The kind of power Sam carries here is always just a little bit unnerving. It doesn't matter who's holding that authority, it's huge and threatening and kind of unbelievable. I caught myself rereading little bits here and there, really trying to impress on myself that no matter how exaggerated I thought that power was, it wasn't enough. It's overwhelming and unreal. Must have been terrifying for Sam to get sucked further and further in, and wake up one day and realize he can't get out. Something about that (not a direct quote, but I hope I get the gist well enough you can figure out what I'm talking about) statement to Dean that he always hoped he could come back, just the despair in there. Despair, and a little bit of resignation.
More than Dean, I always felt Sam wore his strength well. I love Dean, absolutely, but he feels slightly fragile to me. He's said in show that it scares him what he'll do for his family, but I always felt like that was a liability. Like he knows it's fucked up and he's addicted and can't stop himself. (And ohhhh, that's a thing that I always think about when rereading 5D5D, that Sam's various drug addictions and Dean's familial/sacrifice addiction are exactly the same! Sam looks outside the unit, like he always has, to Stanford, to friends, to moving beyond hunting, to drugs. Dean focuses all of that inward, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, but it's still addiction.) Sam turns that same fear--what he'll do for his family or himself--into this cool, steely armor. Dean reacts, Sam's already thought it through and is prepared. I don't know if that makes sense.
I think, if the roles were reversed and Dean were the poto mitan, he would be driven to suicide or severe mental instability. I can see Dean becoming a drug addict, self medicating. We even see it in show, even if it's never explicitly drugs. But at the end of it, Dean would be *broken*. I don't get that sense from Sam. Sam's just going to change, because he is infinitely more adaptive than Dean is.
I guess that's all to say that while I think the story would be great either way--Dean or Sam as poto mitan--I also can't *imagine* the story any other way. Sam can wear the mantle of leader in ways that Dean can't. Really great insight into their characters. I know it's a story, not a character study, but you've done a compelling job of weaving that insight into the story to make it even better. (Also, I like that there's a teensy taste of Dean's own power later on, so I don't have to torture myself with imagining it. Thanks! :D)
More than Dean, I always felt Sam wore his strength well. I love Dean, absolutely, but he feels slightly fragile to me. He's said in show that it scares him what he'll do for his family, but I always felt like that was a liability. Like he knows it's fucked up and he's addicted and can't stop himself. (And ohhhh, that's a thing that I always think about when rereading 5D5D, that Sam's various drug addictions and Dean's familial/sacrifice addiction are exactly the same! Sam looks outside the unit, like he always has, to Stanford, to friends, to moving beyond hunting, to drugs. Dean focuses all of that inward, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, but it's still addiction.) Sam turns that same fear--what he'll do for his family or himself--into this cool, steely armor. Dean reacts, Sam's already thought it through and is prepared. I don't know if that makes sense.
I think, if the roles were reversed and Dean were the poto mitan, he would be driven to suicide or severe mental instability. I can see Dean becoming a drug addict, self medicating. We even see it in show, even if it's never explicitly drugs. But at the end of it, Dean would be *broken*. I don't get that sense from Sam. Sam's just going to change, because he is infinitely more adaptive than Dean is.
I guess that's all to say that while I think the story would be great either way--Dean or Sam as poto mitan--I also can't *imagine* the story any other way. Sam can wear the mantle of leader in ways that Dean can't. Really great insight into their characters. I know it's a story, not a character study, but you've done a compelling job of weaving that insight into the story to make it even better. (Also, I like that there's a teensy taste of Dean's own power later on, so I don't have to torture myself with imagining it. Thanks! :D)
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