how deep is this soul i feel i'm in seen a lot of light and done a lot with it

[rehymenator]

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[His speech is so totally forced right now.]

I'm...sorry if I was a-- dick. To people. [ mumbled: ] Can I be done now?

[Another awkward pause.]

...I'm better now...

[ooc: aaaand cured of pie!raeg via serum developed by myrnin.]

Comments

[backseatangel]

Done with what?

[rehymenator]

Apologizing to Dean's liking.

[backseatangel]

Why are you apologizing? Did you do something wrong?

[rehymenator]

That's precisely what I said. I wasn't under my own power, I don't understand how I should be held responsible...

[Scowl.]

You reprimanded me. What's changed?

[backseatangel]

I reprimanded you? Castiel, what are you talking about?

[rehymenator]

Can I see you?

[For once, he's asking to invade her personal space. This is his worryface.]

[backseatangel]

Of course.

action;

[rehymenator]

[He arrives, with actual personal space between them. At first glance, she doesn't look wrong, but clearly something is amiss. Castiel steps a little closer, slow as to allow her time to react if it's unwelcome.]

...What's the last thing you remember?

action;

[backseatangel]

[She doesn't react, but she notes the distance he's given her and the hesitance as he approaches and wonders if that's indicative of a larger issue she's forgotten. For her part, she makes no move to stop or encourage him.]

It isn't that simple. There are... gaps appearing in my memory. I can't remember going home and getting my Grace back, I don't remember Dean's car or that I've apparently been in a relationship with him. I don't remember where the dog came from, and I realized yesterday that I'd forgotten Bobby Singer entirely.

[She looks over at him, meeting his eye with what to others would seem mild discomfort, but to Castiel's eyes a look approaching panic.]And yet I remember the Winchesters clearly, I remember we were looking for my Grace. I remember you were hunting me at the time and I remember that here, we've managed to regain some of the trust that we had lost to that fight. I remember Sam turned into a kitten over the weekend, which I'm certain amused Lucifer as much as it did Sam

action;

[rehymenator]

I...it's nothing.

[He moves forward, both hands coming up on either side of her head, in an attempt to see if he can get a glimpse of what is (and isn't) inside. Maybe even restore or share it -- of course, he approaches her cautiously, aware of what interference the City's prone to having on them.]

This is more important for now.

action;

[backseatangel]

[She stands still as a statue. Letting him do as he wishes, but not having any hope that he will find anything that can help. The memory loss was rampant, affecting more than just her with a randomness that couldn't be explained.]

I'm losing myself, Castiel.

[It was simply said, and honest.]

action;

[rehymenator]

[He lets his hands drop away, frowning at the lack of results from his attempt to fix everything. All traces of anything had been lost; no gaps, no holes, just -- nothing was there. And the attempt to fill it with new information, sharing it as usual, simply resulted in nothing. No strain, no transfer, just empty nothing.]

Your memories don't solely make up who you are, Anna. You've proven that before.

action;

[backseatangel]

And if I lose everything? Go back to who I was?

[The implication was clear. She had been a soldier, battle hardened and absolutely ruthless.]

action;

[rehymenator]

[He doesn't have an answer, not really. Instead, to stall or reassure her or both, he reaches down to take one of her hands in his and squeezes it gently.]

...I'll be here to remind you. Somehow.

action;

[backseatangel]

[There's a slight smile and she returns the squeeze.]

You always were my best student.

action;

[rehymenator]

[He pauses briefly, and if Castiel smiles it's the barest, only visible in his eyes and what one might classify as mischievous, quite possibly teasing.]

...As far as you remember, now. [Aaaand bracing for a swat.]