siiiiiiggghhhhhhhh
god, some kids are just awefull...... im starting to loose my patience at the job. middle schoolers are GRR........
anyways, i hate sitting alone on the rocks...... theres nothing to do... nowhere to go..... noone to see...... sigh..... i've been so bored today, tired, and my back is killing me.... gavin needs to do better on those massages.... they aint workin'....i still need to read harry potter.... i cant believe myself..... i havent read it yet and i used to be a harry potter fanatic!! whats wrong with me??? ah, well, people change... i guess its not my highest interest anymore..... so yea.... the puppy's so cute.... (so random)...... sigh..... in a week i head off to mexico... as always im nervous anout the plane, and kinda sad since its gonna be me and gavin's 7 month official anniversary... but im leavi the 12 or 13th, so we can spend it together.... wow, two weeks withought him..... i wonder how we're gonna deal.... we wont be able to talk this time.... i feel this energy around me...... something is gonna happen..... something is in the air and i can feel it... im nervous cuz everytime i get like this, this feeling, something always show's up.... something always happens..... i dont know what it is.. but its gonna be important....david told me that i cant loose weight if im always stressed.... which can explain why the "diet" isnt working.... so, thT SUCKS.... i wish i could stay out longer...... so i can be with my baby...... i wanna sleep over his house.... 3 times a week.....but ohwell...... im kinda glad we got into that fight yesterday..... u needed the awakening and i needed the realization.... i cant believe how it all roots down to that one event..... kinda sucks.... because my shrink said that i will never fully get over it... that its not possible... it will always be there..... so in a way that kinda sucks.... i love you so much...... i just wish you understood me better..... im so sick of crying... but sometimes......
its necessary....
goodnight.
anyways, i hate sitting alone on the rocks...... theres nothing to do... nowhere to go..... noone to see...... sigh..... i've been so bored today, tired, and my back is killing me.... gavin needs to do better on those massages.... they aint workin'....i still need to read harry potter.... i cant believe myself..... i havent read it yet and i used to be a harry potter fanatic!! whats wrong with me??? ah, well, people change... i guess its not my highest interest anymore..... so yea.... the puppy's so cute.... (so random)...... sigh..... in a week i head off to mexico... as always im nervous anout the plane, and kinda sad since its gonna be me and gavin's 7 month official anniversary... but im leavi the 12 or 13th, so we can spend it together.... wow, two weeks withought him..... i wonder how we're gonna deal.... we wont be able to talk this time.... i feel this energy around me...... something is gonna happen..... something is in the air and i can feel it... im nervous cuz everytime i get like this, this feeling, something always show's up.... something always happens..... i dont know what it is.. but its gonna be important....david told me that i cant loose weight if im always stressed.... which can explain why the "diet" isnt working.... so, thT SUCKS.... i wish i could stay out longer...... so i can be with my baby...... i wanna sleep over his house.... 3 times a week.....but ohwell...... im kinda glad we got into that fight yesterday..... u needed the awakening and i needed the realization.... i cant believe how it all roots down to that one event..... kinda sucks.... because my shrink said that i will never fully get over it... that its not possible... it will always be there..... so in a way that kinda sucks.... i love you so much...... i just wish you understood me better..... im so sick of crying... but sometimes......
its necessary....
goodnight.