and old. “You got it.”
Tommy was sitting on the bed and staring at himself in a small, handheld mirror. "Hey," said Adam gently. "What, have a pimple?"
This got a small laugh, though Tommy looked like he was ready to cry. "It's... since Jack confirmed that they've fucked around with my mind as well as my body, I've been... it feels worse, you know? Like no matter what was done to my body, at least my mind was mine. I knew it was a pretty strong possibility, all those times I’ve zoned out, but now I can actually feel it. Right here.” He tapped the back of his head. Let out a shaky breath and whispered, “I can’t fucking get away. Even in my own head.”
Adam tentatively laid a hand on Tommy's narrow shoulders. He could feel Tommy relaxing under his touch. He stepped closer, tipped Tommy’s face up so he could look him in the eyes. "Hey there, Tommy Joe."
Tommy's eyes widened. Whatever he saw on Adam’s face changed his expression from frustration to… something else. Adam lightly dragged his fingers over Tommy’s cheekbones, his jaw. He could never get over how delicate Tommy looked. And yet... aliens had fucked around with his mind and body, and they were in space, and he was still holding it together.
"Hey," said Tommy back, almost shyly.
Stick with truth. "This is scary shit, and we’re both in way over our heads. I think I would have gone crazy, in your place. But we’re here, and we'll figure things out, okay?”
Tommy closed his eyes, and for a few minutes he just breathed, in and out, leaning forward and resting his head against Adam’s stomach. “Thanks,” he finally mumbled. He looked up again, and there was a marked shine to his eyes. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Kissing him was the only possible thing. Tommy melted into it immediately, like he always had, lips parting at the first tease of Adam’s tongue. Adam had always gotten off on that trust, on how easily Tommy handed over the reins to him, but now he sat down and gently pulled Tommy’s body to him and felt the weight of that trust, responsibility, someone he cared about placing their wellbeing squarely into his hands.
Fairly soon the play of lips and tongue dominated his mind, and he tried to put everything he felt into the kiss. Tommy laid back and pulled him down, his body blanketing Tommy’s. After a while, he felt dampness on the skin of his face. He couldn’t tell whose it was, maybe both, and either way they shared it between them, smearing over both their faces until they could taste the saltiness where their mouths met.
“Adam,” Tommy whispered. “Please. Please. I need you.”
“Baby,” said Adam, stroking a hand down the line of Tommy’s back. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”
He removed their clothes slowly, gently, kissing Tommy the entire time, until they were lying naked. Hot skin sliding over skin; after everything, it was the most luxurious, intimate feeling in the world Adam curled his fingers around their cocks, started thrusting, drawing out every roll of his body. Tommy’s hands roamed all over, like he couldn’t stop touching Adam, like he was trying to learn every part of Adam by feel. Adam shivered at the glide of those fingers, slender and yet so strong.
“Adam,” gasped Tommy, one leg hooking around Adam’s calf and sliding all the way up until his heel was digging into Adam’s upper thigh. “Adam, please.”
Adam only kissed him even harder, exploring his mouth, because the note of desperation in Tommy’s voice was close to breaking him. He could feel his heart pounding, the heat and tension in his body building with every thrust. He hadn’t done this in a while, just this, and it was crazy intense, Tommy gorgeous and amazing under him.
Their kisses turned sloppy, wet, and garbled sounds came out of Tommy despite Adam’s tongue in his mouth, high and hitched, like he was just gone. Adam pulled back a little to breathe, and he saw that Tommy’s eyes spoke nothing of aliens or space travel or nightmares, just sex and heat, and all focused on Adam. Like how it should be.
Tommy’s hand joined Adam’s around their cocks, making the grip even tighter and fuller. Adam dropped clumsy kissed down Tommy’s jaw, licked into Tommy’s ear. Tommy’s scent took over his senses, and he tried to fill his lungs with it. When he latched his lips onto Tommy’s neck, sucking hard, Tommy let out a soft cry and arched up, thick wet warmth spreading over their stomachs and hands. Adam looked down and saw his cock dragging over the mess. Tommy batted his hand away and started jacking him, fingers slick with his own come. Within seconds Adam was moaning loudly and swearing Tommy’s name, a little surprised at the sudden punch of pleasure, like he’d forgotten what this was about.
They laid there breathing for long minutes. Eventually Adam leaned over the bed and grabbed his discarded shirt, used it to clean them both up. He needed to ask Jack how they did laundry here. The tiredness hadn’t left Tommy’s face, but he looked a little less on edge. Tommy pulled out the folded blanket from under the bed and spread it over them both.
“So,” said Tommy, after Adam turned the light off and they were as comfortable as they were gonna get, “I’m kinda terrified. Like, out of my fucking mind.”
Adam let out a long breath. “Yeah, so am I.”
"Here."
Something slid across the table, slipping right under Adam's fingers. He blinked at Jack, and picked up the object. It looked like a stylized teardrop, silver-grey like metal, only it felt like more like a sponge in his grip.
Jack sat down on the bench next to him. "That's your translator. Let me do it." He took the translator from Adam and pressed it to the back of Adam's right ear. It was squished into his skin, and stayed there when Jack removed his hand. For a moment there was nothing, then Adam felt it move. It seemed to be lengthening, the thin end creeping up over the shell of his ear. Adam clenched his fists and resisted the urge to snatch the thing off when the wandering end slipped down into his ear. The translator felt warm, and he couldn't feel the part inside his ear.
A sudden jolt, like an electric shock, and all sound faded out, replaced by a tinny ringing. It lasted less than a minute, the noise of the world rushing back in. Only now there was a light voice overlaying all the conversations going on around him, providing the English for the handful of threads of dialogue that he could pick up clearly.
Neer usi lenoa larcup enas said Jack, his voice trailed by a more electronic but surprisingly close imitation: "Now try saying something."
"This thing feels weird." This time the translation was audible, emitting from the device, Tuam nill toral, tinny but still clear.
"It takes some getting used to," said Jack. "But use it long enough and you won't even think about it. The software's pretty decent, for this day and age. Just keep in mind that it will assume that the voice closest to you, and the language spoken right before you speak, is the one you're talking to. Not a problem most of the time - when traveling, nearly everyone wears some kind of translator, and on planets there's usually one dominant language, but it can be a headache in big meetings."
Jack’s version of a visiting-alien-world-for-the-first-time briefing went something like:
“People are people everywhere. They have families, they fall in love; some are greedy little bastards, some will risk their lives to help you. They all have annoying little habits. Just don’t get hung up on whether they have claws or fangs or wings. How they dress and what they eat is no business of yours, unless the latter includes you. Remember that you’re an alien to them. I’ve got a gun, but most of the time the best defense is to run really, really fast. Any questions?”
Adam and Tommy were ready to go, both bags packed, by the time Jack came to the cabin to get them. Adam wondered if the Captain had really forgone sleep the entire ride, because he hadn’t stayed longer than a few minutes in their cabin, aside from when he’d questioned Tommy. But there was a hint of a self-satisfied smile on Jack’s expression, a certain relaxedness to the line of his shoulders, that made Adam think that he’d gotten a bit of sleep after all.
“Normally these are escape pods,” explained Jack when he took them down to the level of the cargo hold. They didn’t go into the hold itself, but circled around it to where there was a line of round hatches on the floor. “I’ve paid the pilot to disengage one as he swings over Lisias’ atmosphere. I’ll land it outside of Letsis, we go into the city and find a good doctor or scientist, fix Tommy up again, and I’ll use my manipulator to take us home.”
“Got it,” said Adam. Tommy nodded.
Jack opened the hatch and climbed down the ladder first. Tommy followed him, giving Adam a small smile. Adam made sure to close the hatch over his head as he descended. A dim blue light was the only illumination inside the pod. It was cramped, like the inside of an egg. There was a pilot’s seat for Jack and a bench in the back for Adam and Tommy, with straps to keep them from bouncing everywhere.
They waited for what felt like hours. Then there was a faint beeping noise, and the blue light pulsed. Jack glanced over his shoulder at them and said, “Hold on.”
A loud whine, the clank of metal, and the whole pod shook with sickening vigor, until finally Adam felt it disengage from the ship. He felt like his insides had gone through a blender. Tommy looked equally sick. There were a few minutes of calmness, and Adam imagined a tiny metal ball floating over a big Earth-like planet. The shaking and rattling started again, but it wasn’t as violent, though the pod grew distinctly warm.
“Going through the atmosphere,” announced Jack.
He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, trying to breathe evenly and not think about crashing right into hard ground. They would probably make a small crater. But Jack didn’t appear panicked. Adam couldn’t even remember grabbing Tommy’s hand, he just found himself holding it.
Finally, the shaking died down to a low vibration, and Adam could feel something different in the way the pod was moving. He looked up when Jack gave a loud whoop.
“City of Letsis sighted,” reported Jack. “Looking for a landing sight. Have a look at this view, boys.”
Round panels Adam hadn’t noticed before slid back, allowing them to look out of small windows. Tommy let out a soft gasp. The sun was in the horizon, though Adam couldn’t tell if it was rising or setting. One of the moons, on its crescent phase, shone clear and bright outside his window, and he could see the second moon through the window on Tommy’s side.
Beneath them, as far as he could see, was a dense, rolling forest. The canopy was so thick that he couldn’t even see the ground through them, though it could be the low light. And in the distance, oddly-shaped like a glittering amoeba, was what must be the city Letsis.
“It’s beautiful,” said Adam. And strange, too; the city had a very clear boundary, and there were no lights or signs of settlement beyond it. He looked over and saw a very peculiar expression on Tommy’s face. “Tommy?”
Tommy shook his head - he didn’t want to think about it. Fine, he would tell Adam when he was ready.
Jack landed the pod in the closest clearing he could find to the city. He grumbled complaints about inconvenient forests as he threw them their bags and unlocked the hatch. Adam gestured for Tommy to go out first, and followed close behind.
The second they step out onto soft grass, there was a moment of utter quiet before the ground under their feet disappeared in a sickening lurch of movement. Adam could feel himself being thrown into the air, heat scorching his back, ears ringing. He saw a wall coming toward him, or it could be the ground - he couldn’t figure out which way is up. The very air itself seemed to be rippling, and there was a tightness to his chest that could be pain, and only parts of him felt the shock of impact. He didn’t try to shout, couldn’t find the air to. The only thing he focused on was the familiar hand he'd grabbed in the heartbeat before chaos struck, chance or gut instinct warning him. The answering grip was crushing his fingers, and it was one of the most glorious feelings in the world. He couldn’t even see Tommy, didn’t know how what was happening or how much danger they were in.
But he was never letting go.
END OF ACT I
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