A snap back to reality, WHOOP there goes gravity.
I must say reading my old livejournal entries was quite amusing due to the fact i was by far the most emotional, self-absorbed, hopeless romantic on the fucking planet. Ahahaha. But hey now killer before you go agreein' 100% on me, i will point out that i was 16 years old. I mean im not much older now being 18 & all but you would be surpised the lessons learned and the life changing expeirences..... where do i begin?
Ah yes, the prick (for lack of better word).. Mark. Didnt i sound as if i would never get over his ass? Well newsflash, I did. I look back on it all and yeah, theres things i could of done differently but you know what? im happy i didnt.. because im so glad i am not with him. We were mis-matched from the verrrry beginning. I recall this is why they call it "young love" & "fools rush in", because thats exactly was it is.. young & foolish. I dont love him anymore but i dont hate him. I am indifferent. He is now happily in a relationship with no other but Kristina (KUNTina in my book) sheilds. They were "bff" most of the time when me & him dated so that was love waiting to happen. They have been together for almost a year now and i can honestly say, im happy for them. Now that is a match made in heaven, or should i say... a match made sown together by weed, since thats all they do. Hahahaha, potheads. Yeeep! Im so past all that, and its feels fucking fab.
Now AFTER mark, i went of a shopping spree. And i dont mean that in a material & clothing way. Thats right, i went boy scouting. And i met many of them & learned alot. So that jump from 16 to 18 was quite the leep. Lets go in order.
CHRISTIAN- the guy i lost my virginity too at 14. had a major crush on him since 13 but it never turned into "love" and after we did the deed, it pretty much went nowhere and i ended up in marks arms.
CURRENT STATUS: Aquaintences.
MARK- come on, i think we got the jist of that insanity.
CURRENT STATUS: He hates me and i am indifferent.
JAKE- jacob franklin. the guy who supposivly "came in between of me & mark" well guess what? hes STILL my bestfriend to this day. Granted i didnt see he was the better choice out of all the guys (in which im about to name) during my scouting but i do now & im now with him. but on ward to the past...
CURRENT STATUS: Bestfriend.
BILLY- straaaight rebound. he was in my life, then out of it and he stayed out of it. My choice.
CURRENT STATUS: dont know, dont care.
DAMEON- my 28yr old GM from ruby tuesdays who had a pregnant fiance. My pick of the litter huh? i actually really liked him but heres this thing i like to call the "80/20" Your with your spouse and they are 80% of what you need but missing just a few things (bc no one is perfect, you know?) and then you run into someone who is all the things in which your 80 isnt, that would make them the 20. Good enough to have the 80 and find the 20 but not good enough to leave the 80 FOR the 20....... in his eyes, i was the 20. Still am to this day.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
ZIGGY- talk about the most beautiful guy i ever laid eyes on. he was tall, thin, and had the most sexy long dreads. he caught my eye when i FIRST dated mark and once me & mark had our official breakup, best believe when i had a "Go".. i went with all speed. It never became anything more then a fling & no attachment what so ever but damn he was sexy.. and im proud to say i tapped that.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
DANNY- in simple terms, he used to date kristina and clearly, i dated mark. us 4 used to all be friends & double date. when me & him found out about mark&kuntina.. we wanted revenge. even though they dont know, we know what we did that one night, just for our own heads. I know, wtf was i thinking right?
CURRENT STATUS: havent heard from him.
GARRETT- Known him since back in the christian days. Hung out alot during break up with mark. Become smoking buddies, then friends, then more. i left for new mexico, never heard from him again & he is now happily with cass deezy. More power to them.
CURRENT STATUS: havent heard from him.
(new mexico boys)
SEAN- the blonde hair tattoed rocker who played guitar and had a drinking problem. but he sure could sing. i was warned that once he slept with a girl it all went downhill but did i listen? nahhhh, i went for it, i liked him.. he got drunk & hit me for no reason one night, he got hit by a semi 2 days later & broke both legs.. once he recovered and i finally heard from him, he "hated my guts".. never found out why. Whatever.
CURRENT STATUS: he hates me.
THOMAS- the "player" of chili's. he was good looking and he made panties drop with one look. when i first started chilis, i heard about his rep & stayed far away. perosnally i hated boys who acted like dogs so i knew the bastard had fleas. I stayed away from that. He didnt like me either. Just bad vibes off eachother. Then my bestfriend tiff started dating his bestfriend ahmed. she needed a ride to ahmeds, thomas was there. i ended up talking to talking for hours and then... we hit it off. thats right... from hatin2datin. we actually became official and i really liked him. and you know what they say "if its too good to be true it probably is" well, he was everything a girl could ask for, handsome, bartender, and STOPPED becomming a player for me, and guess what? his penis was about 3inches hard and when we had sex it looked like he was having a siesure. i looked past it at the time then in time i lost interest. my baddd. he ended up finding someone, of course & there still together.. and happy.
CURRENT STATUS:
Still mustal friends, dont talk much.
TIM- known him since 13. never looked at him in that way. but we ended up talking on the phone for hours one day and we had alot in common and agreed on alot of the same things. hes a great guy and still is to this day, but that fling ended as fast as it started. he is now happy in love with my bestfriend tiff, im glad :)
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
JASON- j.francissss! hes great. and he rocked my world. the most spontaneous, adventurous person i ever met. if i still lived in new mexico, i would be with him. But hey, things happen for a reason.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
BEAU- Hispanic. Sexy. Smooth. Suave.... UNavailable. Hes got a baby AND a babys moma. At first me & him just become good friends then as we got to know eachother, we ended up liking eachother.. acted on our feelings one night and then realized we had to stop before it got messy.
CURRENT STATUS: i still work with him @ gina's but still friends.
Thats all of the bastards! hahaha, i learned alot. i gained alot of knowledge & wisdom from each & every one of them. But here i am, 12 guys later and still alone. Guilt tries to creep in saying its ME and if it was hit or miss.. i missed the mark 12 times. but then i think, nahh. they just arnt it. they were 12 steps to the guy its really supposed to be. 12 steps i had to walk before being with "HIM", whoever that may be. So i guess we shall see & time will tell.....
Until next time.
Ah yes, the prick (for lack of better word).. Mark. Didnt i sound as if i would never get over his ass? Well newsflash, I did. I look back on it all and yeah, theres things i could of done differently but you know what? im happy i didnt.. because im so glad i am not with him. We were mis-matched from the verrrry beginning. I recall this is why they call it "young love" & "fools rush in", because thats exactly was it is.. young & foolish. I dont love him anymore but i dont hate him. I am indifferent. He is now happily in a relationship with no other but Kristina (KUNTina in my book) sheilds. They were "bff" most of the time when me & him dated so that was love waiting to happen. They have been together for almost a year now and i can honestly say, im happy for them. Now that is a match made in heaven, or should i say... a match made sown together by weed, since thats all they do. Hahahaha, potheads. Yeeep! Im so past all that, and its feels fucking fab.
Now AFTER mark, i went of a shopping spree. And i dont mean that in a material & clothing way. Thats right, i went boy scouting. And i met many of them & learned alot. So that jump from 16 to 18 was quite the leep. Lets go in order.
CHRISTIAN- the guy i lost my virginity too at 14. had a major crush on him since 13 but it never turned into "love" and after we did the deed, it pretty much went nowhere and i ended up in marks arms.
CURRENT STATUS: Aquaintences.
MARK- come on, i think we got the jist of that insanity.
CURRENT STATUS: He hates me and i am indifferent.
JAKE- jacob franklin. the guy who supposivly "came in between of me & mark" well guess what? hes STILL my bestfriend to this day. Granted i didnt see he was the better choice out of all the guys (in which im about to name) during my scouting but i do now & im now with him. but on ward to the past...
CURRENT STATUS: Bestfriend.
BILLY- straaaight rebound. he was in my life, then out of it and he stayed out of it. My choice.
CURRENT STATUS: dont know, dont care.
DAMEON- my 28yr old GM from ruby tuesdays who had a pregnant fiance. My pick of the litter huh? i actually really liked him but heres this thing i like to call the "80/20" Your with your spouse and they are 80% of what you need but missing just a few things (bc no one is perfect, you know?) and then you run into someone who is all the things in which your 80 isnt, that would make them the 20. Good enough to have the 80 and find the 20 but not good enough to leave the 80 FOR the 20....... in his eyes, i was the 20. Still am to this day.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
ZIGGY- talk about the most beautiful guy i ever laid eyes on. he was tall, thin, and had the most sexy long dreads. he caught my eye when i FIRST dated mark and once me & mark had our official breakup, best believe when i had a "Go".. i went with all speed. It never became anything more then a fling & no attachment what so ever but damn he was sexy.. and im proud to say i tapped that.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
DANNY- in simple terms, he used to date kristina and clearly, i dated mark. us 4 used to all be friends & double date. when me & him found out about mark&kuntina.. we wanted revenge. even though they dont know, we know what we did that one night, just for our own heads. I know, wtf was i thinking right?
CURRENT STATUS: havent heard from him.
GARRETT- Known him since back in the christian days. Hung out alot during break up with mark. Become smoking buddies, then friends, then more. i left for new mexico, never heard from him again & he is now happily with cass deezy. More power to them.
CURRENT STATUS: havent heard from him.
(new mexico boys)
SEAN- the blonde hair tattoed rocker who played guitar and had a drinking problem. but he sure could sing. i was warned that once he slept with a girl it all went downhill but did i listen? nahhhh, i went for it, i liked him.. he got drunk & hit me for no reason one night, he got hit by a semi 2 days later & broke both legs.. once he recovered and i finally heard from him, he "hated my guts".. never found out why. Whatever.
CURRENT STATUS: he hates me.
THOMAS- the "player" of chili's. he was good looking and he made panties drop with one look. when i first started chilis, i heard about his rep & stayed far away. perosnally i hated boys who acted like dogs so i knew the bastard had fleas. I stayed away from that. He didnt like me either. Just bad vibes off eachother. Then my bestfriend tiff started dating his bestfriend ahmed. she needed a ride to ahmeds, thomas was there. i ended up talking to talking for hours and then... we hit it off. thats right... from hatin2datin. we actually became official and i really liked him. and you know what they say "if its too good to be true it probably is" well, he was everything a girl could ask for, handsome, bartender, and STOPPED becomming a player for me, and guess what? his penis was about 3inches hard and when we had sex it looked like he was having a siesure. i looked past it at the time then in time i lost interest. my baddd. he ended up finding someone, of course & there still together.. and happy.
CURRENT STATUS:
Still mustal friends, dont talk much.
TIM- known him since 13. never looked at him in that way. but we ended up talking on the phone for hours one day and we had alot in common and agreed on alot of the same things. hes a great guy and still is to this day, but that fling ended as fast as it started. he is now happy in love with my bestfriend tiff, im glad :)
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
JASON- j.francissss! hes great. and he rocked my world. the most spontaneous, adventurous person i ever met. if i still lived in new mexico, i would be with him. But hey, things happen for a reason.
CURRENT STATUS: Still friends.
BEAU- Hispanic. Sexy. Smooth. Suave.... UNavailable. Hes got a baby AND a babys moma. At first me & him just become good friends then as we got to know eachother, we ended up liking eachother.. acted on our feelings one night and then realized we had to stop before it got messy.
CURRENT STATUS: i still work with him @ gina's but still friends.
Thats all of the bastards! hahaha, i learned alot. i gained alot of knowledge & wisdom from each & every one of them. But here i am, 12 guys later and still alone. Guilt tries to creep in saying its ME and if it was hit or miss.. i missed the mark 12 times. but then i think, nahh. they just arnt it. they were 12 steps to the guy its really supposed to be. 12 steps i had to walk before being with "HIM", whoever that may be. So i guess we shall see & time will tell.....
Until next time.